Brown.Eyed.Girl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,893
Sorry this is going to be long. Note: I AM looking more for sympathy and wise advice given in a considerate manner. Please don''t be too brutal with the honesty. Thanks.
Ugh. I just found out some things about some law school friends that''s really really ticking me off. I just found out that this friend, who we''ll call K, that I was really close with last year, has been mad at me for the last 10 months. Long story short, we were close up until second quarter of last year, and then spring quarter I felt her kind of pulling away. I attributed it to the fact that spring q is the hardest, busiest and most stressful quarter of the first year. And this past summer, I was out of the country and she was busy working for a judge, so it wasn''t unusual that we didn''t talk (I really was in close contact with my BF and my family because of time difference and so much going on at work). Well we got back to school this year, and she''s been totally cold-shouldering me. Won''t say hi or acknowledge me in the hallways (same with BF), won''t invite us to any group gatherings (and we''re in the same large group of friends), etc.
Well tonight I was talking to another friend (B) and the subject came up, and B told me that K had always been mad at me for offering B my apartment at a lower price than hers last April. If I remember right, she had offered hers to him (she was in a 2BR with her BF and she would be out of state the summer but her BF wouldn''t, so B would have the 2nd bedroom) and I had said (once) to B that he should sublet from me (mostly jokingly because I knew he had already agreed to hers). My apt was in the same building as hers and is a 1BR and I said I would offer it to him at a really low price bc i basically just wanted it off my hands.
B told me tonight that she''s been mad at me since, and THAT''s why she was cold-shouldering me all this time. ALL THIS TIME!!!! And she hasn''t said a word to me. I''ve been going around this entire time wondering what was going on because I didn''t recall ever doing anything mean to her, saying anything mean to her, doing anything to make her angry, etc.
Now I''m really pissed off that 1) she''s been angry at me over this for 10 freakin'' months - come on! Let''s go to grown-up land here!; and 2) that she hasn''t said anything to me. I mean, if she had, I would have apologized for making her feel whatever the way she felt and we could have resolved this. Instead, she held onto this issue for nearly a year. B says K is "starting to get over it." I didn''t say this to him because although I love B he''s a huge gossip (although I ranted to my poor sleepy BF later) but at this point, I don''t care if she''s getting over it. If she wants to ignore me because of something like this, fine, I don''t want a friend like that who can act so petty.
And on a side note, a lot of my law school friends have been really high-maintenance with our friendship...last quarter and this quarter, I have mostly seminars so I don''t go to school when I don''t have class - I just don''t like hanging out there, studying there, etc. So every time they see me, it''s like "oh you still go here?" At first, it was just teasing, but now when they say it there''s definitely an edge to it.. plus another friend, who is VERY high-maintenance - every time I say anything to him, his response is "well it''s your fault, you''re never here." How do I respond to that? Plus BF and I are apparently no longer being invited to parties or what not, like our other friend D''s party this past weekend (casual thing). I know I wouldn''t have been able to go anyway - her cat induces serious allergic reactions in me that take hours for me to get over, but still. Half of my friends here are really great and don''t try to force our friendship and i love and respect them for that. The other half are making me want to actively ignore them instead of just not being around because they''re driving me crazy.
I hate it when people try to force friendship...my high school and college best friends are awesome in that regard. We care for each other and we''re always there for each other, but we get that we all have different busy lives...we''re not going to get mad if we have stuff going on because we know it doesn''t jeopardize our friendship. URGH.
Sorry for how long this is, but I''m so annoyed. I''ve not played a perfect part in all this by any means, but I''m just feeling a little ganged up on and feeling frustrated with this whole situation.
Ugh. I just found out some things about some law school friends that''s really really ticking me off. I just found out that this friend, who we''ll call K, that I was really close with last year, has been mad at me for the last 10 months. Long story short, we were close up until second quarter of last year, and then spring quarter I felt her kind of pulling away. I attributed it to the fact that spring q is the hardest, busiest and most stressful quarter of the first year. And this past summer, I was out of the country and she was busy working for a judge, so it wasn''t unusual that we didn''t talk (I really was in close contact with my BF and my family because of time difference and so much going on at work). Well we got back to school this year, and she''s been totally cold-shouldering me. Won''t say hi or acknowledge me in the hallways (same with BF), won''t invite us to any group gatherings (and we''re in the same large group of friends), etc.
Well tonight I was talking to another friend (B) and the subject came up, and B told me that K had always been mad at me for offering B my apartment at a lower price than hers last April. If I remember right, she had offered hers to him (she was in a 2BR with her BF and she would be out of state the summer but her BF wouldn''t, so B would have the 2nd bedroom) and I had said (once) to B that he should sublet from me (mostly jokingly because I knew he had already agreed to hers). My apt was in the same building as hers and is a 1BR and I said I would offer it to him at a really low price bc i basically just wanted it off my hands.
B told me tonight that she''s been mad at me since, and THAT''s why she was cold-shouldering me all this time. ALL THIS TIME!!!! And she hasn''t said a word to me. I''ve been going around this entire time wondering what was going on because I didn''t recall ever doing anything mean to her, saying anything mean to her, doing anything to make her angry, etc.
Now I''m really pissed off that 1) she''s been angry at me over this for 10 freakin'' months - come on! Let''s go to grown-up land here!; and 2) that she hasn''t said anything to me. I mean, if she had, I would have apologized for making her feel whatever the way she felt and we could have resolved this. Instead, she held onto this issue for nearly a year. B says K is "starting to get over it." I didn''t say this to him because although I love B he''s a huge gossip (although I ranted to my poor sleepy BF later) but at this point, I don''t care if she''s getting over it. If she wants to ignore me because of something like this, fine, I don''t want a friend like that who can act so petty.
And on a side note, a lot of my law school friends have been really high-maintenance with our friendship...last quarter and this quarter, I have mostly seminars so I don''t go to school when I don''t have class - I just don''t like hanging out there, studying there, etc. So every time they see me, it''s like "oh you still go here?" At first, it was just teasing, but now when they say it there''s definitely an edge to it.. plus another friend, who is VERY high-maintenance - every time I say anything to him, his response is "well it''s your fault, you''re never here." How do I respond to that? Plus BF and I are apparently no longer being invited to parties or what not, like our other friend D''s party this past weekend (casual thing). I know I wouldn''t have been able to go anyway - her cat induces serious allergic reactions in me that take hours for me to get over, but still. Half of my friends here are really great and don''t try to force our friendship and i love and respect them for that. The other half are making me want to actively ignore them instead of just not being around because they''re driving me crazy.
I hate it when people try to force friendship...my high school and college best friends are awesome in that regard. We care for each other and we''re always there for each other, but we get that we all have different busy lives...we''re not going to get mad if we have stuff going on because we know it doesn''t jeopardize our friendship. URGH.
Sorry for how long this is, but I''m so annoyed. I''ve not played a perfect part in all this by any means, but I''m just feeling a little ganged up on and feeling frustrated with this whole situation.
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