WOMEN!! (c''mon gals, fess up....)

[TravelingGal]

So, I have a feeling we are not going to have nearly as many takers on this one, but off the "MEN!!" thread, quite a few women said that THEY are actually the culprits of kookiness.

If your partner were to be writing here, what would he say in frustation about you?

TGuy would say:

For someone who is generally type B, I have NEVER seen a woman more type A about standing in lines. My wife''s blood pressure rises and her eyes dilate about 5 minutes before we head to any lines (especially at Costco). She power walks to the line (because I have told her repeatedly it embarrasses me when she runs) and changes her mind at least 3 times as she jumps from line to line. Then can she sit there and patiently wait? Noooooooooo. Her eyes dart between our line and all the other lines she was considering and you can actually see her getting agitated as the other lines move faster. Then, imperceptibly, the nose of the cart turns toward the shorter line as I KNOW she is thinking of breaking away from our line and making a dash for the faster line.

I cannot tell you how many times I''ve had to put my hand on her shoulder to tell her to chill out.

And she hates, HATES picking up and opening mail. I used to think that she hated picking up the mail because in our old apartment, we had to walk a fair bit to the mailbox. But no...in our new house the mailbox is right outside the door and she''ll let it pile up for a week if no one picks it up. She has stacks and stacks of unopened mail. I have no idea how the bills get paid on time...or do they?

Lastly, she refuses to fill our Brita water tank. She''ll make the effort to tilt the damn thing to pour out the remaining few drops, but for some jacked up reason, she won''t take the refilling bowl (which I conveniently leave on top of the Brita tank) and walk 2 feet to the sink to fill it and pour it into the tank.

She''s nuts, I tell you!

 

[Laila619]

Oh boy. My poor DH would probably vent about my million mood swings--I go from happy to sad to pissed in two minutes flat. He'd say I am a hothead too and fly off the handle at silly things.

The poor guy is usually on the receiving end unfortunately. I am lucky he has the patience of a SAINT.

 

[Puppmom]

Well, it''s only fair...DH would say my annoying habits are:

- She complains about her weight then stuffs her face with ice cream.
- She blows a box fan on us all night and it sounds like an airplane is landing in our bedroom.
- She likes Pepsi from a bottle NEVER Coke but she''ll drink fountain Coke. How am I supposed to keep that straight?
- She snoozes the alarm like TEN times!
- She makes a big deal when people smoke near her even if we''re in a public place.
- If we go on a long car ride, we have to stop so she can pee every 1-2 hours. I lived in a Van travelling cross country with my friends for 6 months and we stopped TWICE A DAY!

Uh-oh - it sounding like I have more annoying habits than DH!

 

[junebug17]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:08:33 PM
Author: puppmom
Well, it''s only fair...DH would say my annoying habits are:


- She complains about her weight then stuffs her face with ice cream.

- She blows a box fan on us all night and it sounds like an airplane is landing in our bedroom.

- She likes Pepsi from a bottle NEVER Coke but she''ll drink fountain Coke. How am I supposed to keep that straight?

- She snoozes the alarm like TEN times!

- She makes a big deal when people smoke near her even if we''re in a public place.

- If we go on a long car ride, we have to stop so she can pee every 1-2 hours. I lived in a Van travelling cross country with my friends for 6 months and we stopped TWICE A DAY!


Uh-oh - it sounding like I have more annoying habits than DH!

Puppmom, your posts always make me smile, you are so funny...

Oh, I know what bugs my dh...when I drive around the parking lot waiting for a spot close to the doors instead of just parking a little further away and walking. Drives him a bit crazy!

 

[Circe]

My husband would probably say that being married to a woman for whom too much is never enough can take a bit of a toll ... seriously, when I like something (diamonds, peacocks, books, etc.), I like it a lot.

We went to the Museo della Argenti in Florence, the section of the Palazzo Pitti where they keep the Medici collections? The Medici''s appear to have been a family under the impression that while one tiny jeweled beer keg/caviar tray made out of a giant shell/bizarre piece of anthropomorphized pearl jewelery is nice, a dozen would be nicer.

Let''s just say that sometimes I feel bad for My Husband the Minimalist for having married a reincarnated Medici, and leave it at that.

 

[qtiekiki]

Haha. I''ll play. DH takes a lot more craps from me than me from him.

- She has a short fuse, and will snap at me for little things. She said it''s because of all the hormonal changes she went through during and after pregnancy, but she had always been like that. And she admits that she is only like this with me.
- She will say no when I ask her if she wants to buy some desserts (ice-cream, cheesecake, etc), but she really mean yes because she''ll say "oh I want (fill in the blank with dessert) now, should''ve bought it earlier" later on that night. So I always just get something to keep in the fridge/freezer now.
- She is always playing games or reading her little forums online after the kids go to bed. Don''t give me any attention.

That''s all I can think of at this moment.

 

[joflier]

That I name everything (vehicles, plants, major appliances) and refer to such items by name and expect him to know what in the heck I'm talking about.

That I freak out if there's so much as a possible scuff or mark on my car.......yet every night when I come home with my hands full, I open the door by kicking it....

My annoying indecision......he'll ask me what I want to do or where do I want to eat, etc. My typical answer is "I don't care, or I don't know." Then he makes a suggestion, and I usually say no a few times before he comes to an option I like. I know it's terribly annoying. But it all makes perfect sense to me. I don't know what I want to do. But I DO know what I DON'T want to do.
And, he'll just continue to stare at me with that blank look.

ETA: I forgot to mention - mindreading. In our relationship, I have a strong expectation of basic mindreading. Which he really sucks at. I just can't figure out why that's unrealistic!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:25:13 PM
Author: qtiekiki
Haha. I''ll play. DH takes a lot more craps from me than me from him.

- She has a short fuse, and will snap at me for little things. She said it''s because of all the hormonal changes she went through during and after pregnancy, but she had always been like that. And she admits that she is only like this with me.
- She will say no when I ask her if she wants to buy some desserts (ice-cream, cheesecake, etc), but she really mean yes because she''ll say ''oh I want (fill in the blank with dessert) now, should''ve bought it earlier'' later on that night. So I always just get something to keep in the fridge/freezer now.
- She is always playing games or reading her little forums online after the kids go to bed. Don''t give me any attention.

That''s all I can think of at this moment.

bahahaha!

TGuy knows I have been on PS for 5+ years now and he still gives me crap about it from time to time. I think he''s really wondering when the phase will pass. I was on a travel forum for 6 or 7 years before I made the switch to PS, so he''s got a looooooooooong wait ahead of him!!!

 

[Laila619]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:25:13 PM
Author: qtiekiki
Haha. I''ll play. DH takes a lot more craps from me than me from him.

- She has a short fuse, and will snap at me for little things. She said it''s because of all the hormonal changes she went through during and after pregnancy, but she had always been like that. And she admits that she is only like this with me.
- She will say no when I ask her if she wants to buy some desserts (ice-cream, cheesecake, etc), but she really mean yes because she''ll say ''oh I want (fill in the blank with dessert) now, should''ve bought it earlier'' later on that night. So I always just get something to keep in the fridge/freezer now.
- She is always playing games or reading her little forums online after the kids go to bed. Don''t give me any attention.

That''s all I can think of at this moment.

Good one! I totally do this too. My DH now knows to just buy it anyway, ''just in case.''

 

[Haven]

Oh, there's so much to share. DH is definitely the responsible adult in the relationship.

Here are some of the things he would say:

- I call my wife the Absent Minded Professor. And it's true. She is CONSTANTLY losing things. These are the lines I most frequently hear when we're about to leave the house: "Have you seen my phone?" "Have you seen my purse?" "Have you seen my keys?" "Have you seen my shoes? The red ones? With the heels? No, not those red heels, the other ones. No, not those, the taller ones. Where are they?"
She acts like I follow her around moving her things behind her back.

- My wife is unable to properly load a dishwasher. I have tried to teach her how to do so, but she still fails to accomplish the task correctly.

- She puts empty pickle jars back in the fridge. And then she gets disappointed when she reaches for the jar the next day and finds it empty. This perplexes me.

- She always runs around the house like a crazy person before she leaves for work, and acts like she's very late. But she's never *really* late. In her mind, if she isn't leaving 20 minutes before she *should* be leaving, she's late.

- She leaves water on the counter tops after she's done cooking a meal. It drives me nuts.

- She squeezes the toothpaste tube from the middle instead of the bottom. I have a pathological need to squeeze the tube from the bottom, which I am quite sure drives her crazy.

- There are long dark brown hairs all over our house. I have to rod out our drains regularly. She sheds like a Newfoundland.

- She constantly takes up all of our laundry baskets. We have five of them. She hates doing laundry, and has enough clothes to go for a long time without doing it. I get very angry when this happens.

- She always lets the dog in the house with wet paws, and then acts surprised when I get upset that she did this.

- She reads a lot, and I'm not supposed to talk to her when she's reading. But if she's always reading, how am I ever supposed to talk to her?

- If I do talk to her while she's doing something and she doesn't want to be interrupted she gives a HUGE LONG SIGH, and it annoys the crap out of me. Then she acts all irritated with me. I ignore this irritation and pretend that because I am a man I do not notice such things. This increases her irritation.

- She brings chocolate into the house and expects me to be able to save part of it for an entire day for her, even though she knows that I have a bizarre compulsion to eat any and all chocolate immediately upon learning that it is available. She gets very mad when I eat her chocolate.

- She talks in annoying secret languages with her sisters, and they think it is the funniest thing in the world. I hate it when they do this. Not because I don't know the languages, but because they sound stupid. They continue to do this around me despite the fact that they know this bothers me.

- She knows I like to wash my hands right before I eat. (Who doesn't?) So if we're out with a lot of people she will wait for me to come back from washing my hands in the restroom, and THEN she always finds a new person to introduce to me after I've washed my hands. She's also usually told someone else there to watch how I will shake hands, and then go right back to the restroom. This is not funny. This is annoying. Yet, she always laughs when it happens.

- No matter what is going on, if she's sees a dog that is within running distance she will interrupt any conversation/activity/etc. to run immediately to that dog and smush it for a while.

- She makes me write thank you notes to everyone. I often protest that this will only make me the subject of ridicule amongst my friends, yet she does not care. I have now sent innumerable little colored cards to guys who spend their time mountain biking and watching mixed martial arts. It is no consolation when she says "You will only look more gracious by comparison, then." I do not want to be gracious. I'm a dude.

- She ruins tennis by asking a million questions about the rules, even though she has watched every single professional match with me for the last six years.

- She comments on the uniforms when we watch professional sports. And then she asks me what I think of them. Uniforms? I barely recognized that they were all wearing the same thing. I don't want to talk about clothing when I'm watching sports.

- Her mom once told me that she is a lunatic. I thought she was just trying to be funny. I often wonder if she was just trying to warn me.

Oh man, I could go on forever. This list made me think of some more things for the Men thread, though!

 

[princesss]

Oh goodness. M would say:

-She''s the pickiest person in the world. When she goes to a bookstore to get a book, she can''t just pick the first one she sees. She has to investigate the cover, make sure she picks the best cover art (if there is more than one option), make sure the cover isn''t bent, make sure no pages are folded down, and God help you if it''s got a dust jacket! She''ll sit there for hours making sure she gets one that looks pristine. And that''s just books - she''s equally picky about shoes, lumber, paint, tools, and purses.

-She''s incapable of unloading the dishwasher, and she''s barely adequate at loading it.

-She has either has no restraint or tons, but there is no middle ground. She can go weeks without sweets, or she''ll eat a whole tub of Ben and Jerry''s. Just having a scoop isn''t an option in her world. We can''t keep sweets in the house (or if we do, I have to hide them from her!) because she''ll mindlessly munch away until she leaves me with 2 mini Reese''s cups from the bag I bought for myself!

-She''s really good at discovering the dog peed in the house on her way out the door, and then suddenly it''s "Gotta go, honey, I''m running late! Love you!" even though she was barely meandering to the car moments before.

 

[Puppmom]

TGal, you seriously started the two best threads PS has ever seen! They''re comedy and therapy all rolled in one!

 

[qtiekiki]

bahahaha Tgal. My response to him re: forums is "you read forums on stocks and electronics/techie stuffs", the he rebuttal with "but I don''t post on them."

Doesn''t make a difference to me.

Laila - Well at least they know what to do now. haha.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:41:18 PM
Author: Haven
- She puts empty pickle jars back in the fridge. And then she gets disappointed when she reaches for the jar and finds it empty.

This is too funny. And strangely disturbing.

 

[TravelingGal]

"My wife tears open packages like a savage. Seriously, would finding a pair of scissors and doing it neatly kill you? We can never return anything if TGal opens the package, because there is no package left to return something in. And you should see her with ketchup or mustard packets. I don''t understand why it''s so hard to tear open one little corner and neat squeeze it out. But no, she rips it right down the center and squeezes it in the middle. More ketchup oozes out and sticks to the side of the package than on the plate! And she''ll actually use the packet to spread ketchup over something. Then she puts the used, battle-weary packet back into the bag where my other hamburger is still residing, where I rediscover it when I get ketchup all over my freakin'' hands after trying to get my second burger out of the bag."

 

[Puppmom]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:41:18 PM
Author: Haven
- Her mom once told me that she is a lunatic. I thought she was just trying to be funny. I often wonder if she was just trying to warn me.

My mom hasn''t told DH I''m a lunatic, but my brother constantly reminds DH of the "mental illness" (in quotes because it really means the women in my family are really demanding and annoying) that runs in my family. Everytime my mother acts crazy, DH and my brother make this really obvious contact. I see fear in DH''s eyes.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:54:52 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/13/2010 12:41:18 PM
Author: Haven
- She puts empty pickle jars back in the fridge. And then she gets disappointed when she reaches for the jar and finds it empty.

This is too funny. And strangely disturbing.

Old habits die hard, what can I say?
I started doing it as a child because I saw how incredibly annoyed my mother became upon finding an empty pickle jar in the fridge. After that, I just couldn''t help myself.

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/13/2010 1:00:01 PM
Author: TravelingGal
''My wife tears open packages like a savage. Seriously, would finding a pair of scissors and doing it neatly kill you? We can never return anything if TGal opens the package, because there is no package left to return something in. And you should see her with ketchup or mustard packets. I don''t understand why it''s so hard to tear open one little corner and neat squeeze it out. But no, she rips it right down the center and squeezes it in the middle. More ketchup oozes out and sticks to the side of the package than on the plate! And she''ll actually use the packet to spread ketchup over something. Then she puts the used, battle-weary packet back into the bag where my other hamburger is still residing, where I rediscover it when I get ketchup all over my freakin'' hands after trying to get my second burger out of the bag.''

Best. mental. images. EVER.

 

[geckodani]

Off the top of my head....

She leaves the caps off of EVERYTHING.

She does laundry, but then leaves it in the basket and it becomes a wrinkled mess. Is it really that difficult to just hang it when it''s done?

She uses all the hot water in the morning, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I need to shower too.

She leaves her phone all over the house and then asks me to find it.

I''m sure there are 8 million more. Perhaps I''ll have Mr.Gecko chime in later.

 

[fieryred33143]

-She doesn''t cook ever. Seriously, how hard is it to make mac-n-cheese? And God Forbid I throw away the box with instructions. It''s much easier to just do it myself since I''m better at it. She agrees and never argues when I finally take over.

-She leaves the tops to soda half undone.

-I''ve become somewhat of an expert at reading her mind. No means yes when it benefits her (would you like some dessert, Fiery? No, Mr. Fiery. Ok well I''m going to get you some anyway). Yes means no when it doesn''t benefit her (is it ok if I go to a friend''s house on Friday after you had a stressful day of meetings, Fiery? Yes, Mr. Fiery. You know what Fiery, I think I''m just going to stay home.) And Maybe is up in the air for interpretation. I''m averaging about 58% in being correct (see random percentages thrown around in the Men post)

-She keeps hiding my PS3 remote. She thinks I''m not on to her game. Little does she know, I hide a backup remote somewhere and I know she has been trying to find it.

-She likes to read all of my books but claim she doesn''t. I''m not the one folding the corners into little triangles and highlighting stuff. Don''t do that, it''s rude.

-She parks really far so that no one will scratch her car doors but then she beats up my car.

-She gets on my case about how we absolutely have to leave to Orlando as early as possible and I can''t stay up the night before because I need to feel refreshed but then goes to get her nails done, buys a couple of outfits, takes a nap, wants to go out to eat and we end up leaving late in the afternoon.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 5/13/2010 1:17:07 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 5/13/2010 1:00:01 PM
Author: TravelingGal
''My wife tears open packages like a savage. Seriously, would finding a pair of scissors and doing it neatly kill you? We can never return anything if TGal opens the package, because there is no package left to return something in. And you should see her with ketchup or mustard packets. I don''t understand why it''s so hard to tear open one little corner and neat squeeze it out. But no, she rips it right down the center and squeezes it in the middle. More ketchup oozes out and sticks to the side of the package than on the plate! And she''ll actually use the packet to spread ketchup over something. Then she puts the used, battle-weary packet back into the bag where my other hamburger is still residing, where I rediscover it when I get ketchup all over my freakin'' hands after trying to get my second burger out of the bag.''

Best. mental. images. EVER.

AGREED. Too funny!

 

[Haven]

I love these threads.

More:

- She leaves all the cabinet doors open while she''s cooking. And then I walk right into them. How am I supposed to see wide open cabinet doors? What, do I have extra special vision that allows me to see solid blocks of wood that are directly in front me?

 

[doodle]

"My wife is seriously a mental person. She''s deaf in one ear, so I can tell her she''s so awesome, and she''s mad at me for an hour because she thinks I told her she smells awful. Don''t even get me started on the chaos that ensued after I told her she''s so good to me, but she heard, ''You''re a softball, Tony.'' She also has no clue what the lyrics are to 99% of what she listens to, but that won''t stop her from singing along anyway, and she has a special gift for concocting some really loopy lyrics. She''s also convinced that the cat prefers her version, so feeding the cat involves singing ''Bentleeeeeeey, I''m feedin'' your fluffy butt'' to the tune of Michael Jackson''s ''Don''t Stop Til You Get Enough.'' She does this often enough that the cat actually recognizes the tune at this point. For the most part, she''s completely unpredictable, but if there''s one thing I CAN predict, it''s that her shoes will be removed in the middle of a walkway when I''m right behind her. This is to ensure that I fall on my face...and when I do, she will laugh at me because she thinks people falling is the funniest thing in the world. If I''m paying attention to something else and she''s bored, she''ll do chicken impersonations to get my attention. It doesn''t matter if we''re at a black tie function with the President--my inattention will result in arm flapping and ''BERKAAAW!'' She flips out if I leave hair on the bathroom counter after shaving, but doesn''t even remotely consider how often I''ve been sitting at the office and pulled one of her 3 foot long hairs off of myself! Oh, and why does she need eleven glasses of water on the night stand every night? What is she, a friggin'' camel?! See, what''d I tell ya? MENTAL PERSON."

 

[doodle]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:28:13 PM
Author: joflier
That I name everything (vehicles, plants, major appliances) and refer to such items by name and expect him to know what in the heck I''m talking about.

My annoying indecision......he''ll ask me what I want to do or where do I want to eat, etc. My typical answer is ''I don''t care, or I don''t know.'' Then he makes a suggestion, and I usually say no a few times before he comes to an option I like. I know it''s terribly annoying. But it all makes perfect sense to me. I don''t know what I want to do. But I DO know what I DON''T want to do.

This is also me! Oh, and I''m bad about speaking in song lyrics or movie quotes, which is made even worse by the fact that half the time, I''ve misheard the quote, so I''m in my own little world.

 

[lili]

Date: 5/13/2010 12:25:13 PM
Author: qtiekiki
Haha. I''ll play. DH takes a lot more craps from me than me from him.


- She has a short fuse, and will snap at me for little things. She said it''s because of all the hormonal changes she went through during and after pregnancy, but she had always been like that. And she admits that she is only like this with me.

- She will say no when I ask her if she wants to buy some desserts (ice-cream, cheesecake, etc), but she really mean yes because she''ll say ''oh I want (fill in the blank with dessert) now, should''ve bought it earlier'' later on that night. So I always just get something to keep in the fridge/freezer now.

- She is always playing games or reading her little forums online after the kids go to bed. Don''t give me any attention.


That''s all I can think of at this moment.

Haha....that''s what my hubby would say too.
And on top of that list are:

- she''s always redo-ing my laundry and making the sheets
- she''s always sticking her cold feet on my legs
- what''s this with the "is it?"

 

[iheartscience]

I'll play! Mr. Thing would say:

1. Thing has what I call Hysterical Blindness. She'll be packing for a trip last minute or be going to work or school and will call me frantically looking for her shoes/book/etc. They are always in a very obvious place in plain sight. The Hysterical Blindness prevents her from seeing them, though.

2. She is unable to do any major cleaning. Vacuuming and Windexing is as far as it goes. She doesn't wash pots and pans by hand (she tries to put them in the dishwasher!), she doesn't clean the toilet, sink, shower/tub OR mop. Apparently she never learned how and has no interest in learning.

3. Thing is unable to put Cokes in the fridge herself. Instead she'll leave the 12 pack on the counter and then when she wants a cold one, she'll stick it in the freezer and wait for it to get cold. It works great until she forgets she put it in there, and then it explodes ALL OVER the freezer. And then because of # 2, she is unable to clean it up herself.

4. She always wants me to drive her places in her car but then harasses me for not going fast enough, not passing slow people and not slamming on the brakes in the middle of the street to park in a parallel parking spot. If she wants me to drive, why does she harass me when I do?! She should just drive us herself!

 

[Callisto]

Oh I bet he could go to town complaining about the dumb things I do if given the proper outlet. Some threads would be along the lines of:

-She always leaves cabinets and drawers open. I''ll walk into the kitchen after she''ll have been looking for something and EVERY cabinet is open. It''s like that scene from the Sixth Sense!

-Are women impossible of saying they''re sorry? Do they not realize that "I''m sorry you''re upset" is just a way of saying the word sorry without actually apologizing for anything...

-She always tries to TALK to me in the morning. Why can''t she just let me get ready in peace? I just woke up, I don''t want to decide what all our plans are for the evening right this moment!

-Why does my SO ask me my opinion on things when she''s just going to choose whatever I don''t advise? Seems like a waste of time for both of us.


Oh man I bet I could come up with quite a few others but this will have to do for now.

 

[Callisto]

Date: 5/13/2010 1:49:19 PM
Author: lili


- she''s always sticking her cold feet on my legs

Oh yeah my SO would definitely contribute to that thread...

 

[Callisto]

Date: 5/13/2010 1:51:58 PM
Author: thing2of2

3. Thing is unable to put Cokes in the fridge herself. Instead she''ll leave the 12 pack on the counter and then when she wants a cold one, she''ll stick it in the freezer and wait for it to get cold. It works great until she forgets she put it in there, and then it explodes ALL OVER the freezer. And then because of # 2, she is unable to clean it up herself.

Hahaha that would drive me NUTS!

 

[lizzyann]

Ha Ha! I love these threads. A lot of mine are similar to a lot of yours but here it goes....my hubby would say...

"she is so obsessive compulsive that if I don''t check to make sure she turned off the iron, her flat-iron, and locked all doors in the house she will make us turn around and go back home. And she is obsessed with the garage door closing. She will be driving up the driveway and staring at the garage door coming down at the same time. I try to explain to her that she is going to kill someone one of these days. But if she forgets to look back at the door closing, she will again turn around and go back home to check"

"she always yells at ME for using the last of the toilet paper in the bathroom without bringing in another roll, but I''m not the one who uses the last of the toilet paper, it is her! But yet she still yells at me!

"she always clogs up the bathroom (especially when she was prego) and tries to tell me that she tried using the plunger to fix it, but I don''t believe her. I know she just left it for me to take care of."

"she is always late, I mean always. I hate that. I hate rushing and being stressed, but she always underestimates how long it takes her to get ready"

"when our son is napping or sleeping, she is on her laptop on her ''forum'', causing her to want more jewelry. And when I try to talk to her she just gives generic answers like "ya", "alright", "sure". I sometimes ask her wacky questions to see if she is paying attention to me and she is clueless."

"her hair is all over the bathroom (worse right after the pregnancy) and for some reason ends up stuck to the shower wall. I have asked her about this and she says that it is because when she washes her hair, it gets stuck to her fingers, so the only way to get it off is to stick it to the wall. I refuse to clean this and make her do it!"