Would you attend a wedding at this time?

[Calliecake]

We are invited to a September indoor wedding. We will not be attending.

My BIL and SIL attended a wedding last month. My SIL said she was very uncomfortable because it was so loud with the music that people in close proximity of each other were yelling to speak to each other. This was all I needed to hear to decide I wasn’t going to be comfortable attending the wedding.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

We are invited to a September indoor wedding. We will not be attending.

My BIL and SIL attended a wedding last month. My SIL said she was very uncomfortable because it was so loud with the music that people in close proximity of each other were yelling to speak to each other. This was all I needed to hear to decide I wasn’t going to be comfortable attending the wedding.

I can see the spit flying just reading your words
Good idea to stay home

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I would only go if the bride/groom were mandating vaccination and negative PCR tests. A very dear friend is getting married in a few months, and I know her plan is to require you send her proof of vaccination and a negative PCR report (taken a max of 48h before the event) to attend. Besides that, of course everyone will wear masks.

Since you don’t feel comfortable, I think not going is the right call. Maybe break the news to your friend in person, and get her kid a really nice thoughtful gift, and offer to take them all out to dinner to celebrate. It’s a really tough situation!

 

[Calliecake]

I can see the spit flying just reading your words
Good idea to stay home

@Daisys and Diamonds LOL! That was all I could think of listening to her tell me about the wedding.

 

[elizat]

I see you already made a decision, but no, I would not.

I honestly think that large events like weddings, parties, galas, etc., are probably a thing of the past, at least for the next few years.

 

[nala]

I see you already made a decision, but no, I would not.

I honestly think that large events like weddings, parties, galas, etc., are probably a thing of the past, at least for the next few years.

Unless you are a public school teacher in SO CAL. Two weeks ago we spent 3 hours a day in an auditorium with 187 faculty. Indoors. Wearing masks.
All summer school they held assemblies for kids—up to 500 kids.
And I have been crammed in a classroom with 40 kids daily—no social distancing just masks and an air filter. No open windows. These are not galas but they are large events that seem to be business as usual for us.
ETA: all the while, no one is required to be vaccinated so I have no idea what percentage of adults and kids are unvaccinated.

 

[Lookinagain]

No, I wouldn't got to a wedding with more than just intimate family, and I mean like 5 or 6 people all who were vaccinated, had tested and quarantined for at least 10 days ahead of time, and I'd still be hesitant because who knows what people really do. Indoors, outdoors, masks, etc. that wouldn't make me feel comfortable in a larger group. Thinking about it, I guess I'd only go if it were my daughter's wedding and I couldn't talk her out of doing it now, and then the above limitations would still apply or she would have to do it without me. And to comment on @nala 's post, I wouldn't do that either, even for my job. I've already made that clear to my superiors, I understand that people feel compelled to do some of these things for friendship, or their job, but if you don't stand up and refuse, we will all still be expected to risk infection because of other's expectations. If everyone refused, then the party/wedding host or employer might start to get the hint that these things are not a good idea, or worse, a super spreader event. None of these things are absolutely necessary. Interesting that the folks who don't want to get vaccinated are now saying if it's required, they will quit their jobs. And that apparently includes a lot of health care workers. So why shouldn't the vaccinated be able to say that they won't work with the unvaccinated? sorry, but I guess I digress and am off topic a bit.

 

[Dancing Fire]

If everyone refused, then the party/wedding host or employer might start to get the hint that these things are not a good idea, or worse, a super spreader event. None of these things are absolutely necessary.

You are a Party Pooper!

 

[missy]

Thank you so much everyone..I decided not to go because of your feedback. I don’t know how I’m going to do this but I’ll have to call my friend. I may lose a friendship over this..

If she is a true friend Joanne this will not destroy your friendship. She might be miffed temporarily but If she cares about you and loves you she wouldn't want you to be anxious and putting yourself in what you feel to be (and is) harm's way. I am sorry you are in this position but, IMO, you are doing the smart thing. Nothing is more precious than your and your family's health. Nothing.

 

[missy]

I understand that people feel compelled to do some of these things for friendship, or their job, but if you don't stand up and refuse, we will all still be expected to risk infection because of other's expectations. If everyone refused, then the party/wedding host or employer might start to get the hint that these things are not a good idea, or worse, a super spreader event. None of these things are absolutely necessary.

Agree completely. We should not allow anyone to put our health at risk unnecessarily. I understand we cannot control all situations but certainly, for those situations we can control we should.

 

[dk168]

Everyone has his/her own Covid-19 comfort zone, so act upon your own instincts and decide for yourself whether you feel comfortable in attending the event or not.

Those who care about you would understand and would not put pressure on you to attend.

If I were invited to a wedding or similar event now, I would perform my own risk assessment based on the number of attendees and their age, the type of venue and the format of the event, and how well I know the hosts and some of the attendees etc...

If I knew the hosts and some of the attendees well, small gathering, and mainly outdoor, then I would probably go.

DK

 

[Austina]

I’m glad you decided not to go @MamaBee, you were obviously feeling uncomfortable about the whole thing, and it’s not worth worrying from now until then. If your friend is a true friend, she’ll understand. There’s still a lot of uncertainty, and you have to do what you think is right for you.

 

[Lookinagain]

You are a Party Pooper!

Yep. These days I sure am!

 

[MamaBee]

Thank you everyone! I’m heading back from helping my daughter-in-law with my grandsons while my son is on a business trip. I’ll answer you when I’m back. I’m pooped!

 

[MamaBee]

Is it indoor or outdoor? I'd attend if it were outdoor. If it were indoor, I'd be tentative. I'd attend if I was confident everyone there was vaccinated and if masks were worn by all parties. If not, I wouldn't

It’s an indoor wedding @musicloveranthony..I may have considered attending the wedding if it was held outdoors.

 

[MamaBee]

I would be hesitant, too.
I went to an outdoor, but covered concert about a week ago. I didn't last long, it was too close and DH and moved to the lawn area, where we could be spread out a bit. That may be very hard to do at a wedding.
I don't envy you having to make this decision.
I know this is your dear friend's son, but if you are going to be uncomfortable, would your friend understand your not attending, or maybe just attending the ceremony?

The ceremony will be held at the same venue…and indoors…That would have been the perfect solution..

 

[MamaBee]

I attended a wedding on the East coast last week. There were about 75 people there and all had to be vaccinated. They only invited close friends and family, so they knew vaccination status. It was outdoors. Bridal party had to test negative before traveling and being allowed to stay at the venue. They were super cautious. The day after the wedding, one of the groomsmen got tested because his roommate back home was positive. He tested positive, as did everyone who drove in his car to the wedding.

Testing is only good for that moment in time when you're tested, and you have to have a sufficient viral load at that moment. It's better than nothing, but gives people a false sense of security.

ETA: We tested after coming home. The only people who were positive were the four in his car, and they had mild symptoms, thankfully.

That’s so scary…I’m glad that they have mild symptoms..I wonder about the other guests that attended.

 

[MamaBee]

I would be wearing a mask if I were to go. It would not matter indoors or out. If they were not OK with a mask, I would not be going.

My friends are so relaxed about Covid. They keep saying you have to live. It just doesn’t make sense..Ummm.You can die from being relaxed.

 

[MamaBee]

No. I’m sorry Joanne. I wouldn’t go to an indoor wedding right now.

Thanks @missy…My husband now says he’s going to a football game in October. I can’t win..

 

[MamaBee]

No, I would not go. My health is my #1 priority, any true friend or family member should understand.

We’ll see @MRBXXXFVVS1..

 

[caf]

No. I wouldn’t be comfortable with the risk.

 

[MamaBee]

I am flying from Europe to the states for my friend's wedding mid October. I would prefer not to attend, but for this friend, I would walk through fire naked. She has requested that all attendees be vaccinated, and will probably request masks as well. I used my extra bridesmaid dress fabric for masks, and will be double masking.

So I guess my answer is yes, only if my presence was vitally important to the bride or groom. In your situation, a generous present and an invitation to your friend for a get together 3 weeks after the wedding so she can tell you all about it would be my choice. She will love the chance to relive it by telling you all about it. And to avoid hurt feelings, you can phrase it as a 'I would not want to be responsible for infecting people' instead of 'I don't want to become infected'.

My presence wouldn’t be missed by the bride and groom. It would be missed by my friends. I know one couple is already going. She’s the one that’s vaccinated but pretty flippant about Covid worries.
That’s a good idea to meet my friend for lunch..The only problem is I won’t eat inside a restaurant now. I did it before Delta got bad…

 

[MamaBee]

No. I wouldn’t be comfortable with the risk.

Me too…sigh

 

[MamaBee]

Is the wedding local? I'm invited to a indoor wedding next month. I am thinking that if I am back in town, I might go to the ceremony where I can be masked but not stay for the reception.

It’s at the same place…Its being held inside…maskless but fully vaccinated. My friend will be well over the six month relative safety period too.

 

[MamaBee]

Oh yes!! 2/11 and 3/11. You could ask if a booster could be had early October but I see you’re going to decline.
I hope your friend is understanding

The CDC says we will get the booster eight months after the second vaccine. I doubt they would make an exception for my friend’s wedding.. I wish!

 

[Arcadian]

My friends are so relaxed about Covid. They keep saying you have to live. It just doesn’t make sense..Ummm.You can die from being relaxed.

They don't get that you can live but also still be careful huh? These people want covid I guess....

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Just a thought, being vaccinated does not prevent you from getting COVID or passing the virus to others. It only reduces your risk of severe illness, hospitalization, and death. Vaccine protection does reduce over time, and immunocompromised individuals are 485x more likely to have severe illness and hospitalization. Just something to think about!

If you want to be safe, people need to prove they do not have COVID via a test (2x over a period of days) and/or quarantine/isolate before seeing others. Even vaccinated people who are living their lives before COVID are spreading the virus, best is to continue to stay home and take precautions (realizing this is may not be realistic and sustainable). Sure, people want to live their life, but is it OK at the expense of immunocompromised and children's lives?!

 

[MamaBee]

They don't get that you can live but also still be careful huh? These people want covid I guess....

It’s so frustrating @Arcadian..They make me feel like I’m a worry wart..They get together doing whatever they want. I always decline..It’s crazy..They think because they’re vaccinated..they’re like Teflon..

 

[Taylorbug!]

@Slick1

@MamaBee Please mark out the Lot # on your vaccine card. My Pharmacist said people will copy your card to make fakes.

 

[canuk-gal]

It’s so frustrating @Arcadian..They make me feel like I’m a worry wart..They get together doing whatever they want. I always decline..It’s crazy..They think because they’re vaccinated..they’re like Teflon..

Don't feel bad. I wear my mask everywhere and people GLARE at me...I let it roll off me like Teflon.....