Am I unlikeable? 2

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 12/28/2009 12:23:19 PM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 12/27/2009 9:52:39 PM

Author: MonkeyPie

I don''t think anyone here is intending to offend you with any replies to your threads, but no one here gets mollycoddled, either.

Minor threadjack -- MonkeyPie, I''ve never heard the word ''mollycoddled'' before! I''ve heard ''coddled,'' but ''mollycoddled'' is so much better! Thanks for that.

Sorry to interrupt the thread...

LOL sometimes I sound 80 years old

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 12/28/2009 12:42:00 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I have no idea who you are and don't think (or don't remember) reading any of your threads before this one. From what you're saying, I'd say, trust me, that's a good thing.

Haha, TGal- I thought the same thing, hence my response:

OP- I read some of your other posts and cannot see where you're coming from on the "complaining and lecturing" you say you're getting from PSers. You haven't gotten a "put on your big girl panties" post from PP or have been on the receiving end of one of TGals very wise/hit the nail on the head posts, so I'm bit perplexed by this thread you're started- you're just calling MORE attention to yourself

I've been around PS for a while (read more than I post), and have seen a lot of folks come and go... My advice is to take a step back and just chill.

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 12/28/2009 6:32:31 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 12/28/2009 12:42:00 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I have no idea who you are and don''t think (or don''t remember) reading any of your threads before this one. From what you''re saying, I''d say, trust me, that''s a good thing.

Haha, TGal- I thought the same thing, hence my response:

OP- I read some of your other posts and cannot see where you''re coming from on the ''complaining and lecturing'' you say you''re getting from PSers. You haven''t gotten a ''put on your big girl panties'' post from PP or have been on the receiving end of one of TGals very wise/hit the nail on the head posts, so I''m bit perplexed by this thread you''re started- you''re just calling MORE attention to yourself

I''ve been around PS for a while (read more than I post), and have seen a lot of folks come and go... My advice is to take a step back and just chill.

Not yet...
I will say that insecure, attention grabbing, defensive, "I''m a good person" declaring, miraculous resolving threads do tend to get on my very last nerve

 

[Porridge]

Date: 12/28/2009 7:29:57 PM
Author: purrfectpear

Date: 12/28/2009 6:32:31 PM

Author: ChargerGrrl

You haven''t gotten a ''put on your big girl panties'' post from PP

Not yet...

I will say that insecure, attention grabbing, defensive, ''I''m a good person'' declaring, miraculous resolving threads do tend to get on my very last nerve

*settles down with the popcorn*

 

[Dancing Fire]

YT...go ahead and brag all you want.

i too would brag if i had something to brag about.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/28/2009 6:32:31 PM
Author: ChargerGrrl

Date: 12/28/2009 12:42:00 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Well, I have no idea who you are and don''t think (or don''t remember) reading any of your threads before this one. From what you''re saying, I''d say, trust me, that''s a good thing.

Haha, TGal- I thought the same thing, hence my response:

OP- I read some of your other posts and cannot see where you''re coming from on the ''complaining and lecturing'' you say you''re getting from PSers. You haven''t gotten a ''put on your big girl panties'' post from PP or have been on the receiving end of one of TGals very wise/hit the nail on the head posts, so I''m bit perplexed by this thread you''re started- you''re just calling MORE attention to yourself

I''ve been around PS for a while (read more than I post), and have seen a lot of folks come and go... My advice is to take a step back and just chill.

This. YT, when you make mistakes (in your perception, whether you have or have not) and you''re either embarrassed about things or feel self-conscious, I think it''s best in general to let things die and be forgotten about over time than to keep bringing it up and drawing more attention to it. Sort of like a celebrity committing a fashion faux-pas and seeing pics of themselves in the outfit all over the tabloids...it''s best to just get over it and move on rather than go on a late-night talk show wearing the same outfit and asking "why don''t you people like this look? Is it really that bad? Please cut me some slack!"

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Haha its so funny cuz my family and friends have told me all the time that I need to chill and relax and stop being sensitive. The same things u guys are telling me!

They always say relax and enjoy your time. Haha

I think that means I need to chill out... Stop posting new threads and wait for my ring to arrive.
Part of the reason why I started posting in hangout was because I was bored waiting for my ring for 6 weeks. Haha

So now its only 2 more weeks and then I will get to post in SMTR!!
Thanks you guys! Everyone thanks for educating dumb me on forum ettiquette!!


Time for me to chillax!!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/28/2009 9:12:30 PM
Author: YayTacori
Haha its so funny cuz my family and friends have told me all the time that I need to chill and relax and stop being sensitive. The same things u guys are telling me!

They always say relax and enjoy your time. Haha

I think that means I need to chill out... Stop posting new threads and wait for my ring to arrive.
Part of the reason why I started posting in hangout was because I was bored waiting for my ring for 6 weeks. Haha

So now its only 2 more weeks and then I will get to post in SMTR!!
Thanks you guys! Everyone thanks for educating dumb me on forum ettiquette!!


Time for me to chillax!!

Don''t downplay your intelligence, YT. First of all it isn''t becoming, and second, if you tell yourself you''re "dumb" you will believe it and probably it will become a self-fulfilled prophecy. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. New Year''s is close at hand, think about making a resolution to have more confidence in yourself and be proud of the personality traits you possess as well as your skills and talents. This ring is not going to make you a better person in the eyes of anyone, but it will complement a woman who has faith and confidence in herself.

 

[Upgradable]

Monarch, you are a holiday gift to us all!! Thanks for sharing your kind perspective and wisdom!

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Date: 12/28/2009 9:25:40 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/28/2009 9:12:30 PM

Author: YayTacori

Haha its so funny cuz my family and friends have told me all the time that I need to chill and relax and stop being sensitive. The same things u guys are telling me!



They always say relax and enjoy your time. Haha



I think that means I need to chill out... Stop posting new threads and wait for my ring to arrive.

Part of the reason why I started posting in hangout was because I was bored waiting for my ring for 6 weeks. Haha



So now its only 2 more weeks and then I will get to post in SMTR!!

Thanks you guys! Everyone thanks for educating dumb me on forum ettiquette!!





Time for me to chillax!!

Don''t downplay your intelligence, YT. First of all it isn''t becoming, and second, if you tell yourself you''re ''dumb'' you will believe it and probably it will become a self-fulfilled prophecy. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. New Year''s is close at hand, think about making a resolution to have more confidence in yourself and be proud of the personality traits you possess as well as your skills and talents. This ring is not going to make you a better person in the eyes of anyone, but it will complement a woman who has faith and confidence in herself.

Thanks monarch! Your words mean a lot. Self confidence has not always been a strong trait of mine. My parents have always criticized me since I was a kid and sometimes its hard to be confident. I''m trying tho to make myself into a stronger person that believes in myself!

What a perfect time for new years to come!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 12/28/2009 9:50:20 AM
Author: Porridge
YayTacori, this is going to be long and I am going to be blunt with you.

You are being too sensitive. This is a public, anonymous forum, on which there are thousands of members and hundreds of posters. Remember this, because it is important, in forum world and in real life: nobody is paying nearly as much attention to you as you think they are. This is a good thing. This means that nobody is analysing your every word and action, so there is no need to worry about it. People here skim through posts, some respond, rarely does one spend more than a few moments thinking about your posts. Why? Because we''re all too busy thinking of how that post relates to us, what our experiences are and what advice we want to give. That is the nature of humans. So really to think that because of a few posts here that people consider you unlikable is to presume far too much attention is on you. It isn''t. And again, this is a good thing. Stay around, get a feel for the place, post what you want, and for gods sake stop worrying about whether people like you or not, because it is a supreme waste of time. Not everyone is going to like you, nobody''s perfect. This is true for everybody. So in a word: chill.

Another thing to remember is that none of us have ever met you so we cannot possibly like or dislike you. Also, seeing as how none of us have ever met you, it shouldn''t matter whether we do or not! No point seeking the approval of people you don''t even know!

Honestly, your posts can be contradictory and you get defensive easily. There is no need! You have not been lectured as far as I can see (but, being human, I have only briefly skimmed your posts and not paid much attention: busy thinking about myself you see). You have certainly not been lectured more than anyone else has. You post asking for opinions and advice? You are going to get them and they are not all going to be sugar coated and they don''t reflect on you because WE DON''T KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! This applies to everyone, not just you. Take the replies with a pinch of salt. Including this one. I guarantee I will have forgotten about it within a few minutes (again, time taken up by thinking about my own stuff and pretty sparklies).

If you try very hard to please people and get people to like you, you will only ever be disappointed. So stop it. Really. People pleasers are annoying. Not everyone is going to like you. That''s life. If you want to enjoy it, then chill out and enjoy it. Focus on what you want to do rather than what you think others want you to do. That''s just pointless.

Stick around. Stop worrying. Chill

Enjoy yourself.

I was going to write this exact post, but you beat me to it!

I will add that one of the most difficult aspects of social anxiety is the sort of benign narcissism that accompanies it. That means that when someone is socially anxious -- and I think you are, YT, from what you have written here and other places -- they become hyper vigilent for acceptance or rejection cues from those around them. This means that a lot of mental energy is spent analysing what *other people* think about *you*, and not enough mental energy is spent just honestly interacting with other people and learning about them and their personality and their preferences. That style of social interaction is not very likable, can you see that? It is all about YOU YOU YOU! Social anxiety also means that every little nuance of tone, or in the case of a forum, letter, is torn apart and analyzed for clues about the writers liking, or disliking, of you. The fact is that if you seek, ye shall find. You think people won''t like you? Well then you will find lots of evidence, especially because ambiguous social cues abound in real life, and probably more so in a forum.

It is hard for anyone to enter a new social situation. Harder still if you are anxious. But this is a nice group of people... opinionated and ornery, but nice.

Sit back and relax and hang out, and you will probably have some fun.

 

[setell]

Didn`t read your other threads as I`ve been busy with the holidays and all but grow a thicker skin. I don`t post a lot on PS as I`m more a lurker here than poster but I post every now and than. But I go to my other forums and man be prepared to be ripped apart as people are pure blunt and will not hold anything back. Folks on PS are nice compared to some other forums!

Also, if you don`t come off as a snob you won`t get a lot of heat too

Like somebody else mentioned, if you didn`t ask how to show off your designer ring then you won`t send this message you`re a big snob. A lot of folks on PS have a lot of things to show off on but don`t. We`re fairly humble here and admire our bling bling quietly.

EDIT: sorry for the french accent as my keyboard was on CDN french and too lazy to retype it all out

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/28/2009 9:44:31 PM
Author: YayTacori

Date: 12/28/2009 9:25:40 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/28/2009 9:12:30 PM

Author: YayTacori

Haha its so funny cuz my family and friends have told me all the time that I need to chill and relax and stop being sensitive. The same things u guys are telling me!



They always say relax and enjoy your time. Haha



I think that means I need to chill out... Stop posting new threads and wait for my ring to arrive.

Part of the reason why I started posting in hangout was because I was bored waiting for my ring for 6 weeks. Haha



So now its only 2 more weeks and then I will get to post in SMTR!!

Thanks you guys! Everyone thanks for educating dumb me on forum ettiquette!!





Time for me to chillax!!

Don''t downplay your intelligence, YT. First of all it isn''t becoming, and second, if you tell yourself you''re ''dumb'' you will believe it and probably it will become a self-fulfilled prophecy. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. New Year''s is close at hand, think about making a resolution to have more confidence in yourself and be proud of the personality traits you possess as well as your skills and talents. This ring is not going to make you a better person in the eyes of anyone, but it will complement a woman who has faith and confidence in herself.

Thanks monarch! Your words mean a lot. Self confidence has not always been a strong trait of mine. My parents have always criticized me since I was a kid and sometimes its hard to be confident. I''m trying tho to make myself into a stronger person that believes in myself!

What a perfect time for new years to come!

Listen to your inner voice, YT. I realize that is easier said than done, but think about who YOU are, who YOU want to be, and don''t be distracted by remembrances of what others used to or still tell you about yourself. You are your own person, and you are in control of the person you are and evolve into. Your twenties are all about this. Take the time to get to know yourself instead of listening to others'' perceptions. Feedback from others is great, but not when it conflicts with what you know to be true about yourself.

 

[kenny]

You will only be likable if you are rich, skinny, beautiful without make up when you wake up, smart, funny, educated, charitable, athletic, a good cook, work on your own car, outgoing, clever, young, coy, a published author, sassy, witty, well spoken, an astronaut, well traveled, never pass gas, built your own house, an important philanthropist, charming, hold a major political office, have perfect pitch, speak several languages fluently, a listed artist, and are very very humble.

This describes every one of us on PS to a tee.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/28/2009 10:44:36 PM
Author: kenny
You will only be likable if you are rich, skinny, beautiful without make up when you wake up, smart, funny, educated, charitable, athletic, a good cook, work on your own car, outgoing, clever, young, coy, a published author, sassy, witty, well spoken, an astronaut, well traveled, never pass gas, built your own house, an important philanthropist, charming, hold a major political office, have perfect pitch, speak several languages fluently, a listed artist, and are very very humble.

This describes every one of us on PS to a tee.

Damn right it does.

 

[miraclesrule]

Yup, that about sums us up Kenny.

 

[kenny]

For some reason this thread reminded me of this video.

Click

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/29/2009 12:19:47 AM
Author: kenny
For some reason this thread reminded me of this video.

Click

Very interesting, Kenny.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Thats a very interesting, out of the box, video kenny. But it does make a good point. I''m the robot

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 12/29/2009 1:11:09 AM
Author: YayTacori
Thats a very interesting, out of the box, video kenny. But it does make a good point. I'm the robot

I watched that video and it is interesting but to me you are not the robot at all. I don't know what all is going on but just hang in there. Forums can be hard; this was my first forum and I was super confused when I started, maybe no one could tell but it took me a little while. I would just sat back and watch; don't get worked up and you will be fine. Can't wait to see your beautiful Tacori; I think they are gorgeous rings

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

eta: ditto what Cehrabehra (Sara) said below.

 

[Cehrabehra]

when you read a thread that has a lot of different views it''s easy to go oh well they have a point and they have a point and I don''t agree with that but that''s an interesting thought..... but when they are ALL directed at YOU it can feel like a mammoth magnifying glass analyzing your every move, judging you and even sometimes deciding that your opinion is crud and thusly so must you be.... but it''s a perspective issue, not a personal one. The thick skin helps with it

I''ve not seen anything wrong in your posts.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

Date: 12/29/2009 1:22:34 AM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 12/29/2009 1:11:09 AM
Author: YayTacori
Thats a very interesting, out of the box, video kenny. But it does make a good point. I''m the robot

I watched that video and it is interesting but to me you are not the robot at all. I don''t know what all is going on but just hang in there. Forums can be hard; this was my first forum and I was super confused when I started, maybe no one could tell but it took me a little while. I would just sat back and watch; don''t get worked up and you will be fine. Can''t wait to see your beautiful Tacori; I think they are gorgeous rings

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

awwww skippy... you''re so nice!

thanks, this is my first forum and I think I took the wrong road. I should have just sit back and relaxed, scoped out people''s rings, and commented in the SMTR thread

 

[kenny]

YT, welcome to PS.
Sit down.
Take your shoes off.
Take a deep breath.

It''s a good place.
Enjoy.

 

[Deactivated member 42515]

thanks! I''ve always known to be a little uptight and I know that its one of my traits that I want to tone down

My husband always tells me to "chillax" hehe

 

[Porridge]

Great video Kenny.

YayTacori, dreamer daschie is spot on about social anxiety, and you just did it a little there, probably without realising. You react to Kennys video by saying "I am the robot". And you''ll watch for peoples response to that. But we''re not going to fawn all over you here and tell you that you''re not. We don''t know you. If you tell us you''re a robot then we''ll believe you''re a robot. Do you want to be a robot? I''d doubt it.

You''re relying far too much on other peoples perspective of you. It''s got to be exhausting!! And it''s inaccurate - only you know yourself, it doesn''t matter what other peoples perspective is. There are 6 billion of us, all with different backgrounds and experiences and how we view people depends on a myriad of factors.

Maybe someone here could recommend a book on self esteem for you. It must be hard to forget what your parents told you and learn a new way of thinking, so some help would be important. It would be wonderful for you to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.

 

[rhbgirl24]

I think being on a forum and real life have the same loose dynamics. Sometimes you mesh with people and sometimes you don''t. The difference here though, is there is less of a filter between peoples thoughts and what they actually post......

It takes a bit of getting used to, but so be it. I still believe in - if you can''t say something nice...... but not everyone thinks that way.

 

[Laila619]

For starters, it would be best to:

1) not use caps when you post. You do this in some of your threads to emphasize points, but it is equivalent to yelling in the online world and is frowned upon.
2) post fewer topics and lurk more
3) not brag about your Tacori ring. This is not a Tacori forum and most PSers aren't really impressed by name dropping, unless it's a Leon Mege (

).

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/28/2009 10:44:36 PM
Author: kenny
You will only be likable if you are rich, skinny, beautiful without make up when you wake up, smart, funny, educated, charitable, athletic, a good cook, work on your own car, outgoing, clever, young, coy, a published author, sassy, witty, well spoken, an astronaut, well traveled, never pass gas, built your own house, an important philanthropist, charming, hold a major political office, have perfect pitch, speak several languages fluently, a listed artist, and are very very humble.

This describes every one of us on PS to a tee.

I dont know why - but reading this - I immediately thought of the astronaut in the diaper... who really wasn''t that likeable at all.... but amusing... I definately need my wheaties this morning.

YT, cannot wait to see your tacori ring on SMTR!