At what age sounds good to make your exit?

[TravelingGal]

Kenny's forever thread leads me to pose this question...

What age do you think is a good age to make your exit from this world, if given a choice. This is assuming you will be of sound mind BUT that normal age health related stuff will happen.

My mom wants to go in 5 years or so (she's changing her mind because of Amelia though). I'm like, what? 5 years? NO! She'll be 75. But then I see TGuy's aunt who is 90 and her mind is a sharp is a tack, but she's suffering badly because her body is falling apart.

I'm thinking 83? That sounds OK to me. Still kind of short though, when I think that my life would be pretty well halfway lived.

 

[dragonfly411]

I think it would depend on how my body and mind together last. I want to go when one or the other goes.

 

[Hera]

I would like to be 75-80 years old as long as my body doesn't hurt too much. I really don't want to live to be in my 80's. Looking at the family trees, I will outlive my husband by at least ten years and by looking at my grandparents, my quality of life will be severely diminished by that time.

 

[Kaleigh]

85?? If my mind is sharp, and body is doing ok, that seems like a good age... Nanny made it to 94.. But she was miserable and really hated the last 6 months. I think the biggest thing for her was losing her eyesight. She lived to read.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

85 seems like a good age. My grandmothers are both 90 and one has lost it, the other is going quickly. I want to go when my quality of life has diminished. Even so, I think it is easier for the mind to go before the body.

 

[Jennifer W]

The norm in my family is quite a bit older. We expect to see 90, and we expect to see it in rude health, mentally and physically.
Uncle Douglas was 101 when he died. He lived independently and his death interrupted a literature review article he was writing for submission to the British Medical Journal.

Edited for typo - he was not in fact 140!

 

[gemgirl]

I think 85 sounds about right to me too. My Grandmother passed from normal causes at 94, but she became different from her very late 80's on after experiencing the first serious illness of her life. I know I wouldn't want to live without my mind intact. That's something I think about every now and then with my mother and my mother's sister in nursing homes. My mother has early stage dementia and her sister has late stage and that's awfully sad to witness.

 

[Haven]

This man inspired us to start living under the assumption that we want to make it to 120, maybe 140, with his appearance on this year's ESPN broadcast of the Kona Ironman:
http://www.lewhollander.com/

He's in his 80s and this was his 21st year completing the Kona triathlon. (Which, by the way, means he qualified in some other rigorous race to even gain entry into Kona.)

He lives by two rules:
- He never eats something if he can't identify its parts
- He goes anabolic with his cardio training every day

ANYWAY, he's been a big inspiration to us since we watched the Ironman World Championship, and we've been living as if we'll live to be at least 120 ever since. This means we take even better care of our bodies and our mental health than we were doing before. We've always been healthy and big on keeping stress at bay, but this gave us a push to be even better.

SO, I'm planning to reach 120 with a sound mind and body.

All that being said, I cared for my grandmother when she was very ill and losing control of her body in her mid eighties. She was in constant, horrible pain, and her pride was severely wounded when she could no longer care for herself. It was devastating, and I wouldn't want to be in that situation, myself.

 

[ForteKitty]

my maternal grandparents are in their late 80s and still in great health. my paternal grandparents passed away last year, at 90 and 85. They were healthy until the last 6 months to 1 year.

I dont plan on having kids, so i'll go when i can't get around on my own and/or think for myself anymore. No point being a burden to anyone else! There are also instructions to unplug me if i ever end up on a machine.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

This is a hard question for me...I'm currently the part time care giver for my grandmother who is 83 and suffers from Alzheimers.

I watch my grandmother a few days per week when my Mom needs a break. It's the most painful test of my patiences and understanding. She is uppity, angry, confused, flustered and the list goes on. She'll resort to pulling on her hair when she can't make her point, she refuses to eat anything but sweet foods and even then claims she's just not hungry. Last week she was in severe pain, we took her to the ER and within a few minutes of arriving she was so angry...apparently, she forgot she was in pain and embarrassed to be in a hospital. She fights to stay with it, but with each passing day she's loosing that grip more and more.

I would NEVER want to live like that. Sorry, I just wouldn't. Even if my body was entirely healthy--as my grandmothers is--I wouldn't want to lose my mind. It's a horrible, horrible death to lose everything you've ever known, to have no memories and have nothing bring you joy, yet remained tied to a body that otherwise functions.

I would say at time before that.

ETA: I felt bad posting that...my grandmother is not a burden, and I wouldn't want to miss any time with her...but I see the mental pain she is in...that's all...

 

[HollyS]

Doesn't anyone think it's rather . . . odd . . . if not morbid . . . to sit around and think about optimum times to die?

I think no one really is ready to go, unless they are suffering in some way. The survival instinct in the species is so great, that when push comes to shove, we would rather live. We just don't want to be frail, alone, or unwell in mind or body.

I know 90-somethings that have a spring in their step and a lot of life left to live. I know 70-somethings that seem to be on their last legs. As long as I'm living well, I'm willing to be a little ol' centenarian.

 

[soocool]

I have one daughter so I would like to think that part of me will live on in her and in her children someday. So in essence I will be around for a very long time. I will also be that tiny voice in their head that will try to steer them in the right direction.

 

[lulu]

Hard to say. My mother in law is 96, lives alone, drives and is as sharp as the proverbial tack. (And her nail polish and lipstick are always coordinated with her clothes.)

 

[HollyS]

Hard to say. My mother in law is 96, lives alone, drives and is as sharp as the proverbial tack. (And her nail polish and lipstick are always coordinated with her clothes.)

I finally know what/who I want to be when I grow up! Your MIL!

 

[Pandora II]

Hard to say. My mother in law is 96, lives alone, drives and is as sharp as the proverbial tack. (And her nail polish and lipstick are always coordinated with her clothes.)

My grandmother is the same - although thankfully no longer driving!

 

[iLander]

I hope to live to see all my grandchildren, then I hope to go quickly.

I hope to be walking across the room one day, and hit the floor cold.

I went through seeing my grandmother drift off with Alzeheimer's, and my MIL loose her battle to cancer after multiple amputations.

I just want to go without being a burden to others.

 

[TravelingGal]

Doesn't anyone think it's rather . . . odd . . . if not morbid . . . to sit around and think about optimum times to die?

I think no one really is ready to go, unless they are suffering in some way. The survival instinct in the species is so great, that when push comes to shove, we would rather live. We just don't want to be frail, alone, or unwell in mind or body.

I know 90-somethings that have a spring in their step and a lot of life left to live. I know 70-somethings that seem to be on their last legs. As long as I'm living well, I'm willing to be a little ol' centenarian.

It's totally morbid, which is why I wish my mom wouldn't mention it. I do think about it a lot more now that I have a kid. I suppose a better question would be to say, how long do you want to live?

 

[decodelighted]

Can I list what ages I'd like to see OTHER people kick it? (Sorry, bad day.)

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I'm ready to go when I've lost the people that mean the most to me and I have nothing left to live for. I hope I don't see that day for years upon years.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I think 92

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I think 85-90 is realistic and reasonable for me. My great grandfather lived to 102, and died more tech-savvy than my dad. Seriously, the man had a website and the newest digital cameras, guy was amazing. He never drove, but he did continue to ride his bike to work until he was about 98, at which point they took his bike away because his hearing was starting to go. Didn't stop him from working though (he was an acoustic linguist PhD).

But should anything unpredictable happen and I start needing long term company in using the bathroom, I'm calling it a day.

 

[gemgirl]

Hard to say. My mother in law is 96, lives alone, drives and is as sharp as the proverbial tack. (And her nail polish and lipstick are always coordinated with her clothes.)

She must be one fabulous lady!

 

[soocool]

Doesn't anyone think it's rather . . . odd . . . if not morbid . . . to sit around and think about optimum times to die?

I think no one really is ready to go, unless they are suffering in some way. The survival instinct in the species is so great, that when push comes to shove, we would rather live. We just don't want to be frail, alone, or unwell in mind or body.

I know 90-somethings that have a spring in their step and a lot of life left to live. I know 70-somethings that seem to be on their last legs. As long as I'm living well, I'm willing to be a little ol' centenarian.

It's totally morbid, which is why I wish my mom wouldn't mention it. I do think about it a lot more now that I have a kid. I suppose a better question would be to say, how long do you want to live?

As to morbid yes. Something I would not normally think about, but it is almost a year ago that I almost died when my heart stopped. In the beginning not a day went by that I constantly thought about it and was afraid to close my eyes at night. It got better and I did not think about it for awhile until this winter and all the snow. This is the kind of weather we had last February when I landed in the ER and now I have started to fear the worst again and am sometimes afraid to close my eyes at night, scared that I may not open them ever again.

 

[makemepretty]

Never ....but before my children.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Doesn't anyone think it's rather . . . odd . . . if not morbid . . . to sit around and think about optimum times to die?

I think no one really is ready to go, unless they are suffering in some way. The survival instinct in the species is so great, that when push comes to shove, we would rather live. We just don't want to be frail, alone, or unwell in mind or body.
I know 90-somethings that have a spring in their step and a lot of life left to live. I know 70-somethings that seem to be on their last legs. As long as I'm living well, I'm willing to be a little ol' centenarian.

Yeah, more along my view...when "frail, alone, or unwell in mind or body," I'd like to move on to whatever is next.

That aside, I'm not sure if I'd want to live to be 90 or something. Little technological things like ipads freak me out...I don't think I could mentally handle what's going to be running our lives 50+ years down the road.

 

[ForteKitty]

This may sound morbid, but my grandparents, mom, and aunt's family purchased their plots at Rose Hills years ago. They didn't want us to deal w/ it when the time comes, or get ripped off, so they purchased when they saw some private sales show up on the local penny saver (this family wanted to sell their family plot because they are donating their body to science). They got the plots for less than 50% the retail price.

My mom and aunt wanted the ones w/ the city view, and joked that since it's close to the mall, they can go shopping together. My grandparents' plots are closer to the office so they figured it'd be safer and better kept.

I even have my will and last instructions clearly outlined. death doesn't scare me because i know i'll move on... or stay around to haunt people!

 

[meresal]

If I am lucky enough to make it to old age with my husband, then I think I would want to go at the same time he does.

As for an age, I would like us both to make it as long as we are still able to enjoy eachother's company and spend quality time with our family. I don't want to be boring and lazy, I don't want to be a burden on anyone, and I don't want people feel obligated to come visit me becuase I am no longer mobile. As long as people are still genuinely excited to see me, then I will be happy!

 

[kama_s]

I used to think 50, I think I'm now okay with 60.

In my culture, people age faster. Not so much physically, but mentally. My grandma has always acted like a 90 year old, for all the 27 years I've known her. I always thought she was much older than she really is, but that's probably because she would moan and groan and complain and ask people to fetch her stuff all the time, despite being in good health. Same with my dad. At 40 he claimed to be an old man. Everytime you ask him why he hasn't gotten around to doing something (a hobby or such), his excuse is that he's too old for it.

So as a kid growing up, being 'old' sucked! Moving to NA, I've realized age is what you make it out to be. My 82 year old friend who had a double lung transplant a few years ago just got married to her love of 30 years - only so they could be burried together (according to the Jewish customs). My 65 year old ex-neighbor still goes for a jog every morning. And polishes his fancy cars and catcalls his wife!

That said, I hate wrinkles and sagging skin and being frail and unable to fend for myself. I love my youth and will yearn for it when I have it no longer.

 

[soberguy]

I'd say 5 or 6 thousand. I would totally take the potion in Death Becomes Her. My family tend to live into their 80's-90's with very little health issues... Unless they die by misadventure of course lol! As long as I can walk, and have independence, I am perfectly happy living as long as the Universe needs me.