atroop711
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2005
- Messages
- 2,844
Date: 2/25/2010 12:54:02 PM
Author: monarch64
Nah, I''m not protective of my age at all. To me, being guarded about it is giving others control.
Date: 2/25/2010 2:07:53 PM
Author: atroop711
Happy BDAY!!!
I don''t hide my age. I''m 41 and will be 42 in May. Doesn''t bother me...I''m told I look younger than my age. Even if I wanted to hide my age, my children ALWAYS OUT ME![]()
Interesting story about your folks.....Got me thinking. I''m not insecure about our age difference. At least, I don''t think I am. But he is. So I guess maybe I''m being protective about it for his feelings. And I guess I really don''t have to, being he''s the one that spilled the beans.Date: 2/25/2010 2:09:29 PM
Author: whitby_2773
Date: 2/25/2010 12:54:02 PM
Author: monarch64
Nah, I''m not protective of my age at all. To me, being guarded about it is giving others control.
this. exactly. to me, ''age'' is like ''name'' - so what? personally, i value openness, and don''t much see the point of mystery at work. i think, too, if there''s a big diff between the ages of you and your SO, it''s much more likely to give rise to gossip and speculation behind your back if you keep that information obviously hidden than if you were simply up front about it as tho it was no big deal. but if what you want is just to remain completely shrouded and unknown - i dont know - most people like a degree of cohesion when they have much to do with another person, and walls against even common sharing of info can put people on the back foot. i actually think being mysterious and ''concealed'' gives rise to curiosity, rather than the reverse; i tend to share info as a way of damping down interest.
to give some small context - my mother was 12 years older than my father - at a time when this was VERY unusual. she tried to keep this info hidden as long as i knew her, and i always thought it was odd and kind of..i dont know - ''not proud''? i dont mean humble - i mean more...as tho her age had somehow sort of beaten her into a corner. she was hugely successful in many areas of her life, but this one issue seemed to me to have the better of her.
i certainly wouldn''t lead with ''hi - my name''s joflier and i''m 27 (or whatever) years old'' - but i think giving people basic information about ourselves if we have ongoing contact with them is sort of a mark of trust, which indicates respect. it also says we''re ok with who we are.
and so what if you''re young compared to your level of success - this is the professional holy grail, no? tell people your age and, if they seem surprised, say with a big smile ''yes, i am a wunderkind; it''s my cross to bear.''
as regards sharing my age with people as i get older... i was very ill for some months in my early 30''s and almost died. to me, each year is now like a triumph.
i''m 49 - YAY!
Date: 2/25/2010 2:49:43 PM
Author: joflier
Interesting story about your folks.....Got me thinking. I'm not insecure about our age difference. At least, I don't think I am. But he is. So I guess maybe I'm being protective about it for his feelings. And I guess I really don't have to, being he's the one that spilled the beans.
Date: 2/25/2010 2:49:43 PM
Author: joflier
Interesting story about your folks.....Got me thinking. I''m not insecure about our age difference. At least, I don''t think I am. But he is. So I guess maybe I''m being protective about it for his feelings. And I guess I really don''t have to, being he''s the one that spilled the beans.Date: 2/25/2010 2:09:29 PM
Author: whitby_2773
Date: 2/25/2010 12:54:02 PM
Author: monarch64
Nah, I''m not protective of my age at all. To me, being guarded about it is giving others control.
this. exactly. to me, ''age'' is like ''name'' - so what? personally, i value openness, and don''t much see the point of mystery at work. i think, too, if there''s a big diff between the ages of you and your SO, it''s much more likely to give rise to gossip and speculation behind your back if you keep that information obviously hidden than if you were simply up front about it as tho it was no big deal. but if what you want is just to remain completely shrouded and unknown - i dont know - most people like a degree of cohesion when they have much to do with another person, and walls against even common sharing of info can put people on the back foot. i actually think being mysterious and ''concealed'' gives rise to curiosity, rather than the reverse; i tend to share info as a way of damping down interest.
to give some small context - my mother was 12 years older than my father - at a time when this was VERY unusual. she tried to keep this info hidden as long as i knew her, and i always thought it was odd and kind of..i dont know - ''not proud''? i dont mean humble - i mean more...as tho her age had somehow sort of beaten her into a corner. she was hugely successful in many areas of her life, but this one issue seemed to me to have the better of her.
i certainly wouldn''t lead with ''hi - my name''s joflier and i''m 27 (or whatever) years old'' - but i think giving people basic information about ourselves if we have ongoing contact with them is sort of a mark of trust, which indicates respect. it also says we''re ok with who we are.
and so what if you''re young compared to your level of success - this is the professional holy grail, no? tell people your age and, if they seem surprised, say with a big smile ''yes, i am a wunderkind; it''s my cross to bear.''
as regards sharing my age with people as i get older... i was very ill for some months in my early 30''s and almost died. to me, each year is now like a triumph.
i''m 49 - YAY!
Cuz it''ll make things much more interesting when I write my memoir.Date: 2/25/2010 8:04:40 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Oh god no - I am not at all protective about my age. But I also have no aspirations to be a woman of mystery. My life is an open book and I like it that way. I like being authentic and letting it all hang out. I''ll be 40 in May and whether that is young or old to someone makes no difference at all on my reality. I kinda prefer to relish in my reality rather than hide it. If you are young and brilliant - why not let it be known? If there is an age gap in your relationship - who cares? Are you ashamed of it? Then what does it matter? Why do you want to be mysterious? Do you secretly fear you are too mundane?
Date: 2/25/2010 4:28:53 PM
Author: waterlilly
Happy B-day!
I honestly will never understand why anyone would lie or hide their age - why do that??! Be proud of who you are!
I have a friend that lies and doesn''t know I know her real age. I''m so annoyed by it but don''t say anything. I''d love for her to just be honest. So fricken what she is 8 years older than the rest of us in our group, I just want to shake her her say ''be proud of it and share that life experience with us instead of pretending!''
Anytime anyone refuses to tell their age, I instantly look at them differently - it''s like they''ve revealed this big weakness in their character or something.
lmao!! See? you have too much good personality - don''t be mysterious! ::footstomp::Date: 2/25/2010 8:06:38 PM
Author: joflier
Cuz it''ll make things much more interesting when I write my memoir.Date: 2/25/2010 8:04:40 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Oh god no - I am not at all protective about my age. But I also have no aspirations to be a woman of mystery. My life is an open book and I like it that way. I like being authentic and letting it all hang out. I''ll be 40 in May and whether that is young or old to someone makes no difference at all on my reality. I kinda prefer to relish in my reality rather than hide it. If you are young and brilliant - why not let it be known? If there is an age gap in your relationship - who cares? Are you ashamed of it? Then what does it matter? Why do you want to be mysterious? Do you secretly fear you are too mundane?![]()