Are you open about your age?

[Scorpioanne]

I am 50 and never lie about my age. I don''t look my age so it guarantees a compliment!

 

[ImpatientOne]

If someone asks, I tell them. Most of the time I get puzzled looks when I start talking about my kids and the fact that i have grandkids. I just turned 49, but most people think I am no older than 35. Guess I got the good genes! My oldest is turning 28 tomorrow, and whenever we are out in public, they think he is my husband/bf. My husband was recently out of town for 6 weeks and while he was gone my son came to visit. We went to the local coffee shop and the baristas were looking a little worried (they LOVE my hubby). I finally realized maybe I should introduce my son so they didn''t think I was fooling around while my hubby was gone, lol.

 

[pennquaker09]

People don''t believe me when I say I''m 25. I think it''s because of my height.

 

[LGK]

I'm very open about my age. I'm 33. I've stayed out of the sun all my life and am very pale which has kept my skin unlined so far, and look a lot younger than I am, which is probably why I don't mind telling my age. I still get carded buying alcohol every time. I also dress pretty young too, fairly goth usually, which contributes. My DH is the same- he gets carded buying *video games*. All the time! It's rather hilarious.

My weight though

That I wouldn't tell!

ETA: my mom looks WAY younger than she is. She was having surgery a few years ago and her doctor kept referring to me as her sister. Finally I asked the doctor how old she thought my mom was, and she guessed 35 at the oldest. She was 55 at the time! She wasn't kidding either. She seriously thought I was kidding her when I finally told her I was her daughter. Even now at 60 she looks pretty much like late 30s/ early 40s max- she just doesn't get wrinkles.

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/25/2010 8:26:21 PM
Author: Cehrabehra


I''m afraid I''m comming off as too harsh in this thread - Whitby said a lot of what I think so elegantly and tactfully. And what you said in this last line is also what I tend to think - though not so much a weakness in their character as I much as I just feel turned off. This thread has me turned off and I don''t want to feel turned off! I want to feel turned on! hahaha (okay I''m in a funny mood today)

Not at all!! I started the thread because I wanted to hear the varied opinions. Well, that and vent a little bit. I think it''s just hard for some people to understand this if your not a fiercely private person. That''s ok. I have a hard time understanding people that are open books to casual acquaintances. Am I that secretive with the people I''m close to? Of course not. There are a couple of coworkers that are in another building that I''m very close to, and they all know my age.

Interestingly enough, until yesterday, I never actually sat and pondered the fact that I''m secretive about my age. It was never a conscious decision....just how I am. So then I got to thinking about all the reasons that I am that way.

Another reason I came up with was the fact that many of my coworkers know that I''m divorced. That, in conjunction with my age, usually brings about some interesting comments that I''d rather avoid. For example, the, "Oh, well - you were young. Young people do stupid things sometimes." Something along those lines. I just shrug my shoulders, and say "Yeah, I guess so." And laugh it off. But what''s really going through my head is - no I don''t think I was too young at all. We were madly in love at one time, and had a very good relationship. But he changed drastically and became emotionally abusive and obsessive. He was not the same person that I married and in a real bad way. So I walked. Heavy stuff. But it''s all that type of thing that some people (who are usually lacking in a bit of tact and social grace) just feel the need to comment about. And I''d just rather avoid it......So then I sit and type about it on a public internet forum - to be seen for all eternity.

In response to your question about being afraid that my life is too mundane? No, my friend, I''m more afraid that my life is just too interesting. Far too interesting for my age. God only knows what kind of stories I''ll have to tell by the time I''m 40! Truthfully, I wish it was a little more mundane. I like mundane.

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/26/2010 10:47:56 AM
Author: joflier

Date: 2/25/2010 8:26:21 PM
Author: Cehrabehra


I''m afraid I''m comming off as too harsh in this thread - Whitby said a lot of what I think so elegantly and tactfully. And what you said in this last line is also what I tend to think - though not so much a weakness in their character as I much as I just feel turned off. This thread has me turned off and I don''t want to feel turned off! I want to feel turned on! hahaha (okay I''m in a funny mood today)

Not at all!! I started the thread because I wanted to hear the varied opinions. Well, that and vent a little bit. I think it''s just hard for some people to understand this if your not a fiercely private person. That''s ok. I have a hard time understanding people that are open books to casual acquaintances. Am I that secretive with the people I''m close to? Of course not. There are a couple of coworkers that are in another building that I''m very close to, and they all know my age.

Interestingly enough, until yesterday, I never actually sat and pondered the fact that I''m secretive about my age. It was never a conscious decision....just how I am. So then I got to thinking about all the reasons that I am that way.

Another reason I came up with was the fact that many of my coworkers know that I''m divorced. That, in conjunction with my age, usually brings about some interesting comments that I''d rather avoid. For example, the, ''Oh, well - you were young. Young people do stupid things sometimes.'' Something along those lines. I just shrug my shoulders, and say ''Yeah, I guess so.'' And laugh it off. But what''s really going through my head is - no I don''t think I was too young at all. We were madly in love at one time, and had a very good relationship. But he changed drastically and became emotionally abusive and obsessive. He was not the same person that I married and in a real bad way. So I walked. Heavy stuff. But it''s all that type of thing that some people (who are usually lacking in a bit of tact and social grace) just feel the need to comment about. And I''d just rather avoid it......So then I sit and type about it on a public internet forum - to be seen for all eternity.

In response to your question about being afraid that my life is too mundane? No, my friend, I''m more afraid that my life is just too interesting. Far too interesting for my age. God only knows what kind of stories I''ll have to tell by the time I''m 40! Truthfully, I wish it was a little more mundane. I like mundane.

Joflier, I love your outlook in life. You always sound positively radiant in your posts! Hope you had a great birthday y''day.

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/26/2010 10:51:26 AM
Author: kama_s

Joflier, I love your outlook in life. You always sound positively radiant in your posts! Hope you had a great birthday y''day.

Aw, thank you Kama.

Truthfully, my day mostly went downhill from there. But, oh well. It''s just a day, and today is a new one. And if that doesn''t pan out - there''s always tomorrow!

 

[kama_s]

Date: 2/26/2010 10:57:10 AM
Author: joflier

Date: 2/26/2010 10:51:26 AM
Author: kama_s

Joflier, I love your outlook in life. You always sound positively radiant in your posts! Hope you had a great birthday y''day.

Aw, thank you Kama.

Truthfully, my day mostly went downhill from there. But, oh well. It''s just a day, and today is a new one. And if that doesn''t pan out - there''s always tomorrow!

Aw, sorry to hear that. Birthdays are over-rated anyways. I always hated mine as a kid. But then again, I was a weird kid! Wishing you a happy day after birthday!

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/26/2010 10:58:52 AM
Author: kama_s

Date: 2/26/2010 10:57:10 AM
Author: joflier

Aw, thank you Kama.

Truthfully, my day mostly went downhill from there. But, oh well. It''s just a day, and today is a new one. And if that doesn''t pan out - there''s always tomorrow!

Aw, sorry to hear that. Birthdays are over-rated anyways. I always hated mine as a kid. But then again, I was a weird kid! Wishing you a happy day after birthday!

Tru-dat!

 

[susimoo]

Happy Birthday.

I turned 40 on 30.12.09 and it didn''t bother me one bit. I still feel like me. I still feel like I did at 19 only with more confidence, more money, a husband and beautiful daughter and a tad more wrinkles.

Hell, I still watch TV and say "wow thats a cool occupation, I''ll do that when I grow up!!"

When that will be is anyone''s guess.

 

[susimoo]

Kama

Me too! I used to always get joint birthday and Christmas gifts!

Now that sucks!!!!

 

[vip0802]

happy (belated) birthday joflier!!! i hope you enjoyed your day and that it got better for you in the end.

i''m not protective about my age at all, but i think it''s because my mother and grandmother weren''t either. then again they both look like their 20 years younger then they really are. i''ll be 30 this year and i still get carded for R-rated movies.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

Now that my college graduatre

daughter is home for good, we are out and about together often. People have said, "THAT isn''t your daughter? You''re sisters right?" I LOVE people like that and I have a 4yr old daughter as well who looks so much like her big sister so people used to think she was the baby mama....but when people say something kind(and believe me, at 46 with five kids, I NEED it) I always joke back and say, "Well, ya haven''t seen me naked". That cracks them up and I must admit I never take compliments too well.
My mom is 74 looks 50 and acts 40! so I get it honestly

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Happy Birthday to you!!
I am pretty open about my age when asked. Most people think that I am younger and are shocked when they find out my real age anyway

 

[atroop711]

Date: 2/25/2010 2:11:37 PM
Author: whitby_2773

Date: 2/25/2010 2:07:53 PM

Author: atroop711

Happy BDAY!!!



I don''t hide my age. I''m 41 and will be 42 in May. Doesn''t bother me...I''m told I look younger than my age. Even if I wanted to hide my age, my children ALWAYS OUT ME

yes my dear, but you''re beautiful. if i were you, i''d be telling my age to complete strangers on the street!

awww dear friend...thank you so much!

 

[Cehrabehra]

I really appreciated your post, J. It was more forthcoming than I expected and of course I like that

I think a lot of things in life have varying impacts depending on how you view them. I can look at my own life in one very real way and think it''s nothing but boring mundane stuff - nothing truly extraordinary... but I can look at the same life and break it down into dozens of momentous events. What I am focused on at the time can swing the difference.

I also, like whitby, believe in diffusing the powerful and potentially corrupting things by being absolutely frank about them. When I was 9-13 I had a stepfather who was a tremendously abusive alcoholic and now it is hard for me to even say that I was abused. At the time the trauma was personality changing. During the years it occurred I hid inside of myself, never invited anyone over to our house, never talked about it. Hid all of it and it was huge stuff. Huge embarrassing mortifying stuff that was a big secret. I am not sure exactly when I started opening up about it, but it wasn''t long after it ended and we were free of him. And I realized the more I spoke about it the less hold it had on me... the less power he still had on me... the more free of it all I really was. Now, 25+ years later I don''t even feel like I was ever abused. I remember the events and by all definition it would be severe abuse, but I don''t *feel* that way anymore because it''s all been diffused. I look at him as a sad and pathetic drunk. Like most drunks he had a good side buried under layers of alcohol. I don''t see him as a villain anymore, I see him as abused by his own self and taking me along for the ride. I can talk freely about any aspect of it without an iota of hesitation. I don''t go around talking about it because it is generally not pertinent to the discussion, but it isn''t the secret it once was. In fact it has been a bridge in so many ways - a useful tool you could say. I remember when it held great power over me and it doesn''t now..

... but you are not claiming that anything has power over you so much as that holding it gives you power? I''m trying to understand lol I just blabbed that whole thing and then at the end came to the conclusion I don''t have a clue what I''m talking about lol

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/26/2010 10:38:23 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I really appreciated your post, J. It was more forthcoming than I expected and of course I like that

I think a lot of things in life have varying impacts depending on how you view them. I can look at my own life in one very real way and think it''s nothing but boring mundane stuff - nothing truly extraordinary... but I can look at the same life and break it down into dozens of momentous events. What I am focused on at the time can swing the difference.

I also, like whitby, believe in diffusing the powerful and potentially corrupting things by being absolutely frank about them. When I was 9-13 I had a stepfather who was a tremendously abusive alcoholic and now it is hard for me to even say that I was abused. At the time the trauma was personality changing. During the years it occurred I hid inside of myself, never invited anyone over to our house, never talked about it. Hid all of it and it was huge stuff. Huge embarrassing mortifying stuff that was a big secret. I am not sure exactly when I started opening up about it, but it wasn''t long after it ended and we were free of him. And I realized the more I spoke about it the less hold it had on me... the less power he still had on me... the more free of it all I really was. Now, 25+ years later I don''t even feel like I was ever abused. I remember the events and by all definition it would be severe abuse, but I don''t *feel* that way anymore because it''s all been diffused. I look at him as a sad and pathetic drunk. Like most drunks he had a good side buried under layers of alcohol. I don''t see him as a villain anymore, I see him as abused by his own self and taking me along for the ride. I can talk freely about any aspect of it without an iota of hesitation. I don''t go around talking about it because it is generally not pertinent to the discussion, but it isn''t the secret it once was. In fact it has been a bridge in so many ways - a useful tool you could say. I remember when it held great power over me and it doesn''t now..

... but you are not claiming that anything has power over you so much as that holding it gives you power? I''m trying to understand lol I just blabbed that whole thing and then at the end came to the conclusion I don''t have a clue what I''m talking about lol

Lol - your funny.
That is quite a story. And how incredible it must be, to be able to look backwards and say to yourself, "I have overcome!" I would guess that to be liberating and triumphant. Good for you!

i agree with what you said about focus. It''s true that something that may be monumental or defining at the time, may soon enough become small and insignificant. No, I can''t say that there''s any particular thing that has power over me. I am me because of a congolmaration of things, both past and present. Like anyone - the things that just simply define your person and character. Will I always be so private? Perhaps - it''s always been my nature. Hard to say. On the other hand - it would be nice for me to have the ability (or willingness and ease) of opening up more. And maybe yes, it is a control thing. Or maybe just simple trust. I don''t easily trust people. And I''ll go back to my coworkers. There are many of them that I completely distrust. Their nice and friendly people. Probably well intentioned. But there have been circumstances that have led me to just plain ole NOT trust them. Hence my keeping everything at surface level. But when I do trust someone - I trust them all the way. With anything. That doesn''t mean it''s easy for me to open up. But that''s a work in progress.

Yet interestingly enough, people seem to trust me quite easily and quickly. I can''t tell you how many people have just more or less bared their souls to me. I know the skeletons hanging in sooo many closets, it''s not even funny. Quite ironic, that the private person that doesn''t share too much personal info knows so many other people''s secrets.

 

[partgypsy]

Until recently I've never given a whit about my age or concern about my looks regarding aging, perhaps as I was a year younger than most people in school, and looked fresh faced (carded when 35, check). Probably getting off the subject but hitting 43 this year, and especially after having my second child, feel time is finally catching up with me! I don't want to go the Pam Anderson route, but something may be in order (color hair, makeup, pluck eyebrows?). That or get back more intensively into yoga to put me back into the state of noncaring

. I've also been thinking about this because I still feel I'm not sure what I want to DO with my life, in that I feel there are multiple things that make me happy and go with the flow of what is working now, versus having some over arching plan. And I think, that's ok when you are 25, aren't I supposed to have it figured out by now?

Joflier I wouldn't be concerned at all that you are younger than most at work, I would think it would be a mark of extra maturity and competence. Ageism however, I would be more concerned about, especially as older workers typically have more seniority/fat salaries to cut.

 

[Imdanny]

I don''t really care what other people think about my age but I''m kind of shocked by it sometimes.

 

[ksinger]

Date: 2/27/2010 3:32:06 AM
Author: Imdanny
I don''t really care what other people think about my age but I''m kind of shocked by it sometimes.

LOL! Oh, I''m with you on that! I wonder at times how I woke up this old!

I don''t have a problem with my age, or having people know it. I mean, it is what it is, why hide it? Like others have mentioned, I don''t go up and say, "Hi! I''m ksinger and I''m 47 years old.", but I don''t look 30 and I clearly don''t talk like I''m 30, so why lie? It''s hard to fudge on age, when your adult memory is measured in multiple decades, and you start talking in decades - when you recall something that happened in 1982, and realize that the person you''re talking to wasn''t even BORN until 1986. It does start to feel though, like you''re a young person in an old-person suit. I don''t try to act overtly young, but I do think the young 20-somethings I work around are a bit taken aback at times. In a lot of instances, it''s their first real job - working with people their parents age as equals. I don''t think we older people are quite what they expected. We all have such odd images of older people when we''re young. We think people of x age are a certain way. But they aren''t.

I do think turning 50 will feel like..something though. Forty didn''t faze me at all, but 50 is going to be...different I think. I let you know. I might start lying about my age then...

 

[MissMina]

My mother drilled into me in childhood that "A lady never tells her age". I don''t know why she feels that way. But it sure had an impact on me.
I have always looked younger than my years and it became clear early on that younger men were attracted to me.
Suddenly Mom''s philosophy seemed to make a lot of sense.I entered the realm of "Don''t tell if they don''t ask".In my twenty or so years of dating life only one man was older than I and he was sixteen years older (Another story for another time) Most were about ten years younger. I remember one night the doorman at a club where I presented my thirty something self, looking at me then at my ID and yelling out 19**!!!!
I went on to marry a younger man, Have a child in my mid thirties before it was common, divorce and have an eight year relationship with a man fourteen years my junior
who eventually left me for much younger Ukrainian "mail
order bride".(Best thing he ever did)
Somewhere along the way I stopped caring if people knew But
I didn''t fully realize it till we had our "over 50 thread"
and I posted my age.
Mom, though now knocking on the door of ninety, keeps mum.

 

[partgypsy]

Ksinger I hear you! I think when I hit 50 that''s when I''ll keep celebrating my "39th" birthday.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 2/25/2010 12:57:38 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I could care less about my age or the fact that I''m turning 30 in one month and seven days...not that I''m counting or anything....

HH I just turned 30 - 5 days ago it is not that bad I daresay I kinda even like it

I personally am not secretive of my age I tell people how old I am most are shocked and think I look significantly younger then I am whether they are being nice as a collective or not I don''t know - the people who have seen my pic may be able to comment .

The way I see it I am lucky enough to have won the geographic lottery where being my age is still considered young.

And Happy Birthday Jo

 

[HollyS]

Oh, honey . . . if that were my only problem at work . . . I''d do cartwheels down the hall.


Remember when I posted a couple of weeks ago about my craptastic Monday? Well, that evening I stayed late at work uncovering the evidence of my employee''s theft. She''s long gone now, we''ve hired someone who won''t start for another two weeks, and I''ve been doing EVERYTHING myself. Six days a week. Ten hours a day.

Not only do I not have a ''mysterious'' persona, I''ve been a bit bitchy in the personality department due to mega stress.

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/27/2010 5:30:21 PM
Author: HollyS
Oh, honey . . . if that were my only problem at work . . . I''d do cartwheels down the hall.


Remember when I posted a couple of weeks ago about my craptastic Monday? Well, that evening I stayed late at work uncovering the evidence of my employee''s theft. She''s long gone now, we''ve hired someone who won''t start for another two weeks, and I''ve been doing EVERYTHING myself. Six days a week. Ten hours a day.

Not only do I not have a ''mysterious'' persona, I''ve been a bit bitchy in the personality department due to mega stress.

We could trade for 2 weeks, if you want.... I''m a workaholic, so the hours would be cool with me. And then you can chill out and be quirky and mysterious for awhile.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I am not sure why but turning 29 and 39 was hard... turning 30 was easy, like a clean slate and I already feel like 40 will be pretty easy. I wonder why the year prior is so hard... like a swansong of my 20''s or my 30''s.... anyone else feel like that?

 

[joflier]

Date: 2/28/2010 6:32:46 AM
Author: Cehrabehra
I am not sure why but turning 29 and 39 was hard... turning 30 was easy, like a clean slate and I already feel like 40 will be pretty easy. I wonder why the year prior is so hard... like a swansong of my 20''s or my 30''s.... anyone else feel like that?

My sil just turned 29, and she had a little bit of a hard time with it. She said it was just the thought of her final year in her 20s...

 

[reader]

I am a fan of the meme where you compare your age to the table of elements, and state the element as your age. I turn Krypton on Monday.

 

[jas]

This is a fascinating thread. I was always "young" for whatever I was doing...started school as the youngest in my grade, graduated high school at 17, graduated college at 20, was always the youngest at work by 10 years for 10 years...

Then I hit my 30s and this wasn''t so. I changed careers, and now at the ripe age of, uh ribidium (thank you, reader

) I am at least 10 years older than my cohorts. They look at me like I should be hanging out at the "Health Aids" aisle of Walgreens. I had my first children at 35 and loved hearing I was of advanced maternal age. And by "loved" I mean "balked."

Fortunately, as someone who has eschewed sun for most of her life, I tend to shock people when I tell them I''m 37. I do hate hearing, "God, I hope I look that good when I''m 37" from the 23 year olds, but that''s more ego than anything else.

I''ve always FELT older. I never had that period in my "youth" of doing things indiscriminately, silly things, reckless things. We were pretty aged by my mother, who crammed a lot of somber thoughts into 17 years of childhood. So I still feel like I did at 25, but I''m sure my outlook at 25 was weighted more towards 37.

I never shy away from telling people my age, but they are always surprised...always have been.

 

[April20]

I am not protective about my age at all. Unless I think that I should have been carded! I mean, come on, do I really look that much older that you don''t need to double check just to be sure?