after a divorce...do women use their maiden name again?

[Dancing Fire]

 

[FrekeChild]

Sometimes.

 

[trillionaire]

I would. I would keep my name in the first place if it didn''t matter to the guy I was marrying. It just sounds like more work to change my name. And regardless, I would always use my maiden name professionally. I like the idea of distance/seperation between my professional and personal lives.

 

[VRBeauty]

Some do, some don''t.

Why do you ask, DF?

 

[HopeDream]

Neither my mom nor my stepmom did.

Once you''ve had a name for 15+ years, I expect it''s hard to change back.

HD

 

[Linda W]

Date: 6/20/2009 12:26:27 AM
Author:Dancing Fire

Why, is your wife getting one???

 

[Kelli]

Most of the divorced women I know still use their ex-husband''s name. I''d use my maiden name though. I''m not even 100% sure I''ll change mine in the first place though.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/20/2009 12:54:58 AM
Author: Linda W

Date: 6/20/2009 12:26:27 AM
Author:Dancing Fire

Why, is your wife getting one???

nahhh...she don't wanna pay me alimony,plus i get 1/2 of her pension.

 

[lyra]

Haha. It's different for everyone. I prefer my married name, no one has ever asked me how to spell it! I wouldn't go back to my maiden name for that reason alone.

Plus it is my kid's last name, so that's a factor too.

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 6/20/2009 12:46:44 AM
Author: VRBeauty
Some do, some don''t.

Exactly.

For me, it would depend on which name I liked better

 

[justginger]

Both my maiden name and my ex-husband''s name are terribly difficult to pronounce and spell -- so in my case, I immediately reverted because there was no perk to keeping his name. It only made me unhappy and I was glad to "be myself" again.

I did find it interesting to learn that women can legally use their maiden names for their entire lives, despite having been married and "officially" changing it. There is no process involved in order to go back to your birth name.

 

[atroop711]

I know some who went back to their maiden and others who kept their ex''s last name (mostly because they want to have the same last name as their kids)

 

[Sabine]

My mom kept her married name for 9 or so years after they got divorced, and just recently (as in last month) she finally decided to go back to her maiden name.

 

[diamondringlover]

I would keep my married name because of my kids.

 

[icekid]

Date: 6/20/2009 12:35:36 AM
Author: FrekeChild
Sometimes.

Ditto

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/20/2009 8:02:32 AM
Author: justginger
Both my maiden name and my ex-husband''s name are terribly difficult to pronounce and spell -- so in my case, I immediately reverted because there was no perk to keeping his name. It only made me unhappy and I was glad to ''be myself'' again.

I did find it interesting to learn that women can legally use their maiden names for their entire lives, despite having been married and ''officially'' changing it. There is no process involved in order to go back to your birth name.

Really? I didn''t know that...I figured you had to go through the same process as far as showing the divorce decree to Social Security and banks, credit card co''s, etc. I guess I thought that because I work with securities/investments, and there have been times when I have to submit name change forms for women who''ve divorced and they always ask for a copy of the divorce decree, just like they do when women marry and they ask for a copy of the marriage cert. Huh. That gives me hope...I''m going through a divorce right now and was worried about going through all the name change stuff again.

I will go back to my maiden name. I don''t see the point in keeping someone else''s last name whose life I am no longer a part of, and also we did not have children so it''s not like I am worried my last name wouldn''t match theirs. Further, since it was not an amicable marriage I would really rather not have any ties to him at all.

 

[VegasAngel]

Some do some don''t. I would change back to my maiden unless I moved out of my city.

 

[D&T]

my sister did not change back for the children's purposes ie: school, other paperwork without all the hassles of proving that she was their mother or legal guardianship.

 

[Octavia]

Date: 6/20/2009 11:08:23 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/20/2009 8:02:32 AM

Author: justginger

Both my maiden name and my ex-husband's name are terribly difficult to pronounce and spell -- so in my case, I immediately reverted because there was no perk to keeping his name. It only made me unhappy and I was glad to 'be myself' again.


I did find it interesting to learn that women can legally use their maiden names for their entire lives, despite having been married and 'officially' changing it. There is no process involved in order to go back to your birth name.

Really? I didn't know that...I figured you had to go through the same process as far as showing the divorce decree to Social Security and banks, credit card co's, etc. I guess I thought that because I work with securities/investments, and there have been times when I have to submit name change forms for women who've divorced and they always ask for a copy of the divorce decree, just like they do when women marry and they ask for a copy of the marriage cert. Huh. That gives me hope...I'm going through a divorce right now and was worried about going through all the name change stuff again.


I will go back to my maiden name. I don't see the point in keeping someone else's last name whose life I am no longer a part of, and also we did not have children so it's not like I am worried my last name wouldn't match theirs. Further, since it was not an amicable marriage I would really rather not have any ties to him at all.

Monnie, it varies by state (and by country, of course). If you've officially changed your name with the state, you'll probably have to petition to change it back, but it's usually a lot easier than petitioning to change your name for any other reason -- it's usually okayed immediately (often along with the divorce decree) and you probably won't have to go to court separately for it. You'll need the court order to change on your drivers' license, and then for SS and all the other stuff. I don't know if justginger is in Canada, since it's much easier in most Canadian provinces. Either that, or the women she speaks of may never have changed their names legally in the first place, but just adopted their husbands' names for social use (which is also pretty common). I don't know of any US state that lets you change back without documentation, though there might be -- I've done a lot of research on name-changing but not for every single state.

 

[movie zombie]

yes, and some of us keep it after we marry again.

mz

 

[vespergirl]

I went back to my maiden name after my divorce, but when I remarried I took my new husband''s last name.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

My mom did not go back to her maiden name. I doubt that I would if DH and I split up (God forbid

!), I would want the same last name as my kids.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/20/2009 1:41:20 PM
Author: Octavia

Date: 6/20/2009 11:08:23 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/20/2009 8:02:32 AM

Author: justginger

Both my maiden name and my ex-husband''s name are terribly difficult to pronounce and spell -- so in my case, I immediately reverted because there was no perk to keeping his name. It only made me unhappy and I was glad to ''be myself'' again.


I did find it interesting to learn that women can legally use their maiden names for their entire lives, despite having been married and ''officially'' changing it. There is no process involved in order to go back to your birth name.

Really? I didn''t know that...I figured you had to go through the same process as far as showing the divorce decree to Social Security and banks, credit card co''s, etc. I guess I thought that because I work with securities/investments, and there have been times when I have to submit name change forms for women who''ve divorced and they always ask for a copy of the divorce decree, just like they do when women marry and they ask for a copy of the marriage cert. Huh. That gives me hope...I''m going through a divorce right now and was worried about going through all the name change stuff again.


I will go back to my maiden name. I don''t see the point in keeping someone else''s last name whose life I am no longer a part of, and also we did not have children so it''s not like I am worried my last name wouldn''t match theirs. Further, since it was not an amicable marriage I would really rather not have any ties to him at all.

Monnie, it varies by state (and by country, of course). If you''ve officially changed your name with the state, you''ll probably have to petition to change it back, but it''s usually a lot easier than petitioning to change your name for any other reason -- it''s usually okayed immediately (often along with the divorce decree) and you probably won''t have to go to court separately for it. You''ll need the court order to change on your drivers'' license, and then for SS and all the other stuff. I don''t know if justginger is in Canada, since it''s much easier in most Canadian provinces. Either that, or the women she speaks of may never have changed their names legally in the first place, but just adopted their husbands'' names for social use (which is also pretty common). I don''t know of any US state that lets you change back without documentation, though there might be -- I''ve done a lot of research on name-changing but not for every single state.

Ohhh...ok, thank you Octavia, for your response. I didn''t figure it would be so easy, guess I was right. It''s fine, though, I''ve gotten used to plowing through all the paperwork involved with seemingly everything in life, so what''s another thing to deal with, ha ha!

 

[joflier]

I''m going back to my maiden name. I already use it on unofficial things.

 

[blueroses]

Date: 6/20/2009 8:02:32 AM
Author: justginger

I did find it interesting to learn that women can legally use their maiden names for their entire lives, despite having been married and ''officially'' changing it. There is no process involved in order to go back to your birth name.

I know this has been addressed already, but wanted to add my $.02. One of my best friends just divorced after four 1/2 years (no kids.) The day the divorce was final she went back and forth between SS and the DMV--it took two trips each, but by the end of the day she was BACK to her maiden name. Not automatic, but not too hard. We went out that night with her other best girlfriends to celebrate her return.

 

[radiantquest]

i was very excited to change my name to my husbands name when we got married, but it took alllll day. i sat in the ss building for 3 hours waiting my turn. i was so excited that i just sat there staring at my wedding band. i have a feeling that i wouldnt be so excited to change it back. i would probably keep his out of laziness

 

[Irishgrrrl]

After I divorced my ex, I dropped his name like a hot potato.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/20/2009 8:11:50 AM
Author: atroop711
I know some who went back to their maiden and others who kept their ex''s last name (mostly because they want to have the same last name as their kids)

what if she has a few ex''s

then what,flip a coin?

 

[VRBeauty]

Life is a bit easier for the male of the species, no? He never worries about things as weighty as whether to keep or change a name upon marriage... or divorce, for that matter. He can father

dozens of kids without having to worry about his figure... and if he plays his -er, cards - er - right - he wouldn't ever have to spend any time or money on any of them. Leaving lots of time and money for other pastimes...

 

[justginger]

Sorry if I gave misleading information. I am in Australia and all I had to do to change back to my maiden name was send a certified copy of my passport (in my maiden name) to the DMV. Same with all of my banking and various accounts; a passport in that name was all that was necessary to go back to being me!