Would you attend a wedding at this time?

[HollyJane]

I would stay out of the vaccine debate and leave it at the fact that given the Delta variant surge, you are no longer comfortable going to indoor events where wearing a mask and/or physical distancing is not feasible.

We all have our own tolerance for risk during these times and hopefully your friend will respect that.

Well said.

 

[MamaBee]

One thing i would personally do, if i were an invitei (is that a ? word) to a wedding or large gathering i was trying to get out of for literly life and death reasons
i would be very careful how i tell freinds or relations if i was going to use something one of us here on the internet has said
i mean we know we are not wairdoos and are real people with productive lives - but dont give any ammunition to a potentially agreived bride, mother of the bride etc
by all means use our examples but word it so we are 'real' people you do actually know

I mean we know we are not random strangers on the internet but when there is so much misinformation on the internet in general .......

@Daisys and Diamonds That’s so funny that you should say that. I feel like I personally know many of you…because it’s been years. I feel like I know you all in real life..haha Then I realize I don’t even know all of your real names. That’s why I put my name on the bottom of my posts.

 

[MamaBee]

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds and @OdetteOdile

I’m glad to hear your Aunt is doing well now Odette.

I know my friend is going to say that there is nothing to worry about because I’ve been vaccinated. She knows how I feel so hopefully she will understand. Just the thought of being in a room with over 150 unmasked people makes me feel uncomfortable due to Covid.

Are we going to the same wedding @Calliecake? It sounds like we have the same friend! Is it in Delaware? Haha

 

[Calliecake]

No, It’s in Illinois. It’s hard @MamaBee because I know she is going to be upset but at the same time I also know her whole family will be at the wedding and they will have a wonderful time. I’m hoping she will be understanding.

 

[MamaBee]

No, It’s in Illinois. It’s hard @MamaBee because I know she is going to be upset but at the same time I also know her whole family will be at the wedding and they will have a wonderful time. I’m hoping she will be understanding.

I’m in the same predicament. I will also have a bit of rolling eyes from another friend. She travels like everything is fine with an immunocompromised husband. I know she will think I’m overreacting. The friend with the son that’s getting married is a social worker. She has a big heart. I know she will get over it..I’m glad she saw I made the trip by myself to Chicago for the other son’s wedding two years ago. Hopefully that will count. I’m going to call her on Wednesday. I won’t change the rsvp on the website until I talk to her.
I hope your friend takes it well. We have to do what’s best for us and our families. Good luck..When are you going to talk to your friend?

 

[Calliecake]

@MamaBee, Oh I know she will tell me I’m overreacting about Covid.
I’m calling her tomorrow and I‘m hoping this won’t be a hard conversation. I helped her son get the engagement ring and she knows I care about her kids.

I can’t see her ending a 20+ year friendship over this. She is thrilled about this wedding and loves the girl her son is marrying. I want her to have the happiest day possible and I know she knows this.

 

[MamaBee]

@MamaBee, Oh I know she will tell me I’m overreacting about Covid.
I’m calling her tomorrow and I‘m hoping this won’t be a hard conversation. I helped her son get the engagement ring and she knows I care about her kids.

I can’t see her ending a 20+ year friendship over this. She is thrilled about this wedding and loves the girl her son is marrying. I want her to have the happiest day possible and I know she knows this.

I hope it goes well tomorrow @Calliecake..I
can’t even imagine it would ruin your friendship. You obviously care about her son. I’ll be thinking of you. Let me know how it went.

 

[lilmosun]

I’m in the same predicament. I will also have a bit of rolling eyes from another friend. She travels like everything is fine with an immunocompromised husband. I know she will think I’m overreacting. The friend with the son that’s getting married is a social worker. She has a big heart. I know she will get over it..I’m glad she saw I made the trip by myself to Chicago for the other son’s wedding two years ago. Hopefully that will count. I’m going to call her on Wednesday. I won’t change the rsvp on the website until I talk to her.
I hope your friend takes it well. We have to do what’s best for us and our families. Good luck..When are you going to talk to your friend?

I hope that the conversation goes well @MamaBee @Calliecake

During these times, I think we need to respect that we have not only different risk tolerances but also different perspectives on reality based on our own personal experiences and social media. I wouldn't discount friendships from those differences but would have a hard time with anyone who doesn't respect my right to having my own. I hope that isn't the case for you.

I think hosts should be pro-active in communicating any guidelines. But otherwise, as an attendee and with the absence of such communication, I assume will be nothing in place. It's not clear to me that the host has the responsibility of communicating vaccination status of attendees (or having them report this).

It wasn't a wedding but I recently had a similar event - a family get together for my mother and her sister who share a birthday (10 years apart). Her sister has Stage IV cancer and my mom had a brain hemorrhage/stroke in March. Covid cancelled plans for their 75th/85th in 2020. In early July, with numbers looking good and my mom's improved mobility (relatively speaking), we booked our flight -and- the siblings planned a large party. The invite stated that guests should be vaccinated and if not, expected to stay masked AND stay 3 feet apart from other guests. Tables would be set up both indoors and outdoors for eating understanding the even if vaccinated, some might prefer to remain masked indoors. The event actually prompted one of my aunts who avoided the vaccine early on for health reasons, to get vaccinated (fortunately she had no side effects).

The late July/early August Delta variant surge made a few rethink their plans. I had to convince my mother to stick with our travel plans explaining things would likely get worse in the fall and given the age/health conditions of all involved, we couldn't wait forever. I wrote my uncle and offered to stay in a hotel and if there were concerns about a party, we could just do smaller masked get togethers (he said everyone who accepted was vaccinated and fine with going ahead). I also wrote my aunts/uncles in the area and offered the same.

The larger party ended up being only 30 people. Pre-covid it would have been 75-100...but in addition to scaled back invites to those closest, my unvaccinated cousins and those with younger children opted out along with their families. One my mom's sisters, who was still isolating at home, took me up on the offer of a separate meet-up and we had a smaller separate get-together at her house - masked indoors, unmasked outdoors. It was emotional as she hadn't seen her siblings before Covid.

The sister with cancer had a stroke a couple of days ago and while she is doing okay from it, I am glad we have no regrets from not moving ahead. Despite being vaccinated, many wore masks initially but as the events progressed, most dropped them with all the picture taking. So there was a bit of holding our breaths that no cases would emerge (they did not).

Times are hard, life is short and with so much uncertainty - there are no right answers. To be fair, vaccinated individuals can spread this just like unvaccinated (the impact of the unvaccinated on our health system is a separate topic imo). As long as we are being socially responsible, each of us needs to figure out what is right for ourselves and give others to right to do the same free of judgement.

 

[Calliecake]

I‘ll let you know how it goes @MamaBee. If it goes badly I will be able to tell you what not to do.

 

[MamaBee]

I‘ll let you know how it goes @MamaBee. If it goes badly I will be able to tell you what not to do.

If it doesn’t go well @Calliecake it’s not your fault. You are a good friend to her. I’ll hope that it goes much better than you expect.

 

[missy]

I have the same situation the first weekend in October (my daughter and I would be going), and it involves a 2.5 hr flight each way which adds to the risk factor for us and the wedding guests. All the reservations are made and the rsvp is due by Sept 10, so I have until about the 7th to mail it. I have another friend who is even closer to them, and I think she is going with her daughter and will have an even longer flight. I feel so sad for all these brides. Most having weddings this fall started planning 9 months to a year ago and hoped it would be safe by then. This bride did reduce their total number of guests to 100, so it's kind of an honor to be invited. It's very difficult to have to say no when they came all the way here for our daughter's wedding 2 years ago. Ugh!!!

I am asking my doctor before I make the final decision. Leaning towards no at the moment.

This is not directed at any one poster (though I hope it is OK quoting my friend @diamondseeker2006). This is to anyone struggling with a similar decision at the moment.

I hope this doesn't sound trite but all that really matters is that the bride and groom are marrying the loves of their lives and get to spend the rest of their lives together. This is but a blip on the radar that is their lives. Everyone should remember this and hold onto that.

They have their entire lives to spend together. Loving each other, supporting each other, being each other's best friends. Who attends their wedding and who doesn't is of no consequence in the long run.

We are still in a pandemic situation (endemic/pandemic it means the same thing basically let's not get hung up on semantics) and safety and well being is paramount. I am quite confident no bride and groom want to be responsible for anyone to be in harm's way or worse, responsible for anyone's death.

Perhaps some people are not thinking clearly at the moment. But in due time I believe most people will understand the reasons some have chosen not to attend. In the meantime we are only responsible for our actions. We cannot control other's actions nor hold them responsible for what happens to us.

If you feel unsafe do not attend. It is up to you to take control of your health and concerns. Please do what feels right and best to you. What you do will not affect the couple in any meaningful way. Unless, g-d forbid, someone gets sick and dies as a consequence of attending their wedding.

Please do what is best and smart for you. There are often no do overs with Covid. It is a heartless and merciless disease that takes young and old alike. Please be safe and stay well. There will be better days ahead. Don't sacrifice now. Just get through this safely and there will be better days.

 

[MamaBee]

This is not directed at any one poster (though I hope it is OK quoting my friend @diamondseeker2006). This is to anyone struggling with a similar decision at the moment.

I hope this doesn't sound trite but all that really matters is that the bride and groom are marrying the loves of their lives and get to spend the rest of their lives together. This is but a blip on the radar that is their lives. Everyone should remember this and hold onto that.

They have their entire lives to spend together. Loving each other, supporting each other, being each other's best friends. Who attends their wedding and who doesn't is of no consequence in the long run.

We are still in a pandemic situation (endemic/pandemic it means the same thing basically let's not get hung up on semantics) and safety and well being is paramount. I am quite confident no bride and groom want to be responsible for anyone to be in harm's way or worse, responsible for anyone's death.

Perhaps some people are not thinking clearly at the moment. But in due time I believe most people will understand the reasons some have chosen not to attend. In the meantime we are only responsible for our actions. We cannot control other's actions nor hold them responsible for what happens to us.

If you feel unsafe do not attend. It is up to you to take control of your health and concerns. Please do what feels right and best to you. What you do will not affect the couple in any meaningful way. Unless, g-d forbid, someone gets sick and dies as a consequence of attending their wedding.

Please do what is best and smart for you. There are often no do overs with Covid. It is a heartless and merciless disease that takes young and old alike. Please be safe and stay well. There will be better days ahead. Don't sacrifice now. Just get through this safely and there will be better days.

Well said @missy..I feel the same. Unfortunately there are many people that don’t think that way. I’m hoping my friend doesn’t get upset with me. I’m dreading the phone call. I’m waiting until tomorrow or Thursday. She babysits her grandson on Monday and Tuesdays.
@Calliecake Did you talk to your friend?

 

[Calliecake]

@MamaBee, I talked to her and all is well. She isn’t upset with me at all. She knows how I feel about Covid and thought I may not feel comfortable. She said that if I wake up the day of the wedding and change my mind for us to please just show up.

She said she expects many people will not be attending due to it being an indoor event.

Mamabee I’m hoping it goes as smoothly with your friend. I stressed about this phone call for nothing. I hoping you say the same thing after your call. Please let me know how it goes with your friend.

 

[MamaBee]

@MamaBee, I talked to her and all is well. She isn’t upset with me at all. She knows how I feel about Covid and thought I may not feel comfortable. She said that if I wake up the day of the wedding and change my mind for us to please just show up.

She said she expects many people will not be attending due to it being an indoor event.

Mamabee I’m hoping it goes as smoothly with your friend. I stressed about this phone call for nothing. I hoping you say the same thing after your call. Please let me know how it goes with your friend.

@Calliecake I’m so happy it went well! I plan on calling her either tomorrow or Thursday..

 

[MamaBee]

@Calliecake I couldn’t stand it anymore. I called her. As soon as she heard my voice she started laughing and said,
“Joanne…You called to tell me you’re not coming to the wedding, right?” She said she knew I was nervous about coming…and was going to call me in a few days to tell me if I was nervous it was okay..I was too important to her to be mad at me. She invited 200 people..100 couples…Fifty responded they are coming but people were starting to call to say they were too nervous to go. I feel bad for her son and fiancé. Their honeymoon was cancelled because of the EU decision.

 

[OdetteOdile]

@Calliecake and @MamaBee Thank you for the update! I am so happy to hear that your friends were understanding, and that "the conversation" is behind you now!

 

[MamaBee]

@Calliecake and @MamaBee Thank you for the update! I am so happy to hear that your friends were understanding, and that "the conversation" is behind you now!

Thank you @OdetteOdile..I’m so relieved…

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@MamaBee, I talked to her and all is well. She isn’t upset with me at all. She knows how I feel about Covid and thought I may not feel comfortable. She said that if I wake up the day of the wedding and change my mind for us to please just show up.

She said she expects many people will not be attending due to it being an indoor event.

Mamabee I’m hoping it goes as smoothly with your friend. I stressed about this phone call for nothing. I hoping you say the same thing after your call. Please let me know how it goes with your friend.

phew
that went well
i hope your freind's son (? opps sorry can't remenber) has a lovelly wedding and everyone stays healthy

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Calliecake I couldn’t stand it anymore. I called her. As soon as she heard my voice she started laughing and said,
“Joanne…You called to tell me you’re not coming to the wedding, right?” She said she knew I was nervous about coming…and was going to call me in a few days to tell me if I was nervous it was okay..I was too important to her to be mad at me. She invited 200 people..100 couples…Fifty responded they are coming but people were starting to call to say they were too nervous to go. I feel bad for her son and fiancé. Their honeymoon was cancelled because of the EU decision.

oh im so releaved for you
i also do feel sorry for your freind and the bride and groom
well all brides and all grooms right now.
but its just the way it is
its not one wedding, its probably millions of weddings all over the world

but they have a lifetime ahead of them to have anniversary parties

i am happy for you
no more worry

 

[MamaBee]

oh im so releaved for you
i also do feel sorry for your freind and the bride and groom
well all brides and all grooms right now.
but its just the way it is
its not one wedding, its probably millions of weddings all over the world

but they have a lifetime ahead of them to have anniversary parties

i am happy for you
no more worry

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds..She made it very easy for me.

 

[Calliecake]

Thank you @Daisys and Diamonds, @MamaBee and OdetteOdile. I’m glad you called today MamaBee.

 

[icy_jade]

@MamaBee read this today and thought of you… Delta variant is super infectious, so absolutely think you made the right decision!

Medical Resident Explains How Dangerous Covid Is Even After You Get Vaccinated

A Seattle medical resident shared how she attended a wedding with proof of vaccination and still got covid. She added to her viral Twitter thread with thinking-out-loud-style tweets on more effective ways to prevent such cases.

www.boredpanda.com

 

[Dee*Jay]

I shared an elevator this morning with one of our receptionists. She told me she's getting married in nine days... indoors... with 190 guests (reduced from 350). I asked about masks and she said the venue hadn't given them any instruction so she wasn't planning on them unless a clear mandate was provided. She also alluded to the fact that some people there won't be vaccinated. I'll be staying farrrrrr away from the reception area for the next month!

 

[missy]

@MamaBee read this today and thought of you… Delta variant is super infectious, so absolutely think you made the right decision!

Medical Resident Explains How Dangerous Covid Is Even After You Get Vaccinated

A Seattle medical resident shared how she attended a wedding with proof of vaccination and still got covid. She added to her viral Twitter thread with thinking-out-loud-style tweets on more effective ways to prevent such cases.

www.boredpanda.com

Totally agree with this medical resident.




We (all of us) must change our thinking or we will be dealing with this for a very long time. Get vaccinated. Wear masks. Physical distancing. Be smart.

 

[MamaBee]

@MamaBee read this today and thought of you… Delta variant is super infectious, so absolutely think you made the right decision!

Medical Resident Explains How Dangerous Covid Is Even After You Get Vaccinated

A Seattle medical resident shared how she attended a wedding with proof of vaccination and still got covid. She added to her viral Twitter thread with thinking-out-loud-style tweets on more effective ways to prevent such cases.

www.boredpanda.com

Thank you for thinking of me @icy_jade..That’s awful..I would have thought it would be safe outdoors…That’s so scary!
I’m relieved with my decision. I also told my husband that if he planned on going to a game with his brother this weekend..I was going to my other house with my son..and not letting him in for two weeks. He cancelled it with his brother. He was upset but he did it.

 

[Calliecake]

We did the right thing for us @MamaBee. I would have been uncomfortable the whole time at the wedding. My friend said she knows some of the people coming to the wedding chose not to get vaccinated and the venue has no mask rules. She went to a bridal shower a week ago where the bride was not there due to both her and her fiancé being sick with covid.

Thank you for posting this @icy_jade.

 

[OboeGal]

@icy_jade, I'm so, so, so glad you posted that. I was coming here to say exactly what that post communicates - with the Delta variant, outdoors is no longer a "safe" zone. Is it better than indoors? Yes, but it is definitely NOT the safe zone that it was for the native and Alpha variants. Being in a group adds to the risk. Being in a group that is hanging around together in the same outdoor space for a length of time is even riskier than that.

The only wedding or event or party I would even remotely consider going to at this time would be a brief event totally outdoors, everyone masked, everyone vaccinated, 10 people or less who were very, very important to me and who I knew well enough to know that they were taking precautions in their everyday life and had a similar attitude toward this virus as I do. And frankly, those people wouldn't be trying to hold any such event right now.

@Calliecake and @MamaBee, I'm incredibly grateful that you both made smart decisions that protect not only yourselves but also show care and consideration to the greater community, and I'm relieved that your friends were supportive of your decisions.

 

[MamaBee]

We did the right thing for us @MamaBee. I would have been uncomfortable the whole time at the wedding. My friend said she knows some of the people coming to the wedding chose not to get vaccinated and the venue has no mask rules. She went to a bridal shower a week ago where the bride was not there due to both her and her fiancé being sick with covid.

Thank you for posting this @icy_jade.

I know we did @Calliecake. It is sad that we won’t be there though..

I don’t understand how people are carrying on with weddings like there isn’t a pandemic. I know they don’t want to be cheated out of their dream wedding…I really feel bad for them…but hosting a potential Covid super spreader event isn’t something I would want as a memory of my wedding.

 

[MamaBee]

@icy_jade, I'm so, so, so glad you posted that. I was coming here to say exactly what that post communicates - with the Delta variant, outdoors is no longer a "safe" zone. Is it better than indoors? Yes, but it is definitely NOT the safe zone that it was for the native and Alpha variants. Being in a group adds to the risk. Being in a group that is hanging around together in the same outdoor space for a length of time is even riskier than that.

The only wedding or event or party I would even remotely consider going to at this time would be a brief event totally outdoors, everyone masked, everyone vaccinated, 10 people or less who were very, very important to me and who I knew well enough to know that they were taking precautions in their everyday life and had a similar attitude toward this virus as I do. And frankly, those people wouldn't be trying to hold any such event right now.

@Calliecake and @MamaBee, I'm incredibly grateful that you both made smart decisions that protect not only yourselves but also show care and consideration to the greater community, and I'm relieved that your friends were supportive of your decisions.

Thanks @OboeGal..This really opened my eyes that outside isn’t safe without a mask either if we are around other people.

 

[icy_jade]

@MamaBee @Calliecake @OboeGal

So glad you found that somewhat helpful. Hopefully others in the same situation reads it as well - at least they are making more informed decisions even if they eventually decide to attend right?