Wedding Alternative to unity candles/sand ceremony

[musincy]

We''re having an outdoor ceremony, and while I LOVE the idea of unity candles, I''m really afraid that it''ll be windy and the candles will be blown out. I know some people have replaced the candles with a sand ceremony... I would do that if I had my wedding at the beach, but don''t know if I like it for a garden ceremony.

Does anyone have any unique suggestions for something else we could do that still represents the same thing?

 

[Elmorton]

We signed the marriage certificate at that point as part of the ceremony. Apparently, in different cultures (I think Mexico is one?) this is the norm, but we''d never seen it done in the U.S.

 

[robbie3982]

I''ve heard of using water.

 

[aprilcait]

We did the arras (coin exchange) ceremony.

 

[musincy]

Date: 7/14/2008 10:45:13 AM
Author: aprilcait
We did the arras (coin exchange) ceremony.

I''ve never heard of that one... how does that work?

 

[aprilcait]

The arras ceremony is something practiced in DH''s family. Here''s some info on the tradition (I really dislike some of the phrasing the author used, but it gives you the basic gist):

The Thirteen Gold Coins (Trece monedas de oro)
The madrina de arras holds the 13 coins the bridegroom presents to the bride. The coins, or arrhea, was a Roman custom of breaking gold or silver, one half to be kept by the woman and the other half by the man, as a pledge of marriage.

The groom gives the bride thirteen gold coins as a symbol of his unquestionable trust and confidence. He pledges that he places all of his goods into her care and safekeeping. Acceptance by the bride means taking that trust and confidence unconditionally with total dedication and prudence.

The custom of the coins originated in Spain. Thirteen gold coins (arras) are given to the bride by the bridegroom, signifying he will support her. Often presented in ornate boxes or gift trays, the coins hold good wishes for prosperity. These coins become a part of their family heirloom.

The number 13 represents Christ and his 12 apostles. The coins are presented to the priest by a friend or relative (usually the purchaser). The priest then blesses the coins and hands them to the bride who places them in the groom''s cupped hands at the beginning of the ceremony. The coins are then placed on a tray and handed to an assistant to be held until later in the ceremony. Near the end of the ceremony the box and coins are given to the priest who places the coins in the box and hands them to the groom.

The groom will then pour the coins into the bride''s cupped hands and places the box on top. This represent his giving her control as his mistress of all his worldly goods. (Sometimes their hands are tied with a ribbon for this portion of the ceremony.)

NOTE: We didn''t have our hands tied together. We also added a part where I poured the coins back into DH''s hands to symbolize our sharing of the the finances/prosperity.

 

[AlliMay]

What about the ceremony of bitter and sweet wines? FI and have good friends that did this and it was really beautiful...there are Bible passages or other readings that can accompany this as well.

 

[doodle]

we''re probably doing a wine ceremony, too. we''ll have each of our families fill a goblet with wine when they first enter, then when it gets to that part of the ceremony, FI and i will each pour part of our family''s wine into a third goblet and both drink from it. the wine we share represents the joining of our two families while the wine left in the first goblets represents our individuality and the unbreakable bond between ourselves and our families.

 

[sweetjettagirl04]

Date: 7/14/2008 2:58:39 PM
Author: doodle
we''re probably doing a wine ceremony, too. we''ll have each of our families fill a goblet with wine when they first enter, then when it gets to that part of the ceremony, FI and i will each pour part of our family''s wine into a third goblet and both drink from it. the wine we share represents the joining of our two families while the wine left in the first goblets represents our individuality and the unbreakable bond between ourselves and our families.

Doodle - I''ve looked and can''t seem to find any wording - we''re most likely having a friend do our ceremony - do you know of any site that actually has what the officant says when this is going on? I really like the idea of this.

 

[AlliMay]

Date: 7/14/2008 2:58:39 PM
Author: doodle
we''re probably doing a wine ceremony, too. we''ll have each of our families fill a goblet with wine when they first enter, then when it gets to that part of the ceremony, FI and i will each pour part of our family''s wine into a third goblet and both drink from it. the wine we share represents the joining of our two families while the wine left in the first goblets represents our individuality and the unbreakable bond between ourselves and our families.

I like the way your wine ceremony sounds, Doodle! Especially the way you are keeping the individual wines to represent your families...very cool!

 

[doodle]

wording

another

this site has many types of unity ceremonies

in my case, i combined the wording from a sand ceremony with that of a wine ceremony i found online. i''m still working out kinks, but thus far, it''s something like this (sorry so long!!):

You have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings. This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual carafes of wine. The first represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. Please pour the wine into this common container to symbolize the union of your two lives.
[Both Pour]
The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. This “Cup of Life” contains within it a wine with certain properties that are sweet and symbolic of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same wine also holds some bitter properties that are symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials and tribulations. Together the sweet and the bitter represent “Life’s Journey” and all of the experiences that are a natural part of it. Those who drink deeply from the “Cup of Life” with an open heart and willing spirit, invite the full range of challenges and experiences into their being.

This “Cup of Life” is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one. Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to running over."
[Chaplain hands glass to groom, who drinks, then hands it to bride, who drinks, who passes it back to Officiant.]


Chaplain: As you have shared this cup of wine, so may you share your lives. Just as this carafe of wine can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be a molding of two individual personalities, bonded together forming one heart, one love. The life that each of you experienced individually will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one.May all the sweetness that it holds for you be the sweeter because you taste it together. May you find life’s joys heightened, it’s bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by God’s blessings upon you.



does this make sense? any suggestions? musincy, i''m sorry if this sounds like a thread jack--i f it''s not helpful for you, i''ll be more than happy to start a new thread! just let me know. i hope some of my rambling helps you out, though!

 

[musincy]

Date: 7/14/2008 4:20:55 PM
Author: doodle
wording

another

this site has many types of unity ceremonies

in my case, i combined the wording from a sand ceremony with that of a wine ceremony i found online. i''m still working out kinks, but thus far, it''s something like this (sorry so long!!):

You have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings. This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual carafes of wine. The first represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other represents you ______, in all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination. Please pour the wine into this common container to symbolize the union of your two lives.
[Both Pour]
The years of life are as a cup of wine poured out for you to drink. This “Cup of Life” contains within it a wine with certain properties that are sweet and symbolic of happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight. This same wine also holds some bitter properties that are symbolic of disappointment, sorrow, grief, despair, and life’s trials and tribulations. Together the sweet and the bitter represent “Life’s Journey” and all of the experiences that are a natural part of it. Those who drink deeply from the “Cup of Life” with an open heart and willing spirit, invite the full range of challenges and experiences into their being.

This “Cup of Life” is symbolic of the pledges you have made to one another to share together the fullness of life. As you drink from this cup, you acknowledge to one another that your lives, until this moment separate, have become one. Drink now, and may the cup of your lives be sweet and full to running over.''
[Chaplain hands glass to groom, who drinks, then hands it to bride, who drinks, who passes it back to Officiant.]


Chaplain: As you have shared this cup of wine, so may you share your lives. Just as this carafe of wine can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be a molding of two individual personalities, bonded together forming one heart, one love. The life that each of you experienced individually will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one.May all the sweetness that it holds for you be the sweeter because you taste it together. May you find life’s joys heightened, it’s bitterness sweetened, and all of life enriched by God’s blessings upon you.



does this make sense? any suggestions? musincy, i''m sorry if this sounds like a thread jack--i f it''s not helpful for you, i''ll be more than happy to start a new thread! just let me know. i hope some of my rambling helps you out, though!

It''s all very helpful!

I think the wine ceremony sounds really unique. Unfortunately, neither of us really drink so I''m not sure that would make much sense for us But feel free to continue discussing!

 

[doodle]

if not drinking is the only thing stopping you, you could always do it with water or juice or something. there are tons of neat unification ceremony ideas out there, though, and i got a lot of hits off google looking for it. best of luck finding something that suits the two of you!! do y''all have any common interest or something that pertains to your relationship (how you met, where he proposed, etc) that could be worked into a unity ceremony?

 

[musincy]

Date: 7/14/2008 5:15:01 PM
Author: doodle
if not drinking is the only thing stopping you, you could always do it with water or juice or something. there are tons of neat unification ceremony ideas out there, though, and i got a lot of hits off google looking for it. best of luck finding something that suits the two of you!! do y''all have any common interest or something that pertains to your relationship (how you met, where he proposed, etc) that could be worked into a unity ceremony?

I actually just did a google search and found some ideas using flowers... that might work for us since we''re doing a garden ceremony. Thanks for all your help!

 

[MustangGal]

I''ve been to a few weddings that did a white rose and a vase, not sure the exact term, but the woman says she will have the vase ready each year on the anniversary, and the guys says something about bringing a rose and a buch of sembolism to go along with that. One of the ones used an antigue vase that had been passed down, so it was neat to be able to use an heirloom.

 

[ladyciel]

I''ve heard of a rose ceremony that isn''t really a unity ceremony in the same sense as the candle, sand and wine ones, but is still nice. The bride and groom exchange roses, and they''re then encourage to use the gift of a single rose to remind the other of their wedding day and their love/promises/etc anytime they hit a rough patch in their marriage. Basically an "I''m sorry, I love you, please remember that you love me" gesture. Here''s the text:

"Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other.

You now have what remains the most honorable title which may exist between a man and a woman - the title of "husband" and "wife." For your first gift as husband and wife, that gift will be a single rose.

In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that for your first gift - as husband and wife - that gift would be a single rose.

Please exchange your first gift as husband and wife. In some ways it seems like you have not done anything at all. Just a moment ago you were holding one small rose - and now you are holding one small rose. In some ways, a marriage ceremony is like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you always remember - the gift of true and abiding love within the devotion of marriage.

_________ and _____________, I would ask that where ever you make your home in the future - whether it be a large and elegant home - or a small and graceful one - that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this truly wonderful occasion you both may take a rose to that spot both as a recommitment to your marriage - and a recommitment that THIS will be a marriage based upon love.

In every marriage there are times where it is difficult to find the right words. It is easiest to hurt who we most love. It is easiest to be most hurt by who we most love. It might be difficult some time to words to say "I am sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose than says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which cannot be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.

__________ and ________, if there is anything you remember of this marriage ceremony, it is that it was love that brought you here today, it is only love which can make it a glorious union, and it is by love which your marriage shall endure."