Anger issues?!!!

[BeaudryBabe]

What a strange trip to the bank earlier today...

I pull up to the window at the drive thru, rather than into a lane with the "sonic tube". I have like five business deposits and a new teller, who appears to be really confused. It's a beautiful day here in the Northeast, so I decide, no problem, I will wait patiently as I listen to a radio tribute to 9/11.

Enter the woman in the huge SUV...she pulls behind me, instead of pulling into one of three open lanes. After 10 minutes of waiting, I can see in my rearview mirror that she has become terribly upset and very put out, if you will. Shortly after making this observation, I hear whining tires and smell lots of rubber. She throws the SUV into reverse, backs up near the speed of sound and then pulls forward into the lane next to me, one of the sonic tube lanes. She puts her banking into the tube and slams her hand onto the button to launch the tube. As I try to ignore her, as her behavior is getting really bad, I feel her eyes upon me. I look to my right, make eye contact and shrug my shoulders and smile, as if to say, sorry, don't know why it's taking so long. She glares and gestures as she mumbles. I politely ask "is there a problem"? She lashes back, "are you paranoid". Well, my blood can boil as quick at the next gals, but no, I decide it is far to beautiful a day to be ruined by someone like this, 9/11 no less, I mean, shouldn't we all be treating one another a little better today of all days? So, I say, as I laugh, are you psychotic? She continues to gesture and mumble, I put up the passenger window and go about my banking. I then hear her yell, 'I am trying to figure out if you are a man or a woman". I think, what, she really is nuts and definately in need of some meds. I open my window and calmly and nicely proclaim "I have one word for you on 9/11...COMPASSION". She screams "you rotten -itch" and on and on, you get where I am going with this. She proceeds to buzz the teller, ask the teller what my problem is and continues her rant.

Finally, her banking comes back to her, I open my window and again, calmly and nicely, hoping maybe she'll bite and calm down a bit I say...Have a nice day. Well, that did it, the -uck word started to fly, she has every name in the book in her vocabulary and I am privileged to hear them all. She throws the SUV into drive and peels out of the drive thru lane.

Good grief, what is happening to this world we live in? Why can't we all just show some common courtesy, be civil and gee, maybe even get along.

Sorry for the rant, thanks for reading.

 

[Rod]

So sorry you had such a bad experience. I''d say this rude, intollerant woman certainly has anger management issues to the highest degree. Sounds like you kept your cool, which is often very difficult to do, so kudo''s to you for doing that. And know that your blood pressue was much lower and you were less likely to suffer a stroke than that mess of a human being.

 

[Mara]

it sounds like the gal definitely had 'issues'....sometimes you just have no idea what kind of mental state other people are in. people are pretty random and scary sometimes!!

we had a weird experience a few years ago going to one of my favorite nurseries for plants. greg and i were driving his old ford truck and we were waiting to turn into the lot, which can get crowded as it's small so sometimes you have to wait for a minute on the actual street with your blinker on. this gal behind us was mad that we were not turning in (we were waiting for a granny to get into her car next to the spot we were eyeing...we couldn't have gone into the spot without hitting her)...so she is going all agro in the car behind us...honking and waving her arms. mind you there is another turn in driveway about 50 yards up if you want to go in there and park in the adjacent lot. greg just lifted his hand and kind of made the 'stop' sign to her like 'wait a second'...so we eventually drive in and park and she swings in behind us and parks as well. greg said 'uh oh' and he said she was coming towards us...we go to walk into the nursery and she is heading straight for us. she intercepts us as we are walking in and said something about it being rude to make people wait. greg who is typically the more mild-mannered of us is already all irritated with her for being such a pill about waiting...and tells her that EVERYONE has to wait to get into this lot typically so what makes her special? did she want us to run over granny? show a little patience, etc. she then proceeds to FLIP OUT and start screaming at us about how rude it was or whatever, i don't even remember specifics. but she was obviously really agitated...like way beyond normal. at this point greg had just had it, so he just showed her the hand and told her to step off (in a more colorful way...hee hee). i was just kind of dazedly watching the whole thing standing next to him, i mean who gets this upset about going to a flower nursery, doesn't shopping for flowers make people happy?? so after he tells her to cool it, we just turn and walk away and she actually let it go and walked past us and i told greg she obviously had something in her life going wrong, because happy people don't act like that towards others. especially random strangers who don't want to run over another shopper who is getting into her car. totally random. i have gone to this place for years and never had an issue. i just couldn't believe that she was THAT upset about having to wait an extra minute to park her car. i mean come on!

 

[FireGoddess]

Sheesh. Someone forgot to take her valium today.

It's sad that some people get so jacked up because of stupid things that they mistreat other people. She is in serious need of a reality check. How ironic that it happened today.

I was driving into work and listening to NPR and the call in hour about people's thoughts and feelings regarding the 9/11 attacks of 5 years ago. I was taking note of all the drivers around me and thinking about how people are continuing to live as if nothing happened. Not in a bad way, not that they've forgotten what happened, but that the impatience and short tempers and selfishness have returned. You'd think on today of all days people would think about how they treat others.

ETA: Mara's story reminded me of this woman going postal in a mall parking lot - I was somewhat lost after just moving here and realized I needed to turn left instead of go straight...I put the blinker on and waited a few cars for someone to let me in...well, the woman behind me just lost it because she had to wait a minute and FOLLOWED my car into the mall. I parked, and then she blocked me in. I got out of my car and she started cursing. I'm sorry, but having been raised in New Jersey I was NOT about to take that crap. I told her she needed anger management classes and that having to wait one minute (she wouldn't have even been caught at the light) is not the end of the world. She just kept going on and finally I said, I'm going in the mall. You can sit here in front of my car all you like. I am writing your license plate number down right now, so that if ANYthing happens to my car while I'm shopping, I know who to send the cops after. The irony was, my car was new and had no license plates yet, so she couldn't get any identifying information off of me. Interesting how quickly she left.

 

[BeaudryBabe]

Well, thanks Rod, I really didn''t want to engage, life is too short.

Mara, is it me, or is this type of behavior becoming more and more prevelant? Maybe it is indicative of the general publics frustration? Frustration about the war, the president, terroism, a lack of control? Who knows, but we are missing some common courtesy, that is for sure.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

I don''t understand what makes some people tick. Why would anyone go out of the way to pick a fight with a total stranger, not knowing how the person would react? They''d be sorry if they picked an argument with a plainclothes police officer or someone with an equally short temper who had a knife or a gun.

 

[BeaudryBabe]

Sorry Firegoddess, we must have posted simultaneously.

Yup, my feeling exactly, that today of all days, we should stop, remember and maybe make an effort to treat others better.

 

[Mara]

BB...the way i see it...someone said this here recently too in another thread...and i totally agree...is that people think THEY and their lives are the most important thing out there. their time is more important than anyone elses, their errands are more important than anyone elses, their lives are more important than anyone elses. who cares about others when YOU have stuff that needs to get done. i know i am guilty of it too...i have impatiently waited during a lunch hour or something in a parking lot for some slow driver to eventually work their way out of a parking spot in a 20 point turn, thinking 'okay, how hard is it to drive the car?'...of course i don't freak out and flip out on someone if i'm having a bad day and i doubt i would ever confront someone who frustrated me, but some days i feel way more patient and indulgent than others for sure.

i think that everyone's pet peeves are just so much more pronounced nowadays. everyone feels so much more 'entitled' about things. maybe it's the stress of a busy life or a busy job or too many things on one's plates some days. maybe people have some really serious stuff going on in their lives and it comes out in these types of negative ways. people are also more apt to confront each other and tell them what THEY think than they seemingly have been in the past. i always tell greg NOT to confront other drives or respond to them if they are freaking out because you don't know if they have a gun in their car or something! people can be crazy! i remember reading this local story a few years ago about a gal who was waiting in her car with her dog at a stop-sign and some guy she had cut off in a truck behind her came up to the car, reached in, grabbed the dog and threw it into traffic. just horrifying but he wanted to SHOW HER who was boss. it is mind-boggling.

i also think this goes to the same issue of people have less time for other people and less time to be courteous to others. people don't HELP each other like they used to. you see broken down people on the road and no one stops to help. everyone calls it in on their cell phone but there's that disconnect between human and human that i think was probably more there in the old days. it's sad...i drive by people on the side of the road who need help but i won't stop because as a lone female it's just not smart. but i wonder if one day i'll be on the side of the road and no one will stop to help me either.

 

[Rod]

Date: 9/11/2006 2:26:23 PM
Author: BeaudryBabe
Well, thanks Rod, I really didn''t want to engage, life is too short.

Mara, is it me, or is this type of behavior becoming more and more prevelant? Maybe it is indicative of the general publics frustration? Frustration about the war, the president, terroism, a lack of control? Who knows, but we are missing some common courtesy, that is for sure.

I couldn''t agree more with you. I think people are super frustrated. Gas costs too much. We live in houses we couldn''t afford to buy again. Property taxes keep going higher and higher and don''t me started about homeowner''s insurance in Florida. I mean geesh, we need a loan to pay that bill. But common civility seems gone. The other night I was getting a few items at the grocery store and this guy went ballistic because he couldn''t find an open cashier within seconds. He actually just dumped his stuff on the floor and started screaming that it was rediculous he should be forced to wait to pay for his purchase. The other day, I saw two people vying for the same parking space hit each other in an attempt to see who would ''win!'' The other night at the gym, I started using a machine, only to have the guy who was using the machine next to mine start yelling at me because he was supposedly going back and forth between the machines and how dare I interrupt him. I mean he was screaming at me (and got kicked out of the gym over that little outburst).

I guess my point is we all have a lot of pressure these days. But these people who believe they come before everyone else just don''t get it and are likely a mess inside as a result.

Again, sorry you were treated so badly.

 

[Rod]

Date: 9/11/2006 2:33:24 PM
Author: Mara
BB...the way i see it...someone said this here recently too in another thread...and i totally agree...is that people think THEY and their lives are the most important thing out there. their time is more important than anyone elses, their errands are more important than anyone elses, their lives are more important than anyone elses. who cares about others when YOU have stuff that needs to get done. i know i am guilty of it too...i have impatiently waited during a lunch hour or something in a parking lot for some slow driver to eventually work their way out of a parking spot in a 20 point turn, thinking ''okay, how hard is it to drive the car?''...of course i don''t freak out and flip out on someone if i''m having a bad day and i doubt i would ever confront someone who frustrated me, but some days i feel way more patient and indulgent than others for sure.

i think that everyone''s pet peeves are just so much more pronounced nowadays. everyone feels so much more ''entitled'' about things. maybe it''s the stress of a busy life or a busy job or too many things on one''s plates some days. maybe people have some really serious stuff going on in their lives and it comes out in these types of negative ways. people are also more apt to confront each other and tell them what THEY think than they seemingly have been in the past. i always tell greg NOT to confront other drives or respond to them if they are freaking out because you don''t know if they have a gun in their car or something! people can be crazy! i remember reading this local story a few years ago about a gal who was waiting in her car with her dog at a stop-sign and some guy she had cut off in a truck behind her came up to the car, reached in, grabbed the dog and threw it into traffic. just horrifying but he wanted to SHOW HER who was boss. it is mind-boggling.

i also think this goes to the same issue of people have less time for other people and less time to be courteous to others. people don''t HELP each other like they used to. you see broken down people on the road and no one stops to help. everyone calls it in on their cell phone but there''s that disconnect between human and human that i think was probably more there in the old days. it''s sad...i drive by people on the side of the road who need help but i won''t stop because as a lone female it''s just not smart. but i wonder if one day i''ll be on the side of the road and no one will stop to help me either.

Or sadder yet, someone will stop, but not to help you......

 

[Erin]

I probably wouldn''t have responded at all - especially the are you psychotic part. I''ve had my share of the severely chemically imbalanced in downtown Chicago and wouldn''t chance one second pushing someone''s buttons. Ever had a crazy person rant and scream in your face while you''re trapped on the L? Ever had someone with road rage follow you home? It''s safer to keep to myself to avoid those situations again.

 

[BeaudryBabe]

SP,

Your probably right, maybe I should just not have responded. I have always been the type, in any situation in my life, to get the issue out and deal with it, get it over. She was difficult to ignore as a result of her yelling and gestures and I was nice, very nice. In fact, the nicer I was, the more pissed she became, so, her problem, not mine.

I just really thought, today is the wrong day to behave in this manner.