Asking permission and secrets?

[roadpupp]

So with my departure in one week, I am facing the fact that I will have to call my girlfriend''s dad early next week. (We leave Wednesday).

I wanted to call to ask for his blessing the day before we left so that there wouldn''t be any mishaps.

* Funny sidenote. My Brother in law called my stepdad to ask permission to marry my sister. Stepdad welcomed him into the family and told him all the nice stuff you are supposed to. My bonehead stepdad calls my sister the next morning to congratulate her. Problem was that her intended hadn''t popped the question yet!!! Oops. Spoiled suprise.


So here is my question, can I ask my honey''s parents to keep this quiet? My girl is a twin and I think she would like to break the news to her twin and other sister herself. Will the parent''s just know to do this?

What are everyone''s thoughts?

My parent''s already know but I asked them not to say anything. I was thinking it would be fun to just show up at my family functions with the big sparkler on her hand and let people be suprised.

I''m getting excited, now if I can just smuggle the ring on the plane and into Mexico. Hopefully she won''t be too curious to look in the in-room safe once I stash it.

 

[Carmel]

O.K. – pupp, you and I are going to have a heart-to-heart. You don’t look like you're 12 years old – so this is not a secret per se – it is a confidence, and anyone you tell will be your confidant. It is perfectly within your rights to ask your future in-laws to keep this personal and delicate information quiet. Chances are, they would already be on the same page, but AS A MAN, you probably should go to the extent of saying something like, “Mr. Love-of-my-life’s-dad (don’t really say that, I was trying to be clever), of course I want you to share this news with (GF’s mom’s name goes here), but please do me the favor of keeping it confidential for the time being. When I propose, and if (GF’s name) accepts, she deserves to reap the benefits of making the announcement to everyone. I am sure you understand where I’m coming from, and most importantly, I am so honored to know that you are giving me your blessing to take the hand of your amazing daughter to be my wife. I really THANK YOU.”

In my opinion, pomp and circumstance can’t be overstated here. If you think all that sounds too formal, I hope you re-think it. This moment in time could set the tone for the future. Your GF’s parents will want to know that you take your intentions to be a good husband seriously, and your style of approach to ask for permission will speak volumes.

Best of luck! And if I were you, I definitely would not bring up the motorcycle.

 

[KSparkles]

Good for you for being brave enough to ask her parents for their blessing (I would be shaking in my boots!!). My fiance asked my parents the night before, because I talk to them regularly and he wanted there to be as little time as possible to allow any spilled secrets from them. He kept the conversation simple and sweet, and pretty much said hi, how are you etc...then told them that we were going on a special trip to Vermont and that he wanted their blessing before he proposed. They were very excited from what I hear (I obviously heard all this after the fact) and wished him luck! Judging by their reactions when I called them to break the news of the engagement, they were very honored and proud to have been in on the proposal beforehand. Just make sure you tell them when you're proposing to her, and they'll keep it a secret. Congrats ahead of time & have fun!

 

[Gale]

Carmel and KSparkles have given you sensible advice. Have a great vacation, and best wishes for the proposal. You have coverd all of the bases.

 

[piepiezzz]

I just got engaged On Sept.21st. I had asked her father the previous Friday (17th) and asked him not to tell ANYONE because I knew it would mean SO MUCH for my sweetie to break the news herself(especially to her mom).

So now that its out, we found out how her dad was tearing up a lot while we were on our cruise. His wife asked him what was wrong and he told her it was something he saw on TV. He's a big, Harley guy so its kind of cute, funny,etc.

But what I mean is just ask him to keep it quiet and he should respect your wishes. Plain and simple.

 

[roadpupp]

Well

I called and my sweetheart's mom answered. She was happy to hear from me and and we talked a little about her daughter and the exam she was taking that day.

After awhile I asked if her husband was home and if she could get him on the phone. I knew that she would want to hear this as I called them before we moved in together to assure them that I had serious intentions and wasn't just playing around.

We started talking about the vacation we are going on and I told them how romantic it all was and that it needed to be because I was planning to ask S to marry me. Her mom squealed and her dad didn't say anything. I then said that it was important to me that I had their blessing before doing so. I like this better than asking permission.

Her mom answered that I had her blessing and then there was silence. Her dad was crying!! Quickly her mom said he was too choked up but that certainly we had his blessing too.

It was very nice and we complimented each other about the quality of the families we are joining together.

So I guess there is no backing out now!!!

I asked that they keep this quiet until S has a chance to call her sisters herself and the quickly agreed. It all went very smoothly.

I'm very excited! Mexico in two days!

 

[hoorray]

Well done! Have a great trip, and good luck with the proposal!

 

[njc]

Congratulations!!! I know you cant wait for the trip... and i cant wait for you to come back and share!

I just have to say that i think asking the parent(s) before adds so much more to the proposal... its so romantic in an old world way, know what i mean? Makes it more fairy tale-like! Ill be a little disappointed if the b/f doesnt ask my parents.

 

[JCJD]

I think you got great advice on this subject, and you did a great job yourself too!! Congratulations on your blessing, and I hope you have an AMAZING trip with your sweetie!!!!!

Many blessings to you and your f-to-be!!

JCJD

 

[Gale]

Hello roadpupp. I was so very touched by your post asking for S's parents blessing. Happy proposal and have a great trip!

 

[strmrdr]

I just made it a point to tell them I hadnt asked her yet and to ask them to keep it quiet untill they heard Id asked her.
It worked out ok :}
Looks like it will for you too :}
Best of luck!!