A little of those PS good vibes or dust, please?

[YadaYadaYada]

So sorry for your loss

 

[monarch64]

I’ll respond more to you guys later. My daughter is with me tonight and she was really upset when I told her. I need to keep it together for her right now. Love to you all!

 

[HGar]

Monarch my deepest condolences to your family for the loss of your Dad. Over the next few days you will cry, laugh, reminisce and cry some more but you can keep in your heart that he is still with you - just not in a physical sense.

My Dad’s Minister advised us to keep our eulogy to around 8mins - he said he found any longer and people started to fidget. We sat with our Mum and she told us all about their time together from their first date to when we arrived and then we added our memories from that point on.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

So Sorry to hear of your loss. Love to your family and daughter. Think of all the good times and celebrate his life.

Annette

 

[rainwood]

Monnie, I am so sorry. Losing your dad is hard.

And consider that maybe you don't have to keep it together for your daughter. It's okay to let them see you cry and be unhappy because they know why. And it lets them know it's okay to feel what you need to feel and so can they. Your daughter can be sad with you, and mourn her grandpa.

I spoke at my husband's celebration of life. I'm so glad I did and I'd make the same decision again. I also spoke at my mother's and MIL's. Here are some practical suggestions.

1. Write it out, write the whole thing out so you can read it if you need to, and the chances are you will need to. And it's totally okay to read it.
2. Practice it several times (I'd say at least 3 or more) so you know the parts where you get emotional, and you'll probably need to pause and take a deep breath at those parts. It's also okay to stop for a bit and compose yourself. It will seem like an eternity when you do, but it's not. Take whatever time you need.
3. Go first if you can. It's easier to go first.
4. The length doesn't matter so much as saying what you want to say. Much of mine was funny because that's what I tend to do. You should tell stories that other people might not know about him, tell them what made your dad your dad to you. At my MIL's, I talked about knowing her 45 years and I only saw her without her lipstick twice - both times in the hospital. Everyone started smiling and nodding their heads because it was so her. Find those moments to talk about. They don't have to be big things, they don't all have to be all good things. They just have to be the things that made up his life, who he was, and what you'll remember.

You'll do a great job, Monnie, and you'll be very glad you spoke. And proud of yourself the way your dad would have been.

 

[Missy]

Monnie I am so sorry for your loss.

Sending you and your daughter love and gentle hugs.

 

[rcjtraveler]

So very sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

I am sorry for your loss, monnie. My deepest condolences.

It's very comforting to know that he went peacefully. (((Hugs)))

 

[tyty333]

I'm so sorry @monarch64 . Wishing you peace and fond memories of your loved one.

 

[yssie]

Thinking about you today Monnie. I hope you and your daughter are holding up okay

 

[monarch64]

Thinking about you today Monnie. I hope you and your daughter are holding up okay

Thank you so much, @yssie . I’m doing ok, and my daughter is in good shape. It wasn’t a total shock to her, as I’ve been factually letting her know what’s been happening for the past couple weeks as far as my dad’s health. Kids are hopeful, though, and she and her Poppy had a tight bond. I never got to know either one of my grandfathers so I am forever grateful that she and my niece got to spend so much time with my dad.

How’s this for bad timing: I’m moving house (locally) this week/weekend. On top of working lots of crazy hours and worrying about my dad, I’ve been packing and trying to purge/downsize for the new, smaller space, and just got the keys today. It’s overwhelming, but I just keep telling myself “baby steps,” like Bill Murray in What About Bob. Not complaining, it’s just so much to deal with at once. My ex has (as usual) stepped in and is helping however he can, which is great. We are still good friends and it’s such a blessing.

I want to address those who gave me encouragement and advice on the eulogy separately soon, but for now I just want to thank you all and please know that I’m reading and hearing your very kind words and excellent advice. You all are wonderful and those tips are going to be tremendously helpful as I prepare my tribute.

My dad once said that he was going to leave everything to the Humane Society; he really loved animals. People always wanted to hunt deer on the family property and he’d never agree to it. We only kept cows for a few years—I think he didn’t like knowing what happened to them after we raised them from calves to teens and sold them at auction. My brother didn’t either. After that we just had horses and kept some for other people who couldn’t afford to stable theirs anymore. Dad loved birds, deer, all the critters, and especially kitties. In honor of that I am looking forward to volunteering at a local shelter this spring.

I don’t mean to drone on and on about my dad here, but I’m on limited time and am kind of using this as an outlet, maybe sounding board, to see what I want to speak about at his service. Thanks for reading if you want, and don’t feel obligated if you don’t. I know it’s upsetting for some and I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s sadness.

 

[maita13]

I’m grateful to you for sharing your dad’s story, what’s he like, his compassion, empathy and demeanor. I feel as if I got to know him, even just a little, through your stories of a remarkable man who lived and loved well. Warmest and tightest hugs to you, @monarch64

 

[Arcadian]

I'm so sorry you lost your dad @monarch64

 

[Patty]

I’m so sorry for your loss, monarch. Your dad sounds like he was a wonderful man.

 

[Calliecake]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I’m so sorry to read about your dad @monarch64. Please take good care of yourself and your daughter.

 

[aljdewey]

Mon, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the knowledge that your dad lived a full and rich life will be a cornerstone of comfort for you even as you will miss his presence here.

The only other thing I can offer is this: I've known you here for years now, and I'm so proud of you and your growth on your life's journey. If I can feel this way about you, I can only imagine how very proud your dad must have been. The love he had for you is super evident in the stories you tell.

You were blessed to have him, and he was blessed that you are his daughter. I know that pieces of him will live on through you and your memories of him for the rest of your days.

Big hugs to you.

 

[Bonfire]

So sorry for the loss of your beloved dad Monnie.
He lives on in your heart and in your beautiful daughter.

 

[nala]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[kenny]

Monnie, I too am sorry for your loss.

 

[Kim N]

I'm so sorry, Monnie. Hugs and my deepest sympathies.

 

[peacechick]

Deepest condolences. It must be a comfort that he passed peacefully. I hope the service went smoothly.