I don''t know if I love my ring!!!!!!

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/25/2009 12:56:56 PM
Author: shopgirlee1122
maybe your right, i have always worn HUGE costume jewelery, especially rings that have taken up half my fingers! i know many women who posted that they would be so happy with a 1.81, its just about what we are content with...and i guess growing up i saw myself with a bigger ring. and halo is something i never considered but i might as well start

those are much cheaper.

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 6/25/2009 2:29:48 PM
Author: vespergirl
First of all, I just wanted to tell you that your ring is GORGEOUS - I love everything about it - the diamond, the setting, the 6 prongs, everything. And it is huge.

However, I just wanted to say that my best friend had some of the same issues that you did when it came to diamonds - when I got my ring, which has a 2 carat center stone, she said, ''That''s it? I thought a 2 carat stone would look much bigger.'' So we went to Harry Winston to look at rings - she pointed to a 5 ct diamond and said ''I thought that''s what a 2 ct would look like.''

Then, when it was time for her to get engaged & her & her fiance started looking at diamonds, her fiance was willing to pay for up to a 3 ct stone, but of lower color and clarity. She still thought that the size of a 3 ct looked too small on her size 7 finger, so she ended up with a 4 ct cubic zirconia that she tells most people is a diamond. She says that she just really wanted a huge stone, and wouldn''t have been satisfied with something as ''small'' as a 2 ct - for me, though, I would rather have a ''smaller'' real stone than wear a large fake. However, that solution worked for her and her husband - now that they''re married for a couple of years though, I hardly ever see her wearing the fake ... I think that she started to get embarrassed lying to people about the stone & pretending that it was real.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that story, because you guys seemed alike in thinking that your diamonds would look bigger than they are - I think that a lot of people are surprised when they see what 1, 2 or 5 carats look like in real life, especially for what they cost - people probably expect to get a lot more when they''re shelling out thousands of dollars.

However, I do think that your ring is stunning, and you can always maybe upgrade your setting to a halo in a couple of years. Trust me, that ring is gorgeous, and unless you''re one of the Real Housewives of NYC, I would bet that it''s way nicer than most people around you have - enjoy your gorgeous ring!

Well said. I enjoyed reading all the bits in here! You covered alot!

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 6/25/2009 4:18:50 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 6/25/2009 1:43:07 PM
Author: Little Monster
-1.8 carat could cost about $18,800

-2.38 carat could cost about $24,700

-3.02 carat could cost about $33,300

I''d be super interested in seeing what the difference in physical dimension of these stones would be too.

Its a common misconception that a 2ct stone would be TWICE as big as a 1ct ... or that a 3ct would be THREE TIMES AS BIG as the 1ct. Not so. Not even CLOSE to being so. The price goes up exponentially for very small incremental changes in diameter. Which is why looking at things in person, on your hand is so important. Then you can say is this one really worth XXX amount more than this one? Maybe I''d be happier but XXXX much happier? Not looking at things in a vacuum of info. Yeah, we all would like a huge rock. Most folks would like the US MAG celeb ring special ... but not everyone would spend the $$ it takes to HAVE that even if they HAVE the $$ to do so.

Great points about size misconceptions. The fact is, you dont get much diamond for the price. Diamond prices never fail to shock me for some reason!


At the end of the day your er is a purchase and you have to have the money or even want to spend the amount of money required.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Just know that your diamond is probably about 99% larger than all the other original engagement rings out there! It is very beautiful!

 

[motownmama]

Congrats - your ring is knock out gorgeous! And I live in a place where people wear ''em big!

As an old married gal I will tell you I "vote" for cherishing the ring your guy picked out for you. As time goes on with kids, houses, parents, job changes, moves etc; the sentimental items are SO much more treasured. If you want more bling how about a matching band on both sides?

 

[DaCounselor]

Great story vesper. Giant CZ''s, fake Rolex''s, knock-off purses, etc., say an awful lot about someone. I live in SoCal, the epicenter of posers, and the funny thing about the people who sport the fake gear is that they dont'' realize how many people are questioning the legitimacy of their bling. Like the guy who makes $70K/yr but sports a $15K watch. Suuuuure.

As for diamond size, I have always believed to each his and her own. If someone feels a 2 ct rock (or 3 ct, or 4 ct, or...) looks too small, I''m not going to spend a milli-second trying to convince them otherwise. People like what they like.

 

[vetrogrl]

Hi- you''re ring is beautiful first off and it is not too small. If you wanted a bigger size maybe you could try a pear shaped center diamond. The fancy shapes show up larger than their actual weight! I tried on round, cushion, radiant, and finally pear...and it is true...I tried on a 1.7 ct pear and it looked like it could''ve been at least a 2-2.5 ct. due to its elongated shape and of course you have to be careful about the cut with pears. You need to have an excellent cut. But my finger size is also a size 4 so im not sure if that would have too much of an effect on how large it looked. Congrats though on your engagement!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 6/25/2009 9:04:44 PM
Author: DaCounselor
Great story vesper. Giant CZ's, fake Rolex's, knock-off purses, etc., say an awful lot about someone. I live in SoCal, the epicenter of posers, and the funny thing about the people who sport the fake gear is that they dont' realize how many people are questioning the legitimacy of their bling. Like the guy who makes $70K/yr but sports a $15K watch. Suuuuure.

As for diamond size, I have always believed to each his and her own. If someone feels a 2 ct rock (or 3 ct, or 4 ct, or...) looks too small, I'm not going to spend a milli-second trying to convince them otherwise. People like what they like.

i don't make anywhere near $70k,so then my Rolex must be fake??

 

[iheartscience]

1.81 is definitely a great size, but it is surprising how small diamonds seem once they''re on the finger. Especially if you spend time on PS looking at HUGE blown up photos of diamonds! I would definitely recommend a halo setting for you-it will beef up the size of the center stone and take up way more of your finger. You could do a halo with side stones for even more coverage.

And don''t feel bad about posting this-an engagement ring is so highly anticipated that once you get it I think it''s hard to not feel a little let down. It''s just like the day after Christmas!

 

[litebrite]

Wow, I thought I had a bad case of size obsession (well, I still do...)

I guess a big part of this is expectations - if your original expectation is something bigger, you might not ever be happy with this stone, no matter what we say. It''s human nature. I think the posters here have offered a number of great ideas, but ultimately it''s up to you.

One thing to consider would be your fiance''s response. He put a lot of time and effort into finding you something that was of a very high quality, and a large expense. He probably does want to make you happy, but I''ll just say that if I put $20,000 and I don''t know what amount of time into finding a beautiful ring and the recipient told me that it didn''t match up, I would blow a gasket. I''d feel like not just my efforts, but my intentions were being rejected. And I would seriously reconsider my original intentions, because ultimately, I wouldn''t be marrying someone for a stone, and I would want the same of my partner. And if he asks his friends, he might even get the same response.

Sorry to be harsh, but I''m just putting it out there. I could understand concerns with the craftsmanship of the ring, but this isn''t the same thing. I could also understand if this was a fugly ring (which it isn''t.) You''ve got a great ring, the kinda ring that I would actually be apprehensive about wearing out in public.

 

[honey22]

Please remember that bigger is not necessarily better. Yeah, a huge stone looks fabulous but IMO they don''t look fabulous on hands. Door stops and paperweights maybe, but not on hands. They can look freakish. Your''s is a great size, big but not gaudy big.

There is nothing worse than diamond overhang - when you have a stone that overhangs your fingers, or pretty close to full coverage. It looks like you have been trying too hard to get a huge rock and haven''t taken into account what would look nice on your hands. Diamonds shrink, so very quickly, and I think we get used to seeing them so they look smaller, but that doesn''t mean we should just keep getting bigger diamonds so they still look big.

 

[Monnyjay]

I hope you sort it out, if you are not entirely happy with your diamond and put it away in the drawer for two days (YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH IT). You should love it instantly and want the whole world to see it. I would be very reluctant to tell your partner it''s not what you wanted, but if he knows you well enough he would have definitely picked up on your disappointment

I don''t think a halo is going to fix the problem, if you chose a solitaire setting and that is what you prefer. You are a very lucky lady to have such a beautiful diamond ring. Like some of the other ps mentioned bigger is not always better. I know for sure I would much prefer a H & A beautifully cut sparkly at 1.8ct than a poor cut lifeless 3ct. Unfortunately the majority of people think big diamond WOW, the actual quality does not play a part. This is an ideal site to educate yourself.

I have a friend who has a 2ct and everyone was swooning over it at the engagement party, but it was a terrible stone. The main thing is, she loves it and that is all that matters - I suppose later on down the track you could downgrade to get a bigger stone if this is what you want and compromise on the quality.

Whatever you decide in the end, you have to be happy with it you are staring at it everyday! It is a beautiful ring, wear it and be proud. Good Luck!

 

[LuvThatBling]

I think this is excellent advice:

Date: 6/25/2009 10:34:36 AM
Author: decodelighted
I noticed that from your very first post on PS .. where you were debating the 1.8 vs. a 2.0 stone ... that you were ALREADY WORRIED that the 1.8 would 'look small'. Asking ... 'Will it look small??'


I think this is a MIND thing. Go to a mall store. Try on a 2 ct piece of dime store spit. Reassure YOURSELF that a 2.0 wouldn't be the MILES BIGGER that you are imagining in your head.


Is this WHOLE problem stemming from the fact that you didn't do much IN PERSON shopping for rings. You haven't gotten accustomed to what different sizes look like on your hands? If you prefer what a 3ct or 4ct ring looks like -- do you KNOW how much those would cost your fiance? Would you REALLY want or expect him to spend that? Is that in his budget? Would you rather have that $$ in a ring or in your future HOME.


Life is about tradeoffs. You can't have everything you want. There are hard choices. You can tell your fiance that you don't 'love' your ring but I'd be DAMN SURE I had an idea of how to fix it ... what WOULD please me. You SIMPLY HAVEN'T DONE THE HOMEWORK to know what you want. And you haven't lived with it long enough to really know how you WILL feel.


People bring freaking BABIES home & don't love them yet. Love the idea of them but haven't REALLY built a bond yet. It takes time. It takes perspective. It takes the shock of the new wearing off & the distancing of 'magical' expectations.


Diamonds ARE very small compared to 'Fashion Jewelry'. Go to stores & do your legwork. Do that BY YOURSELF before you ever let on to your FI. I think so much of this is stemming from sheer magical thinking & lack of practical experience with diamonds.


If, at the end of the day, you just want a bigger 'look' w/o spending DOUBLE or TRIPLE his budget -- then the re-setting the stone in a halo option might work for you. Good luck!

I often (always) second guess myself about jewelry purchases. Drives my poor husband crazy, so here's what I would do - follow deco's advice and do some covert ring shopping if you can. Try on a bunch of different rings, different styles, etc. I would also take notice of what the women around you are wearing at work, in your family, your friends, etc.

See if there's anything substantially better than what you have within your budget. If there is, once you consider it very, very carefully, then I would approach your fiance. Give him the details, including how much $$$ it's going to cost and talk it out with him.

You know your man, your finances, and yourself better than any of us, but that's how I would handle it, assuming I could afford to change the ring and I knew it wouldn't start WWIII in the house.

For the record, I do like your ring, very much, but what really matters is how you feel about it. I understand the point that some of the other posters are making in that most people don't have rings as large as yours, but it's not really about what everyone else has/doesn't have IMO...it's about you, what you have, and your level of satisfaction with it. Hope this helps.

 

[DearBuddha]

no it won''t.!! it''ll look smaller and smaller and smaller each day.tell him you need a 7 ct !!

Tell me about it, Dancing Fire! My .92 asscher keeps getting smaller and smaller every time I see this site

I still love it, though!

 

[makemepretty]

Your ring is very very pretty. You can flank it with two matching eternity bands(same size as your e-ring diamond band) and the amount of bling will practically blind people. Go the the thread "show me eternity sets" and you''ll see what I''m talking about. That way you won''t have to change your setting at all.

Some of the comments on this thread were in really poor taste. If you can''t post honestly telling other diamond fans how you feel about your ring, then who could you tell? We are supposed to understand. Believe me, people on a diamond board are extremely picky and let down happens more times than we''d like. That''s precisely why so many people upgrade and change their settings on here. We over analyze everything in jewelery and nit pick to death every aspect of the diamond and it''s setting once we get it. There is even a thread where someone has a 4ct that just does not seem as big as a 4ct should be so she''s not as pleased as you''d hope. Certain shapes don''t appear as large as others even if they are the same carat weight.

Enjoy your beauty and realize what you are feeling is normal. Not everyone falls in love with their ring the first time they see it. Just like with falling in real love, it doesn''t always happen immediately....but I believe you will fall in love with your ring. I''m a romantic

 

[Lula]

Date: 6/26/2009 7:56:17 AM
Author: makemepretty


Some of the comments on this thread were in really poor taste. If you can''t post honestly telling other diamond fans how you feel about your ring, then who could you tell? We are supposed to understand. Believe me, people on a diamond board are extremely picky and let down happens more times than we''d like. That''s precisely why so many people upgrade and change their settings on here. We over analyze everything in jewelery and nit pick to death every aspect of the diamond and it''s setting once we get it.

Enjoy your beauty and realize what you are feeling is normal.

Ditto.

 

[I Love My Sailor]

Trade Ya

 

[BlueSki231]

Wow.. I am going to consider myself EXTREMELY lucky if I get 1 ct.
But it''s most likely going to be under...

When I''ve gone to try rings on 1 ct looks HUGE to me!! I put 1.25cts. on and I get a little giggly looking at my hand!
I haven''t tried anything on bigger than that so I can''t even imagine how huge a 1.8 ct rock would look to me.. I''d probably fall off my chair

But then again I''m used to wearing a .30ct (not so great cut) RHR every day so in comparison even .5 cts looks significantly larger than what I''m used to seeing.

I think you should consider yourself VERY lucky!!

 

[anne_h]

I think it''s okay to not know if you love your ring or not, for whatever reason!

Sure, lots of people would love what you have, but if you don''t, that is understandable. Only you can live in your own shoes.

Although for your DF''s sake, try to be gentle. Does it have a trade-up policy?

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Size is the least important factor when choosing a diamond. A well-cut 25 point diamond that is full of fire and life will always make a poorly cut, dull 5 carat diamond disappear. Look at your diamond under different kinds of lighting. If it flashes every color of the rainbow at you all the time, you have a fine one.

 

[hoofbeats95]

I don''t even know what to say. That thing is a ROCK! I pushed the budget of my FI by getting a .72 carat stone. I''m wondering if you even know what diamonds cost? I don''t mean to be harsh. . . but wow. . . could your FI afford more if you requested bigger? When I first saw this topic I thought you went throug what I did. . . I didn''t like my ering because of the design and the fact that I didn''t get any input. . . long story but it wasn''t related to the size necessarily. I am shocked that you think this looks small. I''m shocked that you seem kind of flippant about the whole thing.

 

[Ryon]

I have noticed that SIZE is a joke!
I mean everyone has their own thing.
The stone I just got = .548
BUT!! it is an ideal cut H&A and it is unbelievable.

My personal opinion (which most will probly share) is that it dosen''t matter how big your stone, but the quality of cut. It is what everyone here preaches and what I now understand 1,000 times better by personal experience. I can take this little guy (bigger than I expected it to be) in any local jewelry store and make them literally want to hide their stones.

Whats the most important thing to you? Obviously he loves you to spend that much money on you.
Keep in mind CARAT SIZE is the most expensive of the 4C''s

My favorite thing is cut (must be perfect, look good in all lighting) , then color (no yellow G or better) , then size (will upgrade when I can afford to) , then clarity (eyeclean is fine)

If all you care about is size, would you like a gigantic dull, yellow, included diamond? (no offense to those who love warm colored diamonds)
Or the one you got which looks perfect and huge for a diamond. I don''t know of anyone with a stone that big that has the much quality in it. You are blessed!

 

[DaCounselor]

"i don''t make anywhere near $70k,so then my Rolex must be fake?? "
__________________________

Not necessarily, but if you don''t make anywhere near $70K and you are sporting a $15K watch then you are in a rare category. I would say very very rare. Anyway, my general point was a comment on posers who flash giant CZ''s, fake luxury watches, and other knock-offs because they can''t afford or won''t lay down for the real deal. There is an entrie culture of these people out there supporting a huge knock-off market. And when I see my file clerk who makes $40K/yr with a Submariner on his wrist, my first thought is not "gee, how did he pull that off", it''s, "hmmm, that''s probably a $150 ''Rolex''". Guess I''m a bit cynical but maybe that''s what living in SoCal does to you.

 

[vintagecushion]

First, your diamond is not small. By any measure.
I do think that the setting makes the band look a little wider than a classic solitaire, and coupled with the fact that the sizing is off, you could be noticing the effect of how the diameter of the ring affects the perceived width of the diamond. If you look around the SMTR threads, notice how a smaller ring size makes a diamond seem bigger. Same idea here.

Btw, congratulations! Your ring is lovely.

 

[joey_v]

Date: 6/25/2009 4:18:50 PM
Author: decodelighted

I''d be super interested in seeing what the difference in physical dimension of these stones would be too.


Its a common misconception that a 2ct stone would be TWICE as big as a 1ct ... or that a 3ct would be THREE TIMES AS BIG as the 1ct. Not so. Not even CLOSE to being so. The price goes up exponentially for very small incremental changes in diameter. Which is why looking at things in person, on your hand is so important. Then you can say is this one really worth XXX amount more than this one? Maybe I''d be happier but XXXX much happier? Not looking at things in a vacuum of info. Yeah, we all would like a huge rock. Most folks would like the US MAG celeb ring special ... but not everyone would spend the $$ it takes to HAVE that even if they HAVE the $$ to do so.

It''s not the sheer fact that approx 1.5mm separate 1ct from 2ct from 3ct. The area of each average rock is significantly enlarged as you go from 1 to 2 to 3 so it is NOT incremental in differences.

A 1ct = approx 31 sq mm.
A 2ct = approx 51 sq mm.
A 3ct = approx 69 sq mm.

As you can see, the jump from 1 to 2 is approximately a 66% bump in visible size.... the jump from 2 to 3 is approximately 40% (without using a calculator). It''s not a 1:1 ratio, but it''s NOT incremental at all.

 

[Monnyjay]

Sailor, very funny...................

 

[Babyblue033]

I think "Objects may appear larger than they are" holds true for computer monitors too

 

[purrfectpear]

If what we saw growing up sets our expectations, I guess I should mention that I remember clearly when Liz Taylor received her enormous diamond and figured I deserved one too. Good thing I grew up huh?

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I don''t know how much your fiance makes, but unless he''s very wealthy, I bet it took a lot out of him to pay that much money for something shiny, all to make you happy. I personally would wait quite a while, if ever, to mention the idea of an upgrade.

Then again, I''ve always been one to think that if I ever wanted to upgrade to a larger size, I would be the one to pay for it. I have no intention of ever asking or expecting my husband to spend that kind of money on my jewelery again. If he does so himself that''s one thing, but I for one would certainly never ask. I feel like the only thing that would do is hurt his feelings since we all know how size conscious guys are...I don''t think they ever want to hear "it''s just a bit smaller than I was hoping for"

 

[simplysplendid]

Perhaps a 4ct or 5ct or even bigger centre stone can get you the finger coverage you want for your ring size but any idea how much that might cost and is that within your FI''s budget? I would suggest going halo to dress up the 1.8ct. Judging from the responses here, no one thinks a 1.8ct is tiny and personally I think you''ve got the wrong expectations to start with. I woud seriously suggest not even mentioning your disappointment about it being tiny this soon to your FI else he might think you are hard to please and ungrateful. Perhaps if you have seen the bill he foot to get you a beautiful ring, you might change your mind about it being tiny. If you really want a bigger stone, I think it is only polite to wait a few years after the wedding before asking for an upgrade.