Tearing my hair out

[surfgirl]

You know, I wasn't going to post on this thread at all, but after your last post, I wanted to say that I give you big props for posting a very dicey topic, taking a lot of heat, and responding in a mature and classy manner. Good for you. I get so tired of people posting here, whinging about something and only wanting to hear nicey nice responses, and getting pissy when not everyone is warm and fuzzy. You've taken a beating on this thread and you're still hearing what people are saying and I applaud you for that. It takes a big person to stand up to that without getting pissy and I think that's cool.

Now, about your ring...You seemed to love it before you found out the color. He seems to have done his best to get you the size you wanted, as well as other qualities that make it a good stone. It seems like what you might have impressed upon him most was the size you hoped for, and not much else, and therefore, he seems like that was the #1 criteria and the rest fell into line after size. Would that be correct? I'm not sure why you still haven't posted photos of this controversial stone but you should, so we can see what it looks like. Assuming it's a pretty stone, let it go and go back to loving it. Did your family say something to make you question the stone? I ask because they obviously seem to know about jewelry. I'm not getting the impression that he's offered to trade it for another smaller, higher color grade, but if he has, then you should probably do that and be done with it. But understand that you wont get as big a stone. Also, it's weird to me that you haven't seen the paperwork on your own ring. I think it's reasonable to ask for it, and to get it appraised right away for insurance purposes. Unless your FI and/or the jeweler is hiding something from you, there's no reason you shouldn't see the paperwork and/or get the ring appraised as it's a normal part of the process for insurance.

As for the budget, do you even know what his budget was/is? It's interesting and telling to me if you dont. I think financial issues are so important for couples to be open about. I knew our budget before we started looking because I didn't want to look at things way over the top, and I also wanted to give him options at different price points, so he could decide which he was most comfortable spending in the end. It seems like he did the best with the budget he had, again, focusing on size first. You cant fault the guy for that. Also, you say he's known to be cheap and honestly, a lot of people who have a lot of money are cheap. I know people who own their own plane but they complain it's too expensive to fly coast to coast for family gatherings and I'm thinking "fly commercial you stooge!" Many people amass wealth precisely BY being "cheap". If this aspect of your FI really bothers you, you should explore it in couples counseling before you go further with this engagement because financial incompatibility is a huge barrier to overcome for most couples.

 

[decodelighted]

Whew! Girlie, you''re *good*. Taking all the different opinions like a champ & getting what you can from it. We ALL have less than ideal thoughts & feelings & expectancies ... the trick is being able to call yourself on them & explore & make rational/empathetic choices about how to deal with things. Communication is SO important in relationships. Being able to say things that DO hurt people, but then sift through each others feelings with compassion & care & RECOVER from the hurt: priceless.

Anyhoo. You don''t have to send your ring for an appraisal. You could schedule an appt & go to an INDEPENDENT appraiser yourself. (Not a jeweler who wishes he''d gotten the biz). Though your FI thinks he "educated himself" very well meaning people do months of research & still not realize that in IGI cert isn''t as reliable as a GIA or AGS cert. Or that any cert is needed if the jeweler is sweettalking them into a good deal. SMART people don''t always "get it". So you won''t really know what happened until you get an objective opinion of what he got (& what he *thought* he was getting).

Now, say he bought an IGI "H", which turned out to be an AGS on-the-low-side "J" ... if he paid the price of an AGS "J", and it''s beautiful, and if you could still love it with peace-of-mind, then keep it!

If *he''s* been cheated or mis-informed & over paid by a lot then maybe you''ll both want to see if the ring can be returned etc.

If you decide that its really, really, really important to you to have a smaller, whiter stone -- they I think you should confess that as well. It may be a bit "selfish" but THAT''S LIFE. If you feel that way you really should be able to confess that not so pretty yet not tragiclly awful feeling to your SO. And he should be able to discuss with you how he feels about it and whether it''s on a scale of 1-10 more imp. to him to keep or more imp. for you to trade. I 100% don''t think this is a usual shut-up-and-be-happy "gift", as you''ll be wearing it forever & have strong feelings about it due to your individual upbringing & tastes. Believe me, you''ll be negotiating stuff like this FOREVER. And will have to confess many other "selfish" desires -- because, geez, its human nature. And dudes need things spelled out.

 

[prettycushion]

Date: 7/17/2008 1:24:54 PM
Author: surfgirl
You know, I wasn''t going to post on this thread at all, but after your last post, I wanted to say that I give you big props for posting a very dicey topic, taking a lot of heat, and responding in a mature and classy manner. Good for you. I get so tired of people posting here, whinging about something and only wanting to hear nicey nice responses, and getting pissy when not everyone is warm and fuzzy. You''ve taken a beating on this thread and you''re still hearing what people are saying and I applaud you for that. It takes a big person to stand up to that without getting pissy and I think that''s cool.


Now, about your ring...You seemed to love it before you found out the color. He seems to have done his best to get you the size you wanted, as well as other qualities that make it a good stone. It seems like what you might have impressed upon him most was the size you hoped for, and not much else, and therefore, he seems like that was the #1 criteria and the rest fell into line after size. Would that be correct? I''m not sure why you still haven''t posted photos of this controversial stone but you should, so we can see what it looks like. Assuming it''s a pretty stone, let it go and go back to loving it. Did your family say something to make you question the stone? I ask because they obviously seem to know about jewelry. I''m not getting the impression that he''s offered to trade it for another smaller, higher color grade, but if he has, then you should probably do that and be done with it. But understand that you wont get as big a stone. Also, it''s weird to me that you haven''t seen the paperwork on your own ring. I think it''s reasonable to ask for it, and to get it appraised right away for insurance purposes. Unless your FI and/or the jeweler is hiding something from you, there''s no reason you shouldn''t see the paperwork and/or get the ring appraised as it''s a normal part of the process for insurance.


As for the budget, do you even know what his budget was/is? It''s interesting and telling to me if you dont. I think financial issues are so important for couples to be open about. I knew our budget before we started looking because I didn''t want to look at things way over the top, and I also wanted to give him options at different price points, so he could decide which he was most comfortable spending in the end. It seems like he did the best with the budget he had, again, focusing on size first. You cant fault the guy for that. Also, you say he''s known to be cheap and honestly, a lot of people who have a lot of money are cheap. I know people who own their own plane but they complain it''s too expensive to fly coast to coast for family gatherings and I''m thinking ''fly commercial you stooge!'' Many people amass wealth precisely BY being ''cheap''. If this aspect of your FI really bothers you, you should explore it in couples counseling before you go further with this engagement because financial incompatibility is a huge barrier to overcome for most couples.

Surfgirl,
First, thank you! I appreciate your compliments.

The ring: The more I look at it I really do like it, despite the recent controversy. My FI did also say in our last discussion that I was welcome to trade it in for something really white and perfect. (He did make the point that it would be quite a bit smaller)

The budget: No, I have no idea what his budget was at all. It seems ruder to me to ask about that than about the cert. And he never brought it up with me when asking about rings. I think part of the reason I asked for 2ct was because I was a little afraid he''d go really budget on it. Because the price really does have something to do with our issue here. I know that he is cheap precisely so that he will be wealthy, and so long as it''s not over-the-top I''m ok with that. I just want to make sure he can get over it when it''s something important for people he cares about. He''s not super generous when it comes to gifts in general whereas I''m the type of person that will save all my pennies for the perfect gift. I''ll spend as much as I can without being financially irresponsible.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/17/2008 12:58:53 PM
Author: girlie-girl
I'm really happy to see a post from you after all this thread has been through. I'm also very pleased that you have been able to pick out the advice that was given with good intentions and take a good look at the situation both from your perspective and how it appears from others'. Kudos to you for being honest with your guy even though his original reaction wasn't the best. I never said so, but I too thought he probably picked out what he thought was the best for what you wanted. It sounds like that was exactly the case so I'm not too surprised with his reaction.


As far as him thinking he got a diamond graded higher than K and you feeling the jeweler's comment about its color is valid, I'd suggest sending the ring to an independant appraiser to make sure. I don't suggest that because I feel the ring is lower than what he thought he was getting, but more because I want you both to be paying for the color you've received and the only way to know that for sure is to have it appraised (does it have a GIA cert to match it to?).


Hang in there, it sounds like with some more open discussions things will be okay. Keep us posted and thanks for not disappearing on us.

Now, with regard to pics of this ring that has caused so much discussion. Do you feel comfortable sharing pics with us? I'd love to see it!


Have a great day!

Seconding this.

There is a world of difference between the OP and your last post, PrettyCushion, and it speaks volumes about how upset you were when you posted the OP. That's not uncommon as many people come on here in a state of distress and to vent, and then respond emotionally to the replies instead of calmly. Kudos to you for handling it the way you have.

I agree with those posters who have expressed concern that your FI may have bought a diamond without a cert, and that sending it to an independent appraiser to ensure the diamond is what your FI paid for.

If you are reluctant to bring it up again, you could tell him that based on what the jeweler said, you have worried about the possibility they may have sold him an uncertified stone. If he replies that he has the cert, you can express your relief that you two have it for insurance purposes, and if it's uncerted, then you need to send it to an independent appraiser for insurance purposes.

I find that when it comes to things I am embarrassed to be anxious about, I confess to my hubby that while I feel silly being anxious, I am anxious about it and it's upsetting me. When it becomes a matter of soothing my feelings instead of an implied criticism, he tends to respond with concern for me instead of defensively.

Also, kudos to you for taking the negative comments with grace and gleaning them as grounds for self-reflection.

Please keep us updated, and I'm looking forward to the pictures of your pretty cushion.

Edit: This thread moves fast- when I started typing the last page didn't exist yet, I apologize for repeating what this page has already said.

Author: Prettycushion

I know that he is cheap precisely so that he will be wealthy, and so long as it's not over-the-top I'm ok with that. I just want to make sure he can get over it when it's something important for people he cares about. He's not super generous when it comes to gifts in general whereas I'm the type of person that will save all my pennies for the perfect gift. I'll spend as much as I can without being financially irresponsible.

This was what I was getting at in my first reply, and I'm relieved to see that you are going to explore this with your FI and make sure you two are on the same page. It's not unreasonable to suggest that when it comes to 'special' gifts, part of what makes it special is how much effort the giver put into the gift, whether it's monetary effort or otherwise.

It's encouraging that your FI put the effort into educating himself on the 4C's, as rcrosier mentioned.

 

[surfgirl]

Wait, did you take this ring to YOUR jeweler or to the jeweler that he bought the ring from??? I thought it was one and the same...

 

[Irishgrrrl]

PrettyCushion~

I''m sorry I''m checking in so late on this thread . . . I don''t know how I missed it! I love cushions, and I''d love to see yours whenever you can post pictures!

About the color issue: I think you have a valid concern. Some people are highly color-sensitive, and while something in the J/K/L color range may be fine for one person, someone else may prefer a whiter stone (even if that means sacrificing some size and/or clarity). There''s nothing wrong with that . . . it all comes down to personal taste. Remember, YOU are the one who has to wear this diamond every day for the rest of your life, and both you and he need to do whatever is necessary (within reason) to make sure it''s "mind clean" for you. And I do think the issue of financial compatibility is a good one to explore now, before the wedding. It seems that the purchase of your e-ring has brought that issue to the forefront, and that''s a good thing. If you two can talk about this reasonably, like adults (which you appear to have done), that''s a good sign. No married couple agrees all the time about everything . . . the key is being able to talk to each other.

I agree with the point that others have made regarding the certification. If he bought the stone uncertified, then he really has no way of knowing for sure what the color grade (or clarity grade, or cut grade, or carat weight) really is . . . he can only go on what the jeweler told him when he bought the stone, which may have been inaccurate for a number of reasons. If the stone is certified, I think you do have a right to see the cert, because the stone is yours and you are now wearing it and are responsible for it. If nothing else, you should be able to provide a copy of the cert to your insurance agent. I agree, however, that you should be careful in how you ask him for the cert. I can tell from your recent posts that you are concerned about offending or upsetting him, and I understand that.

If, on the other hand, the stone is not certified, you should definitely have an independent appraisal done. Again, you would probably need this for insurance purposes anyway.

Good luck to you, and please let us know how this turns out. And I bet it''s BEAUTIFUL! We''re anxiously awaiting those pics!!!

 

[prettycushion]

No.

I met the jeweler he bought it from briefly when we went in to have the band resized.

I had gone in to my own usual jeweler two days ago, looking at wedding bands and admittedly just a little curious about my own diamond. The guy who helped me was not my usual guy, but they have proven really knowledgeable and helpful in the past. They have helped me alter,repair and sell some of my old pieces. I love that they give me pretty good information without full-blown appraisals because it helps me make decisions on things that I may not know much about or may not be worth going through a full appraisal for. I have compared their evaluations on certain pieces with other stores and they have proven accurate and fairly priced. So, he looked at my diamond while still mounted, but I have good reason to believe these guys are fair and GIA trained.

 

[prettycushion]

Date: 7/17/2008 2:16:21 PM
Author: prettycushion
No.


I met the jeweler he bought it from briefly when we went in to have the band resized.


I had gone in to my own usual jeweler two days ago, looking at wedding bands and admittedly just a little curious about my own diamond. The guy who helped me was not my usual guy, but they have proven really knowledgeable and helpful in the past. They have helped me alter,repair and sell some of my old pieces. I love that they give me pretty good information without full-blown appraisals because it helps me make decisions on things that I may not know much about or may not be worth going through a full appraisal for. I have compared their evaluations on certain pieces with other stores and they have proven accurate and fairly priced. So, he looked at my diamond while still mounted, but I have good reason to believe these guys are fair and GIA trained.

Ah! Forgot the qoute again. This was in response to surfgirl''s last comment.

 

[surfgirl]

Well no matter how much you trust your own jeweler, this raises red flags for me. You should take the ring to an independent appraiser to really determine what you have there. There''s too much room for "conflict of interest" in your jewelers opinions.

 

[tberube]

I'm actually surprised that he hasn't just shown you the certificate yet. Especially since you're such a diamond enthusiast, I would think he'd know right off the bat that he should show it to you. Sounds like you should get it insured anyway.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

ummmmm, PHOTOS PLEASE....

I am sure we will all ooooooh and ahhhhhhh....


If its beautiful and it sparkles I say love it and move on.

Good luck and congratulations on your engagement prettycushion!

 

[february2003bride]

Date: 7/17/2008 2:24:01 PM
Author: surfgirl
Well no matter how much you trust your own jeweler, this raises red flags for me. You should take the ring to an independent appraiser to really determine what you have there. There''s too much room for ''conflict of interest'' in your jewelers opinions.

Ditto! An independant apprasial is priceless, especially if yoru ring gets damaged. lost or stolen and your insurance wants detailed information.

I''m also surprised he hasn''t just shown you the certificate?

 

[purrfectpear]

Just as long as you are OK with the fact that an appraisal while mounted, independent or not, will NOT be as accurate a proper grading with the unmounted stone, face down. It is the ONLY way to get a GIA or AGS report. The value of your stone will depend on the report, NOT on an appraisal, even if GIA trained. Appraisals are trained opinions, not GIA reports.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 7/17/2008 2:46:53 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Just as long as you are OK with the fact that an appraisal while mounted, independent or not, will NOT be as accurate a proper grading with the unmounted stone, face down. It is the ONLY way to get a GIA or AGS report. The value of your stone will depend on the report, NOT on an appraisal, even if GIA trained. Appraisals are trained opinions, not GIA reports.

perrfectpear, I''m not sure why you think that an independent appraisal isn''t worth anything because it most certainly is good enough for most insurance companies. And even though I''d say I trust GIA more than any other lab, I also know they do make mistakes as well. There''s absolutely nothing wrong with getting an independent appraisal from someone well respected in their field.

 

[phoenixgirl]

Date: 7/17/2008 1:45:55 PM
Author: prettycushion


Surfgirl,
First, thank you! I appreciate your compliments.

The ring: The more I look at it I really do like it, despite the recent controversy. My FI did also say in our last discussion that I was welcome to trade it in for something really white and perfect. (He did make the point that it would be quite a bit smaller)

The budget: No, I have no idea what his budget was at all. It seems ruder to me to ask about that than about the cert. And he never brought it up with me when asking about rings. I think part of the reason I asked for 2ct was because I was a little afraid he''d go really budget on it. Because the price really does have something to do with our issue here. I know that he is cheap precisely so that he will be wealthy, and so long as it''s not over-the-top I''m ok with that. I just want to make sure he can get over it when it''s something important for people he cares about. He''s not super generous when it comes to gifts in general whereas I''m the type of person that will save all my pennies for the perfect gift. I''ll spend as much as I can without being financially irresponsible.

Ah, the yin and yang of it all. It sounds like you guys are doing a good job communicating and understanding where the other is coming from. This is a big part of being married. You know the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you? I don''t think that''s quite right in marriage. If I did unto my husband as I wanted him to do unto me, I''d just give him diamonds all the time. And he''d give me bikes.

Being frugal is admirable. So many people are in debt out the yahoo, as has been mentioned earlier in this thread. So you will help balance out his frugal tendencies when they are keeping him from enjoying the disposable money that he has, and he will keep his eye on the goal of savings and help you guys stay in a good position financially. I wouldn''t see his frugal tendencies as a flaw but as a character trait that you can balance out with your own traits. That way, if there is something you feel you two should spend money on but he is unsure about it, you can see it as how he is wired, and how he balances you out, not as him not loving or valuing you or others in your lives.

These have been tough things for me and my husband, really. It''s just something we had to go through, not getting each other, not understanding each other''s perspectives. I can''t speak for anyone else, but I imagine that''s pretty common. But the key is that you talk it out, you compromise, you consider the other person''s wishes and feelings . . .

So you get a relationship gold star . . . you were honest, he was honest, he was willing to compromise, you look down at your hand and really do love the sparkle (and even if you decide you want something else and do trade, I''m just glad that you were able to have that conversation and he was more concerned with you being happy than with what people would think) . . . I like happy endings!

 

[HollyS]

I don''t know how I missed this thread so that I am the dead last poster (now), but. . . .

I think this has been talked right into the ground. Ridiculously so. Mostly because we had to have everybody add their two cents:

the truth tellers (people who see things exactly as they have been presented)
the soothers (everything will be just fine, wait and see)
the peer group (I feel just like you; you''re right)
the net nannies (why do you want to be ugly to the OP? You''re jealous, petty, and hateful)
the voices of reason (staying above the fray and remaining calm no matter what)
the hijackers (for some reason, it always becomes about them)
the sunnysides (Skippy and Company)

I''m sure we all recognize which category we fall into. Perhaps next time we post we will give it some thought before we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And let''s let the OP jump to their own defense please, and stop criticizing each other. My post is no more valid than yours and vice versa. Period. It matters not that you like or dislike what I have to say. Keep it to yourself and focus on the OP.

I have my own opinion about the OP''s situation. I think I''ll keep it to myself. I might offend someone.

 

[that_someone_special]

Hi prettycushion!

Let me say, my first reaction to your post was something along the lines of, "what snot..!"

But, then I read the responses, your responses.. and I must say.. that I think there were a lot of points made.
I am in a similar situation with my BF.. he makes more money (ok, before he was laid off).. and I would get a little whiney if he splurged on himself, but not me. I wanted pretty things too! (Makes me sound bratty). Point being, is that, I get it. It''s a ring you want forever and you want a beautiful, gorgeous ring to show that. It''s not showing how much you love each other or anything, because rings can''t do that. BUT, if he has the money, I can understand why you''d be a little crushed.

I think that if you love the cut and clarity.. perhaps keep it for awhile. See if you grow to love it. It''s not about the money spent over the diamond-- remember that, it''s how you FEEL about the diamond.

If you still dislike it, exchange it for another one. Just talk to him about it. Tell him he did an excellent job picking out the diamond, but you ARE a little color sensitive ("I''m so pale.. It looks so yellow on my hand. I''d prefer something lighter"). Tell him, in exchange, you''ll take a slightly smaller diamond for a higher color. It shouldn''t cost that much more. See what he says.

Good luck too, ya brat! (just kidding

)

 

[tberube]

Date: 7/17/2008 4:04:19 PM
Author: HollyS
I don''t know how I missed this thread so that I am the dead last poster (now), but. . . .


I think this has been talked right into the ground. Ridiculously so. Mostly because we had to have everybody add their two cents:


the truth tellers (people who see things exactly as they have been presented)

the soothers (everything will be just fine, wait and see)

the peer group (I feel just like you; you''re right)

the net nannies (why do you want to be ugly to the OP? You''re jealous, petty, and hateful)

the voices of reason (staying above the fray and remaining calm no matter what)

the hijackers (for some reason, it always becomes about them)

the sunnysides (Skippy and Company)


I''m sure we all recognize which category we fall into. Perhaps next time we post we will give it some thought before we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And let''s let the OP jump to their own defense please, and stop criticizing each other. My post is no more valid than yours and vice versa. Period. It matters not that you like or dislike what I have to say. Keep it to yourself and focus on the OP.


I have my own opinion about the OP''s situation. I think I''ll keep it to myself. I might offend someone.

LOVE IT!!

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

prettycushion, Sorry if I missed it, but is your diamond certified? If so, then a look at the cert will answer your question about the color. Definitely ask your FI to see the cert. There is no reason for you not to see it.

Also, have you posted photos of your ring, yet? If not, please do coz many of us want to see this rock!!!

 

[purrfectpear]

Date: 7/17/2008 2:50:08 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 7/17/2008 2:46:53 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Just as long as you are OK with the fact that an appraisal while mounted, independent or not, will NOT be as accurate a proper grading with the unmounted stone, face down. It is the ONLY way to get a GIA or AGS report. The value of your stone will depend on the report, NOT on an appraisal, even if GIA trained. Appraisals are trained opinions, not GIA reports.

perrfectpear, I''m not sure why you think that an independent appraisal isn''t worth anything because it most certainly is good enough for most insurance companies. And even though I''d say I trust GIA more than any other lab, I also know they do make mistakes as well. There''s absolutely nothing wrong with getting an independent appraisal from someone well respected in their field.

I''m not saying it isn''t worth anything. It''s fine for a valuation.

OP isn''t trying to determine the value of her stone. Her primary concern is the color grade. She will only get a true grade through GIA or AGS.
An appraiser can give his/her trained opinion, but it will never be considered as authoritative as a report. If they were considered the same, we''d all be OK with the GIA trained appraisals offered on eBay

I''m only stressing that since COLOR is the main hang up here, the stone needs to be unmounted and graded. Cool?

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 7/17/2008 6:09:55 PM
Author: purrfectpear
An appraiser can give his/her trained opinion, but it will never be considered as authoritative as a report. If they were considered the same, we''d all be OK with the GIA trained appraisals offered on eBay

Respectfully disagree that Ebay appraisals by the *vendor* (GIA-trained or not) are the same as INDEPENDENT appraisals by an uninterested, objective party. I''m not sure the OP needs/wants to know the EXACT unmounted color grade (which would involve unmounting the stone, paying for shipping both ways, paying for a new cert). That is, if it doesn''t have a GIA or AGS cert already.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 7/17/2008 4:04:19 PM
Author: HollyS
I don''t know how I missed this thread so that I am the dead last poster (now), but. . . .

I think this has been talked right into the ground. Ridiculously so. Mostly because we had to have everybody add their two cents:

the truth tellers (people who see things exactly as they have been presented)
the soothers (everything will be just fine, wait and see)
the peer group (I feel just like you; you''re right)
the net nannies (why do you want to be ugly to the OP? You''re jealous, petty, and hateful)
the voices of reason (staying above the fray and remaining calm no matter what)
the hijackers (for some reason, it always becomes about them)
the sunnysides (Skippy and Company)

I''m sure we all recognize which category we fall into. Perhaps next time we post we will give it some thought before we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And let''s let the OP jump to their own defense please, and stop criticizing each other. My post is no more valid than yours and vice versa. Period. It matters not that you like or dislike what I have to say. Keep it to yourself and focus on the OP.

I have my own opinion about the OP''s situation. I think I''ll keep it to myself. I might offend someone.

Where do I fall....I want to be lumped in with Skippy!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/17/2008 4:04:19 PM
Author: HollyS
I don''t know how I missed this thread so that I am the dead last poster (now), but. . . .

I think this has been talked right into the ground. Ridiculously so. Mostly because we had to have everybody add their two cents:

the truth tellers (people who see things exactly as they have been presented)
the soothers (everything will be just fine, wait and see)
the peer group (I feel just like you; you''re right)
the net nannies (why do you want to be ugly to the OP? You''re jealous, petty, and hateful)
the voices of reason (staying above the fray and remaining calm no matter what)
the hijackers (for some reason, it always becomes about them)
the sunnysides (Skippy and Company)

I''m sure we all recognize which category we fall into. Perhaps next time we post we will give it some thought before we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And let''s let the OP jump to their own defense please, and stop criticizing each other. My post is no more valid than yours and vice versa. Period. It matters not that you like or dislike what I have to say. Keep it to yourself and focus on the OP.

I have my own opinion about the OP''s situation. I think I''ll keep it to myself. I might offend someone.

Holly
which category would i fall into?

 

[diamondfan]

Holly, me three! I think we all want to be in one category over another...

I think DF is in the "lob in the grenade and run like heck" category

He always keeps it interesting!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/17/2008 6:24:43 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/17/2008 4:04:19 PM
Author: HollyS
I don''t know how I missed this thread so that I am the dead last poster (now), but. . . .

I think this has been talked right into the ground. Ridiculously so. Mostly because we had to have everybody add their two cents:

the truth tellers (people who see things exactly as they have been presented)
the soothers (everything will be just fine, wait and see)
the peer group (I feel just like you; you''re right)
the net nannies (why do you want to be ugly to the OP? You''re jealous, petty, and hateful)
the voices of reason (staying above the fray and remaining calm no matter what)
the hijackers (for some reason, it always becomes about them)
the sunnysides (Skippy and Company)

I''m sure we all recognize which category we fall into. Perhaps next time we post we will give it some thought before we blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. And let''s let the OP jump to their own defense please, and stop criticizing each other. My post is no more valid than yours and vice versa. Period. It matters not that you like or dislike what I have to say. Keep it to yourself and focus on the OP.

I have my own opinion about the OP''s situation. I think I''ll keep it to myself. I might offend someone.

Holly
which category would i fall into?

I forgot - - you should have your own category! Prankster!!!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 7/17/2008 2:27:58 PM
Author: tberube
I''m actually surprised that he hasn''t just shown you the certificate yet. Especially since you''re such a diamond enthusiast, I would think he''d know right off the bat that he should show it to you. Sounds like you should get it insured anyway.

This was my first thought!

My husband proposed and within a few hours, asked me if I wanted to see the certificate.

Congrats on the engagement PrettyCushion - I can''t wait to see pics!

 

[HollyS]

iwanna: sometimes you''re a sunnyside; sometimes a soother.

It''s no big secret which category I''m in!

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/17/2008 6:56:56 PM
Author: HollyS
iwanna: sometimes you're a sunnyside; sometimes a soother.


It's no big secret which category I'm in!

We're missing a category or two: those who make wild suppositions based on limited information, and those who enjoy 'ripping people a new one' and will pounce on any opening that comes their way.

Luckily, the former tend to evolve into something else, and the latter get chastised by the 'net nannies' and either learn some manners or wander away from the forum.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/17/2008 7:14:23 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 7/17/2008 6:56:56 PM
Author: HollyS
iwanna: sometimes you''re a sunnyside; sometimes a soother.


It''s no big secret which category I''m in!

We''re missing a category or two: those who make wild suppositions based on limited information, and those who enjoy ''ripping people a new one'' and will pounce on any opening that comes their way.

Luckily, the former tend to evolve into something else, and the latter get chastised by the ''net nannies'' and either learn some manners or wander away from the forum.

No. I covered them. They''re there. Just not as you would identify them.

 

[purrfectpear]

This reminds me of Jack Nicholson, in A Few Good Men