Wedding arrrrgh. frustrated. timeline question - 6pm wedding

[DMBFiredancer]

this is not for my own wedding but for a wedding we are attending tonight. my FI just dropped the bomb on me that he has to leave at 9pm from the wedding.
(i knew he needed to work tonight, but i thought he was just going to go to work straight AFTER the wedding...grrrr. it was all just bad communication on both ends for this one)

anyway....

the wedding starts at 6pm (ceremony and then reception right after at the same place)

my question is....what time do you think dinner would be served?



he has to leave at 9...so i''m hoping at least he gets to enjoy the meal. i flipped out this morning, imagining myself with an empty seat next to me at dinner, feeling embarrassed...knowing that if i was the bride/groom paying alot of money for our meals, i''d be mad if a guest left before eating it.

now, i know i will be seated at a table with a bunch of friends, so i definitely won''t be alone there...but its just the fact of feeling bad that money was spent for a person (my guest) to be in that seat and i feel that its wrong if he leaves - at least before dinner.

anyone ever experience this? is is THAT bad if a guest has to leave? (its ok if you''re brutally honest - i can take it!

 

[rubybeth]

We had a 6pm ceremony, which was a mass that lasted about an hour, and we ate around 7:30-8pm. I think, unless they''re having a cocktail hour between the ceremony and reception, you''ll be fine. And, as a bride, I wouldn''t be that bothered if somebody left early, especially if it wasn''t somebody ''essential'' to the proceedings (a parent, attendant, etc.). No worries!! Just go and have fun!

 

[Sabine]

It probably depends on what kind of ceremony it is. If it is a church ceremony, and they do a cocktail hour, it might be close, but I''m guessing he will still be able to eat. If it''s a less structured ceremony, it should be no problem. Even if he does have to leave early, I almost bet they would be able to give him his meal to go...just don''t mention it to the bride and groom!

 

[marchswallowbird]

Firedancer, it doesn''t seem there''s a lot you can do about this, so stop feeling so bad about it! It is not your fault. Just make a point of graciously explaining the situation to the bride and groom. Do it in a way that does not criticize your FI or make him look bad. Life happens. They will understand. They will survive. One guest leaving early is not going to ruin their wedding or push their expenses over the brink. It is NOT that bad, especially since you will be seated at a table with a bunch of friends to hand out with after he leaves. Have fun!!

 

[DMBFiredancer]

thank you for helping me feel better about this, everyone.
your replies helped me a lot. i have calmed down quite a bit now and i''m going to go into this with a good attitude and still try to have a great time at the wedding. as far as my FI, i am going to be thankful for the time that he CAN be there, and enjoy those few hours with him.

its not a church ceremony (its at a country club) so by your replies, it looks like he may very well get to eat dinner with us before he has to go. and if not, then that''s the way it goes....

swallowbird, you''re absolutely right....life happens and they will understand. just as i would understand if if happened to someone who was a guest at my own wedding.

thank you again, everyone!