Advice needed re: Promotion

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi!

I've been offered a promotion at work and I'm extremely excited! It was a bit unexpected but it's a good move for me and my career. If I accept the offer, I would move into the position on Jan. 1, 2012. Here is my dilemma. DH and I are adopting and the baby is due to be born on Jan. 8. While I know that my job is protected under FMLA for the adoption, I still feel badly about being on leave so soon after beginning the new position. Although I feel bad, I will take my leave as expanding our family is my #1 priority over this or any job. Before the promotion was offered, I intended to inform my supervisor about the impending adoption on Jan. 2.

Backstory: We've had 2 failed adoptions this year and while the company has been great about it all, I can't help but feel like the "girl who cried wolf" or baby, lol. I know it isn't my fault and there is nothing I could have done differently, but up until now, I just felt like I should wait until the last possible second to say anything in an effort to keep it very quiet at work. The less people that know the better. DH and I haven't even told our families about this baby. Oh, and before the promotion, me being out on short notice was not a big deal so I didn't feel guilty about waiting until the last minute to tell them. The new position isn't quite like that which is a big source of my guilt in waiting.

So, when do you suggest I tell them about the baby? Now? When I accept the offer? On Jan. 2 like I originally intended?

I appreciate your advice!

 

[NovemberBride]

IG,

Congrats on your promotion and your impending adoption. I would not feel guilty about taking the promotion, but I would also not wait until Jan. 2 to tell your bosses that you are taking FMLA. That does not really provide them enough time to prepare for your prolonged absence. I realize there could be situations where someone could be out suddenly without notice, but this is not one of them and I think it is only fair to provide as much notice as possible. If you were pregnant, you would obviously be notifying your work before the week the baby is due. That said, I do understand your feelings given all that you have been through this year and I would just tell my supervisor and ask them only to tell others on a "need to know" basis.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,
Congrats on your promotion. In your post you mentioned that 2 other possible adoptions occurred in the recent past, so don't you think the powers that be are aware of your situation? I would not mention it right now, but I agree that it should not be last minute.
I also hope that congratuations are in order for your new baby.

Annette

 

[TooPatient]

IG,

Congrats on your promotion and your impending adoption. I would not feel guilty about taking the promotion, but I would also not wait until Jan. 2 to tell your bosses that you are taking FMLA. That does not really provide them enough time to prepare for your prolonged absence. I realize there could be situations where someone could be out suddenly without notice, but this is not one of them and I think it is only fair to provide as much notice as possible. If you were pregnant, you would obviously be notifying your work before the week the baby is due. That said, I do understand your feelings given all that you have been through this year and I would just tell my supervisor and ask them only to tell others on a "need to know" basis.

I think this is really your best option.

You want the promotion and they want you to have it (otherwise they wouldn't have offered) so you shouldn't just turn it down.
They do deserve to know in advance what is going on so that they can make arrangements as needed. I'm sure they are familiar with what you've been through this last year and will appreciate your being upfront with them.

Good luck!
I hope they are understanding and supportive so that you don't have to turn down a promotion as you care for your new baby.
Good luck with the adoption too!

 

[sonnyjane]

Just another poster in favor of giving more notice. I'm actually about to go out for a few weeks for medical reasons and I gave them almost 8 weeks notice because my job is really hard to fill, even temporarily. I'm a big fan of open communication in the workplace.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

IG,

Congrats on your promotion and your impending adoption. I would not feel guilty about taking the promotion, but I would also not wait until Jan. 2 to tell your bosses that you are taking FMLA. That does not really provide them enough time to prepare for your prolonged absence. I realize there could be situations where someone could be out suddenly without notice, but this is not one of them and I think it is only fair to provide as much notice as possible. If you were pregnant, you would obviously be notifying your work before the week the baby is due. That said, I do understand your feelings given all that you have been through this year and I would just tell my supervisor and ask them only to tell others on a "need to know" basis.

Thank you for your congrats NovemberBride! I really can't, in good conscious, wait until Jan. 2. I know that informing them is the fair way to go about handling this. I most certainly will ask my supervisor to keep the information quiet and only tell essential personnel. Thanks for your input!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hi,
Congrats on your promotion. In your post you mentioned that 2 other possible adoptions occurred in the recent past, so don't you think the powers that be are aware of your situation? I would not mention it right now, but I agree that it should not be last minute.
I also hope that congratuations are in order for your new baby.

Annette

Hi Annette,

Thank you for the congrats on the job. I know that they aren't aware of the adoption. After the last failed adoption, we told our employers that we were waiting until 2012 before trying again. A new match presented itself that we just couldn't pass up and since the baby is due in 2012, I didn't feel the need to say anything up until now. As of Monday, Nov. 21, the baby will be 7 weeks away from being due. I think that is the best time to spill the beans since it's also when I'll accept the offer. Thanskfor weighing in and I, too, hope that congratulations will be in order in January!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

IG,

Congrats on your promotion and your impending adoption. I would not feel guilty about taking the promotion, but I would also not wait until Jan. 2 to tell your bosses that you are taking FMLA. That does not really provide them enough time to prepare for your prolonged absence. I realize there could be situations where someone could be out suddenly without notice, but this is not one of them and I think it is only fair to provide as much notice as possible. If you were pregnant, you would obviously be notifying your work before the week the baby is due. That said, I do understand your feelings given all that you have been through this year and I would just tell my supervisor and ask them only to tell others on a "need to know" basis.

I think this is really your best option.

You want the promotion and they want you to have it (otherwise they wouldn't have offered) so you shouldn't just turn it down.
They do deserve to know in advance what is going on so that they can make arrangements as needed. I'm sure they are familiar with what you've been through this last year and will appreciate your being upfront with them.

Good luck!
I hope they are understanding and supportive so that you don't have to turn down a promotion as you care for your new baby.
Good luck with the adoption too!

Thanks for weighing in TooPatient! You are right, they do deserve to know. I just hope that my planning to be out for a few weeks won't affect things.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Just another poster in favor of giving more notice. I'm actually about to go out for a few weeks for medical reasons and I gave them almost 8 weeks notice because my job is really hard to fill, even temporarily. I'm a big fan of open communication in the workplace.

Thanks Sonnyjane. I've decided to let them know on Monday which will give 7 weeks of notice. It's the right thing to do! Thanks for chiming in.