Wedding Advice from you brides please!

[Independent Gal]

I''m going to a friend''s wedding in a couple of weeks. As some of you know, I''m pregnant with twins, so I''ve got a rather big belly going here and there is no way any of my usual evening wedding appropriate dresses are going to work. I do have one ''work'' dress that is kind of borderline evening. It''s a purple stretchy jersey fabric (which I wouldn''t normally wear in the evening) with a v-neck, and gorgeous flowy layered sleeves with a loopy black velvet rope belt. It''s a beautiful dress and very flattering to the pregnoid form, but maybe a little on the casual side for an evening wedding.

So here''s my question: Would you be pissed if your pregnoid friend showed up at your wedding slightly under-dressed? Would you expect her to go out and buy a formal maternity dress for that one event? If it were me and my pregnant friend was making the effort and going to the expense of coming to my wedding, I couldn''t give a rat''s a$$ if she wore her pj''s. But then, I couldn''t give a rat''s a$$ about a lot of things at my wedding that other brides seem to care about so I thought I better ask you ladies.

BTW, this friend is usually way chilled out, but I don''t know how she is with wedding stuff.

Thanks for any advice!

 

[ladyciel]

Personally, I wouldn''t mind AT ALL. But, in the interest of appeasing anyone more picky than I am, is there any way you might be able to dress it up with jewelry, a brooch, etc? If not, I certainly wouldn''t sweat it. You''ll be glowing as preggo ladies are apt to do, and that glow could probably overshadow even a potato sack.

 

[MaggieB]

I''ve had two friends pregnant with twins in the last three years and we''ve all attended multiple weddings. I did not hear any snarky comments about what they were wearing, and they were definitely not at their most fashion forward! I think that most people tend to give pregnant women a pass, since it just isn''t that easy to find an elegant maternity dress past a certain size belly bump.

 

[StarbuttsKoffee]

I''ll be very glad my pregnoid friends show up at my wedding no matter how they dress!

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks guys. I''m hoping I''d get a bit of a pass. Fab-o clothes are kind of a ''thing'' with me, so the idea of being under dressed... or for that matter being anything other than fabulously dressed for an event freaks me out!!

I absolutely looooove the ''bling it up'' idea, Ladyciel! I was actually thinking about getting some big fun pieces of jewelry to make my somewhat colour-block, boring maternity wardrobe more fun, anyway. The thing about that is that I can keep wearing those things after I return to normal-human-size.

And by the way, if only I were glowing. I think ''pizza-faced hippo'' comes more easily to mind.

Anybody have any differing view? Or other ideas?

 

[StarbuttsKoffee]

Congratulations on your twins by the way! Happy pregnancy

 

[neatfreak]

Indy I think the dress sounds great. It's not like you are asking for a pass to wear jeans and a t-shirt ya know? I think what you are describing sounds totally fine.

I've been all about dressing up my very boring preggo wardrobe with jewelry. It makes a big difference!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Great shoes and great jewelry, maybe a nice wrap (if that matches the dress) and you will be better dressed than many of the other attendees... have you seen the average guest attire at many weddings?

 

[Sabine]

I think it sounds totally appropriate.

 

[Maisie]

I think you will look lovely. There is nothing more beautiful to me than a baby bump! If you came to my wedding I wouldn''t care what you wore. It would be lovely to see you.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 9/15/2008 9:43:22 AM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Great shoes and great jewelry, maybe a nice wrap (if that matches the dress) and you will be better dressed than many of the other attendees... have you seen the average guest attire at many weddings?

I was going to say with a nice wrap, no one would care! and i think you should go in what you are confortable wearing


btw - congrats on twins!

 

[pjean]

It definitely sounds fine to me. I think it would be hard to find a friend who wouldn''t appreciate the effort of attending her wedding while carrying two extra people around.

And I third (or fourth, or whatever we''re up to) the jewelry idea.

 

[bee*]

I wouldn''t care what my pregnant friends would wear to my wedding. I''d just be thrilled they could make it.

 

[Gypsy]

I wouldn''t care, would just be thrilled she made it out.

 

[Independent Gal]

Thanks everyone! I feel so much better about it now.

My sister and father are both going to be in NYC this week, so I'm going to go meet up with them, and maybe sis and I can go hunting for fun fabulous jewelry so I look dressier and more appropriate (and feel beautiful-er too hopefully)!

Sadly, heels are out since my sense of balance is pretty wonky at the moment too, so maybe I'll also invest in a pair of fancy ballet flats. Also re-wearable, so I'd feel OK about that too.

 

[brooklyngirl]

I''m a bit late to the thread, but ITA with the other posters. I wouldn''t care what my preggo friend wore to my wedding, I''d just be happy that she were preggo to begin with .

As long as you''re comfortable with your outfit (which sounds quite lovely), go ahead and wear it!

 

[crystalheart1]

Congratulations with your pregnancy and TWINS !!!

Don''t give your dress ( which actually sounds very pretty ) a moment of fret.

Just your presence being there is what is important.

Help your friend celebrate her special day and focus on having a nice time

 

[geckodani]

Totally late to this party but - congratulations first of all on your twins!

I''m with the previous suggestion of just blinging it up with a nice purse, and some funky ballet flats in deference to balance issues.

Your presence is the most important thing!

 

[musey]

I wouldn't mind a bit. To be fair, though, our wedding is supposed to be semi-formal in theory (cocktail dresses at a minimum, suits for the guys) and I'm absolutely sure we'll have at least a few guys in khakis and button-downs, probably a few in jeans, too

and I don't really care.

I'm still not sure how people are supposed to know how formal they're expected to dress. We've had a couple of people ask, and that's what I always do, but the rest (I'm sure) are completely clueless.

Meh.

 

[isaku5]

Date: 9/15/2008 2:40:17 PM
Author: musey
I wouldn''t mind a bit. To be fair, though, our wedding is supposed to be semi-formal in theory (cocktail dresses at a minimum, suits for the guys) and I''m absolutely sure we''ll have at least a few guys in khakis and button-downs, probably a few in jeans, too

I''m still not sure how people are supposed to know how formal they''re expected to dress. We''ve had a couple of people ask, and that''s what I always do, but the rest (I''m sure) are completely clueless.

Meh.

Semi-formal used to mean cocktail dresses and good suits, but now, unless specified, it means "no jeans". Too bad.


Way back in 1963 (before most of you were born

), I was asked to be a BM in my friend''s wedding. She knew I was pregnant and would have been about 7 months along by the wedding, but she said it didn''t matter to her. Nowadays, it doesn''t matter so much, but back then you were supposed to wear tent-like apparel "to hide the obvious". Times have changed, thank goodness. At our son''s wedding in 1985, one of the BM''s was almost 9 months and ready to give birth at any time. She bought an extra yard of fabric and the bridal store adjusted the dress accordingly. No, she didn''t have the baby during the wedding, but very soon after.

Okay, so given the fact that I''m old-ish, I''d just be thrilled that you made the effort to attend.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 9/15/2008 2:40:17 PM
Author: musey

I''m still not sure how people are supposed to know how formal they''re expected to dress. We''ve had a couple of people ask, and that''s what I always do, but the rest (I''m sure) are completely clueless.

I don''t know if you were really asking or if this was rhetorical, but I always thought that a small note the invitation or one of the inserts was how the dress code was conveyed...

 

[CNOS128]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I''m one of those brides who feels uncomfortable controlling every aspect of the day - so I''d say as long as you didn''t wear a long, white dress I''d be happy.

Great shoes and jewelry are definitely the answer. And a great handbag, of course.


Have fun!

 

[musey]

Date: 9/15/2008 4:40:31 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 9/15/2008 2:40:17 PM
Author: musey
I'm still not sure how people are supposed to know how formal they're expected to dress. We've had a couple of people ask, and that's what I always do, but the rest (I'm sure) are completely clueless.

I don't know if you were really asking or if this was rhetorical, but I always thought that a small note the invitation or one of the inserts was how the dress code was conveyed...

I originally thought so, too, but I was told that it's improper to list attire guidelines on an invitation or insert. Supposedly people are to take cues from the formality of the invitation... but I honestly don't think the average layman (at least not in our circle/age group) is able to do so. I wouldn't be if I weren't going through the wedding planning process myself!

Besides, in these days of cutting budget corners, people are sending out really informal invitations to their quite formal weddings. Earlier this year, I got an invitation printed (um, in comic sans font) on a piece of standard computer paper, folded in half, and stuffed in an envelope with four registry cards. One might think this were a pajamas-only wedding, but the wedding party were in tuxes and evening gowns.

I had to pack an extra outfit in my car just in case I felt inappropriately dressed. I had NO idea what to do.

 

[musey]

P.S. Indy, sorry for the threadjack! It sounds like you''re settled though.

I don''t think I ever congratulated you on your pregnancy!! And TWINS! Your family is going to double. What wonderful news

 

[Independent Gal]

Date: 9/15/2008 5:19:44 PM
Author: musey
...Earlier this year, I got an invitation printed (um, in comic sans font) on a piece of standard computer paper, folded in half, and stuffed in an envelope with four registry cards. One might think this were a pajamas-only wedding, ...

No probs re the threadjack and thanks for your goodwishes.

Right now I''m just thinking "PJ WEDDING!!! WHY DIDN''T I THINK OF THAT?!"

How much fun would that be? Plus, no alterations.

Thanks to all of y''all. I''m feeling soooo much better. Plus, so excited about shopping for new flats and jewelry in NYC with my sis!

 

[musey]

Date: 9/15/2008 5:48:40 PM
Author: Independent Gal

Date: 9/15/2008 5:19:44 PM
Author: musey
...Earlier this year, I got an invitation printed (um, in comic sans font) on a piece of standard computer paper, folded in half, and stuffed in an envelope with four registry cards. One might think this were a pajamas-only wedding, ...

No probs re the threadjack and thanks for your goodwishes.

Right now I''m just thinking ''PJ WEDDING!!! WHY DIDN''T I THINK OF THAT?!''

How much fun would that be? Plus, no alterations.

Thanks to all of y''all. I''m feeling soooo much better. Plus, so excited about shopping for new flats and jewelry in NYC with my sis!

And think of the CUTE CUTE "bridal" pajamas you could wear!

You could take the reception straight into a slumber party. BRILLIANCE!

 

[Blair138]

Independent Gal-Rock whatever you can, as a bride, if one of my friends was pregnant with twins, she could rock whatever she wanted as long as she was comfortable enough to come

 

[honey22]

I think you will be fine. As long as you do the whole makeup/hair thing and add some funky/blingy accessories, then most people won''t even think you are underdressed. You can totally transform an outfit with the right accessories, so if you find the right ones, then you will be fine!

And, I personally think preggo woman look gorgeous, so be happy with your look and enjoy the wedding!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Indy, I wouldn''t be upset by what guests wore, that''s their call. Especially pregnant guests! What you describe doesn''t sound inappropriate anyway, it sounds really attractive.

All that said, you could always have a look at this site. http://www.isabellaoliver.com/maternity-clothes/evening-maternity-wear/D/30000/P/2:200:2020

I wouldn''t have left the house when I was pregnant if it hadn''t been for this company. They do formal wear, evening wear, wedding wear and bridal. All gorgeous!

Jen