Vent/Rant/Question for the Ladies

[Irishgrrrl]

Ladies, how do you deal with guys who whistle at you? This happens to me sometimes, and I think it''s really creepy. (In fact, it just happened a few minutes ago when I left work to go to lunch.)

I try to just ignore it and pretend I didn''t hear or didn''t realize it was directed at me, but sometimes they just whistle again only louder. I mean really, what do they expect us to do? Has ANYONE, EVER, in the history of the world, actually picked a woman up this way? It''s even more disgusting when they are obviously close enough to see that I have a wedding ring on, and they do it anyway! What, they expect that I''m going to leave my husband who I love dearly for some skanky guy who whistles at me on the street??? WTF?!?!

I just think it''s very disrespectful to the woman being whistled at (and to her husband and her marriage, assuming she is married), and it just makes the whistler look like an idiot.

What''s really freaky is when there''s a whole group of guys and they''re all whistling/making comments to a woman who is alone. That REALLY creeps me out! I''ve had that happen a couple times before, and it really scared me. I wanted so badly to just run for my car, but I refuse to give them the satisfaction . . . I just continue walking with a completely neutral expression on my face and completely ignore them, while I''m silently freaking out inside.

If any guys are reading this, can you tell us WHY this happens and what we should do when it does???

Sorry, just something that really irritates me!

 

[Lauren8211]

Umm.. I get away as soon as possible to avoid any sort of interaction whatsoever. If someone is objectifying me while I''m alone, I get panicky. I don''t make eye contact, and I get away.

I know men don''t mean it to be disrespectful (most of the time, anyway), but it seriously sends me into a panic.

To be honest, I think it attracts women with low self-esteem. Not ALL women with low self-esteem (I''ve struggled with it for years), however sometimes getting noticed by someone, anyone, will make a woman feel more attractive and give that guy a chance. I''ve seen it happen!

I think it''s the "Hail Mary" play of picking up women.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:42:43 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Umm.. I get away as soon as possible to avoid any sort of interaction whatsoever. If someone is objectifying me while I''m alone, I get panicky. I don''t make eye contact, and I get away.

I know men don''t mean it to be disrespectful (most of the time, anyway), but it seriously sends me into a panic.

To be honest, I think it attracts women with low self-esteem. Not ALL women with low self-esteem (I''ve struggled with it for years), however sometimes getting noticed by someone, anyone, will make a woman feel more attractive and give that guy a chance. I''ve seen it happen!

I think it''s the ''Hail Mary'' play of picking up women.

Elle, this is exactly what I do too. I just try to get away as quickly as possible. I feel sorry for the women who this actually works on. Personally, no matter how low my self-esteem is (and it''s pretty low sometimes), I would never want to be with someone who acts like that!

 

[LAJennifer]

I just ignore it. By the way, I don''t think men look at rings on the hand the same way women do. Last year, on a girl''s trip to Vegas, there was a guy who would not leave me alone - so I started flashing my e-ring and w-ring. The guy actually complemented me on what a nice ring it was - totally clueless!!!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:47:39 PM
Author: LAJennifer
I just ignore it. By the way, I don''t think men look at rings on the hand the same way women do. Last year, on a girl''s trip to Vegas, there was a guy who would not leave me alone - so I started flashing my e-ring and w-ring. The guy actually complemented me on what a nice ring it was - totally clueless!!!

Ugh! What a jerk!

Are guys really that oblivious? I mean, if he noticed your rings enough to compliment you on them, I''m sure he realized that they were a sign of . . . hello . . . MARRIAGE?!?! He probably just didn''t care, and was hoping he had a shot anyway. UGH!!! Again, what a JERK!!!

 

[Bliss]

You wouldn't like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.

I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that's it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it's disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, "HEY! That's SOMEONE'S WIFE-TO-BE YOU'RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!" I can't imagine how I'd feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.

This is what escalates (in extreme cases) to those women being attacked & groped by groups of men in Central Park several years ago.

 

[fleur-de-lis]

Huh. I always figured that when I''m old, grey, and can hide small children under my saggy octogenarian breasts, that I''ll look back fondly at the wolf whistles and calls out of passing cars to the effect of, "Hey Beautiful!", I received in my youth and smile.

f-d-l

 

[somethingshiny]

If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.

If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:50:02 PM
Author: Bliss
You wouldn''t like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.

I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that''s it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it''s disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, ''HEY! That''s SOMEONE''S WIFE-TO-BE YOU''RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!'' I can''t imagine how I''d feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.

Oh, Bliss, you are SO right! I really don''t think I could live in NYC! I''d love to visit sometime, but I''d make sure DH was like ATTACHED to my arm the whole time!

I have a policy of totally ignoring guys who do this. I don''t give them ANY look at all, not even a dirty one. I just refuse to acknowledge that they even exist. And I know how you feel . . . if I had a baby with me when this happens, it would be ten thousand times worse!!!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:51:43 PM
Author: fleur-de-lis
Huh. I always figured that when I''m old, grey, and can hide small children under my saggy octogenarian breasts, that I''ll look back fondly at the wolf whistles and calls out of passing cars to the effect of, ''Hey Beautiful!'', I received in my youth and smile.

f-d-l

Fleur~

When you get to that point, YOU should whistle at THEM!!! Paybacks! HA!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM
Author: somethingshiny
If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.

If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.

LOL! Shiny, I like your style!

 

[geckodani]

I''m odd. As long as I''m in a safe location, I enjoy it, LOL. Now, if I was alone on a street at night and there were a bunch of guys heckling me - that would be different.

But, whistled at from a car or across the street or whatever - I just take it as a compliment/confidence boost and move on. The cart guy from a store was hitting on me the other day, and I just laughed, told him I was married, said thanks anyway, got into my car and left. *shrug*

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:53:35 PM
Author: geckodani
I''m odd. As long as I''m in a safe location, I enjoy it, LOL. Now, if I was alone on a street at night and there were a bunch of guys heckling me - that would be different.

But, whistled at from a car or across the street or whatever - I just take it as a compliment/confidence boost and move on. The cart guy from a store was hitting on me the other day, and I just laughed, told him I was married, said thanks anyway, got into my car and left. *shrug*

Dani, I''m glad you can see the flattery in it. I know it''s probaby meant that way (by most of the guys, anyway), but I can''t help being a little creeped out . . . or maybe even A LOT creeped out, depending on the guy(s) doing it.

 

[somethingshiny]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:53:34 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM

Author: somethingshiny

If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.


If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.

LOL! Shiny, I like your style!

yeah, but it''s actually happened!! I was at a tavern with DH, our friends, and even my dad was there! This guy full-on GRABBED! I swung, he went down, every one had to keep my DH and dad off the guy while he was being escorted out. I got free drinks the rest of the evening.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:55:32 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:53:35 PM
Author: geckodani
I''m odd. As long as I''m in a safe location, I enjoy it, LOL. Now, if I was alone on a street at night and there were a bunch of guys heckling me - that would be different.

But, whistled at from a car or across the street or whatever - I just take it as a compliment/confidence boost and move on. The cart guy from a store was hitting on me the other day, and I just laughed, told him I was married, said thanks anyway, got into my car and left. *shrug*

Dani, I''m glad you can see the flattery in it. I know it''s probaby meant that way (by most of the guys, anyway), but I can''t help being a little creeped out . . . or maybe even A LOT creeped out, depending on the guy(s) doing it.

Oh, absolutely. It totally depends on the situation.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:56:37 PM
Author: somethingshiny

Date: 8/13/2008 2:53:34 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM

Author: somethingshiny

If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.


If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.

LOL! Shiny, I like your style!

yeah, but it''s actually happened!! I was at a tavern with DH, our friends, and even my dad was there! This guy full-on GRABBED! I swung, he went down, every one had to keep my DH and dad off the guy while he was being escorted out. I got free drinks the rest of the evening.

YOU GO GIRL!!!

I''m so taking you with me the next time I go out! LOL!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:56:37 PM
Author: somethingshiny

Date: 8/13/2008 2:53:34 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM

Author: somethingshiny

If i get whistled at, I ignore it. If I get hit-on, I politely decline.


If I get my a$$ grabbed, I swing.

LOL! Shiny, I like your style!

yeah, but it''s actually happened!! I was at a tavern with DH, our friends, and even my dad was there! This guy full-on GRABBED! I swung, he went down, every one had to keep my DH and dad off the guy while he was being escorted out. I got free drinks the rest of the evening.

OMG that''s AWESOME!

I poured a drink in a guy''s lap once. No fist fights though.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:50:02 PM
Author: Bliss
You wouldn't like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.

I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that's it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it's disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, 'HEY! That's SOMEONE'S WIFE-TO-BE YOU'RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!' I can't imagine how I'd feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.

Oh, Bliss, you are SO right! I really don't think I could live in NYC! I'd love to visit sometime, but I'd make sure DH was like ATTACHED to my arm the whole time!

I have a policy of totally ignoring guys who do this. I don't give them ANY look at all, not even a dirty one. I just refuse to acknowledge that they even exist. And I know how you feel . . . if I had a baby with me when this happens, it would be ten thousand times worse!!!

Hahahaha! Yes, you'd be mobbed in NYC.

Fleur-de-lis, GREAT IDEA! When I am old with silver hair...and I, too, can hide small children under my saggy octogenarian breasts...which I will tuck into my socks, I will not just smile... I'll be WHISTLING at those young men and showing them how it feels!!!! I'll cackle loudly, pinch their butts and smack my gums at them while wiggling my eyebrows! I'll swing my octogenarian boob at them and smack them in the head with it when they pull that dumb behavior! That should teach them how it feels! LOL. I'll also weild a cane and spank them if they disrespect young ladies! I'll get a straw and blow Geritol at the ones working in tall buildings. Put my dentures on a long string and swing it over my head like David fighting Goliath...let it fly! I'll be Sup-A Granny!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:59:28 PM
Author: Bliss

Date: 8/13/2008 2:52:17 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 2:50:02 PM
Author: Bliss
You wouldn''t like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.

I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that''s it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it''s disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, ''HEY! That''s SOMEONE''S WIFE-TO-BE YOU''RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!'' I can''t imagine how I''d feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.

Oh, Bliss, you are SO right! I really don''t think I could live in NYC! I''d love to visit sometime, but I''d make sure DH was like ATTACHED to my arm the whole time!

I have a policy of totally ignoring guys who do this. I don''t give them ANY look at all, not even a dirty one. I just refuse to acknowledge that they even exist. And I know how you feel . . . if I had a baby with me when this happens, it would be ten thousand times worse!!!

Hahahaha! Yes, you''d be mobbed in NYC.

Fleur-de-lis, GREAT IDEA! When I am old with silver hair...and I, too, can hide small children under my saggy octogenarian breasts...which I will tuck into my socks, I will not just smile... I''ll be WHISTLING at those young men and showing them how it feels!!!! I''ll cackle loudly, pinch their butts and smack my gums at them while wiggling my eyebrows! I''ll swing my octogenarian boob at them and smack them in the head with it when they pull that dumb behavior! That should teach them how it feels! LOL. I''ll also weild a cane and spank them if they disrespect young ladies! I''ll get a straw and blow Geritol at the ones working in tall buildings.

LOLOLOL!!!!! Bliss, I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Hee hee hee!!!

 

[geckodani]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:59:28 PM
Author: Bliss

Hahahaha! Yes, you''d be mobbed in NYC.

Fleur-de-lis, GREAT IDEA! When I am old with silver hair...and I, too, can hide small children under my saggy octogenarian breasts...which I will tuck into my socks, I will not just smile... I''ll be WHISTLING at those young men and showing them how it feels!!!! I''ll cackle loudly, pinch their butts and smack my gums at them while wiggling my eyebrows! I''ll swing my octogenarian boob at them and smack them in the head with it when they pull that dumb behavior! That should teach them how it feels! LOL. I''ll also weild a cane and spank them if they disrespect young ladies! I''ll get a straw and blow Geritol at the ones working in tall buildings. Put my dentures on a long string and swing it over my head like David fighting Goliath...let it fly! I''ll be Sup-A Granny!

LMFAO!!!

 

[Bliss]

Irishgrrrl, geckodani...You can be my fellow cronies! Sassy grannies travel in packs, ya know! You can be the bait that they whistle at - just smile and walk down the street...and then us Sup-A Grannies will swoop in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Bliss
Irishgrrrl, geckodani...You can be my fellow cronies! Sassy grannies travel in packs, ya know! You can be the bait that they whistle at - just smile and walk down the street...and then us Sup-A Grannies will swoop in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!! Bliss, we''re gonna be on the front of a joke birthday card someday!!!

 

[Bliss]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:06:42 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Bliss
Irishgrrrl, geckodani...You can be my fellow cronies! Sassy grannies travel in packs, ya know! You can be the bait that they whistle at - just smile and walk down the street...and then us Sup-A Grannies will swoop in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!! Bliss, we're gonna be on the front of a joke birthday card someday!!!

Totally! I'm soooo going to be a sassy grandma. Those young 'uns are gonna need a looooooot of therapy after Sup-A Granny is done with them! They'll be cryin'! I'm going to be Medea times 1,000,000!

 

[geckodani]

Count me in, LOL!!!

Date: 8/13/2008 3:09:18 PM
Author: Bliss

Date: 8/13/2008 3:06:42 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Bliss
Irishgrrrl, geckodani...You can be my fellow cronies! Sassy grannies travel in packs, ya know! You can be the bait that they whistle at - just smile and walk down the street...and then us Sup-A Grannies will swoop in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!! Bliss, we''re gonna be on the front of a joke birthday card someday!!!

Totally! I''m soooo going to be a sassy grandma. Those young ''uns are gonna need a looooooot of therapy after Sup-A Granny is done with them! They''ll be cryin''! I''m going to be Medea times 1,000,000!

 

[princesss]

I''m right there with Shiny. Touch me and I''ll punch your lights out. Eveerything else I''ll ignore or brush off. I elbowed some guy in the sternum when he tried to grind against me at a club. I mean, nobody else was around and he tries to grind against my butt? No thanks.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:09:18 PM
Author: Bliss

Date: 8/13/2008 3:06:42 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl

Date: 8/13/2008 3:05:42 PM
Author: Bliss
Irishgrrrl, geckodani...You can be my fellow cronies! Sassy grannies travel in packs, ya know! You can be the bait that they whistle at - just smile and walk down the street...and then us Sup-A Grannies will swoop in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFLMAO!!! Bliss, we''re gonna be on the front of a joke birthday card someday!!!

Totally! I''m soooo going to be a sassy grandma. Those young ''uns are gonna need a looooooot of therapy after Sup-A Granny is done with them! They''ll be cryin''! I''m going to be Medea times 1,000,000!

I

Medea!!!

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:13:40 PM
Author: princesss
I''m right there with Shiny. Touch me and I''ll punch your lights out. Eveerything else I''ll ignore or brush off. I elbowed some guy in the sternum when he tried to grind against me at a club. I mean, nobody else was around and he tries to grind against my butt? No thanks.

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW, Princesss, I''m glad you elbowed him in the sternum! Personally, I think I would have aimed a little lower.

 

[princesss]

I''d already had enough contact there, thankyouverymuch. *shudder*

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 2:50:02 PM
Author: Bliss
You wouldn''t like it in NYC! That is just what happens to all decently attractive women. Lots of construction workers, guys driving trucks and random men who will HONK and whistle, mumble things or say them loudly as you pass by.

I think the best thing is to ignore it. If someone says hello, I smile and that''s it...keep walking. No sense in shooting hostile dirty looks unless it''s disrespectful. Sometimes I feel like yelling, ''HEY! That''s SOMEONE''S WIFE-TO-BE YOU''RE WHISTLING AT! Have some respect!'' I can''t imagine how I''d feel with my baby if someone whistles at me.

This is what escalates (in extreme cases) to those women being attacked & groped by groups of men in Central Park several years ago.

OMG!!!

Bliss, I hadn''t heard about this! Please tell me they caught the guys who were doing it and locked them up???

 

[Irishgrrrl]

Date: 8/13/2008 3:20:36 PM
Author: princesss
I''d already had enough contact there, thankyouverymuch. *shudder*

Good point, Princesss! ICK!!!