are you the parent's favorite child?

[Dancing Fire]

did they spoiled you more than your brothers or sisters?

 

[davi_el_mejor]

I was the favorite kid until my mom got her dog. Now I'm her favorite human kid... second place to a dog...

 

[TravelingGal]

I never felt that either my bro or I was my mom's fav. She was very very fair and I thought she loved us both equally.

Now as an adult, I still know she loves us equally, but I think she LIKES me more. Maybe because I'm her daughter and I still think and care about her more than my brother (who is more adoring to his wife). She definitely does do more for me, but I'm more accessible and do things for her more often. Plus we both have the bond of motherhood now.

 

[meresal]

If you asked all of my siblings, they would say yes.

However, I am the baby and am 9 years younger than my closest sibling... they all grew up in a house of lots of kids, and I pretty much grew up, where it was just me and my parents. We have a closer bond.

I also call to talk with my mom and dad at least twice a week. Not to mention my DH and my dad send emails about sports pretty often. I don't know any of my other siblings that do that. I do know that my mom has gone weeks without hearing from my sister who lives 45 minutes away from her.

And yes, I have to defend myself like this in real life as well. Most of my siblings hated me until I was 21. I'm pretty sure one of them still does, but has gotten better at hiding it. I kill her with kindness, so it looks horrible if she openly hates me.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

No, I am the classic middle child. Always felt like my siblings were favored. As an adult I think my DD is their favorite (only grandchild) followed by my brother. He is the youngest, only boy, and was a miracle baby (born at 28 weeks). All the makings of a favorite child.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Now as an adult, I still know she loves us equally, but I think she LIKES me more. Maybe because I'm her daughter and I still think and care about her more than my brother (who is more adoring to his wife). She definitely does do more for me, but I'm more accessible and do things for her more often. Plus we both have the bond of motherhood now.

This. My brother was the first child, and the first grandbaby, so as a kid he was definitely the favorite. Now Micah is the first GREAT grandbaby so he is the favorite

 

[purselover]

I'm the youngest of 3 by 6 and 10 years but I'm definitely the least favorite. We all agree my brother in the middle is the favorite "golden boy" and my sister the oldest is the 2nd favorite, and then there's me. If we add my DH and BIl into the mix then it's pretty close between my DH and my brother being the favorite and my sister and her DH being next, but I'm still definitely last! It's funny because I was definitely the easiest child to raise (my brother especially was wild) and am still the easiest. My brother and sister are always asking my parents for money and I never ask them for anything! They were just done with wanting kids after my brother I guess.

 

[dragonfly411]

My sister has been the favorite, and now my family is realizing how much of a mistake they made in spoiling her so much.

 

[rosetta]

Nope, I'm the least favourite.

My sister is my father's and my brother is my mother's favourite.

I'm not the only one who says so, so it's not just my own biased view!

 

[yennyfire]

My sister is the favorite (the youngest of two) and always has been, even though she was a wild child and gave my parents a lot of trouble. We all joke now that it's a miracle she survived into adulthood! My Mom and sister are very close, while my Mom and I are very similar in personality, so we tend to butt heads a bit more. It took me a LONG time to get over this, but for the most part, I've made my peace with it. Where I struggle now is that my sister's oldest is clearly the favorite and my kids have no other grandparents (DHs parents passed away many years ago), so it hurts when I see them favor her over the others. So far, my kids haven't noticed, but I know that the day willl come when they do....

 

[Haven]

No.

I don't know if it was about playing favorites, or reacting to our differences as individuals, but my younger sister was (and remains) spoiled, while my parents pretty much always assumed I'd be able to fend for myself. I've always been the independent one who never asked for advice or sought help for anything. She was always a bit more tentative, and needed a push to get anything going.

My parents are extremely defensive with me, and very open to hearing the same things from my sister. My mom's best friend, who is a social worker, tells me that it's hard for parents to have children who are more confident and self-assured than they are, and that my fierce independence has always been threatening to them, starting when I was a young child. I'm not sure I buy that theory, but whatever the reason, my parents definitely take things that I say differently than when my sister says them.

 

[isaku5]

As an only child, I guess I was the favourite, but definitely NOT spoiled by either parent .

My DH and I have two kids and neither claims to know our favourite. I know the truth, but I'm not telling

 

[yssie]

Only. And they spoilt me, with both attention & stuff!

So yeah, definitely "favourite". I turned out okay (I think!)

 

[elrohwen]

I'm an only, so yes!

 

[TravelingGal]

It's strange to me to think that parents actually have favorites- at least, outright. Interesting to read though!

 

[Kaleigh]

I was and growing up it really bothered me. Hated it in fact. My parents really screwed up in not accepting my brother. My brother knew I hated how he was treated. He was 6 years older than me, and was sent away to boarding school at the age of 10. He dropped out of school and moved to NYC at 16!!!!!

I think he was courageous, and really loved him to pieces. I did what I could to educate my parents, and have them accept him but it went on deaf ears. Now he's gone, so the guilt must be terrible.


I don't have a relationship with them, for this and many other reasons.

 

[atroop711]

oh god no..I'm the oldest so I had to be the reliable responsible one...they called my sister (and still do) princess and my brother who is the baby could never do wrong. They spoiled them....BUT I was the first grandchild...so my grandmother spoiled me..I was her heart (as she would tell me )

 

[iLander]

Oh, totally not.

What makes it worse is that I was raised as an only child.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Since there's only myself and my brother, I'd say we were both the favorite to one parent. My dad and I have the same sense of humor, and outgoing personality, so we get along really well. My brother and my mom are more reserved, and introverted, so they share a lot in common. My mom and I butt heads, and my dad and brother butt heads. We often joke that when my parents get too old to care for themselves, I'd take dad in, and my brother would take mom in. Then we'd send them on date nights or occasional sleepovers

 

[packrat]

No, I think my brother is favored more at times. Tho, he'd probably say it's the opposite.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Materially, my sister and I were treated very equally (differently, when necessary, but equally).

However, there is a huge difference in the way my father relates to each of us. I get along very well with my father. We share a lot of interests, we talk a lot, etc. Until someone else is in the room (very plain with my sister, but also noticiable with other people as well), then I get pushed to the side and ignored. Yup, I am sore about this.

And, no, it is not all in my mind. Several people have remarked this to me.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Yes. I'm an only child and was fairly spoiled as a child!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think my parents never had a favorite...but I'm the closest to my father of all the girls. See, I was born after his daughter (from another marriage) died and while I KNOW he loves all her his daughters equally, I think we've always had a different sort of bond.

Outside of that, I'd the spoiling was spread out equally among the 3 of us. We've never doubted that we were loved, and never really wanted for anything--emotionally or otherwise. My parents are warm, loving, giving people by nature and have this quirky ability to make you feel like the center of the universe.

 

[Missy]

No.

I don't know if it was about playing favorites, or reacting to our differences as individuals, but my younger sister was (and remains) spoiled, while my parents pretty much always assumed I'd be able to fend for myself. I've always been the independent one who never asked for advice or sought help for anything. She was always a bit more tentative, and needed a push to get anything going.

My parents are extremely defensive with me, and very open to hearing the same things from my sister. My mom's best friend, who is a social worker, tells me that it's hard for parents to have children who are more confident and self-assured than they are, and that my fierce independence has always been threatening to them, starting when I was a young child. I'm not sure I buy that theory, but whatever the reason, my parents definitely take things that I say differently than when my sister says them.

This exactly. My mom will deny having favorites (and believe me I called her on this on many an occasion) but we certainly were treated very differently growing up and still are. My sister is much more shy than I am and just needed my parents more while I was the more confident and popular child. And to this day, my sister and I could say the same thing to my mom and my mom will be defensive with me and just take what my sister has to say almost deferentially.

It used to aggravate me but I try and let it go now. Thanks to my dh who always points out that I have him and my parents know I am doing great and though my sister is married to the love of her life and has 2 amazing children they just need my parents help more. My dad is great and tries to treat us equally though growing up he definitely favored me. But now I would say he treats my sister and me as equally as possible but my mom is still way off in that respect. Oh well...

 

[zoebartlett]

My parents didn't spoil my sister or me when we were growing up. We were lucky enough to go on vacations occasionally but we definitely weren't given anything and everything we wanted. We had to work hard to earn things. We both had jobs in high school/college, and we were taught to save the majority of our earnings. I didn't get my first car until my senior year of college, and my sister didn't get one until after she graduated.

As for who was considered to be the favorite, I'd say that my sister was the "golden child." She's always been more outgoing than me, and she's had an interesting college experience (performing arts) and profession (actor, writer, among other things). She was the performer in our family. My parents ate it up. I think they were very interested in learning more about the arts through my sister, and that became the topic of many discussions. My sister's accomplishments were more visably noticed, if that makes sense. I chose a more mainstream (not quite the word I'm looking for) major: history and English. I was more introverted and quiet. My sister was the peacemaker, but I was always in trouble in high school. I'm not sure for what, but it was probably for talking back to my parents. I wasn't a problem child but my parents and I definitely had our arguments. I can't remember a single argument that my sister had with them.

Now that I'm a teacher, my mom and I have a lot in common, since she taught for YEARS. In my perspective, things have leveled off over the years.

I didn't intend to write so much. Clearly I have some unresolved issues regarding not being the favorite.

Obviously, if you asked my parents, they'd deny having a favorite. I mean, who would admit to that? I don't think it's *really* true but that was my perspective anyway.

 

[slg47]

I'm an only, so yes!

me too!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

My sister is the favorite. She always has been and always will be. That's not to say that my parents were horrible to me or anything but it's obvious, even as adults, that she is the favorite. My parents have bought her (several) horses, a car, help her out with bills (she still lives at home at 26) and clean up after her around the house.

I've worked since I was a senior in high school, had to buy my own car and had my mom steal student loan money from me when I was unemployed and had to pay my car payment On the flip side, now that I have children of my own I've become closer to my mom although our relationship is a bit strained. DH and I have different parenting styles than my parents did and so we have to carefully balance the time our kids will spend with them.

I just had my second baby and since she was born prematurely she is in the NICU. Because of this our son has been passed around among three relatives in the last week and I feel so bad for him He is only 2.5 so doesn't really understand what's going on but I am trying to make sure that he understands that we still love him just as much as we did before, even if we can't spend as much time with him as we did before. Lots of hugs, kisses and praise for good behavior is seeming to work. With any luck our daughter will be able to come home soon and we'll get back on track and get into a new family routine.

 

[vintagelover229]

diamonddiva: You and your family is in my prayers especially for your little one. Your son is around people who love him and so I wouldn't worry to much about him. HUGS!

 

[MAC-W]

Nope, I'm the least favourite.

My sister is my father's and my brother is my mother's favourite.

I'm not the only one who says so, so it's not just my own biased view!

This exactly.

And it wasn't all just in my perception. My mother actually told me this when I was about 11 It's a wonder I'm as well adjusted as I am, LOL.

 

[y2kitty]

I was more materially spoiled than my siblings but only because they were busy expending all their energy on my sister. I am not the favorite as an adult either.