are you the parent's favorite child?

[princesss]

I don't think my parents have favourites. I think there are definitely kids they understand a little better, but I never got the feeling that one of us was favoured over the other 2.

 

[gemgirl]

I was definitely my parents' favorite child, but neither I nor my sister were ever spoiled. We were relatively poor growing up and there was no money for extras. We never got many toys, not even for Christmas. We got necessities like clothes and shoes for occasions.
I remember my parents buying me exactly one thing that was an extravagance. I got a 16" black and white Hitachi TV for my room when I finished high school. It was for remaining on the honor roll for four years.

 

[anchor31]

My brother was their favourite (still seems to be). He was the eldest by 18 months and their "miracle child". They had been trying to conceive for 7 years when mom finally got pregnant with him.

He was allowed to do things like go to school by bike, have sleepovers, ect. that my sister and I were not allowed to do for years after the age he was allowed. Logically, we should have been allowed to do those things 18 months after he was, but we weren't. I remember very specifically once that in 6th grade he's started a private flute class, than switched to clarinet. My parents had to buy him an instrument for both classes. I asked to take a trumpet class in 6th grade, and my parents refused because "it was expensive". Maybe it was, but it wasn't fair that he could have two shots at private classes and I couldn't at all. Later, my father got him great summer jobs at his office throughout junior college and college and he would have had no trouble finding work after college even if he hadn't joined the Navy. He had a great pay and a great schedule while my sister and I busted our asses at minimum wage waitressing and retail jobs. They gave him a car (used, but still) until he could buy his own. My dad give him a check for a downpayment when he finally bought his own. I have not received a car, or an offer to help for a downpayment. My parents are very generous with me and my sister, but my brother always had more.

My brother turned out ok, and so did my sister and I, but we definitely had to do more things on our own. I really don't believe that spoiling a child really helps him in the end though. I know some things our parents don't, and he is darn lucky to be where he is, because he was very close to getting himself in a lot of trouble. And it's not something my parents could have helped him with.

 

[TooPatient]

Yes and no?

I have one brother who is three years younger than me. He was slower than "average" developing his motor skills (coloring in the lines, scissor control were "below average" in pre-school).

My father was well... interesting. My brother got along with him better than I did because they were interested in the same sorts of stuff (trucks, cars) and my father didn't really see any point to school (which I liked) or anything "educational" (like reading) and was very convinced that there was nothing useful to be learned after 2nd grade. He'd team up with my brother and tease me ("4-eyes", "miss-know-it-all", "thinks she's smarter than us").
So.... yeah... He and my brother still see each other. I've had no contact with him for years now. (LOooooong story )

My mother always babied my brother. I was expected to do well in school, he wasn't. I had to clean my room, he didn't. Etc etc etc.
I always felt like she liked him best.
Now I'm not sure. I think she felt he needed more attention and I don't think she really planned for things to work out the way they did for me (certainly not how they did for him!) (Oh... not saying she isn't happy for me, just that I think it worked out even though she hadn't really thought about anything)

Now?
I think I may be her favorite:

My brother:
is unemployed
has only ever had a sort of temporary (on-call) job
doesn't know what he wants to do with his life
has never had a relationship
And.... lives in HER house (has never moved out)

I:
have a job
am getting married
am in college
and... live in a house that ISN'T hers!

 

[rubybeth]

I find this thread very interesting, thanks everyone for your very honest comments.

I would say that my sister is the favorite, at least my mom's favorite, and that I am fine with that. I'm the oldest and she is 6 years younger than me. My mom was also the youngest of four and I think that colored her view of many arguments between me and sis growing up; she'd have more sympathy for my sister and see her as the underdog.

Now that I'm nearly 30 and my sister is 23 and in graduate school in Pittsburgh (far away from home, which is in Minnesota), I see how much my mom leaned on my sister for emotional support. They talk on the phone every day, probably iChat every other day or so, and text a lot, too. When I lived out of state, I talked to my mom maybe twice a week. I think this makes sense with our personalities; I'm much more like my dad and sometimes my mom and her chatting drives me a little batty. My sister and mom are both more into clothes, shoes, etc. while I've always had more obscure interests.

My parents are, however, **extremely** fair about how much help they give us financially. We both lived at home through undergrad and they paid for tuition, and I lived at home for most of my graduate schooling, too. They gave us used cars of approximately the same value when we were old enough to drive, and have forgiven small debts of equal amounts over the years. My mom is also funny about birthdays and Christmas; if she spends even $5 more on one of our presents, she'll write a check to the other to even it up. I asked her about this a few years ago and she said she didn't think her parents were very fair with her and her older sisters, and she didn't want us to feel that we were shorted in any way. I'm sure that when my sister gets married, they'll make sure to help with expenses in the same way they helped with my wedding, and if she never gets married, I can see them giving her a gift of equivalent value.

 

[mrscushion]

I'm an only child, so yes, I was their favorite! I think I was pretty spoiled as a kid.

 

[rosetta]

Well despite not being the favourite, I'm more successful than either one of my siblings. Both of them are still being put through college, and my brother has already flunked out once. They are both single and not managed any successful relationships, and have no career paths. My brother is also very overweight and had to be bailed out of jail in the US (long story). I wouldn't swap my life for theirs. They depend on the Bank of Mum and Dad completely. My parents bought my brother a house too. They are paying for part of my wedding though, much to my surprise, so I'm very grateful for that. They seem to be coming, albeit slowly, to the realisation that I'm probably not such a bad daughter.

So yeah, though it bothers me that I have always been treated so differently, it has probably made me the woman I am. And that's no bad thing at all

 

[Puppmom]

Nope, I would say I rank 3rd out of the 4 kids. My eldest sister is my mom's least fav. My brother is my mom's fav and I'm fine with that because he's the one that has to put up with all of her crap and she does a lot for me to *prove* that she doesn't like him more than me. It's a win-win!

 

[monarch64]

Yes, I was and am the favorite. If I had seen this thread as soon as it was posted, I would've provided more details. At this point my input will be relegated to second page news, anyway.

I love being the favorite, though!!!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Hmm, not exactly sure who was favourite but I know that being 9 years younger than my sister certainly gave me the better/ easier upbringing. My sister deserves to be the favorite though.

I know that my daughter is the favorite Grandchild out of 4 and this causes a lot of tension between my sister and I. We lived with my mum when she was born up until she was 7 so my mum has a completely different relationship with her than the other grand kids so it only stands to reason that she is the favorite.

 

[diamondringlover]

no, I am the middle child, my younger sister was the favorite