Wedding A little, tiny bit ticked off…

[Shoopy]

Before I was engaged I told my best friend that my FI and I had set a date for December 5, 2009. She told me it was ridiculous for me to set a date when we weren’t engaged.

Ok, fine. Some people feel that way. No biggie.

Then I get engaged and as we were talking about wedding plans, she made sure to tell me that I cannot plan my wedding until hers was over. I got annoyed but just responded with “well my date isn’t until December 5 of next year so I won’t start until December of this year.” Her wedding was scheduled for November 29, 2008. Bridezilla? Yes. Harmful? No.

She then changes her wedding date till March and asked if I would have time to help plan hers and mine at the same time. Again I remind her that the date is December 5 and I will be in the middle of planning but still “glad” to help her. Again, Bridezilla? Yes. Does it bother me to help? No.

She has now changed the date again.

Want to guess what date she chooses?

December 5, 2008.

Anyone want to take a guess as to the drama I’m going to go through if my wedding falls on her one year anniversary? Or the comments that my FI made about not wanting to have the same wedding date as her?

 

[noelwr]

eek! your anniversaries are going to fall on the same day. I think that''s quite freaky. maybe instead of she always telling you what to do, you should turn around and tell her that you don''t want her wedding day to be the same as yours (even if it''s a year apart).

but the good news is at least you will have all of 2009 to plan your wedding without worrying about hers.

 

[decodelighted]

Oh boy ... people are so crazy!! Even ones that are usually normal - just go all crazy when it comes to weddings. AIGH.

Okay. Did you ask her if she''ll be okay attending your wedding on her 1st anniversary? If she''s *really* thought it through? My first anniversary was near my sister''s 35th birthday party & I actually attended her girl spa weekend solo on the day itself. Most people probably think that''s crazy but DH was okay with it -- we celebrated a day early.

I don''t think it would bother me if a friend had the same month/day wedding anniversary - cuz I don''t celebrate ANYONE else''s anniversary (though my in-law''s still expect my DH to celebrate theirs

) ... and, honestly, I don''t think its that well known after all is said & done. People aren''t really comparing dates into old age yanno?

There''s a part of the whole thing that''s flattering. Only your day sounded "right" to her. It gave her confidence to select it. Too bad she''s not as independent & trend-setting as you are!

 

[doodle]

maybe i''m evil (i have this realization at least once a day...hmm...hehe), but i''d tell her, "i can''t help plan a wedding for someone who would steal my date out from under me, so you might want to look elsewhere for a minion. i''ll be busy planning my wedding for december 5, 2009". maybe if she realizes you have no intention of moving your wedding date just for her, she''ll move hers again. honestly, if my best friend told me i wasn''t allowed to start planning my wedding until hers was over, i''d tell her to kiss my...ascot.

 

[sunnyd]

Whaaaaat?!?!?!

I''d ask her why she chose the same date! Joking like, just to see what she''d say...whoa. Just whoa.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Well, i recently realized my date is a screw up!

Day after bestfriend (MOH) birthday and day before other close buds b''day....I can''t believe I didnt'' realize that. I asked MOH last week what she wanted to do for her birthday and she said, "I guess nothing". I said why not and she replied errr, it''s the 26th the day before your wedding DOH!!! I don''t know what I was thinking....

 

[Shoopy]

I haven''t asked her yet about the whole sharing a date. Knowing her, it''ll most likely be a problem. She''s supposed to be my MOH and hence that would be the problem. At least if she were just attending as a guest, they could make an appearance and leave.

I have to laugh at the whole thing because its just crazy. Of all dates, she chooses that one. Not December 6 which would be a Saturday or even December 7 on a Sunday. Nope, December 5th that lands on a Friday.

Friends...LOL

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:25:26 AM
Author:fieryred33143

Before I was engaged I told my best friend that my FI and I had set a date for December 5, 2009. She told me it was ridiculous for me to set a date when we weren’t engaged.

Ok, fine. Some people feel that way. No biggie.

Then I get engaged and as we were talking about wedding plans, she made sure to tell me that I cannot plan my wedding until hers was over. I got annoyed but just responded with “well my date isn’t until December 5 of next year so I won’t start until December of this year.” Her wedding was scheduled for November 29, 2008. Bridezilla? Yes. Harmful? No.

She then changes her wedding date till March and asked if I would have time to help plan hers and mine at the same time. Again I remind her that the date is December 5 and I will be in the middle of planning but still “glad” to help her. Again, Bridezilla? Yes. Does it bother me to help? No.

She has now changed the date again.

Want to guess what date she chooses?

December 5, 2008.

Anyone want to take a guess as to the drama I’m going to go through if my wedding falls on her one year anniversary? Or the comments that my FI made about not wanting to have the same wedding date as her?

NOOOOO! fiery what a total B%tch!!!!!!! seriously.

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:35:51 AM
Author: doodle
maybe i'm evil (i have this realization at least once a day...hmm...hehe), but i'd tell her, 'i can't help plan a wedding for someone who would steal my date out from under me, so you might want to look elsewhere for a minion. i'll be busy planning my wedding for december 5, 2009'. maybe if she realizes you have no intention of moving your wedding date just for her, she'll move hers again. honestly, if my best friend told me i wasn't allowed to start planning my wedding until hers was over, i'd tell her to kiss my...ascot.

ITA!! I'm sorry but there is no way I could keep my mouth shut for this one.

I noticed that the Nov date would have been a Saturday, was the March date also one? I find it VERY strange that she "all of a sudden" switched to a Friday night, not to mention it just so happened to be the one you have set for the following year... from my experience with weddings, usually the couple has strong reasons for wanting one or the other.

I'm forseeing lots of anniversary parties, that she throws for herself and expects you to show up to, in your future...

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:41:09 AM
Author: iwannaprettyone
Well, i recently realized my date is a screw up! Day after bestfriend (MOH) birthday and day before other close buds b''day....I can''t believe I didnt'' realize that.

My poor sister had to suck it up & celebrate her 34th b-day at my night-before-wedding-bachelorette party! We had a cake for her at least. UGH. That''s part of the reason I pre-celebrated my own 1st anny to help her celebrate the next one in style.

But, yeah, it''s gonna be that way forever... I don''t know why I didn''t think of it either. We used to celebrate each others birthdays with each other at least SOME years, but now my anniversary will always be the same weekend. SIGH.

(p.s. -- it wasn''t arbitrary for us ... we picked the usual peak of leaf-peeping season in our area .. which is famous for that & the best time to visit. It just happened to be my sister''s b-day weekend & (sigh) a few days before my parent''s own anniversary. Now I''m feeling bad too!!

Sorry for the hijack! )

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:44:48 AM
Author: meresal

Date: 8/25/2008 11:35:51 AM
Author: doodle
maybe i''m evil (i have this realization at least once a day...hmm...hehe), but i''d tell her, ''i can''t help plan a wedding for someone who would steal my date out from under me, so you might want to look elsewhere for a minion. i''ll be busy planning my wedding for december 5, 2009''. maybe if she realizes you have no intention of moving your wedding date just for her, she''ll move hers again. honestly, if my best friend told me i wasn''t allowed to start planning my wedding until hers was over, i''d tell her to kiss my...ascot.

ITA!! I''m sorry but there is no way I could keep my mouth shut for this one.

I noticed that the Nov date would have been a Saturday, was the March date also one? I find it VERY strange that she ''all of a sudden'' switched to a Friday night, not to mention it just so happened to be the one you have set for the following year... from my experience with weddings, usually the couple has strong reasons for wanting one or the other.

I''m forseeing lots of anniversary parties, that she throws for herself and expects you to show up to, in your future...

That is exactly what I''m thinking! It''s not a big deal if its on the same date but knowing her she will want me to be there for her anniversary parties and it''ll always be a situation where she got married "first"

Her excuse was that it was the only date that both places were available. Turns out that her FI hates the menu of her reception area so they have to change the entire thing. So jokingly I said "good I''ll get my date back" and her response was "well I still think it''ll be that Friday because its cheaper to travel.

She can sometimes be a "spaz." She forgets things all the time and when she remembers she doesn''t really apologize for it. She kind of just changes the subject.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:49:34 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/25/2008 11:41:09 AM
Author: iwannaprettyone
Well, i recently realized my date is a screw up! Day after bestfriend (MOH) birthday and day before other close buds b''day....I can''t believe I didnt'' realize that.

My poor sister had to suck it up & celebrate her 34th b-day at my night-before-wedding-bachelorette party! We had a cake for her at least. UGH. That''s part of the reason I pre-celebrated my own 1st anny to help her celebrate the next one in style.

But, yeah, it''s gonna be that way forever... I don''t know why I didn''t think of it either. We used to celebrate each others birthdays with each other at least SOME years, but now my anniversary will always be the same weekend. SIGH.

(p.s. -- it wasn''t arbitrary for us ... we picked the usual peak of leaf-peeping season in our area .. which is famous for that & the best time to visit. It just happened to be my sister''s b-day weekend & (sigh) a few days before my parent''s own anniversary. Now I''m feeling bad too!!

Sorry for the hijack! )

Don''t feel bad. That to me is a weekend celebration bonanza

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/25/2008 11:49:42 AM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/25/2008 11:44:48 AM
Author: meresal

Date: 8/25/2008 11:35:51 AM
Author: doodle
maybe i'm evil (i have this realization at least once a day...hmm...hehe), but i'd tell her, 'i can't help plan a wedding for someone who would steal my date out from under me, so you might want to look elsewhere for a minion. i'll be busy planning my wedding for december 5, 2009'. maybe if she realizes you have no intention of moving your wedding date just for her, she'll move hers again. honestly, if my best friend told me i wasn't allowed to start planning my wedding until hers was over, i'd tell her to kiss my...ascot.

ITA!! I'm sorry but there is no way I could keep my mouth shut for this one.

I noticed that the Nov date would have been a Saturday, was the March date also one? I find it VERY strange that she 'all of a sudden' switched to a Friday night, not to mention it just so happened to be the one you have set for the following year... from my experience with weddings, usually the couple has strong reasons for wanting one or the other.

I'm forseeing lots of anniversary parties, that she throws for herself and expects you to show up to, in your future...

That is exactly what I'm thinking! It's not a big deal if its on the same date but knowing her she will want me to be there for her anniversary parties and it'll always be a situation where she got married 'first'

Her excuse was that it was the only date that both places were available. Turns out that her FI hates the menu of her reception area so they have to change the entire thing. So jokingly I said 'good I'll get my date back' and her response was 'well I still think it'll be that Friday because its cheaper to travel.

She can sometimes be a 'spaz.' She forgets things all the time and when she remembers she doesn't really apologize for it. She kind of just changes the subject.

LOL!! Cheaper to travel, yeah, if you travel on a Thursday and come back on a Monday... and that would be missing 2/3 days of work for people out of town. She sounds like a total piece of work.

If you even said something about it in front of her, then she is oboviously showing "selective memory." I'm really sorry, I understand how much these things can be bothersome.

I have a friend that is just ecstatic with the idea of getting married. Her wedding is March 14th, she has her dress, she's making the center pieces, and has venues paid for, and he hasn't even proposed yet. (I know many people do this, but she is totally different, I promise) I was talking to her the weekend after I got engaged and she mentioned the expense of my all time favorite 80's cover band, that I have been saying I wanted to play at my reception for almost 2 yrs. Being taken a'lil aback, I questioned, "How do you know the price?" She replied while looking over to her BF, "We'll we really wanted to have them at our reception but we can't afford them, because their prices went up." My jaw dropped right to the table.

I was so hurt that she would even think of using someone that I wanted for so long. She is just so wrapped up in her own "stuff" she never thought about anyone elses feelings and still isn't. (I'll leave out how pissed off the bridal sales woman was getting at her this weekend. Way out of line on my friends part.) When I moved to Houston, our friendship became a strained one to say the least...

ETA: How did everything go at the venue this weekend?!!??!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 8/25/2008 12:30:31 PM
Author: meresal

LOL!! Cheaper to travel, yeah, if you travel on a Thursday and come back on a Monday... and that would be missing 2/3 days of work for people out of town. She sounds like a total piece of work.

If you even said something about it in front of her, then she is oboviously showing ''selective memory.'' I''m really sorry, I understand how much these things can be bothersome.

I have a friend that is just ecstatic with the idea of getting married. Her wedding is March 14th, she has her dress, she''s making the center pieces, and has venues paid for, and he hasn''t even proposed yet. (I know many people do this, but she is totally different, I promise) I was talking to her the weekend after I got engaged and she mentioned the expense of my all time favorite 80''s cover band, that I have been saying I wanted to play at my reception for almost 2 yrs. Being taken a''lil aback, I questioned, ''How do you know the price?'' She replied while looking over to her BF, ''We''ll we really wanted to have them at our reception but we can''t afford them, because their prices went up.'' My jaw dropped right to the table.

I was so hurt that she would even think of using someone that I wanted for so long. She is just so wrapped up in her own ''stuff'' she never thought about anyone elses feelings and still isn''t. (I''ll leave out how pissed off the bridal sales woman was getting at her this weekend. Way out of line on my friends part.) When I moved to Houston, our friendship became a strained one to say the least...

ETA: How did everything go at the venue this weekend?!!??!

Oh man it went well and that scares me LOL

I knew I was going to love it. I loved the photos and what you can do with the place. I didn’t know how my FI was going to feel. As we were driving up to it, he hated it. He started complaining that there were too many boats in the area (its on the bay), that you had to pay a toll to get over ($1.50) and that the building looks rundown.

Then we got inside and he was in love. He’s normally a very quiet person. He doesn’t comment much and takes everything in. But boy was he talking LOL. He loved it to pieces.

The scary part though is what he wants to do after seeing the place. Originally, I was going to ask for the downstairs semi-private room because its easier to decorate and fits a smaller party (min is 30). The upstairs room has a min of 50 but its beautiful. The windows are from the floor to the ceiling with a TDF view of Miami. After seeing that, he wants the upstairs room. Then, I want an afternoon ceremony because its cheaper. He now wants an evening ceremony because you can see the city lights better. He was talking about the venue all weekend. He must have said “I loved the Pelican” like 50 times.
How did it go for you??

 

[meresal]

Confusing to say the least...

First choice: We have been to a reception there and we both really love it. However, for 3 rooms the minimum is 15,000++ (20% and 8.25% tax). This is about 18,000 and over 3/4ths of our ideal budget. We have room to add, but I think 25K is more than generous. It is also right downtown and will be great for hotel and downtown attractions for Friday after RD, and Saturday after the reception. Also, they only charge $10/pp for premium beer, wine, liquor. (appr $75 x 200 = right at minimum)

Second: Rangers Stadium. (Which FI loves

, and I really like as well) It''s 17,000 sq ft, and includes and entire 3 level eating area that overlooks the field, another entire buffet area, a dance floor that is elevated and will make it quieter for people that aren''t trying to be drowned out by music, and then 2 other bar areas. One of the bar areas has a balcony that is about 50 ft long where you can go stand above center field. Also, for $150/hr they will have all the lights in the stadium on, to have the field lit up while the reception is going on. ***Problem is, they don''t have receptions on game night, so we have to wait until October to find ut what our options are. This means we would be left with only 8 or 9 months to book photo, DJ, bakery, etc***. Ohh ya, the minimum is only 5,000 here, but all their beer/wine/mixed drinks are by the bottle/glass. This is not near downtown, about 20 mins away.

Third: Museum of Modern Art
Is a huge open area, and the main lobby costs $5000 just to rent!!!

However, this place would be absolutely gorgeous at night. It has a still pond and floor to ceiling windows that over look it. About 5 min drive from downtown.



Want to offer any help. LOL!!!

 

[lliang_chi]

Fiery,

I grew up in Miami, and we used to go to The Rusty Pelican for special family occasions. I have to say that''s a fantastic venue. I haven''t seen it in years, but go you if you can get it

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Date: 8/25/2008 12:30:31 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 8/25/2008 11:49:42 AM

Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/25/2008 11:44:48 AM

Author: meresal

Date: 8/25/2008 11:35:51 AM

Author: doodle

maybe i''m evil (i have this realization at least once a day...hmm...hehe), but i''d tell her, ''i can''t help plan a wedding for someone who would steal my date out from under me, so you might want to look elsewhere for a minion. i''ll be busy planning my wedding for december 5, 2009''. maybe if she realizes you have no intention of moving your wedding date just for her, she''ll move hers again. honestly, if my best friend told me i wasn''t allowed to start planning my wedding until hers was over, i''d tell her to kiss my...ascot.

ITA!! I''m sorry but there is no way I could keep my mouth shut for this one.

I noticed that the Nov date would have been a Saturday, was the March date also one? I find it VERY strange that she ''all of a sudden'' switched to a Friday night, not to mention it just so happened to be the one you have set for the following year... from my experience with weddings, usually the couple has strong reasons for wanting one or the other.


I''m forseeing lots of anniversary parties, that she throws for herself and expects you to show up to, in your future...

That is exactly what I''m thinking! It''s not a big deal if its on the same date but knowing her she will want me to be there for her anniversary parties and it''ll always be a situation where she got married ''first''


Her excuse was that it was the only date that both places were available. Turns out that her FI hates the menu of her reception area so they have to change the entire thing. So jokingly I said ''good I''ll get my date back'' and her response was ''well I still think it''ll be that Friday because its cheaper to travel.

She can sometimes be a ''spaz.'' She forgets things all the time and when she remembers she doesn''t really apologize for it. She kind of just changes the subject.

LOL!! Cheaper to travel, yeah, if you travel on a Thursday and come back on a Monday... and that would be missing 2/3 days of work for people out of town. She sounds like a total piece of work.

If you even said something about it in front of her, then she is oboviously showing ''selective memory.'' I''m really sorry, I understand how much these things can be bothersome.


I have a friend that is just ecstatic with the idea of getting married. Her wedding is March 14th, she has her dress, she''s making the center pieces, and has venues paid for, and he hasn''t even proposed yet. (I know many people do this, but she is totally different, I promise) I was talking to her the weekend after I got engaged and she mentioned the expense of my all time favorite 80''s cover band, that I have been saying I wanted to play at my reception for almost 2 yrs. Being taken a''lil aback, I questioned, ''How do you know the price?'' She replied while looking over to her BF, ''We''ll we really wanted to have them at our reception but we can''t afford them, because their prices went up.'' My jaw dropped right to the table.

I was so hurt that she would even think of using someone that I wanted for so long. She is just so wrapped up in her own ''stuff'' she never thought about anyone elses feelings and still isn''t. (I''ll leave out how pissed off the bridal sales woman was getting at her this weekend. Way out of line on my friends part.) When I moved to Houston, our friendship became a strained one to say the least...


ETA: How did everything go at the venue this weekend?!!??!

Meresal, are you talking about the spazmatics? Because if so, I gotta say that I wouldn''t really care if a friend had "called" them for their wedding... I''d use them anyway because I love them! They''re a really awesome band, and so well known, that it would be like calling "pink" for a wedding color and getting mad at someone else for using it. If they''re some unknown band, then I would agree that it''s kind of weird.

Fiery, I think it''s weird that she picked your date. If this weren''t the friend that had done soooooo many other weird things, I would think it was no big deal and just one of those things that worked out that way since December is a hard month to find the perfect weekend. However, she''s been such a freak show with you, that I''m not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I suspect she''s doing it out of some weird kind of competetion or control thing that I cannot comprehend - like she''s going to bring it up constantly the week of YOUR wedding how it is HER anniversary and try to take the attention away from you. I know I probably won''t even think about my friend''s anniversaries though when I pick my date; it hadn''t even crossed my mind to consider it. They''ve been married for a bit though, and I don''t think it would be a big deal to them since it''s nothing like your situation.