I don''t know if I love my ring!!!!!!

[icekid]

noreen- first of all, your fiance chose a beautiful ring for you. Truly! It is not ugly, in the least. Are you joking??

I am also curious about how you set your expectations. Do your family/friends have much larger diamonds? Yours is certainly a large stone, by nearly any standards. Here''s to hoping that you can learn to love it!

 

[princessplease]

It's lovely. 1.81 cts is a HUGE stone. You should be incredibly happy with a stone that size. I love my stone and it's not even 3/4 of a ct. I would go to the ends of the earth for a stone your size. Be grateful for what you have.

 

[junebug17]

Noreen, you probably didn''t think your post would cause such a stir! I posted once already, but what the heck...I have a suggestion that may make you feel better, maybe you should go to a jewelry store and just try on smaller carat size rings. Maybe this will give you more perspective as to the size of your stone. I think alot of this stems from you not being familiar with wearing a diamond solitaire. A few of the experts here are thinking that maybe your diamond isn''t facing up as large as it should due to it''s proportions...I don''t know anything about that, I''ll leave that to them! Also, you need to think about what size diamond would make you happy...2.5 carats? 3 carats? 4? As one poster stated, your perspective may be influenced by the gigantic 8 carat rings the celebrities wear. I guess I am just saying that 1.8 carats is a very nice size stone, particularly for an ering, when so many couples just can''t afford a big diamond right out of the box.

I still maintain my initial position...I think if you tell your FI you are unhappy with your ring solely due to the size of the diamond, you run the risk of coming off as ungrateful. It certainly is a beautiful ring!

 

[atroop711]

Noreen...I completely understand some of what you are saying. Your ring is NOT small at all..it's almost 2cts. Let me ask you...what size is your finger? I ask because my center stone is 1.77 ct and standing alone it looks small on my sz 7.5 fingers. Not saying 1.77ct is small but on my flintstone fingers it looked small. What I did was have a halo setting made for it. Now I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way it looks on my fingers. The 3ct wasn't in our budget (I tried on my sisters 3ct and it looked great) but since the halo was an option I loved (I love antique inspired rings) we had it custom made.

Getting back to your stone..your fiance did AMAZINGLY with his choice of stone and setting. It's just beautiful

 

[luv2sparkle]

Noreen, sometimes it is all a mind thing. Its a little thing known on PS as DSS-diamond shrinkage syndrome. We all get it, even if it is only for a second. Check out the thread for called something like-larger stones do you still get DSS?

Sometimes its just a process. You do have a beautiful ring! Congratulations!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Noreen... your ring is my DREAM ring! the setting, the band, everything!!!

But i completely understand where you are coming from. I always wanted a carat, (a carat is pretty big where i am) and thought that it was the magic number... fast forward, the ring is on my finger (it''s a carat) and i think it looks small!! (i have tiny fingers too, size 4 maybe?)

I am planning on having the band shaved down when i get my wedding band made in a few months to help with the proportion.

The only other bit of advice i can give you is to wait a while to see how you feel about it and when you are out in public (the train is a good spot) have a look around and see what everyone else has... i look everyday (it''s kind of a hobby) and i think i have seen one maybe 2 girls with rings bigger than mine and not by much either. It really does put it into perspective... and if all else fails, put a halo on it!

 

[Cachette]

I wish every day I had an almost 2 carat diamond on my finger. I`ve got a .41 and I`ve been married almost 20 years.

You are very, very lucky. Please, enjoy it. I know alot of us here would.

Congratulations on you engagement Noreen. Your ring is stunning.

*´¨)
¸.• ´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•''Cachette

 

[Luckyeshe]

Date: 6/25/2009 9:58:15 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
Noreen... your ring is my DREAM ring! the setting, the band, everything!!!

But i completely understand where you are coming from. I always wanted a carat, (a carat is pretty big where i am) and thought that it was the magic number... fast forward, the ring is on my finger (it''s a carat) and i think it looks small!! (i have tiny fingers too, size 4 maybe?)

I am planning on having the band shaved down when i get my wedding band made in a few months to help with the proportion.

The only other bit of advice i can give you is to wait a while to see how you feel about it and when you are out in public (the train is a good spot) have a look around and see what everyone else has... i look everyday (it''s kind of a hobby) and i think i have seen one maybe 2 girls with rings bigger than mine and not by much either. It really does put it into perspective... and if all else fails, put a halo on it!

Hehehehe, I do that too, but I do it in an elevator or in the mall.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 6/24/2009 9:18:42 PM
Author: october2008bride
I think part of the problem is that most people have no concept of what 1 carat, 1.5 carats, 1.8, 2 etc actually look like.

But girl, your ring is huge. Do NOT mention this to your FI. That is my tip to you.

ditto, it is gorgeous!

 

[decodelighted]

I noticed that from your very first post on PS .. where you were debating the 1.8 vs. a 2.0 stone ... that you were ALREADY WORRIED that the 1.8 would "look small". Asking ... "Will it look small??"

I think this is a MIND thing. Go to a mall store. Try on a 2 ct piece of dime store spit. Reassure YOURSELF that a 2.0 wouldn''t be the MILES BIGGER that you are imagining in your head.

Is this WHOLE problem stemming from the fact that you didn''t do much IN PERSON shopping for rings. You haven''t gotten accustomed to what different sizes look like on your hands? If you prefer what a 3ct or 4ct ring looks like -- do you KNOW how much those would cost your fiance? Would you REALLY want or expect him to spend that? Is that in his budget? Would you rather have that $$ in a ring or in your future HOME.

Life is about tradeoffs. You can''t have everything you want. There are hard choices. You can tell your fiance that you don''t "love" your ring but I''d be DAMN SURE I had an idea of how to fix it ... what WOULD please me. You SIMPLY HAVEN''T DONE THE HOMEWORK to know what you want. And you haven''t lived with it long enough to really know how you WILL feel.

People bring freaking BABIES home & don''t love them yet. Love the idea of them but haven''t REALLY built a bond yet. It takes time. It takes perspective. It takes the shock of the new wearing off & the distancing of "magical" expectations.

Diamonds ARE very small compared to "Fashion Jewelry". Go to stores & do your legwork. Do that BY YOURSELF before you ever let on to your FI. I think so much of this is stemming from sheer magical thinking & lack of practical experience with diamonds.

If, at the end of the day, you just want a bigger "look" w/o spending DOUBLE or TRIPLE his budget -- then the re-setting the stone in a halo option might work for you. Good luck!

 

[rhbgirl24]

I have 1.5 total carat weight on my hand......

I think what rubbed me the wrong way here is isn''t this about so much more than the ring? If my fiance proposed to me with a twist tie I would have be OVER joyed!!! he wouldn''t do that, but still.

I dont mean to be harsh, but with the economy the way it is, people who don''t even have jobs, it seems too much sometimes! I know its a past time, I''m here often, I do it too - but Noreen - do you have ANY idea how much your ring could have cost?? Since you''ve never wore a diamond before I think you should be happy with have the $15,000 dollar plus diamond on your hand.

If its the setting or something that you don''t like other than the size, there are many things you can do to remedy that. However I would NOT tell your fiance, he put a lot of time and money into this.

 

[glitterata]

Do you know the color and clarity of your diamond? If he got you something very high--like D-F color and IF-VVS2 clarity--maybe you could trade the center stone in for a larger diamond with more flaws and more color in it, like an I color SI2 clarity.

One trick that works is to put your ring away and wear a ring with a much SMALLER center stone in it for a few days. Then when you put your ring back on, it will look huge in contrast.

 

[soocool]

I read your previous threads and posts when you considered this diamond. The measurement was 7.8 x 7.86 x 4.82 for the G colored 1.81 ct diamond you picked. The other diamond under consideration was a 2.0 ct G color as well. You asked if there would be a noticeable difference between the 1.81 and 2.0 and the response was not enough to be noticeable.

In these posts you stated that size was a major factor in choosing the stone and you asked to see PSers comparable stones. Did you ever once go to a store and try on rings to see what size stone would make you happy? Obviously not! Sorry but based on your previous posts I cannot feel sympathetic towards you. IMO your ering is gorgeous and unlike you I tried on rings in various settings and different size center stones. I could have walked away with a 2.0 to 2.5 ct diamond center, since it was in my budget, but I opted for a beautiful 1.51 ct . It just seemed the right fit for me. You obviously did not do your homework and did not communicate that to your fiance since you knew what size stones were being considered.

Since your previous posts and threads makes it most apparent that size is and probably will always be an issue, you better tell your fiance now because I don''t think you''ll ever be happy otherwise.

Sorry to sound harsh, but I think a majority of the people here think you are one lucky gal and would be more than overjoyed and thrilled at the prospect of wearing that gorgeous ring on their finger.

 

[noreen925]

wow what a stir, thanks everyone for their advice. as i said before i am very grateful for it, just being size conscious. maybe because i saw a few friends of mine newly married with huge rings and i got a little conscious. or maybe it is a mind thing as everyone is saying. i do like the halo effect i am sure it would add a lot more, maybe i could try that closer to the wedding. this is the info i have about the band

EBC100-5-A-6 Six Prong Eternity
Engagement Ring with Small Sizing Space 1.05

I dont have any of the specifications with me right now. I know it was a very good letter and i believe VS2. Maybe I am overreacting. I never even shopped for an engagement ring before so maybe i just had messed up perceptions. So to make the stone look bigger i have the options of halo or trimming down the width of the band correct. My finger size is 6 btw.

 

[noreen925]

I was looking in the pictures of other people''s rings who had around 1.5 or 1.7 and how come theirs looks so much bigger??? Am I having this size psychological issue someone mentioned? LOL

 

[noreen925]

someone who agrees! sorry to be ignorant but what is melee?

Date: 6/25/2009 12:52:41 AM
Author: Elmorton
Normally, this is the thread that I just plain stay out of -


- but I gotta be honest, Noreen, I agree with you. That doesn''t have the visual effect that I''d expect a 1.81 to have. I agree with Cellentani''s advice. What size melee is on the band? Usually, the rules are that the thinner the band and higher the setting, the larger the stone will look.

 

[noreen925]

the diamond measures 7.86 mm

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 6/25/2009 11:23:51 AM
Author: noreen925
I was looking in the pictures of other people''s rings who had around 1.5 or 1.7 and how come theirs looks so much bigger??? Am I having this size psychological issue someone mentioned? LOL

Some of it depends on your finger size - the smaller the finger, the larger the rock looks. Pictures can be distorting too - particularly close up ones.

You have a beautiful ring as many have told you. The size is relatively large considering what many of us started with. I think you''ve had enough positive feedback from enough people that you should be reassured that it is both beautiful and big - by many standards.

If you''re still not happy with it, talk to your fiance about it. You may run the risk of hurting his feelings and his pocketbook but it really is an issue that you need to settle. Go out and look at other rings and stones - I doubt that a 2 carat stone will make enough of a size difference to make you go wow! but maybe it will put your mind at ease.

What people are comfortable with, what they can afford and what their perspective of ''big'' is is truly all relative. The only ones that can answer that question for you are you and your fiance.

 

[noreen925]

THANKS to everyone , even though some were harsh, I feel better

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 6/25/2009 11:22:54 AM
Author: noreen925
wow what a stir, thanks everyone for their advice. as i said before i am very grateful for it, just being size conscious. maybe because i saw a few friends of mine newly married with huge rings and i got a little conscious. or maybe it is a mind thing as everyone is saying. i do like the halo effect i am sure it would add a lot more, maybe i could try that closer to the wedding. this is the info i have about the band

Noreen,

Do you know what the quality of their stones are? I am guessing not, which is the point I'd like to make. Personally, I would rather have a smaller stone that is of the color, cut and clarity that I find attractive, as opposed to a larger stone that is not as well cut or with visible inclusions. I have not looked at your other threads, but I suspect you have a well cut stone, a G as you mentioned and that is of acceptable clarity to you. This is really all about your own mindset about what is most important to you in a stone. Size may be more important to you, and that's ok, but I would suggest spending a little more time learning about your stone, its cut and clarity level. You may come to appreciate different aspects of your stone, and not just its size.

It is a very lovely stone, by the way! I do hope you will learn to enjoy it, or at least work things out with your FI in a way that is suitable to you both.

And, congratulations on your engagement!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Your ring is beautiful and the size looks PERFECT.

I hope you eventually learn to enjoy the ring your FI gave to you and hope more than *anything* you haven''t complained to him about the size.

 

[whitby_2773]

hi noreen

i'm not going to contribute anything else to the pretty comprehensive list of opinions you already have (hey, i suggested a 3 stone on page 1 of this thread i think!), but what i WILL say is this...

in my experience, a noticeable visual different in stones occurs around a ct increase of about 1/3. for example - 1ct to 1.33cts - makes a nice visual difference. 1ct to 1.2 ct - not so much.

so my point is, 1,8ct up to 2ct isn't really going to do much for you. if you want a significant size increase, you're probably going to be looking at something around the 2.5 range. this is going to cost your FI about double what he paid for your original ring - you're probably looking at a jump (assuming, say, a G VS2, ideal cut ex/ex stone) of at least double. if that's the case and you want to go down that path, you're going to need some kinda bucks for that!

alternately, you could do a lower 'color/clarity/specs in general' to get something of a larger size. but be aware, you WOULD be dropping the specs, and you might not end up with the clear, white, beautifully cut stone you currently appear to have. and you may also run the risk of hurting your FI's feelings (tho i think you mention in a previous post that he said he just wanted you to have exactly what made you happy)

so - to get something obviously larger, you're looking at around 2.5ct+, and that will cost you either a huge financial slog or a drop in specs.

will be interested to hear what you decide; my guess is that you're a size kinda gal. and there's nothing wrong with that - just be aware that 1.8ct IS a large stone - comparatively. but for you individually, perhaps not large enough.

good luck.

 

[noreen925]

I guess i am size girl, i just need to take more time with it! thanks again for all the imput

i have a question about the halo, once you do it, is it not reversible?

 

[joelly]

Date: 6/25/2009 12:21:41 PM
Author: noreen925
I guess i am size girl, i just need to take more time with it! thanks again for all the imput

i have a question about the halo, once you do it, is it not reversible?

Everything is reversible, just be smart in choosing a vendor who allows you to return and get a refund.

With that size, I would suggest a three stone look. Do you like a three stone look?

Some even have halos. Like this for example: http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/3Stone/Three-Stone-Halo-Diamond-Engagement-Ring_1265.htm

The picture shown with emerald cut but I am sure you can use round brilliants and look gorgeous still.

Hope this help.

 

[Beacon]

Noreen, I don't think you are ungrateful or unhappy with your engagement or anything negative like that. After all, if you cannot confess to having a "size issue" on a diamond board, then where else can a girl turn!?

I honestly think your ring is lovely. I also can understand that if you want a bigger one; that is a legitimate desire. If not, why would we see sooo many upgrades here on PS?

If you want a bigger visual effect, you can turn it into a three stone or do a halo on it.

Maybe you are used to wearing larger fashion rings and so your ering looks small by comparison.

I would say, wear it and enjoy it and see how you feel and ultimately you have a lovely stone with a good size that you can make look much larger through a resetting job.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 6/25/2009 10:34:36 AM
Author: decodelighted
I noticed that from your very first post on PS .. where you were debating the 1.8 vs. a 2.0 stone ... that you were ALREADY WORRIED that the 1.8 would 'look small'. Asking ... 'Will it look small??'


I think this is a MIND thing. Go to a mall store. Try on a 2 ct piece of dime store spit. Reassure YOURSELF that a 2.0 wouldn't be the MILES BIGGER that you are imagining in your head.


Is this WHOLE problem stemming from the fact that you didn't do much IN PERSON shopping for rings. You haven't gotten accustomed to what different sizes look like on your hands? If you prefer what a 3ct or 4ct ring looks like -- do you KNOW how much those would cost your fiance? Would you REALLY want or expect him to spend that? Is that in his budget? Would you rather have that $$ in a ring or in your future HOME.


Life is about tradeoffs. You can't have everything you want. There are hard choices. You can tell your fiance that you don't 'love' your ring but I'd be DAMN SURE I had an idea of how to fix it ... what WOULD please me. You SIMPLY HAVEN'T DONE THE HOMEWORK to know what you want. And you haven't lived with it long enough to really know how you WILL feel.


People bring freaking BABIES home & don't love them yet. Love the idea of them but haven't REALLY built a bond yet. It takes time. It takes perspective. It takes the shock of the new wearing off & the distancing of 'magical' expectations.


Diamonds ARE very small compared to 'Fashion Jewelry'. Go to stores & do your legwork. Do that BY YOURSELF before you ever let on to your FI. I think so much of this is stemming from sheer magical thinking & lack of practical experience with diamonds.


If, at the end of the day, you just want a bigger 'look' w/o spending DOUBLE or TRIPLE his budget -- then the re-setting the stone in a halo option might work for you. Good luck!

ditto, ditto and double ditto, couldn't agree more.
I find it very difficult to reconcile a person who thinks they "deserve" larger than a 1.8ct, but clearly
has not taken any time to educate themselves about diamonds, and doesn't understand very basic principles..
You mention hearts and arrows in your first post - do you actually understand the implications of this term on your diamond's performance?
Sure, your friends may have 2ct or bigger rocks, but do you know if they were purchased at the local maul store? Do you know what that would mean for a quality difference?
Do they have smaller hands than you or illusion-type settings?

Your fiance has clearly done his home work and purchased you a diamond (and setting) that is in the very top range quality wise, and in an extremely respectable size.
Before you go making any changes or demands, I think you at least owe it to him to carry out the same level of research and education (or preferably more). Do some reading on PS, instead of just admiring the photos - (which, btw judging diamond size by a computer screen where they are blown up many times is likely a big cause of your misconceptions.)

and yes I did see where you say you are not unappreciative.

I hope you come to understand why you have a very lovely ring.

 

[Blair138]

Noreen, your ring is VERYYY Similar to mine.(check out my avatar) My stone is 1.6, I do have times when I think that it is small (like the day I went into Tiffany''s) but other times (which is most of the time) it looks GIGANTIC!

I will have 2 bands totaling .5 each. So my set will be 3 total. If I need more bling later, I have 2 ear lobes are kinda cold

That is my story, but you need to do whatever is good for you. I like the halo recommendations.

 

[mausketeer]

Date: 6/25/2009 12:21:41 PM
Author: noreen925
I guess i am size girl, i just need to take more time with it! thanks again for all the imput

i have a question about the halo, once you do it, is it not reversible?

Ummm..... this might not be the LEAST bit pertinent to any of your questions but I am just DYING to ask anyways....... um, how OLD are you Noreen? Just curious.........

 

[noreen925]

maybe your right, i have always worn HUGE costume jewelery, especially rings that have taken up half my fingers! i know many women who posted that they would be so happy with a 1.81, its just about what we are content with...and i guess growing up i saw myself with a bigger ring. and halo is something i never considered but i might as well start

 

[noreen925]

I am 25! why ? I know I have limited skill and knowledge with diamonds, never acted like i did