Another drinking thread....advice requested

[Tacori E-ring]

My friend says they enjoy drinking but the SO is so "disgusted" by the binge-drinking that the SO does not want the relationship to continue, does not want to be with an alcoholic. My friend wants to be with the SO and so is willing to quit. They also say that bc they've never had, in the past, anyone to care for them or whom they care for; but "this time it is different" bc they want to be "healthy, happy together" with the SO. I understand the SO really likes my friend too but is looking beyond the present and more towards the future and doesn't see a future with this person.

Well she needs to have a really solid relapse prevention plan if she wants to be successful. I think most people get sober because of external factors. In the end the ones that stay sober, do it for themselves. I think it is REALLY difficult to find recovery without help. I would also suggest she makes sure she does not need to detox in a medical facility. Alcohol withdrawals are extremely dangerous and it sounds like she was a very heavy drinker. Cold turkey is not the way to go with alcohol.

 

[Phoenix]

Thank you, @cmd2014, @junebug17, @elle_71125 and @Tacori E-ring , for your input.

I shall wait and see how my friend is doing. They seem to be doing well, lost a bunch of weight, gained a bunch of muscles, looking really good..... There's a mini-test/ hurdle if you will coming up when this person is flying in a few weeks' time. There will be lots of free alcohol on this flight, so let's see how they fare. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for them.

 

[Arkteia]

Well she needs to have a really solid relapse prevention plan if she wants to be successful. I think most people get sober because of external factors. In the end the ones that stay sober, do it for themselves. I think it is REALLY difficult to find recovery without help. I would also suggest she makes sure she does not need to detox in a medical facility. Alcohol withdrawals are extremely dangerous and it sounds like she was a very heavy drinker. Cold turkey is not the way to go with alcohol.

I think this is an excellent advice. Also, often binge drinking is a symptom of unrecognized depression (any pattern of cyclical behavior makes you think). And then, of course, untreated depression would lead to more drinking.
A good CD counsellor, especially with own history of prior drinking experience, and successful remission for decades, could help a lot. AA is helpful, and spouse or partner could go to Al Anon.
Medications are perhaps out of the realm of this discussion, but I wanted to mention one more thing which was popular in Russia. Hypnosis. Geared towards stopping drinking. It does not work for everyone, but some have seen amazing results.

 

[valeria101]

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I wouldn't know what best to do but believe in their new life together - obviously, this is the life of each of them too, so neither is taking up change either for themselves, or for the other (who can tell !).