Dear Diary

[choro72]

Date: 6/20/2008 2:12:30 AM
Author: honey22
Absolutely priceless! I love it! You should keep going and write all these down, you could write a book at the end of it all and make some $$$ back. That post put a smile on my face!!

Hahaha, I''m glad I made people laugh

I do plan to keep adding stuff here whenever I feel stressed. We are still at the stage of locking down a venue, so I''m sure more will come up! Wanna help me get a publisher?

winston, how about filing a complaint with the BBB? I don''t know about laws, but it sounds like your DJ is trying very hard to get you off their back...I say do NOT give in!
Not that this is going to be any consolation to you, but your story has taught me that I need to jot down notes whenever a vendor screws up. Who, when, where, and how...But it must be hard to simultaneously enjoy the wedding and preparing yourself to file a lawsuit.

This is so wrong though. People getting married shouldn''t have to worry about this.

 

[sumbride]

Thanks Gypsy! Yes, totally her idea to spend all that money! I canceled the crab cakes, she added salmon mousse. All her!

Winston - alas, I didn''t have a tiara, but I could totally put my pearl comb into a french twist. Thanks for the idea!

 

[sumbride]

Winston - The regrets will go away... and the "things that didn''t go right" will stick for a while, but remember that nobody else noticed! I definitely felt the same way when it was over... lots of things that I wanted to happen that didn''t... and why does everybody have to be in the dressing room! GET OUT PEOPLE! I had the same situation. I really wanted calm peaceful time with my bridesmaids. I got every female relative I''ve ever had trying to "check" on things. Get out! I wanted to play yahtzee! Not diplomat!

It does get easier. I imagine in a couple of years I won''t remember any of the bad stuff. Hoping the same for you!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

I would like to play as well even though I am not sure if I “officially” qualify.

Dear Diary:

It has been almost a month since we agreed to set our wedding date before the “official” engagement. My wonderful FFI tried so hard to get a ring in time for my May birthday but was not aware of just how difficult it can be to find that perfect asscher. I have been promised my ring by the end of the summer and I am fine with continuing to wait. I know he has a plan in mind and I am going to let him do his thing. Why, then, am I so terrified of what other people are thinking while I am starting to plan this wedding? FFI is on board, my parents are on board and most of my closest friends already know we’ve set the date and are happily helping me to work out a venue for our Halloween wedding. Despite all the support, I still feel like I am a psycho to the outside world. I feel like to FFI and I, the ring is nothing more than a formality we have to participate in so that the rest of the world will see us as we have always seen ourselves: walking down the road to the altar. I am so frustrated and angry with myself for succumbing to the pressures of outsiders. I just feel like without a shiny ring, people do not take you seriously and that saddens me.
__________________________________

Dear K:

I think out of everyone your opinion and judgment of our decision has hit me the hardest. You were the first person I told when we decided to set the date. I couldn’t wait to call you and tell you that after twentysomething years of friendship I could finally ask you to be my Maid of Honor. I was dumbfounded when it took you 3 days to find time to TEXT MESSAGE me (not call me back even) and I was gutted when you finally did phone to tear me apart and tell me that I am “foolish”, “silly”, “hopeless”, “shouldn’t be planning without a ring” and above all, “NOT engaged”. I can’t even begin to describe to you how horrifically it hurt to hear you say those things particularly because you know FFI and I have always done things “out of order” during our 5 years together and never once have you ever uttered such mean spirited comments about our decisions including when we bought a house without being engaged! It is not as though we are 22 years old making this decision. We are both full grown adults who realize that the ring, while it will always stand as a symbol of how much FFI loves me, is not necessary to have when deciding to get engaged. I wish that more people felt the way FFI and I do and less felt the way you do.

 

[winston26]

Date: 6/20/2008 11:07:52 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

I would like to play as well even though I am not sure if I “officially” qualify.

Dear Diary:

It has been almost a month since we agreed to set our wedding date before the “official” engagement. My wonderful FFI tried so hard to get a ring in time for my May birthday but was not aware of just how difficult it can be to find that perfect asscher. I have been promised my ring by the end of the summer and I am fine with continuing to wait. I know he has a plan in mind and I am going to let him do his thing. Why, then, am I so terrified of what other people are thinking while I am starting to plan this wedding? FFI is on board, my parents are on board and most of my closest friends already know we’ve set the date and are happily helping me to work out a venue for our Halloween wedding. Despite all the support, I still feel like I am a psycho to the outside world. I feel like to FFI and I, the ring is nothing more than a formality we have to participate in so that the rest of the world will see us as we have always seen ourselves: walking down the road to the altar. I am so frustrated and angry with myself for succumbing to the pressures of outsiders. I just feel like without a shiny ring, people do not take you seriously and that saddens me.
__________________________________

Dear K:

I think out of everyone your opinion and judgment of our decision has hit me the hardest. You were the first person I told when we decided to set the date. I couldn’t wait to call you and tell you that after twentysomething years of friendship I could finally ask you to be my Maid of Honor. I was dumbfounded when it took you 3 days to find time to TEXT MESSAGE me (not call me back even) and I was gutted when you finally did phone to tear me apart and tell me that I am “foolish”, “silly”, “hopeless”, “shouldn’t be planning without a ring” and above all, “NOT engaged”. I can’t even begin to describe to you how horrifically it hurt to hear you say those things particularly because you know FFI and I have always done things “out of order” during our 5 years together and never once have you ever uttered such mean spirited comments about our decisions including when we bought a house without being engaged! It is not as though we are 22 years old making this decision. We are both full grown adults who realize that the ring, while it will always stand as a symbol of how much FFI loves me, is not necessary to have when deciding to get engaged. I wish that more people felt the way FFI and I do and less felt the way you do.

I am impressed and think you are smart to start planning the wedding prior to the ring. As long as you are absolutely positively sure he will not back out (sounds like you are!) and he''s on-board with pre-planning, then kudos to you! My BF at the time took soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrifying long to pick out the ring (deep fear of getting ripped off by jewelers) that we wasted a lot of time. I started to go to bridal shows, etc. before even being engaged knowing I had to get it going (not getting any younger and we''ve dated forrrrever). Ended up having to plan all of it in 4 months which was crazy. People start booking weddings 1-1.5+ years out on average, and then you quickly are limited in your venue and vendor choices, and it''s seriously frustrating. Some bridal shops refused to even work with me. So if you committed to a date before the ring, that sounds more normal to me and smart than waiting for the formality. Getting the top wedding vendors out there has become more of a race to the finish/contest than anything else. And like you said, it''s more difficult than we thought to find that perfect diamond! The only hard part is you may feel like you can''t discuss all your wedding plans you''re making until you''ve officially announced the engagement. Think of it this way, as soon as you get engaged, EVERYONE''S first question is "did you set a date?" as most people are thinking "Uh, I just got engaged yesterday???" so you will be able to actually answer them....might throw a few people off

 

[mjso]

Date: 6/20/2008 11:07:52 AM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

I would like to play as well even though I am not sure if I “officially” qualify.

Dear Diary:

It has been almost a month since we agreed to set our wedding date before the “official” engagement. My wonderful FFI tried so hard to get a ring in time for my May birthday but was not aware of just how difficult it can be to find that perfect asscher. I have been promised my ring by the end of the summer and I am fine with continuing to wait. I know he has a plan in mind and I am going to let him do his thing. Why, then, am I so terrified of what other people are thinking while I am starting to plan this wedding? FFI is on board, my parents are on board and most of my closest friends already know we’ve set the date and are happily helping me to work out a venue for our Halloween wedding. Despite all the support, I still feel like I am a psycho to the outside world. I feel like to FFI and I, the ring is nothing more than a formality we have to participate in so that the rest of the world will see us as we have always seen ourselves: walking down the road to the altar. I am so frustrated and angry with myself for succumbing to the pressures of outsiders. I just feel like without a shiny ring, people do not take you seriously and that saddens me.
__________________________________

Dear K:

I think out of everyone your opinion and judgment of our decision has hit me the hardest. You were the first person I told when we decided to set the date. I couldn’t wait to call you and tell you that after twentysomething years of friendship I could finally ask you to be my Maid of Honor. I was dumbfounded when it took you 3 days to find time to TEXT MESSAGE me (not call me back even) and I was gutted when you finally did phone to tear me apart and tell me that I am “foolish”, “silly”, “hopeless”, “shouldn’t be planning without a ring” and above all, “NOT engaged”. I can’t even begin to describe to you how horrifically it hurt to hear you say those things particularly because you know FFI and I have always done things “out of order” during our 5 years together and never once have you ever uttered such mean spirited comments about our decisions including when we bought a house without being engaged! It is not as though we are 22 years old making this decision. We are both full grown adults who realize that the ring, while it will always stand as a symbol of how much FFI loves me, is not necessary to have when deciding to get engaged. I wish that more people felt the way FFI and I do and less felt the way you do.

Just wanted to chime in and let you know that my mom doesn''t have an engagement ring. Didn''t want one, never had one. My parents have been happily married for 32 years, so obviously a ring isn''t necessary.

I almost feel weird having a ring, since it obviously isn''t a big deal in my family...

 

[lurkinglurker]

Keepingthefaith: I went through the *exact* same thing. I even booked the venue the day he proposed (about 5 hours earlier . And I had that same one good friend who got really frustrated with us for some reason for doing it this way and gave me a lecture on the "importance of the proposal and the ring." Don''t worry about other people! And don''t worry about seeming crazy! If it works for ya''ll (and it worked for us) that''s all that matters.

 

[Gypsy]

Keeping the Faith,

A) You qualify.
B) Can I please smack your friend upside her narrow minded idiot head?
C) You ARE engaged. It's a state of mind.

John asked me to marry him 2 months after we met. I said yes. I didn't get my ring for... 3 years after. It was no one's business but ours. How you play it off affects hopw people treat you. If you are confident and secure and make it clear to them that the ring is not a big deal.... they will respond to that. But if you are unsure or appear like you have a weakness... then they will exploit it.

I went to Kleinfelds and tried on dresses without a ring! If they get nosey you can a) tell them the truth, you are searching for the ring diamond, it's a fancy cut, and you haven't found the right one yet or B) you can lie and just tell them its getting repaired or sized. It's really none of their business. I told my nosey sales lady at Macy's (Kleinfelds didn't ask) that I didn't have one yet, left it at that. She was fine with it. Of course the look on my face told her what the result would be if she WASN'T fine with it.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Ladies:

Thank you for making me feel less weird!!

When we picked the date I was over the moon! Heck, I was ready to run out and try dresses on. While most of my friends were very supportive of the decision and clearly consider us engaged, the few who were narrow minded kinda spoiled the excitement for me. When I started to notice that as soon as people heard I was planning a wedding they immediately looked at my left hand I got too hung up on the whole ring thing myself!

Gypsy - you are absolutely right and thank you so much for reminding me that my attitude impacts how others view the situation. I will very happily return to being super super excited about everything

 

[iwannaprettyone]

99 days to go. I have confession to make. I am miserable about my hair. I am even thinking about postponing the wedding so it will be longer. FI wants me to wear it down, I want to wear it up of half up. MOH thinks it would be best up all the way. But the fact of the matter is, I am sad…I despair. I know it is completely ridiculous, but I cannot get past this.

Oh and MOH, I really liked that one hairstyle and your “maybe for me, not so much for you” comment stung.

 

[luckystar112]

Are extensions out of the question?

 

[iwannaprettyone]

my hair is mega thick.

Besides, it is an addtional expense on an already tight budget.

 

[Gypsy]

Honey your hair looks lovely. Seriously. And it''s healthy and it flatters your face. And it''s not that short. What''s the hairstyle you wanted that MOH shot down? Lets have a look see. People in our real lives sometimes have hidden agendas that interfere with their advice giving.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 6/20/2008 12:48:44 AM
Author: winston26
6/6/08-

The service was beautiful. I did not sob like I had worried. I walked into the organ and trumpet playing and felt like a princess. Very happy with ceremony...until I found out the church person was never around as promised and didn''t turn on the air so we almost lost the groom and 1 groomsman to fainting. FI says ''I was so hot, I couldn''t wait til it was over''. WHAT???? Everyone repeatedly telling me they really really L O V E my dress. Must remember to tell the PS girl who had doubts about her Sophia Tolli dress that people really will love it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now would this be me???

 

[iwannaprettyone]

http://www.projectwedding.com/photo/browse?photo_to_show=10040&tag=makeup%2Bhair&thumbs_page=5

 

[Gypsy]

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/so-like-a-dodo.84210/ IWPO's hair and pic thread.

Hon, you can TOTALLY pull that look off and I love it. But does you hair hold a curl? And are you planning on getting highlights? That woman's hair (It doesn't look like) isn't as thick as yours... and so I think that with that as an inspiration pic, as long as your hair holds a curl and you get some sunkissed natural blended highlights (that look, IMO, needs highlights), you'll be good to go... at least to a trial. I definitely think you should wear in part down though.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

oh yeah, my hair is curly!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

hair has grown slightly...

 

[Gypsy]

Oh PLEASE then. It will look amazing. Ignore your MOH. I think you can totally pull it off, and it''s a great look. I do think some highlights would be nice though.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

You''re right...it just burned me a bit...I''ll start a thread contiunuing in the interest of thread preservation.

 

[Gypsy]

Dear Diary,

Well. I think I made the right decision with switching venues. I''ve been day by day just sloughing off stress. My DOC coordinator was really positive about the switch, and overall I''m pleased.

The wedding seems much closer, and is starting to feel slightly fun again. I''ve been looking into processional music.

Just talked to my mom. She''s considering get yet another doctor''s opinion this time in LA. I don''t know what''s going on with her. She says she''ll talk to me tomorrow. I''m very concerned. She was in pain and sounded depressed.

We''ll see. Our nine year dating anniversary is on Sunday, and I''m fresh out of ideas for anything to do. Oh well. We''d both forgotten about it till we were in Costco on Wednesday and I looked at the calendar.

This will be our last anniversary before the wedding. YAY!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 6/20/2008 8:42:14 PM
Author: Gypsy
Dear Diary,

Well. I think I made the right decision with switching venues. I''ve been day by day just sloughing off stress. My DOC coordinator was really positive about the switch, and overall I''m pleased.

The wedding seems much closer, and is starting to feel slightly fun again. I''ve been looking into processional music.

Just talked to my mom. She''s considering get yet another doctor''s opinion this time in LA. I don''t know what''s going on with her. She says she''ll talk to me tomorrow. I''m very concerned. She was in pain and sounded depressed.

We''ll see. Our nine year dating anniversary is on Sunday, and I''m fresh out of ideas for anything to do. Oh well. We''d both forgotten about it till we were in Costco on Wednesday and I looked at the calendar.

This will be our last anniversary before the wedding. YAY!

So exciting Gypsy! Get some good rest tonight, I will keep your mother in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[winston26]

Date: 6/20/2008 7:21:59 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone

Date: 6/20/2008 12:48:44 AM
Author: winston26
6/6/08-

The service was beautiful. I did not sob like I had worried. I walked into the organ and trumpet playing and felt like a princess. Very happy with ceremony...until I found out the church person was never around as promised and didn''t turn on the air so we almost lost the groom and 1 groomsman to fainting. FI says ''I was so hot, I couldn''t wait til it was over''. WHAT???? Everyone repeatedly telling me they really really L O V E my dress. Must remember to tell the PS girl who had doubts about her Sophia Tolli dress that people really will love it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now would this be me???

Yep!!! I ordered my Sophia Tolli dress because it is a little different yet still classy/elegant. I went through a period of having doubts though, and I think you mentioned that also. My seamstress said it was a very well made dress. I heard "absolutely stunning" all night (and I''m no fashion model) and how they''ve never seen anything like it. My Aunt was late for the ceremony and some strangers were gauking on the sidewalk and said "we saw the bride walk by---you should see her DRESS, just gorgeous!!" .....so I thought of you during those moments and wanted to tell you that even though we don''t have the exact same dress, I think you''ll get the same reaction. It''s not the typical dress, it''s very elegant, and it''s just very flattering on you. I hope you experience the same as I did. Now I''m sad it''s all torn and stained though but that''s a different topic!

(For some reason, I can''t figure out how to upload pics on PS. Mine are way too big. Here I thought I was pretty good at computers!)

 

[iwannaprettyone]

please please email admin to help you...I can''t wait to see!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 6/20/2008 8:45:37 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone


So exciting Gypsy! Get some good rest tonight, I will keep your mother in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you honey.

 

[winston26]

ok, I'm trying to upload a non-pro pic. Doesn't do the dress justice though.....hope this works! (No matter how many times they tell you, it's impossible to remember to hold your flowers lower when it's not natural and you're nervous!)

 

[iwannaprettyone]

OH my! beautiful! I love your dress!!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 6/19/2008 7:31:41 PM
Author: Gypsy

Date: 6/19/2008 7:14:15 AM

Author: SarahLovesJS

Dear GYPSY,


I am so glad you got a venue.

Secondly, breathe deep (but not too deep) and slow. It will work out. ((Hugs))

Thank you Sarah! How are things going with you? I saw you took the LSAT and that you are feeling confident! YAHOOO!!!!


Sumbride... about your mom. That''s so hard. My mother gives me articles on budget weddings one day then is HORRIFIED when I mention that I am considering a buffet to keep costs down the next. It''s not a sane thing, and I totally get your frustration because I remember what you wanted... and know that your momma went overboard on her own. ((HUGS))


Zoe-- it''s going to be amazing. I can''t wait to (hopefully, you will please share them right?) pics with us. I know what you mean about the huge bottom thing. The seamstress pinned up my bustle and I''m like... Um... my arse weighs an additional 50 pounds now. Lovely. The buttons will hold. The straps will too. And it''s going to be just amazing.


Sabine, I''m so glad that things are better today.

Ty Gypsy!!

 

[Gypsy]

Welcome Sarah.

Winston... I LOVE your gown! I love the color too!! So warm and regal!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Deary Diary,

I am completley overwhelmed. Summer school is a beast and I just can''t seem to get in gear at home or at work. I think I might have "bride brain"...

I need to finish my invite wording, but FI thinks the invite I designed looks tacky...I am not sure I care at this point. So much else to think about, sheesh.

Maybe I am just in a grumpy mood as I still don''t feel good and I am back at work.

Good news is that I can go for my first fitting on Friday and also get my Bridesmaids to try on dresses! woooo.

Write more later.

k