are you the favored child of the family?

[Dancing Fire]

were you a spoiled brat?

 

[Imdanny]

Yes. I was my grandmother's favorite, my mother's confidante, and an only child for twelve years. However, I have to say that when my mother and stepfather had two children of their own the four of them formed a "unit" in a way I could never be fully a part of.

 

[Mayk]

Does "only" = "spoiled"... if yes...then... YES

 

[Jennifer W]

Yes, of course. I'm worth it...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Yes, of course. I'm worth it...

Jenn...are you the baby of the family?

 

[ame]

LOL me? Favored? By anyone?

HELL. TO. THE. NO.

My brother has always been the golden child, though when my nephew was born 2 months ago that all changed. He is no longer the golden child and the baby is now lol

 

[Lottie]

No. My brother, being the only boy and living far away holds the highest rank but on a day to day basis its definately my twin sister. When I was a teenager I asked my father why our mother preferred my sister and he said it was because of the potentially life threatening accident my sister had had when we were toddlers.

Families aren't perfect and I think most people are doing the best they can at any one time.

 

[Porridge]

Yup

 

[Rhea]

My sister would say I am. I would say she is.

I guess that means our parents probably did the best they could to treat us equally, but that we're both slightly competitive and a wee bit jealous.

 

[monarch64]

Nope. It's definitely my brother, first born and only male child. It's fine with me...he's dealt with the burden of feeling like he can never leave my parents' hometown because they always need his help with things, and he had the first grandchild in the family and while my parents have helped them tremendously with free childcare so they both can work, they can also never take that kid away from my parents now! Double-edged sword, it seems to me.

While it stings a bit to this day to know that my brother is the favored of the two of us, I realize it has been a gift of freedom to me. I've been the one to travel, go away to college, live different places, and basically visit whenever I feel like it instead of being at my parents' beck and call. Where they gave me wings, they kept him tethered. I would say it's sad, but it's just the way things worked out for our family and it is what it is. I don't think any of us are truly unhappy with the way things are.

 

[Imdanny]

Double-edged sword, it seems to me.

It so much is, it's so true.

My grandmother was the matriarch. My grandfather played the role of "king consort". He became the head of the family when she died ten years ago. My upstart uncle (third child out of three) thought he was the stuff when my grandmother died. He wasn't even the executor. My mother became the matriarch of my family (a role my stepfather was very temperamentally suited to play, but couldn't get his act together, oh well) only about two months ago when my grandfather died. It's very interesting to me to see how she's handling her new position. I think it would be fair to say she's asserting her power. I'm definitely not a favorite with her. She has three children. She's being very different than my grandmother. Much more authoritarian. Drawing lines and saying my way or the highway. To the point of being a little harsh twice in a short amount of time. But she's my mother so I'm putting my ego aside and trying to be be humble about the whole thing. Frankly, I have no other choice.

When my grandmother died, the children turned on me. My mother was chosen as the emissary to "speak for the family". I said "I am the family!" They weren't fun times, let me tell you. My mother and I made up within weeks. It took me years to reconcile with my aunt. My uncle and I are estranged to this day.

 

[maplefemme]

Favored child - yes, I was the only child so I had no other rival contenders!
Spoiled brat? - Heck no, I was raised very strictly with a lot of expectations upon me.
Any tantrum gained me a swift smacked bottom, or later, groundings that latest months. I didn't get everything I wanted but I needed for nothing.
I wouldn't change it for the world, my parents did a great job!

 

[tyty333]

Yes, I am and no, I wasn't.

Just saying because I'm the only one who stuck with anything and compeleted anything. My brothers sort of tried a lot of things
but never finished anything.

Spoiled ....NO! I dont think any of us kids were spoiled. My parents didnt have enough money to spoil us and they
pretty much treated us the same. Its pretty much now that we are older that they are always commenting how proud
they are of me. Who knows, maybe they tell my brothers the same thing when I'm not around .

 

[Maisie]

My mother favoured my younger sister. My dad preferred my older sister. I was stuck in the middle with nobody. *insert violins here*

 

[Black Jade]

Yes and they all made it obvious to everybody. Except my mother. She had the sense to hide this until very recently. My grandmother and my father couldn't manage to pretend and the result is (of course) that none of my cousins can stand me and my siblings don't like me very much either, though they do try. It takes very little, at the few family get togethers that we have, for the conversation to become the three of them outlining in detail all the ways that I was favored, in an extremely hostile way. Though this is all years and years ago and I didn't actually have anything to do with it (as even they will admit), they will hold it against me until we all die.

I was not favored in being given anything extra--everything material was scrupulously shared equally. In fact, after a certain point, my siblings definitely got more of the money and material things because they learned how to 'guilt' my father and grandmother into it by showing they knew they were not favored emotionally. The problem was that both made it obvious that they preferred my company (when I came into a room, my dad used to go on like a light), boasted about me and my achievements and not about those of anyof my siblings and continually compared them unfavorably to me. My cousins got this too and did not like it either.

I honestly don't have a favorite among my three kids--I wouldn't do that to anybody. It's horrible both for the unfavored and for the favorite.

It was nobody's fault, as is probably usually the case when this kind of thing happens. I am the second child--I had a seriously handicapped older brother who was very difficult to care for and who died as a child. My parents were told they wouldn't have normal children and conceived me by accident. I was born while my brother was still alive was not only not handicapped but was precocious and quick at learning to do everything from walking to talking to reading and am naturally gifted with an agreeable personality (the kind of easy kid who smiles and snuggles and never gives trouble). My sibling are all also bright and good-looking but they missed out on the birth position (right after the handicapped one) and also are not all so naturally anxious to please, especially not the two boys.

I always hear that the normal thing is for boys to be favored over girls, but in my extended family (my father's side anyway) it has always been the opposite--I don't know why. My father's sisters were favored over him, too and my grandmother, who was also the oldest girl was definitely the family favorite--so much so that now that she and her siblings are all dead the respective grandchildren of her siblings still complain that she was the 'princess' or the 'queen.'

 

[Black Jade]

I couldn't tell you if I was spoiled or not. My husband sort of thinks I am. But my siblings actually say that I'm and even that I behaved very well, considering.
But they still don't like me. They try but they don't.

 

[packrat]

Heck no! My brother is the Golden Boy.

 

[minmin001]

Does "only" = "spoiled"... if yes...then... YES

ditto

 

[Dancing Fire]

Nope. It's definitely my brother, first born and only male child. It's fine with me...he's dealt with the burden of feeling like he can never leave my parents' hometown because they always need his help with things, and he had the first grandchild in the family and while my parents have helped them tremendously with free childcare so they both can work, they can also never take that kid away from my parents now! Double-edged sword, it seems to me.

While it stings a bit to this day to know that my brother is the favored of the two of us, I realize it has been a gift of freedom to me. I've been the one to travel, go away to college, live different places, and basically visit whenever I feel like it instead of being at my parents' beck and call. Where they gave me wings, they kept him tethered. I would say it's sad, but it's just the way things worked out for our family and it is what it is. I don't think any of us are truly unhappy with the way things are.

sound like the old chinese tradition.

 

[Cozystitches]

Nope...I am the oldest of six girls. We have all tried at various times to be mom/dad's favorites and it has changed a few times w/mom, never w/dad. Sister #3 has always been dad's favorite. Currently Sister #3 is mom's favorite because she's not in town and will be getting married and moving this summer. The baby has also been favored for a long while....

Was I spoiled, well, I was the only for almost 8 years, so then yes I was spoiled...then I got 5 sisters, one at a time for the next 6 years...sigh... I love my sisters, but sometimes it was just that I was the babysitter. It's better now that we're all older so we're closer now.

 

[amc80]

My brother (3 years older than I) and I were both born two months early. He was very sick and in the hospital for a couple of months (this was 1977, so 8 weeks prematurity was apparently a huge deal). They didn't expect him to make it, and if he did, thought he could have issues anywhere from deafness to blindness to retardation. I was also 2 months early, but totally healthy...just small.

And I swear, even today, he is still the miracle child. I have always been responsible and independent. I had my masters degree at 23. He is more of the artsy-drifter type (he's a musician) and is only now, at 35 really getting things together.

I think part of the favoritism, though, is that my brother depends more on my mom than I do, and she enjoys it.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Yes, I think I'm favored by dad (daddy's little girl forever), however I felt that my mom favored my brother, so it's fair.

Yes to the spoiled part, but only monetarily..... They were strict, and old-fashioned, and doled out punishment when needed, and where not physically affecionate. The only way they knew how to show their love was by giving us monetary rewards for scholastic achievements, for being good kids, or for holidays. So, I have never been in want for anything that can be bought with money. That being said, I wish they gave me more credity or praised me more when I was a child.

 

[sonnyjane]

I was certainly not the favorite child growing up, nor was I spoiled, but I am currently the "favored child" as you put it. It's not really competitive, as both of my siblings are convicted felons with drug problems...

 

[Black Jade]

I was certainly not the favorite child growing up, nor was I spoiled, but I am currently the "favored child" as you put it. It's not really competitive, as both of my siblings are convicted felons with drug problems...

This is so sad. I hope that it will change, I know this is a lot of stress.

 

[partgypsy]

As far as materially, money wise, that would be my my older "prodigal" brother (first born son, hm is there a pattern here?).

I am a middle child, quiet twin, I wasn't paid much attention, neither positive or negative (not that I noticed, I was too busy reading books and being in my own world!).

I know my parents are proudest of me but that did not translate into additional favors, in fact the opposite. Since I was considered to be able to take care of myself, the other kids got the help/material support, and I was expected to help my siblings. I'm sure this happens in a lot of households.

 

[mrswahs]

I'm the only child so I'd hope I was the favored

Spoiled brat? I don't think so... did I have more than my friends with many siblings? Yes. Because my parents chose to have only one child and to never live beyond their means they were able to allow me to have my own computer at an insanely young age (my dad also owned a computer store), bought me my first car, and put me through college.

I don't think that makes me a spoiled brat, and I also was never the kind to whine if I didn't get my way or if mommy and daddy didn't get me the latest and greatest ___fill_in_the_blank___.

 

[Jennifer W]

Yes, of course. I'm worth it...

Jenn...are you the baby of the family?

I'm the only one!

 

[iheartscience]

I'm the baby of the family, so...draw your own conclusions.

 

[diamondringlover]

Nope my younger sister was favored...my birthday is right after Christmas, there were times I would get my birthday presents on her birthday I have forgiven my Mom for that...but I still have alot of pent up anger ...

 

[aljdewey]

My younger sister was the favored child by a LARGE margin.....and it did her no service, either. She still expects the world to cater to her in her early 40s and STILL doesn't have her act together.