Wedding Are STDs necessary?

[brooklyngirl]

Hello everyone

FI and I just booked our venue this past weekend, and we''ll be getting married January 11, 2009. Since the wedding is about 6 months away, I was wondering if it was necessary to send save the dates. I wonder if it isn''t easier to just send invitations early (within the next month) and have the guests rsvp by the 2 or 3 month mark. What do you think?

 

[ladyciel]

Hmmmm. I think it depends on your group of guests (do many of them have to travel, or are they very social people with busy schedules?) whether or not STDs are really necessary. I would advise against the 2-3month RSVP deadline, though. For some people it can be very hard to commit to something that far in advance due to other work, family, etc commitments, so you might get some unnecessary declines or RSVP''d yes no-shows/last-minute cancellations. Maybe send out a mass e-mail giving everyone a heads up on the date?

 

[purrfectpear]

You know you aren''t thinking bridal when you see a title "Are STD''s necessary" and your first thought is "not if you practice safe sex"

 

[Haven]

Hey Brooklyn! We didn''t send out save-the-dates, and we''re marrying on a holiday! (THIS Friday the 4th of July, actually!)

We realized that all of our friends and family already knew the date, anyway, so sending save-the-dates would have been silly. I would only send them if you have a large group of invitees who either do not know about your upcoming wedding, or who must travel a far distance to make it.

 

[musey]

It seems like in your case, it might indeed be easier/better to send the invitations within the next month instead of doing save-the-dates and THEN invitations. But I agree with ladyciel... why would you ask them to RSVP earlier than is normal?

Keep in mind that save-the-dates and invitations can take awhile to go from picking them out to the mail, depending on what you choose. We had about a 4-week turnaround for both to be ordered, printed, and on our doorstep. After that you have to do all the addressing of envelopes, etc. So ''within the next month'' is only going to happen if you order them within the next couple of days.

That''s unless you go the fill-in-the-blank route with pre-printed invited from a store like target/walmart.

 

[musey]

Date: 6/30/2008 11:57:37 AM
Author: Haven
We realized that all of our friends and family already knew the date, anyway, so sending save-the-dates would have been silly. I would only send them if you have a large group of invitees who either do not know about your upcoming wedding, or who must travel a far distance to make it.

Ditto. This is why we had to send them, as 90% of our guest list is out-of-town (and not all of these people are close enough to know about the wedding without us calling them specifically to fill them in).

Though a mass email would've worked, too. I just really liked the save-the-date I found, and thought it would make a fun memento, more than anything else!

 

[april diamonds]

Our wedding was 10 months from when we got engaged but instead of STD we just spread the word. We told all of our friends and my mother took care of the rest! (Within two weeks almost everyone who got an invite had been told the date already!) And we invited about 200 people (120 showed up).

I don''t think STD''s are ever really necessary. But it''s a fun thing to have. If you don''t want to do them, no one will be like "how come we never got a STD? that was so rude."

I do admit though, that I was sad I wasn''t able to do another DIY project to make some cute STDs. haha

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

We didn''t do save the dates and we are sending out our invitations 2 months before the wedding. Here was why we did it that way:

Its a waste of money and paper that cuts down trees and craps up the enviroment, which I am working really hard to avoid with the wedding

The people we cared about knew when it would be

The people we don''t really care about we are inviting for FI''s mom, but would prefer they don''t come and this makes that more of a possibility

In all the weddings I have been invited to, only one sent a save the date, so to me it, it really doesn''t seem like an issue

 

[amy_dub]

Date: 6/30/2008 2:05:22 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
We didn''t do save the dates and we are sending out our invitations 2 months before the wedding. Here was why we did it that way:

Its a waste of money and paper that cuts down trees and craps up the enviroment, which I am working really hard to avoid with the wedding

The people we cared about knew when it would be

The people we don''t really care about we are inviting for FI''s mom, but would prefer they don''t come and this makes that more of a possibility

In all the weddings I have been invited to, only one sent a save the date, so to me it, it really doesn''t seem like an issue

I agree with Brazen. I''ve been to many weddings and never got a save the date. They are cute, and i''ve seen some I really like (small magnets for your frige) but they really seem like an extra expense. I would have only needed to send about 10-15 of them, and all of those people are family that are already going to be at the wedding, so it just seemed like overkill.

 

[zoebartlett]

I don''t think save the dates are necessary. We did them since most of my family and some of our friends are OOT, but I would have been fine skipping them.

On another note, I know you were having difficulty findina venue that both you, your FI, and your families liked. What did you choose?

 

[choro72]

I did a mass email. We did it last week, waaaay too early, and people will probably forget about it when the time comes, but it gave me a peace of mind to announce it to everyone. Actually, for some people it was how they found out that we were engaged.

 

[HollyS]

Necessary? Nope. Didn''t use them. For a small event, I''d say they are a big waste of $$. Maybe okay for a big wedding that''s still several months away.

Some people just love all the ''stuff'' associated with weddings. STDs, DIY invitations complete with hand-stampling and ribbon tying, personalized (and expensive) favors, sparklers vs. bubbles, etc. Me? I saw them as stress inducers. Personally, I kept things pretty low key; no place cards for reception tables even! Hey, there were only 11 tables!

 

[ljsmith001]

Just send out Save the Dates! There are so many cute (affordable) options and that way people will stick them on their fridge and never forget about your big day coming up!! A site to check out (where I got mine) is: www.weddingpaperdivas.com. I ordered 75 Save the Dates and it only ended up costing me around 80 dollars and I got the perfect colors to go with my scheme! By the way, our weddings are SO close.. we wanted to stay in 08, so we are 12/27!

Good luck!

 

[brooklyngirl]

ladyciel - Only a few of our guests have to travel, and those that do already know the wedding date. In fact, I think 90% of the guests already know the date -- our parents called almost everyone to tell them the news. I see your point about the RSVP deadline. That deadline is not set in stone, so I can have them respond a month in advance. I just wasn''t sure what''s proper for a wedding.

purrfectpear - I LOL''d. I also wondered what STDs were when I stumbled on upon this forum

Haven - It looks like the same is the case with our friends and family.

musey - We already picked the invitations, and those take 5 days to print. I think we''re the only ones attending the wedding who have to come in from out of town

, so no worries with that.

April Diamonds, BIH - I think we''ll be foregoing STDs, even though I found really cute ones. I can spend STD money on SHOES

What do you guys think of these invitations, too plain? http://theinvitationdepot.cceasy.com/order/CasPage1B.cfm?sEnsembleCode=CasEns03591&page=4&strcontinue=yes&strsearch=no&format=WIACasEnsDT26

P.S. I just noticed that instead of a wavey I have a clappy icon -- now it looks like i''m clapping for myself

 

[brooklyngirl]

amy_dub - FI thinks STDs are overkill for our wedding. It''s going to be rather small (120 people, including children). Most of the people are close relatives, and since we''re 6 months away, we''d have to send invites right after mailing out STDs.

ZoeBartlett - Hey Zoe! We ended up going w/ the venue FI liked. I have since warmed up to it, and I think it would be perfect for a winter wonderland wedding

. http://www.the-renaissance.com/

choro72 - The mass email is a great idea, but most of our family is older, don''t particularly speak english, and have computers. Some do, but by far not all.

HollyS - Wow, you really kept it low key. We have about 11 or 12 tables also. I''m definitely not a fan of all the stuff that comes along with weddings. I''m trying to convince FI not to have party favors, or if we must have them, that they be edible (mmm... cookies).

ljsmith001 - I did see a couple of really cute ones magnets that I thought would be adorable to send to everyone. I''m thinking maybe I can order a couple and send them to our parents and the bridal party so that they can go on their fridges to have as a momento of the day.

 

[zoebartlett]

Wow, the venue is GORGEOUS! I love it, and it''s good that you''re warming up to it. Will the ceremony be inside as well? I couldn''t tell if the ceremony and reception are in the same room or not.

 

[jcrow]

we didn''t do stds. 90% of the guests were out of towners..but with 100 guests, the word spreads just fine and we really didn''t have the need to send them out.

 

[amy_dub]

Date: 6/30/2008 4:45:36 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
amy_dub - FI thinks STDs are overkill for our wedding. It''s going to be rather small (120 people, including children). Most of the people are close relatives, and since we''re 6 months away, we''d have to send invites right after mailing out STDs.

It would be the same for me. As soon as I sent out STDs, I''d be sending invitations too. We''re looking at roughly 100 people at our wedding, including the wedding party and parents, so putting the $80 for STDs and postage towards something else made the decision all that easier.

 

[peridot83]

You need someway to tell out of towners on your guest list that they are invited at least 4 months (if not more if it's x-mas time etc.) before the wedding in a way that minimizes follow up (i.e. what day is it again? what time is it again? is it far from the airport?):

You can call them & relay the information. But if they're flaky or irresponsible they will forget to write it down. Then they will call/ e-mail to ask for info when booking flights etc. If it's hundreds of people, this seems cumbersome

You can e-mail them something. But some people are flaky about their e-mail or are not internet savvy.

You can mail them something.

That's how I always saw the logic of STDs. But if you're sending the invitations out early enough that people can make travel plans not a bit deal. The only downside I see to this is what above posters mentioned: sending out invites extra early encourages people to forget to send the invites back, or have to back out of attending at a later date.

 

[brooklyngirl]

Thanks Zoe! We''re having the ceremony there as well, but it will be in a different room -- well they have those retractable walls that section off the room. I''m getting pretty excited now that the place has been booked, and the dress has been bought