How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or LTR?

[jaysonsmom]

When DH and I got together, there was a 30lb difference between us in weight (we are only 1" apart in height).
Since then I've had 2 kids and gained 10lbs....He has LOST 15lbs, which puts us around 5lbs apart!
To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable with this, I don't know why.....I think it's because I thought people in a happy/content place gain weight, and dh just keeps losing as he gets older

 

[Laila619]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Oh gosh, I hear you.

Having two kids in two years did a number on me. I've gained about 30 lbs since our wedding day. I can only wish it was just 10 lbs!

 

[chrono]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Definitely gained - 15 lbs after children and umpteen years of marriage. DH has also gained weight but far more. We are the same height and when we were dating, he was lighter than I. He is now 20 lbs heavier than I am.

 

[sonnyjane]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Based on the definition of the word "fluctuate", my weight hasn't fluctuated at all. It's steadily gone up and up and up... I'm about 20 pounds more than I was when I met him 7 years ago.

 

[missy]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Well, as with most things in life, everyone is different. When my dh and I got married and went on our honeymoon (3 weeks in Italy) we gained a lot of weight lol. About 10 lbs for my dh and about 8 lbs for me which is a lot for me. We took a few months to lose it though and while we both fluctuate a pound or 2 here or there we are pretty stable. Ofc we do not have children and that makes it easier.

As a woman I think it is very normal to fluctuate a bit-even more so than a man IMO. I have skinny pants and less skinny pants if you kwim. I know what the general thought is re happy married couple gain a bit of weight but I don't pay any credence to that as people deal with emotions differently. Personally I eat when I am stressed and bored but when I am happy not as much. Also, as people get older I notice they fall into one of 2 categories. Gain a bit of weight or lose a bit of weight (muscle mass). My dh remains around 55 lbs heavier than me but he is taller with more muscle and that's good with me. I am working hard to maintain my muscle mass while keeping my weight fairly stable but I don't sweat gaining a couple of lbs.

Don't be hard on yourself Jaysonsmom. You have 2 amazing kids and a lot to show for those extra pounds and if you want to lose them you will and if you don't want to I don't see it as a negative at all. Be happy and enjoy as long as you are healthy and be kind to yourself. You deserve it! And I would just want to make sure your dh isn't too thin that he is in an unhealthy place. That would be my only concern so as long as he is healthy it's all good.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I don't know b/c my wife keeps her weight a secret. However, I can say that she is well fed...

 

[chrono]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I don't know b/c my wife keeps her weight a secret. However, I can say that she is well fed...

That's all you will say if you want to maintain a happy married life.

 

[missy]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I don't know b/c my wife keeps her weight a secret. However, I can say that she is well fed...

That's all you will say if you want to keep a happy married life.

LOL, I wouldn't even go that far! If she asks how she looks or if she's gained weight truly the only answers are that she looks beautiful and not an ounce! Master that DF and all will be well in the DF household. "How do I look honey?" Beautiful! "Have I gained any weight?" Not an ounce, in fact I think you've lost weight sweetheart! My wise tip of the day for you DF.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

When DH and I got together, there was a 30lb difference between us in weight (we are only 1" apart in height).
Since then I've had 2 kids and gained 10lbs....He has LOST 15lbs, which puts us around 5lbs apart!
To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable with this, I don't know why.....I think it's because I thought people in a happy/content place gain weight, and dh just keeps losing as he gets older

i'll give him 15lbs..

 

[packrat]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

106 when we got married, 136 two kids and almost 12 years later. I'd know he was lying if he said I still looked the same cuz booyyyy do I not.

 

[madelise]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Him losing weight weighs nothing on his happiness!! Don't stress about that



But to answer your Q, I have gained weight with EVERY relationship I've ever been in… and lost weight every time I have been in a break up.

 

[Sky56]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Started at 135 at marriage, now am 175 Chubby and happy. Husband is still quite thin, and he eats more than I do. I never had kids, so there is no excuse there for me. The weight gain does not bother my husband...instead, my father, who thinks that all people should be military fit and trim and he still is at almost 90. I've tried to lose weight but have given up. My current weight has been the same for close to 20 years.

 

[Circe]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

7 years and 1 kid later, I'm about 8 lbs heavier (and currently trying to coax those 8lbs off before trying for kid #2). Given pregnancy, I went up about 40 more. My husband has fluctuated around 30 lbs, I think: after starting a diet back around April, I think he now weighs about what he did when we met. Now we just have to keep up the good work!

 

[momhappy]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

When DH and I got together, there was a 30lb difference between us in weight (we are only 1" apart in height).
Since then I've had 2 kids and gained 10lbs....He has LOST 15lbs, which puts us around 5lbs apart!
To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable with this, I don't know why.....I think it's because I thought people in a happy/content place gain weight, and dh just keeps losing as he gets older

I've never really understood the concept that people in a happy/content places, gain weight I get that weight can be a struggle for some people for various reasons (in other words, fluctuating weight is not necessarily a choice). I'm not the type of person to believe that since I'm married, I can just give up on my physical appearance (or at least parts of it). I'm in my 40's, I've had children, and I weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school. Sure, my body has changed somewhat, but I work out routinely and eat a pretty reasonable diet. Since I am consistent with those things, my weight has never really fluctuated more than just a few pounds (up or down), with the exception of pregnancy.

 

[Laila619]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

When DH and I got together, there was a 30lb difference between us in weight (we are only 1" apart in height).
Since then I've had 2 kids and gained 10lbs....He has LOST 15lbs, which puts us around 5lbs apart!
To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable with this, I don't know why.....I think it's because I thought people in a happy/content place gain weight, and dh just keeps losing as he gets older

I've never really understood the concept that people in a happy/content places, gain weight I get that weight can be a struggle for some people for various reasons (in other words, fluctuating weight is not necessarily a choice). I'm not the type of person to believe that since I'm married, I can just give up on my physical appearance (or at least parts of it). I'm in my 40's, I've had children, and I weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school. Sure, my body has changed somewhat, but I work out routinely and eat a pretty reasonable diet. Since I am consistent with those things, my weight has never really fluctuated more than just a few pounds (up or down), with the exception of pregnancy.

Gaining weight does not necessarily = giving up on physical appearance. I gained weight but I still look and dress hot, do my hair and make up, etc.

 

[momhappy]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

When DH and I got together, there was a 30lb difference between us in weight (we are only 1" apart in height).
Since then I've had 2 kids and gained 10lbs....He has LOST 15lbs, which puts us around 5lbs apart!
To be honest, I'm a little uncomfortable with this, I don't know why.....I think it's because I thought people in a happy/content place gain weight, and dh just keeps losing as he gets older

I've never really understood the concept that people in a happy/content places, gain weight I get that weight can be a struggle for some people for various reasons (in other words, fluctuating weight is not necessarily a choice). I'm not the type of person to believe that since I'm married, I can just give up on my physical appearance (or at least parts of it). I'm in my 40's, I've had children, and I weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school. Sure, my body has changed somewhat, but I work out routinely and eat a pretty reasonable diet. Since I am consistent with those things, my weight has never really fluctuated more than just a few pounds (up or down), with the exception of pregnancy.

Gaining weight does not necessarily = giving up on physical appearance. I gained weight but I still look and dress hot, do my hair and make up, etc.

Yes, that's why I said in parenthesis, "or at least parts of it" - meaning the weight part of my physical appearance and not my physical appearance in general. I also noted that weight gain can happen at different times, for various reasons, and that it's not necessarily a choice. I agree weight gain alone is not equivalent to completely giving up on one's appearance

 

[iheartscience]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I'm fatter and he's skinnier! I like to complain that I used to be the skinny one! But I've actually been steadily losing weight (was taking a couple of medications that made me pack on some lbs. and I'm not taking them anymore) so hopefully I'll be back to my fighting weight soon...and regain my rightful place as the skinny one.

 

[tammy77]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I'm currently two pounds heavier than my previous heaviest weight with my DH. That said, I'm 30 weeks pregnant so I think I'm doing okay! He's about 13 lbs less than when we moved in together, but we'd both lost quite a bit before our wedding. That number is the one I feel most depressed about. If I count that one, I'm up almost 30 lbs now.

I don't think it's a matter of happiness either. If anything, it's habits and hobbies of the couple. Unfortunately, a LOT of our dates and experiences involve eating out. I'm sure that's the main contributor to our increased weight, even though we are happy.

 

[diamondringlover]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I am much heavier and he is as well...we were married 29 years last May...our weight is about 30 lbs apart, which sucks since he is alot taller then I am

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Well, as with most things in life, everyone is different. When my dh and I got married and went on our honeymoon (3 weeks in Italy) we gained a lot of weight lol. About 10 lbs for my dh and about 8 lbs for me which is a lot for me. We took a few months to lose it though and while we both fluctuate a pound or 2 here or there we are pretty stable. Ofc we do not have children and that makes it easier.

As a woman I think it is very normal to fluctuate a bit-even more so than a man IMO. I have skinny pants and less skinny pants if you kwim. I know what the general thought is re happy married couple gain a bit of weight but I don't pay any credence to that as people deal with emotions differently. Personally I eat when I am stressed and bored but when I am happy not as much. Also, as people get older I notice they fall into one of 2 categories. Gain a bit of weight or lose a bit of weight (muscle mass). My dh remains around 55 lbs heavier than me but he is taller with more muscle and that's good with me. I am working hard to maintain my muscle mass while keeping my weight fairly stable but I don't sweat gaining a couple of lbs.

Don't be hard on yourself Jaysonsmom. You have 2 amazing kids and a lot to show for those extra pounds and if you want to lose them you will and if you don't want to I don't see it as a negative at all. Be happy and enjoy as long as you are healthy and be kind to yourself. You deserve it! And I would just want to make sure your dh isn't too thin that he is in an unhealthy place. That would be my only concern so as long as he is healthy it's all good.

Thanks, I'm not unhappy with my current weight. I went from being slim to now being in the "ideal weight" range for my height so, I'm okay with my 10 lb weight gain. Dh used to be muscular and BUILT, now he's atrophied because he said he's too busy playing chauffeur to my 2 kids to work out, so he becomes shrivelled skinny Asian man. I just don't want to look too much bigger than him

 

[junebug17]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I'm 15 pounds heavier than when I got married 29 years ago - dh has probably put on about 10 to 15, but he was slim when he was younger so he looks pretty fit. I gained weight with each pregnancy but managed to return to pre-pregnancy weight. Unfortunately I began gaining weight in my late 30's and it has crept up over the years. I have been trying to shed 10 pounds for a while now, but not having much luck.

 

[rosetta]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Hubs has six inches and 30 lbs on me. I'm 15 lb heavier than I was on my wedding day 2 years ago, but tbh I went on a diet to lose those lbs and fit into a size 4 dress, so I wasn't planning to maintain it. I'm back to my usual size 6/8 now, which is a bit more than I like but I accept it coz I can eat like a horse and stay this size!

Hubs lost 10 lbs recently, but he runs 8-10 miles every other day and I'm far too lazy!

 

[NOYFB]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I lost 34 pounds last year and was in the best shape of my life. Working out, lifting 5 days/week. Then EQ got sick, and things just kind of got off track. I've since gained 16 back. I hate the way I look, but DH tells me that he still finds me sexy. I think when we met I was 4 pounds heavier than I am now, but it's different. It's not the weight. It's the body fat percentage. I loved being 18% BF. I'm now back to 27% and I hate it. DH was going to the gym religiously last year too, until EQ's death. He's tall and thin but has a beer belly. I still find him incredibly sexy, though

 

[tyty333]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

14 years and 3 kids later I've gained about 4 lbs. Dh on the other hand has put on about 10.

 

[Sky56]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I've never really understood the concept that people in a happy/content places, gain weight I get that weight can be a struggle for some people for various reasons (in other words, fluctuating weight is not necessarily a choice). I'm not the type of person to believe that since I'm married, I can just give up on my physical appearance (or at least parts of it). I'm in my 40's, I've had children, and I weigh the same as I did when I graduated from high school. Sure, my body has changed somewhat, but I work out routinely and eat a pretty reasonable diet. Since I am consistent with those things, my weight has never really fluctuated more than just a few pounds (up or down), with the exception of pregnancy.

It works this way (I use myself as an example)

When I am happy, I have a big appetite and enjoy food greatly. When I am unhappy, I lose all interest in food, to the point where I barely eat, it is almost to the point I have to force myself to eat. At those times in my life, I had rapid, extreme weight loss, at even one point I was 99 lbs during a time of extreme stress (and I never had an eating disorder) My marriage has been very happy and since the 80's I went from trim to chubby due to my appetite. In 1995, I had some extreme problems (someone was harassing me) and I could barely eat, and the lbs peeled off rapidly.

 

[pregcurious]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

2 kids and 15 years of marriage later, I am up 8 lbs. I think my husband is the same.

 

[chrono]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Unfortunately, such is life as other matters have higher importance and time becomes more limited. I was originally bigger sized than DH so it doesn't bother me as long as I am in good health. I don't think DH will ever get his ripped washboard abs again either.

 

[kenny]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Mine has gone up a lot.
His has gone down a lot.

I tell people we got a transplant.
Better to laugh than cry.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

I weigh the same today as I did when I got married! It's not much of an accomplishment since I was and am technically overweight. I am more fit today that when I married, though, which is a good thing.

I did gain and lose a large amount of weight (around 60lbs) with each pregnancy in that period.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: How has your weight fluctuated during your marriage or L

Mine has gone up a lot.
His has gone down a lot.

I tell people we got a transplant.
Better to laugh than cry.

My mom and her sister have a theory that there's a family weight that stays constant, so if somebody loses weight the other person will gain it.