Hi All!! Help me Please!! Little time!!!

[Lollipop]

Ok, here is my situation. My g/f and I have been living together for a little over 1 yr. We have been together for almost 5 1/2 yrs. I couldn''t wait any longer, so I went out and bought a ring. I picked it up last Friday and It has been killing me holding it this long. Anyways, my g/f have a party on Sat for her family and a party pm Sunday for my family to go to. Friday night I want to give her the ring and make it special and on Sat and Sun we can announce it to everyone at the parties. Anyways, I don''t want to make something seem out of the ordinary because she will catch on, so I want it to be a suprise. So I told her we are going to a Chinese restaurant one of our favorites on Friday night. I am planning on doing it there. My two Ideas were one was to get some hard Chinese Noodles and spell out Will you Marry Me on the plate and have them bring it out to her. The other is that when they bring out the menu, before hand earlier in the day I can get a copy of the menu and change some things on it and at the bottom of the menu it says Will You Marry Me. I persoanlly think the Menu Idea is great, But I wanted to know if anyone can give some advice or something to add or better. I am so nervous and I want it to be nice. The Chinese Restaurant is a small one and very quiet not to many people I am going to ask for a room in the back where we can sit down on cushions in front of a table.

Help me with some feedback.

 

[ShopDiva]

I like the idea of putting it on the menu! Another possibility could be having them put it in a fortune cookie and bring it out after dinner on a silver platter! That way she will actually be able to eat the meal!

I'm excited for you.. GOOD LUCK! Let us know

 

[sumi]

I love the fortune cookie idea!!! Now, you just have to figure out how to get the darn fortune in the cookie.


I think the menu idea would work better than the noodles. I'd just be worried that the noodles might move on the plate when it's brought to the table, and that might ruin the whole thing.


The timing is so great. You'll be able to share the happy news with both families right away. Also, it's SO FUN to show off the e-ring when you first get it. I bet she will love showing it to both families.

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes!

 

[chialea]

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On 4/21/2004 7:29:16 PM sumi wrote:

I love the fortune cookie idea!!! Now, you just have to figure out how to get the darn fortune in the cookie.



I think the menu idea would work better than the noodles. I'd just be worried that the noodles might move on the plate when it's brought to the table, and that might ruin the whole thing.

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I believe there are companies who can do the cookie thing for you, or who can sell you things to do it yourself. A quick google search turns up fortunecookiesupply.com and e-fortunecookie.com for starters.

As for the noodles, if the restaurant you're going to even has em (the ones I've been to generally do not), you can fix the movement problem with a little black bean sauce or something of a similar consistency. It'll also make a nice striking backdrop, as it's dark brown. Just smear the plate with it, fairly thin but enough to cover, and set the noodles in there. If it has time to dry out a bit, even better.

I wish my boyfriend were going to do something so romantic, but I think I'm just as happy that he's completely incapable of keeping secrets!

Lea

 

[hoorray]

You may not have time to have custom fortune cookies made, but I love that idea, as well as the menu idea. (Assuming she reads the whole menu since you go there a lot). btw...I had customer fortune cookes done for me for a going away party once, and there was a 10 lb minimum. That turned out to be HUNDREDS of cookies since they are so light weight. Maybe you can just extract and replace a fortune from an existing cookie. Get a bunch to try -- you'll probably break a few

.

 

[chemnut]

Personally I would make a homemade fortune cookie and put the ring inside with a note saying, "Will you marry me."

 

[wallace]

Fortune Cookie is cute but he said he has little time - so that may not suffice. I like the menu idea because it is charming and easy to arrange with less chance for mishaps. You could create something really beautiful and memorable that could serve as a memento.

However, do you want to do it at the beginning of dinner? You might not get through it (eat before you go)! You could put it in the desert menu? Does she eat desert - does she even like fortune cookies? the noodle sound like a lot of work and no gurantee, as mentioned above - move too much.

I knew a girl who was going to ask her BF to marry her. THey liked to hike and she had the whole thing planned - the ring was in a bandaid paper in the First Aid kit. She feigned a blister and pretended to need to stop. Because it was sunset and they were near the top - he got frustrated and started telling her what a baby she was... Well, it worked out in the end, but sometimes these plans can backfire if you don't hink of the silly detials - like - does she eat desert/fortune cookies?

 

[ShopDiva]

Yeah I think you could get the fortune into the cookie! Lops right, get a whole bunch of f-cookies and practice putting "will you marry me" in it and pulling the old fortune out. Some have pretty large openings so...good luck!OR....another idea just popped into my head, since most people read cookies aloud to each other anyway, you can put "yes" in her cookie, she'll read it then read yours "will you marry me?" could work? If f-cookies don't work do the menu.

yay!!

 

[Lollipop]

Anyone ever taking a loan to pay for the ring? I took a loan for my ring, but it will be paid off in 1 yr or less. Good or bad?

 

[ShopDiva]

Whats your percentage rate? Who did you finance it through? My fiance' and I just backed out of a diamond purchase this morning (thanks to advice from this forum)but they were going to charge 21% interest on a $4600 diamond for 1yr. Thats the WORST % you can get, payments would have been 466 a mo. and in the end we would have paid about $5500

. Now I think finacing through the jewler is a bad idea. You could get a credit card with 0% interest for a year or another option, depending on your bank, may offer a low % rate too. Thats just my experience with it! Really it depends on the % rate you got! Let me Know

 

[Lollipop]

I took the loan from my credit Union and the Interest rate is around 10%. I have it set to pay off in 2 yrs. However, I am getting a nice chunck of change back from Income Tax and that is going directly towards it so I might have it paid off in a yr or less

Good?

 

[Nicrez]

Why on EARTH is anyone taking a loan out to buy a LUXURY good?! If you don't have the money in hand, please consider saving up and waiting, OR don't get it until you can afford it.

DeBeers tells you you need one to be engaged. how about a nice promise ring? Tiffany's have lovely silver and silver and gold rings for under $200. If your budget can afford that, why not do that instead of WASTING money buying something with money you DON'T have...Please.

Everyone thinks it's OK to be in debt and pay interest. It isn't beneficial, if you calculate how much you will pay your whole life to banks and companies in interest and rates, it is SUCH a waste of money!

Please please please, just think about it in terms of starting a relationship with the best foot forward, and not a debt. You don't take out loans to buy birthday gifts, do you? The most important gift you give someone should be given from what you earned, saved and put away, not borrowed. It defeats the point of the sacrifice of buying it. Basically the BANK bought you a ring, and you are paying them back. Where's the sacrfice in that, instead it's a waste of money. When you come to Price Scope you look for a deal. Well you won't get a deal in a loan with even 10%. You might as well have spent that extra money on a larger rock! Sorry...people please think about it. *breathes*

*steps off soapbox*

 

[Lollipop]

I understand all about the loan. You have to understand though, this isn't the beginning of a relationship. We have been going out for over 5 yrs now, we are living together already and are very happy. I took out a loan last yr for $2300 to go on vacation and was set to pay it back in 1 yr. My payments were $200 a month for 1 yr. So they are only gaining $100 interest on it. How bad is that? This loan I have for the ring is for 2 yrs and most likely I will have it paid off it less than a yr as well. I am very bad when it comes to saving or putting money away, I just spend it because I know it is there. However, paying bills I am excellent at. I always make payments on time and usually pay more then what the payment is.

I have 2 friends who were going out for less then 2 yrs and both are engaged. It hurts because this is over 5 yrs and we are still not engaged. I will have the ring paid off before we actually have the wedding. I have been wanting to do this for the last yr or so and I want to start a family start a life together. Is that bad?

 

[Nicrez]

Lolli, absolutely not! You should have a ring, but I can't even fathom taking a vacation with a loan to fund it. I did it once as a kid, my sister and I went to Spain, and I used my credit card for eberything. Since I am not a saver, it took me 4 years to pay that debt off. I think I could have had at least two more trips on the interest paid!

What I am sad about is that if you are a good payer, then why not pay YOURSELF...start a savings account with NO checks, and just start putting that money away every month, instead of paying credit cards, loans, etc.

I am no Suze Orman, but I can say that my fiance and I before we got together where THE WORST savers on earth. My brother who makes HALF my salary owned a home at 24, sold it, bought cars, and BOATS, and I had literally nothing in the bank and everything in the closet. my shoe collection was unparalelled, and I had clothes for every day of the year without repeating...

Because I have been through this, I can say that now that I live with my spendthrift, I am managing his finances, and for a man who makes good money, FINALLY has a decent savings, and soon we will have the money to send for a house and/or his grad school bills.

Again, my brother who makes so much less, supported his wife through school as a sole provider on LESS than my salary, and still SAVED. he also has a perfect credit score, as he is the kind that buys, pays it all off, and is done.

Consider the feeling of having a growing account that you two contribute $200 a month to. That's $400 a month. If you get a decent savings plan, maybe a little bit of interest accrues for your money (not likely too much, but it's something). The more you can pay yourself, the more you can squirrel away and KNOW that what you bought was with your hard earned money. my friend does that through direct deposit and oays her savings account so she never sees it. Out of sight, out of mind.

I am notmaking any judgements, but if you ever plan on starting a family, you have to know how to save money, because loans will not be so cheap then. You'll need a lot more money for schools, college, retirement, medical expenses, etc. And if you have a mrtgage, you will see your debt go SKY high. You'll be paying interest on larger sums and the percents will be more than you realize. You will end up paying more to pay back, then if you just learned to save money now...

You also have to learn how to be as frugal as possible, like get generic things instead of brand name things, cut back on dinners out, rent movies, etc. Sacrifice is what makes spending that money worth while, but you have to be strong and want it enough.

I don't mean to lecture, but I would NEVER NEVER say it's OK to buy a diamond ring (total unnecessity) through a loan. I would STILL suggest a beautiful Tiffany's promise ring and day, until you save up.

My fiance was supposed to propose to me BEFORE we moved in, as BOTH our parents are VERY traditional. He couldn't because he had credit card debt, and I said, pay off all that before you THINK of getting a ring. I had to explain to everyone the scenario, and people were leery...It was a bit embarassing NOT to have that ring, but we decided it was best. Then, when he saved up enough, we started shopping. MAN am I glad we waited. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter what other people think or say, it matters between you two, and the best thing is to have a mature and smart approach to money BEFORE you get married, then to have a RING!!!

Good luck!!!

 

[Lollipop]

I totally understand what you are saying. My g/f who I am going to propose to tonight, is very very good at saving money. She has no debt, no credit cards, no loans, and has saved well over $15,000 and has a great job and plans on retiring early. She is excellent with money. Whereas I have Student Loan, Credit Card(that I rarely ever use and am working on paying off), Car Loan. We each have our separate accounts, and we have a joint account that we both put money into and use to pay bills, mortgage, and also save money for new stuff for our house. It is rough, because I don't want to just stay home all the time because we have no money and I don't want her paying for everything because I have no money. We save money together, and by the time I would pay off my credit card and whatever else, and then actually save enough money it might be another 3 yrs. I am 27 now, I don't want to have to wait till I'm 30 to start getting married then a few yrs to have some kids. She is only 22, a good head on her shoulders, and anytime we have ever needed something I make sure I work enough overtime to make sure we have the money. When I do try and save or put money away, something comes up, like car repair, pipe breakin in the house, dentist bills, and I need to pay for it instead of using credit card so I do and once again I need to start saving again. I thinking saving money is a great idea and works excellent for people, but it really hurts me inside to know that it has been this long, and we are living together and not married. Honestly, it really hurts me inside to see how much I love her and want her to be happy. We have talked about kids, but she wants to be married first before having kids, I don't want to be old when having kids. I know exactly what your saying, and I appreciate the advice.

I thought long and hard before I went for the loan, and pretty much my income tax is going to pay more then half of it off when I get it back.

 

[Nicrez]

If she's that good, may I suggest that she run the finances once you are married? Don't even think of pride, think of financial freedom. Whoever is most suited for that job, they should do it, and you BOTH will benefit.

Also, try paying off those loans and debts (even if it's HER savings). That way you are debt free and don't have to pay a penny of interest on it. Keep at least $5K in the bank for an emergency. If you still have more debt that is not paid off, then be AGRESSIVE about paying it off and make sure that's done before getting married.

Don't be in ANY debt when spending for a wedding, and if you are, DON'T take a loan to HAVE a wedding. Sorry. I never agree with that either. Everyone should try to live within their means, it's not that hard...maybe at first.

Yes at 27, I would have thought you would have more in savings to make sure your girl of 5 years had a ring on her finger, but you can't go backward. I still suggest a promise ring. And when you can offer her more, she should appreciate the sentiment and stand by you, HELP you save that money and you can both get the ring when you are both able. What's wrong with a $200 ring? Why does it need to be $5K? Again, live within your means.

I assume you took out the loan already, because it sounds like you have. Good luck, and I would have even waited for the tax refund to get the ring with that instead. But then again, I may be a dinosaur in this credit card crazy world...

It's your relationship, and if she's OK with you taking out a loan for her ring, then OK. I hope all works out well, and that you two have a marraige blessed with happiness and financial security. Because that makes relashionships easier...trust me!

Please let us know how it goes, and maybe we can see some pictures?

 

[Lollipop]

She already does run OUR Finances for the house. Only thing she doesn't is my own personal ones. But yes I already did take the loan and already have the ring. I don't know how she will feel about the ring, I am just going to tell her don't worry about it as far as price, or is it paid off what not.

Although now I am kinda nervous after reading your posts. I guess there is not turning back now.

I will keep you updated

 

[sumi]

Lollipop: If you've already taken out the loan, and are sure that you made the right decision for you, then why are you asking our opinion? (That sounded WAY more harsh that intended). I'm just wondering if it's going to serve any useful purpose to ask what we think, if you've already decided that taking out the loan was a good thing.

If you are proposing tonight, this suggestion may be too late, BUT......I once went to a wedding were they gave out little fortune cookies. They had regular fortune cookies and chocolate flavored fortune cookies, etc. The fortune inside gave the couple's name and the date. I asked about the cookies and the groom's sister had made them all. I was thinking that you might be able to find a fortune cookie recipe somewhere on the web. That way you can just make the cookie yourself and put in a personalized fortune.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes!

 

[Lollipop]

I was more just asking the opinion about the menu idea. The Fortune Cookie idea is a good one, I like it.

As for the loan, I was just wondering if anyone in here has taking out a loan or put it on the credit card as well, that's all.

I will keep you updated.

 

[Nicrez]

Lolli, I really don't want to make you feel bad, but the type of person I am I believe that it's best to give with what you have and not with what you DON'T have...

Here's a post about a girl who was proposed to, but decided the money wasn't worth it.
Lauren523's Story

Either way, communication in a relationship is key. Your woman loves you for who you are. So if she DOES ask where you got the ring, don't lie. Tell her it was a loan, and you would do anything to give her the ring of her dreams. If she's OK with that then pay it off and enjoy it.

If not, since it is a gift, leave the decision to her. But the gesture is worth more than the ring anyday. As such, if you do it in a restaurant, the ring isn't there to speak for itself.

I suggest to find a quiet spot, and tell her WHY you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Tell her WHY you love her, and always will. Be sincere, be honest, and the less you hide, the more she knows you for every perfection and flaw.

That's love. Loving the good AND the bad. So when you give her the ring, look into her eyes, hod her hand and make sure she knows the sacrifice you made for that ring, and that you would sacrifice for her again, for as long as you two live...(slightly cheasy but effective!)

Good luck and let us know how it goes!!!

 

[AtlantaC]

On the proposal...Love the menu idea and the fortune cookie. Thing with Chinese food menus is that they're really long. Converting the whole thing would take time, but it would be really cool. Sounds like something I would do. Does she read the menu or eat the same thing every time? At the places I frequent, I hardly ever pick up the menu at all.

On the loan...depending on your needs, other revolving credit payments you have, and the overall interest cost of this loan, you may want to investigate your options with a 0% low limit credit card that will offer you a FEE-FREE transfer check and 0% interest for X number of months. Make sure it would be FEE-FREE as often CC companies offer balance transfer checks but for a fee of 3-5% of each transaction. You can check bankrate.com for some research. Besides that, the trick would be to never, ever use that card, pay as much as you can each month, and once the debt is gone, chop up the card and cancel the account.

 

[ShopDiva]

I think that is all right!10%, My fiance' and I have also been together 5 1/2 years and we suck at saving money too, thats why we will have to finance too. If you can pay it off before 2 yr. go for it. That's just me. I know its better to use cash, we did for my setting, but to get exactly what you want finance.

How'd it go??

 

[antigoon]

Here's another fortune cookie idea. (I'm planning to use it--except at home with Chinese takeout--but I'll lend it to you.)

Don't have the fortune say "Will you marry me", but have both of your fortunes say "A marriage is in your future". When the first one is opened, make some silly remark like "Must be Lilly's wedding we're going to in August." Then when the second one is opened, you can say "Well, there's no point arguing with the prophets..." and proceed to get on one knee and propose.

Hey, I like it.
Steve

 

[ShopDiva]

Oh that will be cool steve! Nice one.

You must share details after!!

 

[Heaven Sent]

So what happened, Lolli? Did you propose?

I'm dying to hear details!