Angy and Sourpuss man... :(

[Amethyste]

I was on my way back from work.... It is 95F outside and sunny. If you are not moving, you are burning up. On the corner of a light there was this older man standing next to a bicycle, holding a sign "Will work fer Food". He was all red in the face, as if you spend the last 3 days in the hot burning sun. I didn't see any water with him... so I flipped a U-turn and went to the gas station to get him something to drink and to eat. So I got him some water, apple juice, a turkey sandwich and a bag of pretzels. I pay the cashier and was on my way to give the bag to him...

I parked my car next to the light and was walking toward the man. I smiled and said:

"Hello there, this sun is scorching hot! Would you care for some food and water?"

"You "****" idiot - can't you "****" read? My sign says that I will work for food, not get food for free."

"I.... did read your sign, I have no work for you, I am sorry.. I am going to leave the food here on the ground ( next to the light post ), please take it."

I was pretty baffled by his rudeness... But as I was walking back toward my car, he ran to the bag, and KICKED it!!! So hard that the bottle of water cracked open and splattered all over my back, hair and shoes with the apple juice bottle missing me by several inches. Scared the living daylights out of me!!!!
A woman saw what happened, and asked me if I was ok, she wanted to call the police but I said no. She smiled at me, and said "Well, no wonder why he's jobless" ... Then yelled at the man to get the "h*ll" out of here before she calls the cops...

I am still shocked at what happened... i thought I was helping out someone that needed a little something. Maybe I pi$$ed him off by my gesture that could have come across as "pity".
I think next time, I'll turn this gesture into providing to the Animal shelter. At least, the anomals wont come hissing at me if I get them some food

 

[radiantquest]

I can''t believe that! I am *speechless*.

I know that it sounds crazy, but it may be a pride thing. Will not accept handouts. At any rate there was no reason to be rude. I don''t think he could have been any nastier. I mean if it was a pride thing then the least he could have done was wait until you left and give it away or whatever, but to kick it and be rude is uncalled for. If I had went out of my way and then was treated like that I would have cried!

 

[dianne]

I am so stunned as I read this. How scary for you! And what a nut he is! Even if he didn''t want it, which makes no sense, really...especially the water after standing in the hot sun, he did not have to be such a jerk. And, you know, he could have hurt you if one of those containers hit you in the head or face.

How crazy! And I am so sorry your nice gesture was met with such viciousness.

 

[kenny]

I''m sorry you had to experience it.
He is most likely mentally ill.

I give to charities but would never interact with strangers on the street like that.

 

[neatfreak]

I''ve had similar (but not as drastic!) experiences. I won''t give $, but will give food. And more than once I have had someone say something nasty about whether I could read the sign that they wanted MONEY (well excuse ME but your sign says spare a quarter for FOOD) and wouldn''t take my food either!

Poor man...he must be mentally ill...nothing else could explain that reaction to a kind gesture.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Sorry for your experience Amethyst. It was sweet of you to be so kind. Clearly the man has mental problems. Years back a homeless man chased me down a street in downtown Seattle. I gave him change and he got up and ran after me yelling that I hadn't given enough!

Often people come up to me and I do not offer assistance because who knows what will happen if I bring my wallet out. Will the person grab it and run? Once I saw a guy casing my car and then as I walked toward it (him not knowing it was my car), he came up and hounded me for "bus fare." It's always bus fare for some reason.

All I give is food bank and school supply drive items. I try and be generous in the best way I know how.

 

[trillionaire]

Oh my! That''s awful! I frequently buy food and drink for the homeless, I never give them money. I can''t imagine what I would think or do if this happened to me. Though I must say, I would continue to give. I could see a hungry frightened dog lashing out as someone just as easily as a person, not even taking mental illness into account.

Crazy, crazy world...

 

[MissGotRocks]

He may be mentally ill but if you are standing on a street corner with a sign you should have the good grace to accept what is given to you.

I''m sorry that this happened but certainly applaud your efforts. I don''t think I would ever be so ugly as to remind people that I wanted money not food - work for food not handed out food - give me a break! You are asking for ''charity'' and when you get what you ask for, you say thank you.

It''s no wonder that people are so reluctant to help. I know if he has mental issues that he probaby isn''t totally responsible for his actions but still. . . yikes!

 

[tigian]

That must have been so scary. I''m sorry you had such a reaction to your kind gesture. He is probably mentally unstable.

 

[Amethyste]

Thank you Ali for editing my post - I was still in shock when I wrote this and used terrible language. My appologies for whoever read my potty mouth

I should have waited to be more composed before typing this...

I am still surprised at the reaction of the man and his words, as many of you have said, he probably has some mental issues...

some people just do not want to be helped and obviously, he was one of them. I am still upset and now I feel that a bruise is starting to grow where the bottle of water hit me in the back

Tylenol PM I will see you tonight!!!!

Thank you all for all of the kind words - I cried on my way back... I was mostly crying cause I was in disbelief of what happened... I am better now... THank you all for listening ...

 

[phoenixgirl]

Ugh, that''s awful! I''m glad that lady was there to offer you some commiseration when it happened so you didn''t have to wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" That would make me feel a little better.

That man was either mentally ill or really, really mean, or both. Kicking the bag at you is assault. That lady is right . . . no wonder he''s jobless . . .

Remember how Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped by a homeless man her mom hired out of pity? These stories make it seem too risky to try to help the homeless directly. I feel safer going through a charity, and that way it weeds out the ones who are taking advantage, but I suppose it also weeds out the mentally ill too. It''s just a tough situation all around.

But you did nothing wrong. You have a kind heart, and your (attempted) good deed will no doubt have some positive outcome, if not for the man then for the people who witnessed it, or for you.

 

[Paz]

Date: 8/18/2009 6:05:08 PM
Author: kenny
I''m sorry you had to experience it.
He is most likely mentally ill.

I give to charities but would never interact with strangers on the street like that.

This.

A majority of homeless persons suffer from some type of mental illness or have substance abuse issues. My best friend is a social worker and works with homeless people on a regular basis. She advised me to help shelters and community programs rather than interacting with someone on an individual basis. You never know what could happen and even trained professionals have to be careful with the people they interact with on a professional basis.

I am sorry you had such a scary experience! Your intentions were obviously good, maybe the next time you see someone on the side of the road you can drop off supplies at a shelter instead.

As an aside: When donating to shelters, please remeber that personal hygiene items are needed just as much as food and clothing. My friend said that some of the most requested items at her shelter are tampons, pads, and toothbrushes.

 

[beaujolais]

Oh, you dear, wonderful person.

He really could be mentally ill.

But, this doesn't mean that your good deeds are for naught. G-- sees when people do kind things like that. Also, don't you, sort of, feel good for what you did? Good karma will come back to you, Amethyste.

Phoenix has a good point re Elizabeth Smart.

 

[oneandahalfrock]

Oh my dear- you have such a big heart; I''m sorry you had such a bag experience doing such a sweet thing.
Perhaps donations in the future would be better as some have suggested... It''s a shame, but don''t let it break your beautiful spirit...

 

[Anastasia]

Amethyste, I am so sorry for your experience. That would have really shaken me up.

I am in the same camp as Kenny. I worked in the city for many years, and I never gave money or food to street people. It always seemed too risky to me. I never felt that it was a good idea to take my wallet out in the street. Also, I would walk past the same street people every day, and I always wondered if I gave to them once, would they pester me every day after that.

Certainly your intentions were good. And I think the idea of food rather than money is a great one, especially in this heat. I always felt awful that I would just walk past these people, and basically ignore them, but I felt that I wasn''t willing to risk my own safety.

 

[Luckyeshe]

You are such a good person, Ames! I''m sorry this happens to you. I stopped giving money to homeless people a little while ago because the last time I did it, I saw the person go into a nearby gas station and go back out with beer...Now I have dog food in the car and I only give homeless people with dogs the food.

 

[gemgirl]

Amethyste, I''m so very sorry that happened to you today. What an opposite reaction than the one you would expect! I hope you''re not hurt, although a bottle of water winging itself through the air had to hurt. I''m so sorry.
As many have said, he was probably mentally disturbed and could have been suffering from heat stroke on top of that. God have mercy on his soul. He''s probably very angry at the world, lonely and somewhat scared.

You get some rest tonight and ice that back before you fall asleep.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Stuff like this is why I don''t give money or food to anyone I see on the street. Most are fairly civil where I am (thankfully, I don''t see too many once I am off the freeway exits), but I just have a hard time believing that they really NEED anything. If they needed money, then logic says they would appreciate food too - but most just want money, and it''s not being spent on food if you catch my drift.

It''s sad that the way people treat others has made me have a bitter outlook towards homeless people, but it''s still true.

 

[Shopaholic]

Oh how horrid!!! I see people holding up signs in the middle of the street out in the city here and it always tugs at my heart too! I always want to help them but many friends and DH says that I should just donate to the homeless shelters and not approach any of them directly since a lot suffer from mental illness or have some form of substance abuse, you never know what sort of reaction you will get. I''m sorry a kind soul like you had to have that kind of encounter.

 

[monarch64]

Amethyste, i''m so sorry to hear about your experience, and I hope that you are feeling better soon. Please don''t let this deter you from providing assistance in the future to the homeless. Big hugs, dear.

 

[Amethyste]

THank you all so much for your kind replies... Every one of you really touched me with your sincere caring words...

I did go for a 1 hour walk and I feel so much better, my back is fine, just tender where the bottle landed. I did some stretches and I''ll take a couple tylenols before heading to bed so I can sleep and help mend a little bit.

When this happened, I came home to an empty house ( my husband left to visit his parents to Germany ) and I had no one to really talked to about the incident... Hence this post. in light of all the traumatic events that other ladies had to go through ( like abuse etc... ) mine is pretty petty compared to their ordeals

... Thank you for the support and the friendship... I appreciate this community so much!

 

[Amethyste]

Date: 8/18/2009 9:19:18 PM
Author: monarch64
Amethyste, i''m so sorry to hear about your experience, and I hope that you are feeling better soon. Please don''t let this deter you from providing assistance in the future to the homeless. Big hugs, dear.

"Nobody really cares if you''re miserable, so you might as well be happy."

you know what Monarch?? - your statement is totally TRUE!!! I am done being miserable for myself because of this man. I am feeling much better now I have forgiven his aggressivity.... Time to move on.

 

[junebug17]

Oh, I am so sorry this happened to you, you must have been so shocked and frightened, and you didn''t deserve to be made to feel that way, what a kind thing you did for that man. As others have said, he must be mentally unbalanced to react in such a violent way. It''s a shame that we now have to worry about our safety when trying to help someone. Sending out big hugs to you, I hope you recover from this terrible experience soon!!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Amethyste, that was a very kind and humane gesture. I''m shocked at the way the man reacted...as the others have suggested, he very well may have mental problems. I would definitely have been startled too!

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 8/18/2009 9:23:10 PM
Author: Amethyste
THank you all so much for your kind replies... Every one of you really touched me with your sincere caring words...

I did go for a 1 hour walk and I feel so much better, my back is fine, just tender where the bottle landed. I did some stretches and I''ll take a couple tylenols before heading to bed so I can sleep and help mend a little bit.

When this happened, I came home to an empty house ( my husband left to visit his parents to Germany ) and I had no one to really talked to about the incident... Hence this post. in light of all the traumatic events that other ladies had to go through ( like abuse etc... ) mine is pretty petty compared to their ordeals

... Thank you for the support and the friendship... I appreciate this community so much!

I''m glad to hear you are feeling better. This is not a petty event. You put yourself out for a complete stranger, and were rewarded with verbal abuse,and having things tossed at you, hard enough to leave you sore. I''m sure that coming home to an empty house didn''t help. You really were very kind to this man, and it is very upsetting to be treated this way.

 

[Kaleigh]

What you did was so kind, and what you got in return, well he must be mentally ill. But bless you for being so generous.. I am sorry for the out come, sooo not what you deserved. But kudos for you for trying to help.... That''s all we can do right? If we turn a blind eye, that''s not right either.. Bless you, and hope you are feling better.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am sorry that this happened to you, how scary! It was a nice thing that you tried to you, and I would venture to guess that he must be mentally ill.

 

[cindygenit]

You''re a very kind soul Amethyste and sorry he had to be so rude to you.

I''m glad to hear you''re moving on though

.

 

[brightlight]

Date: 8/18/2009 7:16:32 PM
Author: Amethyste
Thank you Ali for editing my post - I was still in shock when I wrote this and used terrible language. My appologies for whoever read my potty mouth

I should have waited to be more composed before typing this...

I am still surprised at the reaction of the man and his words, as many of you have said, he probably has some mental issues...

some people just do not want to be helped and obviously, he was one of them. I am still upset and now I feel that a bruise is starting to grow where the bottle of water hit me in the back

Tylenol PM I will see you tonight!!!!

Thank you all for all of the kind words - I cried on my way back... I was mostly crying cause I was in disbelief of what happened... I am better now... THank you all for listening ...

You know, I read your post earlier on my Blackberry with all the explitives. For some reason, b/c they were misspelled, I didn't think twice about your potty mouth ... or maybe it's b/c I have a potty mouth too.

I'm sure on some level that man appreciated your gesture. I think it was an issue of pride and him not wanting a freebie. Regardless of his response, you did a good thing!

 

[y2kitty]

Sorry to hear about your experience Amytheste. Sounds like the guy has real problems.

I've had homeless ask me for my leftovers as I leave a restaurant. I give that to them.

I've had homeless ask for my water bottle as I walk to work. I give that to them.

A few weeks ago a homeless man approached me in a parking lot with a story about just being released from the hospital and needing money to get a prescription filled. I offered to take him inside Safeway and pay to have it filled for him and he got all huffy. I think there was no prescription.

Now for the funny:
Homeless guy asked me something about myself and I told him about my life. Then HE offered to buy ME coffee like he felt bad for me.

Homeless guy outside my apartment complex asked for food. Told him I would go inside and make him oatmeal and bring out. I did. An hour later I walk by and he goes to give me my tupperware but says my oatmeal was bland!!!