Does Your Family Know?

[minousbijoux]

I realize there may be others here who share my secret, and thought I would find out. Okay, deep breath. Here goes. No one in my family knows of my love of gemstones. I have loved colored gemstones since I was a little girl. I went through a period where I was making and selling beaded gemstone and pearl jewelry. My family knew, and thought it was cute; that sooner or later, I would come to my senses and go back to my "real vocation", which I did, to live. That jewelry business sufficed for a while but I realize now, it was just filling in for my one true love, colored gemstones.

I come from a family that "gives back" by being teachers, public servants, constitutional rights lawyers and doctors. I was one of those until recently being laid off. I'm afraid they'll think I am shallow or self indulgent for collecting stones and wanting to pursue a career path involving them. Some of my best friends know, but I think it would be easier to tell my family that I'm an alcoholic (for example) than to tell them I'm into gemstones! Apart from those who respond by saying "why do you care what they think," - and by the way, they're right - do any of you find yourselves in a similar situation? I don't hang out with a crowd that wears gemstone jewelry - I think there is only one sibling in my family that has a diamond/gemstone ER. And I don't wear a lot myself. But I love the gemstone rings and earrings I have as well as all the stones I have collected. I can only imagine what my family would think.

Now your turn - are your friends like you? Would your parents/family make any judgements - good or bad - about your fetish/hobby/obsession? I can't wait to hear from you!

 

[justginger]

Oh they know, all right! It's directly my parents' fault that I am the way I am. My mother has been in love with jewelry since she was a little girl - she tells stories of going to her grandmother's house and playing in her jewelry box. Hence, I grew up playing in HER jewelry box! And Dad was the best of husbands...the kind that bought her a lovely piece of jewelry for every special occasion. So they 'get it,' though the new path of colored diamonds has them spinning a bit. They can't understand getting such small stones for such big prices and leaving them unset. I like just looking at them in gem cases though.

My friends? They don't get it. None of them are like me. They appreciate diamonds in engagement rings, but that satisfies their bling needs. Every time I get something new, I'm met with chuckles. Then again, I do the same when they come in every Monday talking about a new purse or shoes.

 

[Black Jade]

Yes--they have kind of picked up on the fact that I'm always buying new jewelry.
They think it's funny.
women in my culture all like jewelry, but unlike me they get to the point where they have enough--that hasn't seemed to happen to me.
They don't think i'm frivolous and they aren't judgmental. I think they would be if I shopped myself into debt or wasn't feeding my kids or things like that, or if I were shopping behind my husband's back or something. But as it is they just think its a harmless and amusing glitch.
and they come find me when they need to get something in the way of jewelry--because they know I know where the deals are.

 

[diamondringlover]

My friends and family know about my obession, my love of jewelry started when I was quite young, my mom and both sisters all have beautiful jewelry...my friends just roll their eyes at me when I start talking about jewelry..I have one friend who doesnt like jewerly at all, but her Mom always wants to find out what I get for Christmas, because she likes sparklies.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

The people who live with me know, and extended family such as my sisters and mother do notice a new item every now and then. But I tend to not talk about it much so people won't think I am NUTS!!! It's my hobby and I have always loved it since I was a child. But I always keep in mind that no one else is particularly interested in my hobby, so no use in boring people when I can come here and talk about jewelry as much as I want with like-minded people!

 

[Dandi]

Yep, they all know, likely because my mum is a bling junkie too! Most of her jewellery is a gift from me, or that I have helped dad pick out for her. It's her fault, she created a monster

My collegues all know and all my friends. It's just me, who I am and what I love. Someone found a gold and gemstone ring on the floor at work the other day, and she came straight to me to ask who it belongs to, as I tend to take note of these things I rattled off the owner's name immediately, she got her ring back, and everyone was happy! See, it has its benefits.

 

[Trekkie]

In my case it's a genetic illness. My parents were similarly afflicted.

My dad used to spoil my mother rotten. He worked in a town an hour and a half away from where she lived, so he would see her infrequently. He would make up for it by sending her jewellery catalogues with the instruction to "pick something".

When my dad and stepmom got engaged he demanded a diamond engagement ring because she asked him.

My stepmom is 73 and wears jewellery every day, even if she'll just be working in the garden. She's the only person I know who will wear an antique pearl necklace and matching earrings just to prune her rose bushes.

So uhm, yes. I received my first gold jewellery (24kt!) when I was born and bought my first diamond when I was only a teenager. The disease has only grown worse since then and my loved ones happily enable it. For birthdays my BFF gives me stones and my inlaws give me cash so that I can set them. Last Christmas my dad gave me a beautiful yellowwood jewellery box he had made himself and inside it was an itty bitty diamond.

I can't imagine having to hide my obsession. I mean, if I hid it, how would anyone know what to get me for birthdays?

 

[Porridge]

Oh yes they know! They think I'm an eccentric weirdo but they politely feign interest while I prattle on

 

[JewelFreak]

My family doesn't care -- each has unique hobbies that approach obsession. Far from gems, but they understand. DH thinks I'm wacked out but so what!

None of my friends understand at all. Once I excitedly showed 3 or 4 of them my latest acquisitions -- I would've seen more enthusiasm over a batch of peas from the garden! I actually felt a little embarrassed. Sometimes I fear they're thinking I'm wasting a ton of hard-earned money on this (not that it's their business or that I care), but I'm sure I spend less on a wonderful stone than some of them on their recent cruise. So now I keep my mouth shut. That's why I come here!!

Minou -- GO FOR IT! If you want to try a career in gems, make yourself happy. We see articles all the time about people who used the setback of a layoff as an opportunity to do what they dreamed. Usually their families were initially skeptical as heck, advising they'd starve as, say, a baker, but because they loved it & kept at it, they made a go of it. You've got what it takes.

--- Laurie

 

[missy]

My family knows and while I am the only one in the family as passionate about jewelry they understand. Though I do think they shake their heads at times and wonder where I came from LOL. If I didn't look so much like my dad I think they would wonder if I share the same genetic material.

My dh gets it because he is passionate about collecting watches- so he enjoys beautiful things as much as I do.

 

[yennyfire]

My family knows and doesn't really approve. They think that having an ering, wedding band and a RHR are "enough". They don't understand why I want different bands to mix and match and why I obsessively browse jewelry sites. I come by my addiction honestly enough. My grandmother loved bling and would let me play in her jewelry box as a child. She gave me most of her favorite pieces when she passed because she knew I'd appreciate them (and it didn't go over well with her daughter or other granddaughters)....

I am ashamed to admit that I will not wear new jewelry when I know that I'm going to see my Mom or sister, just to avoid a lecture about how I am frivolously spending money. I'm so glad that I found PS so that I can openly share my passion for gorgeous bling!

 

[Porridge]

Minou -- GO FOR IT! If you want to try a career in gems, make yourself happy. We see articles all the time about people who used the setback of a layoff as an opportunity to do what they dreamed. Usually their families were initially skeptical as heck, advising they'd starve as, say, a baker, but because they loved it & kept at it, they made a go of it. You've got what it takes.

+1!

 

[minousbijoux]

I am ashamed to admit that I will not wear new jewelry when I know that I'm going to see my Mom or sister, just to avoid a lecture about how I am frivolously spending money. I'm so glad that I found PS so that I can openly share my passion for gorgeous bling!

Oh, oh! This is so me! I am particularly obsessing about it right now because my parents are about to come for a visit and I'm trying to figure out what to do - come clean, or hide everything

Laurie and Porridge: thanks for the words of encouragement! I don't know if I have the courage to take the big leap, but your kind words mean a lot.

Anyone else want to weigh in on their family/friends?

 

[minousbijoux]

One more thing to add - I am just about always met with a bland stare when I say how happy/frustrated/exhilarated I was to get my latest [fill in the blank] stone. Most people say "what?, huh? Oh that's nice..." Its so disappointing! At her request, I recently showed a friend a tray of gems I had - she picked out a beautiful glowey cuprian tourmaline I got from Roger Dery and said "I just love aquamarine!" When I explained that it was cuprian and...well that was about as far as I got and I could see she was no longer interested I JUST DON'T GET IT! How could you have a tray of gems in front of you and be bored?!! Its not like looking at photos of someone's cruise, for crying out loud!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Only DH, my other friends would probably think I was shallow...

 

[Skippy123]

The people who live with me know, and extended family such as my sisters and mother do notice a new item every now and then. But I tend to not talk about it much so people won't think I am NUTS!!! It's my hobby and I have always loved it since I was a child. But I always keep in mind that no one else is particularly interested in my hobby, so no use in boring people when I can come here and talk about jewelry as much as I want with like-minded people!

this exactly, every word! I do have 2 people that know I love jewelry but I don't talk to anyone else about it except PS'ers

 

[shihtzulover]

My parents know about my love for diamonds, but I kind of hold back a little bit, because they don't understand at all. They know roughly how much my fiancé spent on my engagement ring and I know that they think we went overboard - they even commented about how we could have gotten a new car with that money (not that we need a new car now). They basically think that it's a lot of money to waste on sparkly little objects. It doesn't help that my mom doesn't really wear any jewelry at all, and has never been interested in anything other than plain sterling silver chains and the like. My dad even bought her a $100 necklace with little diamonds in it for their anniversary a few years ago, and she thought that it was too dressy for her.

They also don't understand the point of spending a lot of money on brand-name clothes, and they definitely think that it's weird to spend a lot of money on designer handbags and the like. My mom thought it was crazy when I told her that I bought a small $200 Coach bag, so I definitely hold back about some of my even larger purchases.

 

[minousbijoux]

Feeling much better now!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My family knows and doesn't really approve. They think that having an ering, wedding band and a RHR are "enough". They don't understand why I want different bands to mix and match and why I obsessively browse jewelry sites. I come by my addiction honestly enough. My grandmother loved bling and would let me play in her jewelry box as a child. She gave me most of her favorite pieces when she passed because she knew I'd appreciate them (and it didn't go over well with her daughter or other granddaughters)....

I am ashamed to admit that I will not wear new jewelry when I know that I'm going to see my Mom or sister, just to avoid a lecture about how I am frivolously spending money. I'm so glad that I found PS so that I can openly share my passion for gorgeous bling!

I've worn my jewelry and know that it's been frown upon. It kinda kills me that the reason I wasn't wearing my earrings and thus lost them or had them stolen was because having them on meant being judged by certain people. I finally wore my pendant recently at a gathering and one of the people who thinks badly because I own any diamonds made snide comments. I don't talk to anyone about my jewelry but I now do wear the diamond earrings I was given to as a gift around some people but have had to take them off around that one person I just mentioned. I hate that I have to hide them but some people are relentless.

 

[Amys Bling]

Terrible you can't wear your jewelry around certain people.

 

[warmdiamondlove]

The only person other than my husband who knows about my obsession with jewelry is my mom! lol Otherwise I don't talk to friends or any other family members about it. They would probably think I am nuts but hey, they spend their time shopping for shoes or purses or clothes... So I guess its the same thing.

 

[JewelFreak]

I JUST DON'T GET IT! How could you have a tray of gems in front of you and be bored?!! Its not like looking at photos of someone's cruise, for crying out loud!

I'm with you! Wonder the same thing! Feel sorry for the poor souls.

--- Laurie

 

[Enerchi]

My immediate family (DH, DD and DS who is still at home) all think I'm nuts. Who would want more than 1 ring, 1 necklace, 1 bracelet, etc. I do not believe I am related to these people....

My mother and sister, however, are of the same mind as me. We all enjoy a sparkle or two - we are a clutch of magpies when it comes to jewelry!

Friends like to look but just don't "GET" the *earthshatteringimportanceofallthingsblingy* but smile and glaze if I speak more than a sentence on anything jewellry related.

I'm with Minousbijoux - who could possibly be bored looking at gems/jewels/stones/trinkets??? They just make us all twitter with happiness!

 

[Ara Ann]

Yes, my family knows I have gone through several wedding sets, since my wedding ring was stolen about 5 years ago...I FINALLY have my forever ring and hope their snarky remarks about me 'getting new rings every week' die down soon.

My niece recently became engaged - her ring is beautiful, although her fiance paid too much for it, for its size etc., and my sister was aghast that he spent so much money on her ring...but I defended my niece and her fiance for getting it for her, saying, "It's what she wanted, it's beautiful, be happy for her!" And my sister replied, "Well of course YOU would feel that way!" Meaning 'rings' are important to me, but are frivolous. Whatever. it's their problem....I love my bling and am not frivolous, each piece has meaning and makes me happy.

 

[Pandora II]

Not just my family but everyone I know!

My father and grandfather are/were both very interested. My grandfather commissioned pieces for my grandmother and bought gemstones on his travels - sapphires from what was then Ceylon, pearls from Bahrain, garnets from Bohemia...

I grew up reading my father's gemmology books and going mineral hunting in disused mines.

My father took up jewellery classes after he retired and buys stones from me for his setting classes (I got fed up of watching him try and set crappy 0.99p eBay stones that fell to bits they were so included!)

Last year I graduated as a gemmologist. My husband is super-proud and his family all rely on me to produce any bling required for weddings etc

People are always fascinated - at my husband's work events the reaction is always amazing when I say what I do (and they realise that I am not a germologist or jammologist). It's like telling people that you deal in treasure.

I don't actually wear much jewellery - at most a strand of Mikimoto pearls and matching studs, a RHR with 3 OECs (c. 2.20ctttw) and my tsavorite e-ring and w-band. I occasionally wear the odd brooch or a different pair of earrings, but I own very little jewellery. On the other hand I have a fair size safety deposit box at the bank full of stones!