LGK
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2007
- Messages
- 2,975
Warning: this post is full of cat disgustingness. If you can't stand to read about a vast array of nasty cat bodily functions, skip it!
Today we had a fun cat fest of utter grossness. I must share it, it's far to horrible to keep to myself.
First, bear in mind the house currently reeks of cat pee. I had an, erm, little incident with a garbage bag with a hole in it, which acted as the perfect strainer, releasing an unbelievably vast amount of pee all over the floor. And despite many scrubbings, and repeated dousings with Anti Icky Poo the stench still lingers- I am guessing it got tracked somewhere I haven't been able to determine yet. (Yes, Anti Icky Poo is really the name of the cleaner- it's a bacterial cleaner designed to destroy anything biological and nasty, like urine or residue from decomposing corpses. 
Really. Says so on the bottle. I think mine might be too old though.) The pee stench isn't actually the cat's fault- the only thing that isn't- but it adds to the vileness in general.
Anyway, I woke up and discovered cat vomit all over the single small carpet in the house. The cats, of course, prefer to puke on the small carpet rather than the much larger space consisting of hardwood floors and slate tiles. So that was great, if not terribly unusual.
Then I went into the kitchen and found they'd somehow upended the food dish, which was very full. Rat, the food washer, was apparently irritated with this and tried to "fix" it by washing the kibble- dropping a bunch of it into the water dish, creating a gluey mass of ick in there too. (The water dish is across the house from the food, to try to cut down on kibble-washing. It doesn't really work.) Then he'd subsequently whacked the water bowl in frustration, making a large, foody puddle there as well. Yay. So while I was surveying this mess, and the startling quantity of vomit, O.P. went into action.
O.P. is hyperthyroid and has some food sensitivities. He has, therefore, had chronic diarrhea for years. But I finally have found the right combo of meds and food, and so his poo is finally solid. You'd think this would be a good thing, right? Well, O.P. doesn't. After not having solid poo for years, he freaks out and thinks ZOMG SOMETHING IS CRAWLING OUT MY BUTTTTTT. And erupts out of the litter box mid poo, usually going about warp 8, showering the house with a fountain of litter and poop. And then does the ghastly gross butt scoot across the whole house to try to rid himself of the alien sensation in his butt. This doesn't end well for his butt or the house, or the human who haplessly tries to clean up his trail of destruction.
So, he did the whole routine this morning, with more poo than usual thrown in for fun. There's not much to be done once he starts- you just have to resign yourself to mopping the house, and then spending the day chasing him trying to wipe his butt. I used to try to stop him but that just results in him racing off, hiding, and then wiping his butt somewhere worse like the slate tile, which is harder to clean, so you kind of have to just sit back, try not to gag, and wait the disgusting process out.
After cleaning up that unholy mess (thank god for rubber gloves), I went into the living room. And discovered O.P., having finished with the butt-wiping, was now puking on the carpet (again!!) and Rat was following after him, gleefully eating it. ("Ooooh O.P. magically made food! And it's warm! YUM.") So I tried- futilely- to keep Rat from eating the rest of the vomit, totally failed, then finally cleaned up what was left after Rat's, um, snack, doused the house with Anti-Icky-Poo yet again, and sat down thinking I'd surf the net to try to take my mind of cat nasty. That's when I discovered it.
The final eff you from the cats. A tiny turdlet, perched meaningfully on the lid of my laptop. I have no idea which one put it there or how, but yes- a small turd. Right smack dab on the laptop lid. Sighhhhh. I thought it was a kibble, so DH picked it up to dispose of it, and discovered it's true nature with his bare hands.
I was seriously tempted to express mail them all to Tanganyika. There may have been a tear or two of abject frustration shed as well. Now, in the early evening, they're all curled up innocently pretending they're not possessed little machines of vile, uholy destruction plotting how to smear more bodily secretions on every surface in the house.
Oh wait. I forgot that I also found Rat snuzzling my Kindle lovingly, smearing it with quantities of green snot. He has a sinus infection that has been wretchedly persistent, and has resulted in ridiculous quantities of grody green snot smeared on pretty much ever surface he likes to sit on- that is, everywhere. And O.P. *re-butt-scooted* down the freshly mopped hallway, too. Seriously. Now they're all worn out from their rampage and pretending to be all snoozy and adorable and cute. Fat chance.
I wonder if I can spray Anti Icky Poo directly on O.P.'s butt? Tempting. Tempting indeed. (Kidding... sort of.)
Anyway, after several hours of scrubbing, mopping, sweeping and more scrubbing, the house is sort of presentable and there's only the lingering aroma of cat pee left. PLEASE BE DONE GUYS. PLEASE.
Today we had a fun cat fest of utter grossness. I must share it, it's far to horrible to keep to myself.
First, bear in mind the house currently reeks of cat pee. I had an, erm, little incident with a garbage bag with a hole in it, which acted as the perfect strainer, releasing an unbelievably vast amount of pee all over the floor. And despite many scrubbings, and repeated dousings with Anti Icky Poo the stench still lingers- I am guessing it got tracked somewhere I haven't been able to determine yet. (Yes, Anti Icky Poo is really the name of the cleaner- it's a bacterial cleaner designed to destroy anything biological and nasty, like urine or residue from decomposing corpses. Really. Says so on the bottle. I think mine might be too old though.) The pee stench isn't actually the cat's fault- the only thing that isn't- but it adds to the vileness in general.Anyway, I woke up and discovered cat vomit all over the single small carpet in the house. The cats, of course, prefer to puke on the small carpet rather than the much larger space consisting of hardwood floors and slate tiles. So that was great, if not terribly unusual.
Then I went into the kitchen and found they'd somehow upended the food dish, which was very full. Rat, the food washer, was apparently irritated with this and tried to "fix" it by washing the kibble- dropping a bunch of it into the water dish, creating a gluey mass of ick in there too. (The water dish is across the house from the food, to try to cut down on kibble-washing. It doesn't really work.) Then he'd subsequently whacked the water bowl in frustration, making a large, foody puddle there as well. Yay. So while I was surveying this mess, and the startling quantity of vomit, O.P. went into action.
O.P. is hyperthyroid and has some food sensitivities. He has, therefore, had chronic diarrhea for years. But I finally have found the right combo of meds and food, and so his poo is finally solid. You'd think this would be a good thing, right? Well, O.P. doesn't. After not having solid poo for years, he freaks out and thinks
ZOMG SOMETHING IS CRAWLING OUT MY BUTTTTTT. And erupts out of the litter box mid poo, usually going about warp 8, showering the house with a fountain of litter and poop. And then does the ghastly gross butt scoot across the whole house to try to rid himself of the alien sensation in his butt. This doesn't end well for his butt or the house, or the human who haplessly tries to clean up his trail of destruction. So, he did the whole routine this morning, with more poo than usual thrown in for fun. There's not much to be done once he starts- you just have to resign yourself to mopping the house, and then spending the day chasing him trying to wipe his butt. I used to try to stop him but that just results in him racing off, hiding, and then wiping his butt somewhere worse like the slate tile, which is harder to clean, so you kind of have to just sit back, try not to gag, and wait the disgusting process out.
After cleaning up that unholy mess (thank god for rubber gloves), I went into the living room. And discovered O.P., having finished with the butt-wiping, was now puking on the carpet (again!!) and Rat was following after him, gleefully eating it.
("Ooooh O.P. magically made food! And it's warm! YUM.") So I tried- futilely- to keep Rat from eating the rest of the vomit, totally failed, then finally cleaned up what was left after Rat's, um, snack, doused the house with Anti-Icky-Poo yet again, and sat down thinking I'd surf the net to try to take my mind of cat nasty. That's when I discovered it.The final eff you from the cats. A tiny turdlet, perched meaningfully on the lid of my laptop. I have no idea which one put it there or how, but yes- a small turd. Right smack dab on the laptop lid. Sighhhhh. I thought it was a kibble, so DH picked it up to dispose of it, and discovered it's true nature with his bare hands.
I was seriously tempted to express mail them all to Tanganyika. There may have been a tear or two of abject frustration shed as well. Now, in the early evening, they're all curled up innocently pretending they're not possessed little machines of vile, uholy destruction plotting how to smear more bodily secretions on every surface in the house.
Oh wait. I forgot that I also found Rat snuzzling my Kindle lovingly, smearing it with quantities of green snot. He has a sinus infection that has been wretchedly persistent, and has resulted in ridiculous quantities of grody green snot smeared on pretty much ever surface he likes to sit on- that is, everywhere. And O.P. *re-butt-scooted* down the freshly mopped hallway, too. Seriously. Now they're all worn out from their rampage and pretending to be all snoozy and adorable and cute. Fat chance.
I wonder if I can spray Anti Icky Poo directly on O.P.'s butt? Tempting. Tempting indeed. (Kidding... sort of.)
Anyway, after several hours of scrubbing, mopping, sweeping and more scrubbing, the house is sort of presentable and there's only the lingering aroma of cat pee left. PLEASE BE DONE GUYS. PLEASE.
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