Ok to have two?

[cmcwill]

Is it ok to have both a matron of honor and a maid of honor? my best friend now lives far away from where I''ll soon be living and planning the wedding, and I really want to honor her and let her know how much she means to me. But I''ll probably need someone who lives close to me to handle ''the brunt work'' of the maid of honor position. I feel like I lucked out because one is married and one is not so I''d have some distinction there. I''ve been to three weddings where this was done, but my mom has never heard of it and put some doubts in my mind. What do you all think?

Colleen

 

[OzScribe]

Hi Colleen,

My cousin Stephanie is one of 3 sisters and she wanted to show how much she loved both of them so she choose her older sister as her Matron of Honor and her younger sister as the Maid of Honor! At a wedding I attended a few years ago, the best man was actually the "best person" because the groom choose to have his best friend, Teresa instead of a man.

Believe me, your mother will most likely want what makes you happy so put your foot down if it's something you truly want.

It's your day and you can do anything you want. I did! Last year I bucked tradition and instead of the best man holding both our wedding bands, I had my sister/maid of honor hold my husband's wedding band and his brother/best man held mine during the ceremony and exchanging of rings. So there are no hard or fast rules and it's a day you'll never forget so do it your way!


Good luck on the planning,
Karen

 

[Nicrez]

Hey Coleen!

Normally a traditionalist, I think this tradition of ONE special person is not the kind of tradition that if broken would mean much. I think it's kind of sweet actually!

I was also at a wedding where the best "man" was a woman. Luckily, she didn't have to wear a tux!, but She wore a black gown and she looked fabulous! On with new traditions, and if those you love don't fit into the mold, make a new one!!!

Good luck, and who cares about such a silly convention!!! If you are paying for this wedding and you are in it, it should be how YOU want it. It's your special day, make sure it IS!

 

[cmcwill]

Thanks ladies! I feel better about my decision now. Not that my mom is pushy at all, but she has that way of making a statement linger longer in my head that other people do...just how some mom's are I guess. And I know I let it get that way too, so its partially my fault.

Colleen

 

[DancinGirl]

It's acceptable - totally!

 

[moremoremore]

LOL.....do you really want to pick a maid of honor just so she can handle the brunt work? My girlfriend is getting married this weekend and she chose not to have a maid of honor b/c she just couldn't choose b/t me and another friend. I still helped out as much as I could! I think it's totally open.... you do what you want to do... there are no rules! It's our day!

 

[cmcwill]

No not at all, More. I meant that I would hate to have someone (who is a very dear friend) helping me on a weekend to weekend basis for a year and watch someone else be called the MOH on the big day. There was an option of not choosing, but I really wanted to...and I really wanted TWO.

Colleen

 

[Daniela]

Just wanted to chime in and say that I have two maids of honour--my sister and my best friend. That's it, no bridesmaids. That way everyone is recognized, and no one feels like they are less important (because they really are both equally important to me).

Do what you want. It's your life and your wedding. I say do what works for you--you can't go wrong with honouring both of them.

Daniela