jcarlylew
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2008
- Messages
- 3,899
Not to scare you, but in extremes... in that "gang" mentality, it can happen... even in the middle of Central Park in broad daylight. Crazy.Date: 8/13/2008 3:21:54 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
OMG!!!Date: 8/13/2008 2:50:02 PM
Author: Bliss
You wouldn''t like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.
I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that''s it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it''s disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, ''HEY! That''s SOMEONE''S WIFE-TO-BE YOU''RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!'' I can''t imagine how I''d feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.
This is what escalates (in extreme cases) to those women being attacked & groped by groups of men in Central Park several years ago.
Bliss, I hadn''t heard about this! Please tell me they caught the guys who were doing it and locked them up???
OMG! CRAZY! Clearly the poor man was mentally ill. No one has an "ugly smile" and I am sure yours is beautiful hence the attention. But what a thing to say!Date: 8/13/2008 5:30:20 PM
Author: jcarlylew
OMG i totally agree! I worked at a children's boutique in DT seattle, where every once in awhile i would get a (male) customer who honestly was not well off in more than one ways (ie, one buck short of being homeless). One day he told me to smile (i was in a b*tch mood) and when i did he said 'you have an ugly smile'
WTF????????
woah. forgot about that story. but yeah, telling someone to smile is condensending to me. i mean, make me laugh and i will. be a dick about it, i wont.
I also went to a school where each day i had no choice but to walk by day workers. it sucked, honestly, becuase i was always in nicer clothes than most at the school (i went for fashion business/marketing)
Date: 8/13/2008 4:15:37 PM
Author: Linda W
You know what? This would really scare me to flip someone off, especially in this day and age.
Our neighbor was cut of by a person on the free way 2 weeks ago. He flipped the person off. This man pulled a gun out and chased our friend on the free way trying to shoot him. Luckily our friend lost him.
I would be so afraid to flip anyone off now a days. Just my 2 cents worth. BTW, our friends wife chewed him out for flipping him off in the first place.
Linda
Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM
Author: somethingshiny
If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.
If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.
Date: 8/13/2008 4:54:16 PM
Author: Starset Princess
Jerry Seinfeld:
WHAT WOMEN WANT:
I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don’t get it, OK? I, I, I admit, I, I’m not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they’re so subtle, their little.. everything they do is subtle.. men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that’s it! It’s the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don’t know ’bout that, we don’t know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we’ve had so far.. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas. The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don’t we. Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Where ever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That’s why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: “Where to meet men?”. We’re here, we are everywhere. We’re honking our horns to serve you better.
LOL. I agree! But that incident was in Columbus Circle, Central Park South is very very populated and that is actually one of the nicest parts of the park and of Manhattan. That's where Trump plaza is and the luxury condos. I live in that area. But yes, there are definitely parts of Central Park that are very remote. Very scary at night.Date: 8/13/2008 6:10:50 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Certain parts of Central Park are known for being unsafe. For men or women. Not exactly the norm for a good example of your average guy yelling hey baby or whistling. That's like saying I walked through East LA and a bunch of guys in bandanas scared me
I suppose we all have different ideas of what we find worrying or scary. I don't worry about flipping anyone off. I don't plan to live forever. In the mean time I'll die on my feet doing what the heck I want before I live on my knees in fear. That's just me. I do NOT buckle under to anyone. EVER.
If I become a statistic, ya'll can say 'I told ya so' at the memorial
I really don''t think that scenario belongs in a completely different thread. This thread is about random individual guys and/or random groups of guys who whistle/yell. The whistling/yelling is annoying and alarming in part BECAUSE we don''t know how much further it''s going to go, or what they''re going to do next. I''m sure every situation with the gang of 40 guys in Central Park started with them whistling/yelling at a woman before they approached her and started groping. As I said before, MOST whistlers/yellers are harmless and are just being stupid. But how do we tell the harmless ones from the not-so-harmless ones?Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn''t make myself clear. I''m aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
Date: 8/13/2008 9:40:27 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
I really don''t think that scenario belongs in a completely different thread. This thread is about random individual guys and/or random groups of guys who whistle/yell. The whistling/yelling is annoying and alarming in part BECAUSE we don''t know how much further it''s going to go, or what they''re going to do next. I''m sure every situation with the gang of 40 guys in Central Park started with them whistling/yelling at a woman before they approached her and started groping. As I said before, MOST whistlers/yellers are harmless and are just being stupid. But how do we tell the harmless ones from the not-so-harmless ones?Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn''t make myself clear. I''m aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
My thoughts EXACTLY, Elle! You never know what they''re going to do, but you DO know that they''re trying to get a reaction out of you. I just REFUSE to give them that reaction that they''re so desperately looking for!Date: 8/13/2008 9:43:22 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Date: 8/13/2008 9:40:27 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
I really don''t think that scenario belongs in a completely different thread. This thread is about random individual guys and/or random groups of guys who whistle/yell. The whistling/yelling is annoying and alarming in part BECAUSE we don''t know how much further it''s going to go, or what they''re going to do next. I''m sure every situation with the gang of 40 guys in Central Park started with them whistling/yelling at a woman before they approached her and started groping. As I said before, MOST whistlers/yellers are harmless and are just being stupid. But how do we tell the harmless ones from the not-so-harmless ones?Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn''t make myself clear. I''m aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
You really can''t tell, and that''s why I do not make eye contact, and remove myself from the situation. I think thats the best way to go, they don''t get a reaction, and you''re removing yourself from a situation. I''d never react just to make a point about being tough. My life is worth more than feeling like I ''got someone back''.
I''ve got to go with Irishgrrl on this one. Obviously the end outcomes of the two situations in question are different, with one outcome much more extreme, but the more extreme incident didn''t just pop up out of nowhere; it began as the same "typical" [ugh] situation of catcalling and yelling and whistling, I''m sure, and ESCALATED to the situation in which a group assault was perpetrated.Date: 8/13/2008 9:40:27 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
I really don''t think that scenario belongs in a completely different thread. This thread is about random individual guys and/or random groups of guys who whistle/yell. The whistling/yelling is annoying and alarming in part BECAUSE we don''t know how much further it''s going to go, or what they''re going to do next. I''m sure every situation with the gang of 40 guys in Central Park started with them whistling/yelling at a woman before they approached her and started groping. As I said before, MOST whistlers/yellers are harmless and are just being stupid. But how do we tell the harmless ones from the not-so-harmless ones?Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn''t make myself clear. I''m aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
^^^ What she said.Date: 8/13/2008 9:47:56 PM
Author: WishfulThinking
I''ve got to go with Irishgrrl on this one. Obviously the end outcomes of the two situations in question are different, with one outcome much more extreme, but the more extreme incident didn''t just pop up out of nowhere; it began as the same ''typical'' [ugh] situation of catcalling and yelling and whistling, I''m sure, and ESCALATED to the situation in which a group assault was perpetrated.Date: 8/13/2008 9:40:27 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
I really don''t think that scenario belongs in a completely different thread. This thread is about random individual guys and/or random groups of guys who whistle/yell. The whistling/yelling is annoying and alarming in part BECAUSE we don''t know how much further it''s going to go, or what they''re going to do next. I''m sure every situation with the gang of 40 guys in Central Park started with them whistling/yelling at a woman before they approached her and started groping. As I said before, MOST whistlers/yellers are harmless and are just being stupid. But how do we tell the harmless ones from the not-so-harmless ones?Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn''t make myself clear. I''m aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
The two can''t be separated because they''re two points on what is essentially a spectrum of [street/public] harassment that occurs every single day in virtually every country in the world, and is statistically speaking overwhelmingly perpetrated by men. It''s a systemic problem that is upheld by a very specific paradigm of thought involving women''s bodies in the public sphere; specifically, the idea that women''s bodies are public property and therefore available for open commentary or physical interaction by people who encounter them. The same underlying system makes possible both catcalls/whistles and physical/sexual assault.
Date: 8/13/2008 9:34:52 PM
Author: purrfectpear
Sorry I didn't make myself clear. I'm aware of the Central Park incident and that it was a large group of men. My point was exactly what you said, it was NOT indicative of a typical couple of guys whistling situation, it was basically a gang grope. So yes, that would be an entirely different type of encounter and not part of the discussion of random guys that whistle and yell. In other words, a completely different thread.
The thing is, I am confused as to why the media and others perceive it to be an unusual occurrence. Perhaps it was unusual for the circumstances [area it happened in, time of day, during a major public event], but the reality is that these things happen every day; group assaults, both on another group or on an individual, are not uncommon or extreme. Many of them are downplayed in the media, and hardly any of them get the coverage that the Central Park incident did. The vast majority of them go unreported. The vast majority of them also occur in low-income neighborhoods and quite often the victims are people of color. The vast majority of them involve alcohol consumed by the perpetratorDate: 8/13/2008 10:23:06 PM
Author: Bliss
Actually, it started as whistling and catcalling and escalated quickly. I'm also fairly certain alcohol played a part. But it was stated as an example of an extreme case, and it is such. This year's parade was HEAVILY patrolled and monitored.
But I will agree with you in that most cases will not escalate to such horrific acts. Still, 'sexual assaults' happen every single day in every city. You can get arrested for patting someone's butt, even. Just ask Christian Slater. He learned that the hard way.
I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but imagine if this happened to your mom. This happened to my mom when I was a little girl. Some random guy catcalled and then grabbed her butt in a supermarket parking lot when I was with her. It was awful and I am mad about it to this day. I remember seeing it and feeling totally violated on her behalf. *Most* catcalling can be harmless but it's the intention and also the entitlement that can lead to other things. Ya know?
Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM
Author: somethingshiny
If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.
If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.
How awful for you. I''m so sorry you had to go through that.Date: 8/14/2008 12:35:18 AM
Author: miraclesrule
When I was 17 or so, I went to see Gary Wright, Peter Frampton and Yes. (Wow, I''m old)
Anyway, I was with a girlfriend, my daughter''s father and his friend. I don''t remember where the guys were, but some drunk guy walked by me and grabbed my arse and smacked it...hard. I yelled at him something to the effect of flipping him off, only verbally. He stopped in his tracks, turned around and headed straight for me yelling '' F me?, F me?...well F You'' and punched me in the face.
I was dazed and confused. I didn''t even think to hit back. I went and found my BF and his friend and we they tried to find the guy and we found him wandering outside the park getting into trouble with some other people. Me and girlfriend tried to get the guys to go take care of him and the guys said...''Nah, looky there, someone else is about to take care of him for us...lets get back in time for the light show''.
I had two other instances in my life when I was physically accosted. One was by a 10 or 12 year old at a Charger Game. I hunted that kid down and he was with his grandfather who spanked his butt right in front of me...then I felt kind of sad for him. But he grabbed my chest and twisted it!!
I''ll take a whistle anyday.