blacksand
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2010
- Messages
- 889
Sorry in advance that this is so long! I just really wanted to share this story with someone.
The biggest problem my boyfriend and I have is that we’re both used to life on our own. We’ve been fending for ourselves for so long that we sometime have trouble accepting help from each other. When we argue, it is invariably either about something dumb like a book or movie, or about how best to help each other or stay out of each other’s way. I never let him help me clean because I’m embarrassed of my mess, so I’ll clean while he sits there watching TV, and then we get annoyed at each other. He never lets me help him at his place, either.
The biggest problem I have at my place is bunnies. Two big, mischievous, territorial bunnies. One has free roam of the living and dining rooms, the other has been holed up in the kitchen for nearly a year now. Anyone on here have bunnies? If you do, then you know how much trouble they are. Cute, fluffy, whiskered trouble. And introducing two bunnies to each other (such that they will get along and not kill each other) is the most ridiculously difficult thing you will ever do. They are very sensitive. They are very picky. And they have long memories. I had been trying for about six months to acclimate them and gradually introduce them, and we were at an impasse. It just wasn’t happening. My kitchen was nearly inaccessible, and each bunny was marking its territory along the gate separating the kitchen from the dining room. The daily poop patrol. So I told bf that I was going to try sticking them in a pen together ALL day and simply intervening every single time they tried to fight. Every time. All day. If it took two or three days, so be it. I’d stay with them.
On Saturday, I hesitated. I called bf and asked him if he wanted to hang out, and maybe I’d do the bunnies on Sunday. “Blacksand,” he said sternly, “You have to do this.” So I got mad that he was dictating what I should do, and pouted for a while. I really didn’t understand why it was so important to him. Then he came over with food for lunch and dinner and promised to stay with me and help. So I put the bunnies in the pen together. I sat with them for two hours and broke up any would-be fights. I stressed. Then I got out and sat just next to the pen with a spray bottle and stressed some more. I remember crying at one point. I don’t know why. Every time it seemed like they were getting along, I’d let my guard down, and they’d fight. So much stress. Bf stayed, fed me, and tried to engage me in conversation for ten hours of this. Then we lay down on the sofa bed (a few feet away from them) and tried to sleep. We’d wake up every half hour or so to make sure they were okay. At about 4:30 AM, a fight broke out, and bf jumped up and got to the scene before I did. By then, we were both in rare form. He was ineffective in his methods of breaking up the fight, and I told him so. I believe my exact words were “if you can’t help me, then get the [bleep] out of my way!” It was not good.
After I calmed both bunnies down, bf and I also called a truce. “We have to learn to work together,” he said. And it dawned on me that I’d been so stressed about the bunnies, I hadn’t even thought about us. As it turns out, the reason he was so insistent that I do this this weekend was because he’s thinking about us moving in together, and possibly soon. He wanted to get this sorted out so that the bunnies could live together peacefully in a new space, and he wanted us to work on it together so that we could learn to live together in a new space.
We both stayed up watching the bunnies for another hour or so. They cuddled and groomed each other. We finally went to sleep, taking turns waking up every now and again to check on them. By Sunday morning, the bunnies were peacefully cohabitating. Bf and I made breakfast together and took turns watching the buns while the other showered. I let him wash the dishes and take out the garbage, which I never do. Both bunnies and humans spent most of the day lying down and snuggling together, exhausted from the previous day’s stress.
The bunnies have been together for 38 hours without incident, and are currently lying all stretched out with their noses pressed together. And here I am looking at engagement rings with a guy who must love me very much, to put up with all of that and still want to be with me! It looks like we’re all going to be very happy together. Eventually. With a little effort.
The biggest problem my boyfriend and I have is that we’re both used to life on our own. We’ve been fending for ourselves for so long that we sometime have trouble accepting help from each other. When we argue, it is invariably either about something dumb like a book or movie, or about how best to help each other or stay out of each other’s way. I never let him help me clean because I’m embarrassed of my mess, so I’ll clean while he sits there watching TV, and then we get annoyed at each other. He never lets me help him at his place, either.
The biggest problem I have at my place is bunnies. Two big, mischievous, territorial bunnies. One has free roam of the living and dining rooms, the other has been holed up in the kitchen for nearly a year now. Anyone on here have bunnies? If you do, then you know how much trouble they are. Cute, fluffy, whiskered trouble. And introducing two bunnies to each other (such that they will get along and not kill each other) is the most ridiculously difficult thing you will ever do. They are very sensitive. They are very picky. And they have long memories. I had been trying for about six months to acclimate them and gradually introduce them, and we were at an impasse. It just wasn’t happening. My kitchen was nearly inaccessible, and each bunny was marking its territory along the gate separating the kitchen from the dining room. The daily poop patrol. So I told bf that I was going to try sticking them in a pen together ALL day and simply intervening every single time they tried to fight. Every time. All day. If it took two or three days, so be it. I’d stay with them.
On Saturday, I hesitated. I called bf and asked him if he wanted to hang out, and maybe I’d do the bunnies on Sunday. “Blacksand,” he said sternly, “You have to do this.” So I got mad that he was dictating what I should do, and pouted for a while. I really didn’t understand why it was so important to him. Then he came over with food for lunch and dinner and promised to stay with me and help. So I put the bunnies in the pen together. I sat with them for two hours and broke up any would-be fights. I stressed. Then I got out and sat just next to the pen with a spray bottle and stressed some more. I remember crying at one point. I don’t know why. Every time it seemed like they were getting along, I’d let my guard down, and they’d fight. So much stress. Bf stayed, fed me, and tried to engage me in conversation for ten hours of this. Then we lay down on the sofa bed (a few feet away from them) and tried to sleep. We’d wake up every half hour or so to make sure they were okay. At about 4:30 AM, a fight broke out, and bf jumped up and got to the scene before I did. By then, we were both in rare form. He was ineffective in his methods of breaking up the fight, and I told him so. I believe my exact words were “if you can’t help me, then get the [bleep] out of my way!” It was not good.
After I calmed both bunnies down, bf and I also called a truce. “We have to learn to work together,” he said. And it dawned on me that I’d been so stressed about the bunnies, I hadn’t even thought about us. As it turns out, the reason he was so insistent that I do this this weekend was because he’s thinking about us moving in together, and possibly soon. He wanted to get this sorted out so that the bunnies could live together peacefully in a new space, and he wanted us to work on it together so that we could learn to live together in a new space.
We both stayed up watching the bunnies for another hour or so. They cuddled and groomed each other. We finally went to sleep, taking turns waking up every now and again to check on them. By Sunday morning, the bunnies were peacefully cohabitating. Bf and I made breakfast together and took turns watching the buns while the other showered. I let him wash the dishes and take out the garbage, which I never do. Both bunnies and humans spent most of the day lying down and snuggling together, exhausted from the previous day’s stress.
The bunnies have been together for 38 hours without incident, and are currently lying all stretched out with their noses pressed together. And here I am looking at engagement rings with a guy who must love me very much, to put up with all of that and still want to be with me! It looks like we’re all going to be very happy together. Eventually. With a little effort.
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