am i being rude? i said no gifts allowed...

[MissMina]

Geezer: An eccentric old man.

Hag: A wizened old woman or a fairy or goddess having the appearance of such a woman.

It seems that "hagness" is only skin deep while "geezerness" goes all the way to the bone

Happy Birthday Mrs DF

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I don''t see a problem with the no-gift rule under normal circumstances, but with a surprise party, not having gifts may leave your wife a bit confused. For those who aren''t sure what to give her, a bouquette of flowers is an easy option.

More and more of my sons'' friends have no-gift parties, so overall I don''t see it as a big deal. It''s only an issue when some ignore the request and then the ones who don''t bring gifts end up feeling bad over it.

 

[AprilBaby]

DF, I am shocked "old hag" is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/23/2010 12:00:13 PM
Author: MC
I don''t see a problem with the no-gift rule under normal circumstances, but with a surprise party, not having gifts may leave your wife a bit confused. For those who aren''t sure what to give her, a bouquette of flowers is an easy option.

More and more of my sons'' friends have no-gift parties, so overall I don''t see it as a big deal. It''s only an issue when some ignore the request and then the ones who don''t bring gifts end up feeling bad over it.

I agree! No-gift parties for kids sound like a wonderful idea. I''m always shocked with the amount of STUFF my niece and nephew receive for their birthdays. Who needs it all.

And I definitely agree about it becoming an issue when some ignore the request. I went to an engagement party once where the couple told everyone "no gifts" yet a lot of people brought gifts, anyway, and then the couple ended up opening them AT THE PARTY bridal shower style. It was horrible. Luckily, I bought a gift and kept it in the car because I had a hunch something like that would happen.

DFire--There''s nothing wrong with saying "No gifts, please" if you spread the word around by word of mouth. It''s only considered presumptuous if you state anything about gifts *on the invite* because then you are assuming that everyone would be inclined to bring a gift, otherwise. I don''t think people who include "No gifts" on an invite are rude though, just presumptuous. There''s a big difference in my book.

You know your friends best. If they''re real friends, I imagine they''re fine with whatever you chose to do.

 

[Dancing Fire]

i only requested my friends not to bring gifts not the guests that her best friend will be inviting,so i''m sure there will be gifts from those guests.

LUNCH TIME!!

 

[susimoo]

I hope Mrs DF enjoys her day.

PS what did you get her?

From how you are on here she deserves a medal! lol

 

[oddoneout]

I actually laughed at your original post because I know how you''re always joking. I don''t think it''s rude to request no gifts. Happy birthday Mrs. DF.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM
Author: AprilBaby
DF, I am shocked ''old hag'' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/23/2010 10:26:35 AM
Author: CasaBlanca
DF, you have over 11 THOUSAND posts. I know you as well as one can by reading them. You got nothing but a giggle out of me!

I got the lighthearted inference in your post. Actually within just a few words of the same sentence you even used MOMMY which is a term of endearment your kids use for her. A SURPRISE party for Her is endearing on it''s own. (What a thoughtful gesture). Your term OLD HAG didn''t offend me, nor should it have-as I am just the reader. But it did make me giggle and realize you two probably have a great time together as we do.

Endearment for some can be expressed in entendre, double entendre (homograph) or a completely opposite synonyms or antonyms. I shudder to think the boards response to my hubbies and my monikers for one another. We keep one another laughing each day with creative and fun monikers for one another. He continues to teach me a wealth of wonderful words and challenges me to find the correct reply. You and I should open our own thread and exchange them!

Ok, ''you old Geezer'', since you corrected your original post ALLLOWED to PLEASE, (which I did find ALLOWED a bit too harsh) I don''t think you were rude at all. If I were a guest to the soiree I would have immediately gone into present mode thinking and then on to wrapping mode. What is the most perfect gift to give her? I would toil in worry. So with the caveat of no gifts I would have appreciated it greatly. Your gathering is casual and will be shared with friends. None of them will bring an etiquette book and smack you upside the head with it. Just their appreciation for the clarity. There will be some that will say to you, ''I feel terrible that YOU!!! asked that we give her no gifts''. Just their way of dealing with their empty hands. Just smile and say as others suggested, ''Your preSENCE is Present enough'' (there is a word with two meanings huh?)

I think it was thoughtful of you, and it takes the stress off of your wife for feeling her adult birthday burdened people to purchase gifts. Some times surprise gatherings can make us feel selfish or overwhelmed; that everyone went to great lengths to participate, so not presenting gifts is so appropriate, and usually appreciated by all.

So you are good to go in my book.

But you need to know I have no book, really. HA HA HA. So not sure what that book statement means.

Have a wonderful time tonight!

You might share with your beloved how the women on this board came to her defense. She has ''sisters'' she didn''t even know she had defending her! Women, on this board are great people, got everyone''s backs, don''t cha think?

thank you CB.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/23/2010 4:43:28 AM
Author: yssie

Date: 5/23/2010 3:06:20 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/22/2010 7:14:48 PM
Author: choro72
haha, I busted out laughing! Maybe it will help if it was explained that ''Old hag'' is a direct translation of the term ''wife'' in Chinese.
I''m raised in Japan by Chinese parents. My dad once went to the baker to order my mom a birthday cake. He told them the Chinese characters he wanted put on the cake, and they were horrified

As for the note on the invitation, if I was the guest I wouldn''t think much of it, especially coming from you

.

...i knew Americans would take it the wrong way.

Really? I just learnt that ''wife'' and ''handcuffs'' are the same word in Spanish... apparently it''s a pervasive opinion//

yssie,

what you and your SO do in private should not be posted on a jewelry forum. lets try to keep PS a G rated site.

 

[yssie]

Date: 5/23/2010 6:39:25 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 4:43:28 AM
Author: yssie

Date: 5/23/2010 3:06:20 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/22/2010 7:14:48 PM
Author: choro72
haha, I busted out laughing! Maybe it will help if it was explained that ''Old hag'' is a direct translation of the term ''wife'' in Chinese.
I''m raised in Japan by Chinese parents. My dad once went to the baker to order my mom a birthday cake. He told them the Chinese characters he wanted put on the cake, and they were horrified

As for the note on the invitation, if I was the guest I wouldn''t think much of it, especially coming from you

.

...i knew Americans would take it the wrong way.

Really? I just learnt that ''wife'' and ''handcuffs'' are the same word in Spanish... apparently it''s a pervasive opinion//

yssie,

what you and your SO do in private should not be posted on a jewelry forum. lets try to keep PS a G rated site.

...

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 5/23/2010 6:21:14 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM

Author: AprilBaby

DF, I am shocked ''old hag'' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

DF,

You really should start cutting down your rude comments, especially on public forums. I know you think they are just funny but they are really not to many of us.

Zhuzhu

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/23/2010 7:50:30 PM
Author: zhuzhu

Date: 5/23/2010 6:21:14 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM

Author: AprilBaby

DF, I am shocked ''old hag'' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

DF,

You really should start cutting down your rude comments, especially on public forums. I know you think they are just funny but they are really not to many of us.

Zhuzhu

Zhu...what did i say to you?

please use the ignore button.

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 5/24/2010 10:04:18 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 7:50:30 PM
Author: zhuzhu

Date: 5/23/2010 6:21:14 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM

Author: AprilBaby

DF, I am shocked ''old hag'' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

DF,

You really should start cutting down your rude comments, especially on public forums. I know you think they are just funny but they are really not to many of us.

Zhuzhu

Zhu...what did i say to you?

please use the ignore button.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Date: 5/22/2010 6:34:28 PM
Author:Dancing Fire
the old hag is turning 50 tomorrow and our daughters is throwing their mommy a surprise 50th BD party.i told the friends that i had invited 'no gifts allowed',just come for dinner at this restaurant,so am i being rude?

Hi DF,
Thank goodness there's a handful of us "Chinese-Americans" here to defend you! Yes, unfortunately we crazy Chinese people use "old hag" as a term of endearment. In fact, in Taiwan (where I'm from), the full term is "Yellow-faced hag!" and the women call their men "deadbeat". The first time I heard those terms I was shocked because I was raised in the Western Hemisphere for most of my life, but now I think it's hilarious. I guess some things just get lost in translation.

My parents threw me a "No gifts" wedding reception this past December when I finally took dh and my kids back to Taiwan. I had already been married for 9 years, so it didn't make sense. I think they sent an e-mail out saying No gifts will be accepted. So my point is, NO it's not rude.

 

[TooPatient]

Happy birthday Mrs. DF!


DF,

I don''t think it is rude to request no gifts (in this case).

 

[zhuzhu]

Date: 5/24/2010 10:04:18 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 7:50:30 PM

Author: zhuzhu

Date: 5/23/2010 6:21:14 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM


Author: AprilBaby


DF, I am shocked ''old hag'' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

DF,


You really should start cutting down your rude comments, especially on public forums. I know you think they are just funny but they are really not to many of us.


Zhuzhu

Zhu...what did i say to you?

please use the ignore button.

No you didn''t say anything that offended me directly. But I don''t think any women enjoys being called old, like you said about your wife and AprilBaby. Sorry that I snapped, but sometimes cultural-specific humor can easily get taken the wrong way when the group is so heterogeneous, and that''s the point I wanted to make.

Happy birthday to your dear young wife!~

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 5/24/2010 12:33:50 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/22/2010 6:34:28 PM
Author:Dancing Fire
the old hag is turning 50 tomorrow and our daughters is throwing their mommy a surprise 50th BD party.i told the friends that i had invited 'no gifts allowed',just come for dinner at this restaurant,so am i being rude?

Hi DF,
Thank goodness there's a handful of us 'Chinese-Americans' here to defend you! Yes, unfortunately we crazy Chinese people use 'old hag' as a term of endearment. In fact, in Taiwan (where I'm from), the full term is 'Yellow-faced hag!' and the women call their men 'deadbeat'. The first time I heard those terms I was shocked because I was raised in the Western Hemisphere for most of my life, but now I think it's hilarious. I guess some things just get lost in translation.

My parents threw me a 'No gifts' wedding reception this past December when I finally took dh and my kids back to Taiwan. I had already been married for 9 years, so it didn't make sense. I think they sent an e-mail out saying No gifts will be accepted. So my point is, NO it's not rude.

i knew it would.

in Cantonese would be "LO POR". anyway,we all had a great time last night and about a dozen got drunk out of 50 guests.a few of her friends gave her cash as gifts.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Glad you had a great party! Tell your Lo-Por: Shen yat fai lok!

 

[PumpkinPie]

Happy Birthday to your wife!

 

[qtiekiki]

Date: 5/24/2010 12:33:50 PM
Author: jaysonsmom

Date: 5/22/2010 6:34:28 PM

Author:Dancing Fire

the old hag is turning 50 tomorrow and our daughters is throwing their mommy a surprise 50th BD party.i told the friends that i had invited ''no gifts allowed'',just come for dinner at this restaurant,so am i being rude?

Hi DF,

Thank goodness there''s a handful of us ''Chinese-Americans'' here to defend you! Yes, unfortunately we crazy Chinese people use ''old hag'' as a term of endearment. In fact, in Taiwan (where I''m from), the full term is ''Yellow-faced hag!'' and the women call their men ''deadbeat''. The first time I heard those terms I was shocked because I was raised in the Western Hemisphere for most of my life, but now I think it''s hilarious. I guess some things just get lost in translation.


My parents threw me a ''No gifts'' wedding reception this past December when I finally took dh and my kids back to Taiwan. I had already been married for 9 years, so it didn''t make sense. I think they sent an e-mail out saying No gifts will be accepted. So my point is, NO it''s not rude.

"Yellow-faced hag" is used in Cantonese too.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 5/24/2010 10:04:18 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 7:50:30 PM

Author: zhuzhu

Date: 5/23/2010 6:21:14 PM

Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/23/2010 2:12:22 PM

Author: AprilBaby

DF, I am shocked 'old hag' is younger than me! You must be married to a MUCH younger woman than yourself? Have a wonderful party and Happy Birthday to Mrs DF!

April...most of us are!

DF,

You really should start cutting down your rude comments, especially on public forums. I know you think they are just funny but they are really not to many of us.

Zhuzhu

Zhu...what did i say to you?

please use the ignore button.

Too funny!! I am not Chinese and I'm older than Mrs. DF. I quite enjoy your humor. I call myself "the old bag". Hopefully the rest of these "ladies" will have a good enough sense of humor at 50 to laugh at themselves. Bags or hags! Glad your party went well!!