Vent/Rage of the day thread

[jordyonbass]

Pirate rage time now...

I dropped my boat into a new marine mechanic 3 weeks ago for a service, something I thought would only take a few days, I went with a new guy as I had a few friends recommend him to me and it should have only been gone for a few days. The day after I dropped it off and the day after that I was getting calls stating 'I need to order parts' etc etc. Slightly frustrating as it was going to delay my pick up but it's something I understand needs to be done sometimes as not all marine mechanics carry all parts for all motor brands and types.

So 3 weeks have gone by and I just got a call from the guy with the bill for my boat's motor service. I was shocked to hear that the reason it took so long was that a few areas were repaired with fibreglass matting and a bunch of other work was done that the marine mechanic decided to do without consulting me first. What should have been a routine trip to a marine mechanic for a $500 service has now turned into a bill of over $2500 of unauthorized works. At this point the marine guy is not wishing to release my boat until full payment has been made, saying the boat needed the work in order to be seaworthy (never knew my internal storage compartments affected my seaworthiness).

And to top it all off my boat has been parked on the grass out the front of his shop without any kind of lock on it to protect it. To say I am raging right now would be a severe understatement...

I shall be getting my boat back tonight with the assistance of a couple friends, I am contemplating whether or not I should leave his $500 in an envelope under his door as the reality is that he will not know where the boat has gone when comes in the next morning, he will just know it's gone. I've got a papertrail that shows I asked for the service ONLY as well as messages between us stating he had done extra work and me saying it was not OK as he hadn't asked for approval. The guy is only 20 years old and despite being well-known for his expertise with outboard motors and ability to fix nearly anything, he obviously has a LONG way to go when it comes to being an ethical businessman.

I'll report back tomorrow with an update on how 'Operation: Boat Retrieval' pans out guys. This may get ugly but I want my freakin' boat back!!!!!

Well that went smooth...ish. My boat was still out the front of his workshop and still without any locks when I rocked up last night with 3 of my mates. As angry as that made me, it did mean all I had to do in order to take my boat home was to hook it up onto the car. So we did that and took off, as we got about 200 yards down the road we were then nearly side swiped and cut off by the mechanic in his utility.

Things got ugly FAST, he got out of his car on his own with a baseball bat and started yelling while tapping his bat on the bonnet of my mate's car. He started yelling abuse, calling me a thief (how does one steal THEIR OWN property?!), a criminal, a POS, scumbag, threatened to destroy my boat etc. He stated he wasn't going to move his car until he was paid the full $2500 or until I gave my boat back to him. I was concerned this was going to happen, so I had brought our entire paper trail of communication, the money that was owed for the motor service as well as mounted GoPros on us and the car to document the entire operation to show that my boat was sitting on the road, unlocked and ready for me to pick up.

The police arrived at where our cars were stopped and the mechanic ran up to them first and gave his 'side' of the story, that I had stolen a boat from his boatyard and he had stopped us and placed us under citizens arrest (something that he did not do at all). The police then came and spoke with me and I showed them my rego papers, our paper trail of discussion where I had specifically told him that I did not authorize the works he had completed and his apathy towards that statement. I also explained that we did not go armed or with intent to hurt anyone and that my boat had been sitting on the road outside his workshop for weeks without any kind of lock - something that could also be seen in GoPro footage we had shot. I also showed the police I had the money I owed for the actual service itself and he had refused to take it as he was wanting more money than we originally agreed the service would cost.

The result: I was allowed to drive away with my boat AND my cash, the police said they had seen enough from me to confirm that I had done everything right in our interactions and we had done nothing illegal in retrieving my boat. They basically said to the guy that he ****ed up and if he wanted to chase me for the cash then he would have to take legal action via personal claims court as the police will not lift a finger to assist him with his situation. Which basically means he can sue for the service we agreed to, which will cost more in legal fees than the actual cost. They also said he can try for the full $2500 amount he wanted, but they are of the opinion that my paperwork would be enough defense to clear myself and be able to counter-sue for costs involved. He basically drove off yelling 'See you in court you piece of ****' but I have a feeling I won't be hearing from him again once he realizes it will be a waste of his time and money.

I just waved and yelled at him to have a wonderful night

It's good to get a win sometimes, I've gone from raging to relief with a touch of paranoia (for that reason my boat is at a friend's house and secured). Those areas that were repaired were areas I had planned for future work to be done by myself in order to repair the boat to full glory, I guess it has now been done a lot sooner and waaaay cheaper than I originally anticipated

 

[VRBeauty]

Sitting by the window at a local McDonalds, watching people drive off with one hand on the wheel and the other holding a soft-serve ice cream cone. #recipefordisaster

 

[Rena7]

My dad passed away a few years ago and left my mom in a bad financial situation. We moved her up by us and got her all set up with a house and budget she could manage. There wasn't a lot of extra money so she is cleaning houses at 73 years old and we are paying her cell phone bill. This is the background for you.

Couple weeks ago my mom went to visit my brother and next thing I know they have her set up with a Facebook page and bought her a tablet. Now not only can she not afford an Internet plan but she is really not good with gadgets and this is just going to end up with more work for my Dh who does so much for her already. If they weren't so lazy and just would send her pictures of their kid now and again instead of trying to get her on Facebook I would really appreciate it.

Oh boy, this sounds sorta familiar. My MIL is a widow, but she's financially beyond comfortable. We live three blocks from her, so her day to day problems fall on us {and am NOT complaining, she has been a lifesaver to me many times}. Anyway, my younger BIL decided a computer would be a GREAT gift for her. Never mid the fact she has no internet, has NEVER actually seen a computer and would spend the day calling us to come over and help her out because, frankly at 85 I can't see her adapting to the modern world. The husband had to quite forcibly tell the BIL not to give such a useless and potentially aggravating gift. As you said, mail some pictures --the USPS I still working!

Exactly, my mom is just not good with technology which is why she has an old cell phone and still has trouble with that. It is great for them to get her a gift and all but I feel like so much of this has fallen on my dh since my dad died that I just resent it. He took care of getting my dad in hospice and then the cremation and went down and moved my mom up here by himself and took care of selling her house, buying one here and getting her all set up. My brother went down to visit her for a couple of days and bought her a small tv. And of course now my dh basically has the upkeep of two households to take on. My brother hasn't helped out with anything at all. Oh well, she's my mom I'm not going to leave her without any help. Thanks for understanding it definitely helps.

 

[Rena7]

Jordyonbass I am so glad you had a good outcome on your boat. Hopefully he will just drop it I think you are right that it would not be worth his time.

 

[jordyonbass]

Thanks Rena7!

I'm still not completely out of the woods yet as the guy does know my address details, like I said I've got the boat hidden at a friend's house for now until it all blows over as I am worried he would come with a saw and try undo the work he did. It's something that I know my father would do when his clients owed him for a job for more than 6 months and were reluctant to pay. But that's a different situation.

I've also got my car behind locked gates, just in case!!

 

[Jambalaya]

I love my father in law...but...

I did not like hearing him say "I'm going to start visiting a lot more often."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Has he recently retired, by any chance? It's when the olds retire that all the problems start, in my experience.

Not recently...but yes, I know what you're saying...all of the sudden there's a lot of time...

Which they want to spend with YOU! ROFL!! Lucky ole' you!

Oh, I am sorry to laugh, but it's just that I've more than done my duty in this area and gawd, it was horrendous. I have a crazy half-sister in the area who hinted about spending more time together when she retires, and I can't bear it to such an extent that if this ever becomes reality, I'm going to tell her straight that I just don't want to spend time with her. Life is WAY too short.

But he's your FIL, and you like him, so you're stuck!

ROFL!!!

You are having way too much fun with this Jambalaya

I'm going to get you back one day

But seriously for me this is something that actually causes my soul to hurt haha I really don't like visitors...so as much as I like him, if he thinks he's coming here for weeks at a time to visit...well...I will try to negotiate the time down with DH. Somewhere more than I would like (which is at most 3-4 days :/) and what they want

Are you like this too, or are you more tolerant with visitors?

Well, I have to get my laughs from somewhere, don't I! You're gonna get me back, huh? Oooh, I'm scared!

Regarding the length of the visits, you're going to think I'm yanking your chain, but I used to have relatives stay for up to 4 weeks. Sometimes 3 weeks, but mostly 2 weeks. Wellll, I kinda took pity on them 'cos they were old and the rest of the family had no time for them - typically selfish - and they wanted to see us so bad, and were coming from a long way, and two were widowed...you get the pic.

So you know what? I think you should do the same! R.O.F.L!!!! Is your FIL young and in good health? I do hope so! Lots of good times ahead!

 

[Jambalaya]

[quote="Calliecake|

Jambalaya and CJ2008, Your comments made me laugh. My FIL said the same thing when he retired. He has sinced passed away but my husband and I would do anything to be able to spend time with him. Enjoy him while you can. Believe me, you will wish you had this time when he's gone. Now if it was my MIL making the comments I would have made the comments CJ2008 thought about making to her sister![/quote]


I hear you, Calliecake. The really surprising thing about death is that it's forever. I mean, who knew? Never really realized that till I lost people.

 

[VRBeauty]

I hear you, Calliecake. The really surprising thing about death is that it's forever. I mean, who knew? Never really realized that till I lost people.

This. Exactly. I was shocked to learn this, and shocked that it took me as long as it did to learn it.

 

[missy]

I hear you, Calliecake. The really surprising thing about death is that it's forever. I mean, who knew? Never really realized that till I lost people.

This. Exactly. I was shocked to learn this, and shocked that it took me as long as it did to learn it.

Ha, I was the very opposite. Thinking about how death is so terribly permanent from when I was a very young girl. I used to lay awake at nights thinking about death and what it was and how it would just be darkness, nothingness, a deep abyss. How when people die they are gone never to return, never to be able to hug and love again. Yes I was (am?) that dark. Many sleepless nights when I was a little girl. I still have sleepless nights but it isn't usually death that I am preoccupied with anymore. Instead it is with other life problems. Oh being an adult is fun LOL.

 

[CJ2008]

I love my father in law...but...

I did not like hearing him say "I'm going to start visiting a lot more often."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Has he recently retired, by any chance? It's when the olds retire that all the problems start, in my experience.

Not recently...but yes, I know what you're saying...all of the sudden there's a lot of time...

Which they want to spend with YOU! ROFL!! Lucky ole' you!

Oh, I am sorry to laugh, but it's just that I've more than done my duty in this area and gawd, it was horrendous. I have a crazy half-sister in the area who hinted about spending more time together when she retires, and I can't bear it to such an extent that if this ever becomes reality, I'm going to tell her straight that I just don't want to spend time with her. Life is WAY too short.

But he's your FIL, and you like him, so you're stuck!

ROFL!!!

You are having way too much fun with this Jambalaya

I'm going to get you back one day

But seriously for me this is something that actually causes my soul to hurt haha I really don't like visitors...so as much as I like him, if he thinks he's coming here for weeks at a time to visit...well...I will try to negotiate the time down with DH. Somewhere more than I would like (which is at most 3-4 days :/) and what they want

Are you like this too, or are you more tolerant with visitors?

Well, I have to get my laughs from somewhere, don't I! You're gonna get me back, huh? Oooh, I'm scared!

Regarding the length of the visits, you're going to think I'm yanking your chain, but I used to have relatives stay for up to 4 weeks. Sometimes 3 weeks, but mostly 2 weeks. Wellll, I kinda took pity on them 'cos they were old and the rest of the family had no time for them - typically selfish - and they wanted to see us so bad, and were coming from a long way, and two were widowed...you get the pic.

So you know what? I think you should do the same! R.O.F.L!!!! Is your FIL young and in good health? I do hope so! Lots of good times ahead!

Jambalaya you are so funny. I can totally see your personality coming through in this post.

I can't help but notice that even with all that you say, you still let them stay, for all the reasons you mentioned. You are not so not nice after all.

All I can say, Jambalaya, is that I hope I never have to have someone over here for 2 weeks, much less 4 weeks.

And if I do I will make sure not to post it so you cannot enjoy it

 

[Kelinas]

2 words: Florida fleas.


It's so bad this year, and I'm tempted to bomb my house. Ugh.

 

[TooPatient]

Four years ago today, my cousin lost her 27 day old baby to pertusis. It shouldn't have happened. The doctors never tested her when she started coughing in the hospital (despite an epidemic declared in the county) and ignored her again as the baby started to cough. It wasn't until she insisted that they finally tested and found her and her baby infected. Would a week have made a difference? Hard to say.

Get vaccinated. Stay home when sick. Insist on testing if you think you need it.

 

[missy]

I love my father in law...but...

I did not like hearing him say "I'm going to start visiting a lot more often."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Has he recently retired, by any chance? It's when the olds retire that all the problems start, in my experience.

Not recently...but yes, I know what you're saying...all of the sudden there's a lot of time...

Which they want to spend with YOU! ROFL!! Lucky ole' you!

Oh, I am sorry to laugh, but it's just that I've more than done my duty in this area and gawd, it was horrendous. I have a crazy half-sister in the area who hinted about spending more time together when she retires, and I can't bear it to such an extent that if this ever becomes reality, I'm going to tell her straight that I just don't want to spend time with her. Life is WAY too short.

But he's your FIL, and you like him, so you're stuck!

ROFL!!!

You are having way too much fun with this Jambalaya

I'm going to get you back one day

But seriously for me this is something that actually causes my soul to hurt haha I really don't like visitors...so as much as I like him, if he thinks he's coming here for weeks at a time to visit...well...I will try to negotiate the time down with DH. Somewhere more than I would like (which is at most 3-4 days :/) and what they want

Are you like this too, or are you more tolerant with visitors?

Well, I have to get my laughs from somewhere, don't I! You're gonna get me back, huh? Oooh, I'm scared!

Regarding the length of the visits, you're going to think I'm yanking your chain, but I used to have relatives stay for up to 4 weeks. Sometimes 3 weeks, but mostly 2 weeks. Wellll, I kinda took pity on them 'cos they were old and the rest of the family had no time for them - typically selfish - and they wanted to see us so bad, and were coming from a long way, and two were widowed...you get the pic.

So you know what? I think you should do the same! R.O.F.L!!!! Is your FIL young and in good health? I do hope so! Lots of good times ahead!

Jambalaya you are so funny. I can totally see your personality coming through in this post.

I can't help but notice that even with all that you say, you still let them stay, for all the reasons you mentioned. You are not so not nice after all.

All I can say, Jambalaya, is that I hope I never have to have someone over here for 2 weeks, much less 4 weeks.

And if I do I will make sure not to post it so you cannot enjoy it

CJ, better yet, if you ever find yourself in that situation i.e. a relative demanding to stay for weeks at a time let me know and I will take care of it for you. I feel your pain as I am not a big fan of (most) houseguests and no way would I let you be tortured like that if I can help it. Not someone who is a fellow animal lover like me.

 

[missy]

Four years ago today, my cousin lost her 27 day old baby to pertusis. It shouldn't have happened. The doctors never tested her when she started coughing in the hospital (despite an epidemic declared in the county) and ignored her again as the baby started to cough. It wasn't until she insisted that they finally tested and found her and her baby infected. Would a week have made a difference? Hard to say.

Get vaccinated. Stay home when sick. Insist on testing if you think you need it.

TooPatient, I am so sorry about your cousin and her baby. You are 100% correct. This was a completely preventable death and it should have never happened. If only everyone would get vaccinated when necessary these diseases would die forever.

 

[ckrickett]

2 words: Florida fleas.


It's so bad this year, and I'm tempted to bomb my house. Ugh.

^^^^^^^^^^THIS

it got SO bad one year I had to get them off of the floor with a lint roller. we are super duper clean, vacuum, mop, clean our couches several times a week, and those pesky little guys still came out in full force. we FINALLY got them under control with a very strict regimen of cleaning, and using anti flea meds on our cats, they get x2 the flea liquid a month and 2 flea pills a month.

 

[ckrickett]

Four years ago today, my cousin lost her 27 day old baby to pertusis. It shouldn't have happened. The doctors never tested her when she started coughing in the hospital (despite an epidemic declared in the county) and ignored her again as the baby started to cough. It wasn't until she insisted that they finally tested and found her and her baby infected. Would a week have made a difference? Hard to say.

Get vaccinated. Stay home when sick. Insist on testing if you think you need it.

TooPatient, I am so sorry about your cousin and her baby. You are 100% correct. This was a completely preventable death and it should have never happened. If only everyone would get vaccinated when necessary these diseases would die forever.

I am sorry toopatient, I agree wholeheartedly with Missy

 

[CJ2008]

I love my father in law...but...

I did not like hearing him say "I'm going to start visiting a lot more often."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Has he recently retired, by any chance? It's when the olds retire that all the problems start, in my experience.

Not recently...but yes, I know what you're saying...all of the sudden there's a lot of time...

Which they want to spend with YOU! ROFL!! Lucky ole' you!

Oh, I am sorry to laugh, but it's just that I've more than done my duty in this area and gawd, it was horrendous. I have a crazy half-sister in the area who hinted about spending more time together when she retires, and I can't bear it to such an extent that if this ever becomes reality, I'm going to tell her straight that I just don't want to spend time with her. Life is WAY too short.

But he's your FIL, and you like him, so you're stuck!

ROFL!!!

You are having way too much fun with this Jambalaya

I'm going to get you back one day

But seriously for me this is something that actually causes my soul to hurt haha I really don't like visitors...so as much as I like him, if he thinks he's coming here for weeks at a time to visit...well...I will try to negotiate the time down with DH. Somewhere more than I would like (which is at most 3-4 days :/) and what they want

Are you like this too, or are you more tolerant with visitors?

Well, I have to get my laughs from somewhere, don't I! You're gonna get me back, huh? Oooh, I'm scared!

Regarding the length of the visits, you're going to think I'm yanking your chain, but I used to have relatives stay for up to 4 weeks. Sometimes 3 weeks, but mostly 2 weeks. Wellll, I kinda took pity on them 'cos they were old and the rest of the family had no time for them - typically selfish - and they wanted to see us so bad, and were coming from a long way, and two were widowed...you get the pic.

So you know what? I think you should do the same! R.O.F.L!!!! Is your FIL young and in good health? I do hope so! Lots of good times ahead!

Jambalaya you are so funny. I can totally see your personality coming through in this post.

I can't help but notice that even with all that you say, you still let them stay, for all the reasons you mentioned. You are not so not nice after all.

All I can say, Jambalaya, is that I hope I never have to have someone over here for 2 weeks, much less 4 weeks.

And if I do I will make sure not to post it so you cannot enjoy it

CJ, better yet, if you ever find yourself in that situation i.e. a relative demanding to stay for weeks at a time let me know and I will take care of it for you. I feel your pain as I am not a big fan of (most) houseguests and no way would I let you be tortured like that if I can help it. Not someone who is a fellow animal lover like me.

OMG how did I miss this?

I am putting your name in my address book as who to contact to come take care of things for me should that ever happen

And yes, it's so nice to be able to share and bond over our love for animals!

 

[TooPatient]

I have no patience for people who abuse animals. Some "person" seriously suggested my couisin lock her dog in a kennel chained up for three days and "if he still,hasn't learned, put his ass down"

The dog had a back injury and couldn't move for awhile. Got badly constipated and was pretty bad off. They gave him treats and praise when he finally managed and for awhile (this is all recent) a treat every time... All indoors because he couldn't walk.

So (go figure) the Dog has the idea that poop inside means treat.

I may have replied and it may not have been nice and may have,included just whose ass I would put down... Okay. Not my finest moment. I just can't stand to see people treat animals that way.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Four years ago today, my cousin lost her 27 day old baby to pertusis. It shouldn't have happened. The doctors never tested her when she started coughing in the hospital (despite an epidemic declared in the county) and ignored her again as the baby started to cough. It wasn't until she insisted that they finally tested and found her and her baby infected. Would a week have made a difference? Hard to say.

Get vaccinated. Stay home when sick. Insist on testing if you think you need it.

TooPatient, I am so sorry about your cousin and her baby. You are 100% correct. This was a completely preventable death and it should have never happened. If only everyone would get vaccinated when necessary these diseases would die forever.

I am sorry toopatient, I agree wholeheartedly with Missy

I agree. Those anti-vax people drive me nuts. I'm sorry about your cousin's loss.

 

[tyty333]

My dad passed away a few years ago and left my mom in a bad financial situation. We moved her up by us and got her all set up with a house and budget she could manage. There wasn't a lot of extra money so she is cleaning houses at 73 years old and we are paying her cell phone bill. This is the background for you.

Couple weeks ago my mom went to visit my brother and next thing I know they have her set up with a Facebook page and bought her a tablet. Now not only can she not afford an Internet plan but she is really not good with gadgets and this is just going to end up with more work for my Dh who does so much for her already. If they weren't so lazy and just would send her pictures of their kid now and again instead of trying to get her on Facebook I would really appreciate it.

Oh boy, this sounds sorta familiar. My MIL is a widow, but she's financially beyond comfortable. We live three blocks from her, so her day to day problems fall on us {and am NOT complaining, she has been a lifesaver to me many times}. Anyway, my younger BIL decided a computer would be a GREAT gift for her. Never mid the fact she has no internet, has NEVER actually seen a computer and would spend the day calling us to come over and help her out because, frankly at 85 I can't see her adapting to the modern world. The husband had to quite forcibly tell the BIL not to give such a useless and potentially aggravating gift. As you said, mail some pictures --the USPS I still working!

Exactly, my mom is just not good with technology which is why she has an old cell phone and still has trouble with that. It is great for them to get her a gift and all but I feel like so much of this has fallen on my dh since my dad died that I just resent it. He took care of getting my dad in hospice and then the cremation and went down and moved my mom up here by himself and took care of selling her house, buying one here and getting her all set up. My brother went down to visit her for a couple of days and bought her a small tv. And of course now my dh basically has the upkeep of two households to take on. My brother hasn't helped out with anything at all. Oh well, she's my mom I'm not going to leave her without any help. Thanks for understanding it definitely helps.

Same here with my MIL. Our nephew came and thought how great it would be for Grandma to be connected so he and others could
skype her. So off they went to buy an ipad without asking my DH who is her local care taker (and will have to provide all the
support when somethings not working). Heck, she had a very simple cell phone she wouldnt even use when she should have like when
she couldnt figure out how to turn the windshield wipers on in her new car (she drove home in the rain without wipers). Or when
she couldnt turn the headlights on after the service person turned the auto funtion off that made them come on automatically at
dusk resulting in a $2000 fender bender. So $500 later she now has an ipad that sits in the closet she never uses and doesn't even
want to know how to use it. She's 85 years old and she likes to stay connected the old fashion way pen/paper. Word to the wise...
don't go buying electronics for the elderly that have never used them. Oh, and just in case you are wondering (worried) my DH
sold her new car that another brother thought she just "had" to have. We are all lucky she is off the streets.

Now we just get phone calls when she can't get the remote to work. That's manageable! She's a great Grandma but it just helps
to keep things simple!

 

[CJ2008]

I have no patience for people who abuse animals. Some "person" seriously suggested my couisin lock her dog in a kennel chained up for three days and "if he still,hasn't learned, put his a$$ down"

The dog had a back injury and couldn't move for awhile. Got badly constipated and was pretty bad off. They gave him treats and praise when he finally managed and for awhile (this is all recent) a treat every time... All indoors because he couldn't walk.

So (go figure) the Dog has the idea that poop inside means treat.

I may have replied and it may not have been nice and may have,included just whose a$$ I would put down... Okay. Not my finest moment. I just can't stand to see people treat animals that way.

OMG TP

Glad you said something

 

[CJ2008]

Hate hate hate when I crave cookies EVERY SINGLE DAY

Worse, when I give IN to the craving.

This whole week, I have just been giving IN.

Chocolate, cookies, candy - everything. And lots of it.

I'll make the right choice (banana, fruit, etc.) and then minutes later I'll just get up and go grab cookies.

 

[Sky56]

That's the worst - preventable death - I'm so sorry to hear about the death of the baby. A vent - when there are life-threatening symptoms present - and they are ignored by health professionals. We had this happen with an elderly relative and only badgering by family members would get them to take it seriously.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

My dad passed away a few years ago and left my mom in a bad financial situation. We moved her up by us and got her all set up with a house and budget she could manage. There wasn't a lot of extra money so she is cleaning houses at 73 years old and we are paying her cell phone bill. This is the background for you.

Couple weeks ago my mom went to visit my brother and next thing I know they have her set up with a Facebook page and bought her a tablet. Now not only can she not afford an Internet plan but she is really not good with gadgets and this is just going to end up with more work for my Dh who does so much for her already. If they weren't so lazy and just would send her pictures of their kid now and again instead of trying to get her on Facebook I would really appreciate it.

Oh boy, this sounds sorta familiar. My MIL is a widow, but she's financially beyond comfortable. We live three blocks from her, so her day to day problems fall on us {and am NOT complaining, she has been a lifesaver to me many times}. Anyway, my younger BIL decided a computer would be a GREAT gift for her. Never mid the fact she has no internet, has NEVER actually seen a computer and would spend the day calling us to come over and help her out because, frankly at 85 I can't see her adapting to the modern world. The husband had to quite forcibly tell the BIL not to give such a useless and potentially aggravating gift. As you said, mail some pictures --the USPS I still working!

Exactly, my mom is just not good with technology which is why she has an old cell phone and still has trouble with that. It is great for them to get her a gift and all but I feel like so much of this has fallen on my dh since my dad died that I just resent it. He took care of getting my dad in hospice and then the cremation and went down and moved my mom up here by himself and took care of selling her house, buying one here and getting her all set up. My brother went down to visit her for a couple of days and bought her a small tv. And of course now my dh basically has the upkeep of two households to take on. My brother hasn't helped out with anything at all. Oh well, she's my mom I'm not going to leave her without any help. Thanks for understanding it definitely helps.

Same here with my MIL. Our nephew came and thought how great it would be for Grandma to be connected so he and others could
skype her. So off they went to buy an ipad without asking my DH who is her local care taker (and will have to provide all the
support when somethings not working). Heck, she had a very simple cell phone she wouldnt even use when she should have like when
she couldnt figure out how to turn the windshield wipers on in her new car (she drove home in the rain without wipers). Or when
she couldnt turn the headlights on after the service person turned the auto funtion off that made them come on automatically at
dusk resulting in a $2000 fender bender. So $500 later she now has an ipad that sits in the closet she never uses and doesn't even
want to know how to use it. She's 85 years old and she likes to stay connected the old fashion way pen/paper. Word to the wise...
don't go buying electronics for the elderly that have never used them. Oh, and just in case you are wondering (worried) my DH
sold her new car that another brother thought she just "had" to have. We are all lucky she is off the streets.

Now we just get phone calls when she can't get the remote to work. That's manageable! She's a great Grandma but it just helps
to keep things simple!

I think we may be related!! Stuff like that happensall the time to us.

I took her grocery shopping today. To a superstore. One she specifically said she wanted to go to. Told her to take her time, I would stop at the bistro
and get a cup of tea after I was done {the damn bistro IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE, I WASN'T LEAVING}. This brought about a panicked "NO, YOU HAVE TO WALK BEHIND ME BECAUSE I MAY FALL". And she proceeded to walk up and down every single flipping aisle in the store--even the baby and pets aisles even tho she has neither. I came home and poured myself a stiff vodka and cranberry. at 2:18 in the afternoon.

 

[tyty333]

My dad passed away a few years ago and left my mom in a bad financial situation. We moved her up by us and got her all set up with a house and budget she could manage. There wasn't a lot of extra money so she is cleaning houses at 73 years old and we are paying her cell phone bill. This is the background for you.

Couple weeks ago my mom went to visit my brother and next thing I know they have her set up with a Facebook page and bought her a tablet. Now not only can she not afford an Internet plan but she is really not good with gadgets and this is just going to end up with more work for my Dh who does so much for her already. If they weren't so lazy and just would send her pictures of their kid now and again instead of trying to get her on Facebook I would really appreciate it.

Oh boy, this sounds sorta familiar. My MIL is a widow, but she's financially beyond comfortable. We live three blocks from her, so her day to day problems fall on us {and am NOT complaining, she has been a lifesaver to me many times}. Anyway, my younger BIL decided a computer would be a GREAT gift for her. Never mid the fact she has no internet, has NEVER actually seen a computer and would spend the day calling us to come over and help her out because, frankly at 85 I can't see her adapting to the modern world. The husband had to quite forcibly tell the BIL not to give such a useless and potentially aggravating gift. As you said, mail some pictures --the USPS I still working!

Exactly, my mom is just not good with technology which is why she has an old cell phone and still has trouble with that. It is great for them to get her a gift and all but I feel like so much of this has fallen on my dh since my dad died that I just resent it. He took care of getting my dad in hospice and then the cremation and went down and moved my mom up here by himself and took care of selling her house, buying one here and getting her all set up. My brother went down to visit her for a couple of days and bought her a small tv. And of course now my dh basically has the upkeep of two households to take on. My brother hasn't helped out with anything at all. Oh well, she's my mom I'm not going to leave her without any help. Thanks for understanding it definitely helps.

Same here with my MIL. Our nephew came and thought how great it would be for Grandma to be connected so he and others could
skype her. So off they went to buy an ipad without asking my DH who is her local care taker (and will have to provide all the
support when somethings not working). Heck, she had a very simple cell phone she wouldnt even use when she should have like when
she couldnt figure out how to turn the windshield wipers on in her new car (she drove home in the rain without wipers). Or when
she couldnt turn the headlights on after the service person turned the auto funtion off that made them come on automatically at
dusk resulting in a $2000 fender bender. So $500 later she now has an ipad that sits in the closet she never uses and doesn't even
want to know how to use it. She's 85 years old and she likes to stay connected the old fashion way pen/paper. Word to the wise...
don't go buying electronics for the elderly that have never used them. Oh, and just in case you are wondering (worried) my DH
sold her new car that another brother thought she just "had" to have. We are all lucky she is off the streets.

Now we just get phone calls when she can't get the remote to work. That's manageable! She's a great Grandma but it just helps
to keep things simple!

I think we may be related!! Stuff like that happensall the time to us.

I took her grocery shopping today. To a superstore. One she specifically said she wanted to go to. Told her to take her time, I would stop at the bistro
and get a cup of tea after I was done {the damn bistro IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE, I WASN'T LEAVING}. This brought about a panicked "NO, YOU HAVE TO WALK BEHIND ME BECAUSE I MAY FALL". And she proceeded to walk up and down every single flipping aisle in the store--even the baby and pets aisles even tho she has neither. I came home and poured myself a stiff vodka and cranberry. at 2:18 in the afternoon.

Ha Ha! It is funny that no matter how hard you try it's just never good enough! I can truly understand how it can drive you to drink!
My BIL came down for 5 days to help her get moved in to her new place. He loves going to the beach. He mentioned going to the
beach on the 4th day and she did the ole martyr ..."Well, I guess I'll have to get your brother to do it." Deep sigh...He said never mind
the beach and did her curtains. So I mentioned to her how she wouldnt let BIL go to the beach after he had been doing all that
work for her and she said, "Well he came down here to help me!" She didnt feel bad one bit! I told BIL that he just has to be blunt
with her and say "Yep, your other son can do it. I'm going to the beach."

Walk behind her the whole store...maybe she needs to learn how to use those battery powered carts that grocery/big stores provide.
I'm sure that would cause some other dilemma though! Keep the vodka handy! That's all I can say!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

My dad passed away a few years ago and left my mom in a bad financial situation. We moved her up by us and got her all set up with a house and budget she could manage. There wasn't a lot of extra money so she is cleaning houses at 73 years old and we are paying her cell phone bill. This is the background for you.

Couple weeks ago my mom went to visit my brother and next thing I know they have her set up with a Facebook page and bought her a tablet. Now not only can she not afford an Internet plan but she is really not good with gadgets and this is just going to end up with more work for my Dh who does so much for her already. If they weren't so lazy and just would send her pictures of their kid now and again instead of trying to get her on Facebook I would really appreciate it.

Oh boy, this sounds sorta familiar. My MIL is a widow, but she's financially beyond comfortable. We live three blocks from her, so her day to day problems fall on us {and am NOT complaining, she has been a lifesaver to me many times}. Anyway, my younger BIL decided a computer would be a GREAT gift for her. Never mid the fact she has no internet, has NEVER actually seen a computer and would spend the day calling us to come over and help her out because, frankly at 85 I can't see her adapting to the modern world. The husband had to quite forcibly tell the BIL not to give such a useless and potentially aggravating gift. As you said, mail some pictures --the USPS I still working!

Exactly, my mom is just not good with technology which is why she has an old cell phone and still has trouble with that. It is great for them to get her a gift and all but I feel like so much of this has fallen on my dh since my dad died that I just resent it. He took care of getting my dad in hospice and then the cremation and went down and moved my mom up here by himself and took care of selling her house, buying one here and getting her all set up. My brother went down to visit her for a couple of days and bought her a small tv. And of course now my dh basically has the upkeep of two households to take on. My brother hasn't helped out with anything at all. Oh well, she's my mom I'm not going to leave her without any help. Thanks for understanding it definitely helps.

Same here with my MIL. Our nephew came and thought how great it would be for Grandma to be connected so he and others could
skype her. So off they went to buy an ipad without asking my DH who is her local care taker (and will have to provide all the
support when somethings not working). Heck, she had a very simple cell phone she wouldnt even use when she should have like when
she couldnt figure out how to turn the windshield wipers on in her new car (she drove home in the rain without wipers). Or when
she couldnt turn the headlights on after the service person turned the auto funtion off that made them come on automatically at
dusk resulting in a $2000 fender bender. So $500 later she now has an ipad that sits in the closet she never uses and doesn't even
want to know how to use it. She's 85 years old and she likes to stay connected the old fashion way pen/paper. Word to the wise...
don't go buying electronics for the elderly that have never used them. Oh, and just in case you are wondering (worried) my DH
sold her new car that another brother thought she just "had" to have. We are all lucky she is off the streets.

Now we just get phone calls when she can't get the remote to work. That's manageable! She's a great Grandma but it just helps
to keep things simple!

I think we may be related!! Stuff like that happensall the time to us.

I took her grocery shopping today. To a superstore. One she specifically said she wanted to go to. Told her to take her time, I would stop at the bistro
and get a cup of tea after I was done {the damn bistro IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE, I WASN'T LEAVING}. This brought about a panicked "NO, YOU HAVE TO WALK BEHIND ME BECAUSE I MAY FALL". And she proceeded to walk up and down every single flipping aisle in the store--even the baby and pets aisles even tho she has neither. I came home and poured myself a stiff vodka and cranberry. at 2:18 in the afternoon.

Ha Ha! It is funny that no matter how hard you try it's just never good enough! I can truly understand how it can drive you to drink!
My BIL came down for 5 days to help her get moved in to her new place. He loves going to the beach. He mentioned going to the
beach on the 4th day and she did the ole martyr ..."Well, I guess I'll have to get your brother to do it." Deep sigh...He said never mind
the beach and did her curtains. So I mentioned to her how she wouldnt let BIL go to the beach after he had been doing all that
work for her and she said, "Well he came down here to help me!" She didnt feel bad one bit! I told BIL that he just has to be blunt
with her and say "Yep, your other son can do it. I'm going to the beach."

Walk behind her the whole store...maybe she needs to learn how to use those battery powered carts that grocery/big stores provide.
I'm sure that would cause some other dilemma though! Keep the vodka handy! That's all I can say!

I had Bette Midler on the stereo while we were going to the store and she mentioned that she liked her. I told her we had recently seen her in concert at MSG and she said she hadn't realized we saw her and I said well I didn't want you to freak out because we LEFT THE STATE FOR TH EVENING {we live in NJ}. She forgets she has three other sons who also live here....{she's also oblivious to sarcasm............}

 

[chemgirl]

I'm way too non-confrontational.

Today I gave a grad student a factory tour (I manage research in a manufacturing environment and sometimes we work in partnerships with Universities).

I am an extreme introvert so while I do the tours and do them well, I always get a bit of performance anxiety.

Well this student was a jerk. He kept on acting like he knew everything about the manufacturing process, when his questions clearly show he didn't. He talked down to me the entire time and demanded to see things that aren't part of the normal tour (like screen shots of our CAD designs, um no, that is proprietary). He took photos after I said no photography etc. He also asked very specific questions that I either couldn't, or wouldn't answer. For example he asked something specific about the version of software used in the design department and I admitted that I didn't know which version it is (I did know the name of the program, but I have never used it so didn't know specifics). At one point he asked for a list of chemicals used in a process and their ratios. I obviously can't give out that kind of info.

Well this jerkface says in a loud voice in front of several of my colleagues "Can you find me someone who actually knows what they're talking about?"

That went over really well. Everyone was angry on my behalf and insisted that I call his academic supervisor and report him. I was filled with anxiety all afternoon in anticipation of that conversation. Grrrr

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I'm way too non-confrontational.

Today I gave a grad student a factory tour (I manage research in a manufacturing environment and sometimes we work in partnerships with Universities).

I am an extreme introvert so while I do the tours and do them well, I always get a bit of performance anxiety.

Well this student was a jerk. He kept on acting like he knew everything about the manufacturing process, when his questions clearly show he didn't. He talked down to me the entire time and demanded to see things that aren't part of the normal tour (like screen shots of our CAD designs, um no, that is proprietary). He took photos after I said no photography etc. He also asked very specific questions that I either couldn't, or wouldn't answer. For example he asked something specific about the version of software used in the design department and I admitted that I didn't know which version it is (I did know the name of the program, but I have never used it so didn't know specifics). At one point he asked for a list of chemicals used in a process and their ratios. I obviously can't give out that kind of info.

Well this jerkface says in a loud voice in front of several of my colleagues "Can you find me someone who actually knows what they're talking about?"

That went over really well. Everyone was angry on my behalf and insisted that I call his academic supervisor and report him. I was filled with anxiety all afternoon in anticipation of that conversation. Grrrr

he's a jerk. sorry you had that experience. Report him.

 

[tyty333]

Chemgirl,

You are doing the kid (jerk) a favor. The sooner he learns that he's not "all that" the better off he'll be. I mean really...did
this guy think you were going to cough up the "special formula" for him? Heck, I don't even know what version of windows
I'm running right now! Anyone can ask enough questions to stump someone. All they are trying to do is boost their ego
while making others look small. Unfortunately for him most people know this act and see right through it. Sooner he knows,
the better!

If you didn't noticed, I'm annoyed for you Chemgirl!

tyty

 

[tyty333]

Amber...maybe our Moms/MILs are related! The day we left on a 10 day trip she called another son that is several states away
and asked if he would be her backup. We left her with people to call here (my oldest son, my parents plus she has friends). What
was the son several states away going to be able to do for her? Basically nothing except call my son or my parents.

I know growing old must be hard.

On a funner note...we were driving the other day and I saw this little ole guy on one of those nice 3 wheeled motorcycles pulling
up beside our car. I looked over at him and it was a little ole lady! I gave her the thumbs up and she grinned. Made me smile
to see someone that looked like a possible walker user riding this huge motorcycle. Now that's the way to grow old!