The non-engagement good news thread!

[heartsonfire]

Sweetie congratulations with the independent film... I would love to see you act.. who knows one day you might be the next Jennifer Aniston... woooohoooo... can I get an autograph

. (((big hugs))) and all the best!

 

[katrina_33]

Hey Blue Roses - Chloe Lane is my FAVORITE! They have great sales during the fest too. I got two great pairs of jeans there last year that I''m still wearing.

Full scale madness is about to start. I''ll talk to you all in 10 days!

 

[palmbaybabe]

Congrats Blue Roses - I wish I was in the area, I would love to attend

 

[goldengirl]

BlueChica-- my mom volunteered for the Olympics (got a bunch of cool Olympic memorabilia, pins and a messenger bag that somebody broke into her van a couple years ago to steal

) but I was SOOOO sick of the construction and the traffic and was just DREADING having the city flooded with millions of foreigners making it worse soooo...... I came to Phoenix.

It''s so funny, cuz everybody''s like, Oh, you got to experience the Olympics, was it fun? And I say, hellifino, I ran away!!

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Congrats!! I had forgotten you a thespian. Did you get your username from "The Glass Menagerie" by any chance?

 

[blueroses]

PBB and BlingQ, thank you

BlingQueen, you got it!! Laura was my graduate thesis role and I have a very tender spot in my heart for her.

 

[psuheather]

BlueRoses--Congrats! Please keep us updated about when and where and how we can attend the festival. I live in the DC area and it sounds like a ton of fun!

 

[blueroses]

aw, thank you!! I had coffee w/ the director today and I should find out soon when it will screen. (It''s a short, so it will be on a program with a few others.)

 

[Kaili]

Blueroses- Keep us posted. You''ve got a fan base already with all of the PSers!

Jenwill- YEAH for the king-sized bed!! With my diagonal sleeping bf and my dog who sprawls when she sleeps, I''ve been tempted as of late to go out and buy a king! Every night I wake up falling off of the bed with no covers!

Golden- I''ve got my fingers crossed for you that you get the job of your dreams with the salary and perks you deserve!

Kat- I think a wedding in Maui during the film fest would be an amazing time! What a great idea!

Lovey- Congrats on your friend''s baby! How exciting! AND... and "A" in your first class- you rock!

 

[Blue824]

BlueRoses -- I know you mentioned earlier that you may try to fly out for your screening...and I''m not sure if American Airlines is having a fare sale or if there is some fluke because I''ve been flying back and forth from that city for 5 years now and I just got my ticket to see my BF $100 instead of my usual $200. Like really, the last time I was this excited about airfare was my $155 and I thought that was a steal. Absolutely nuts! Anyway, I''m not sure if its just from certain locations or what the average fare is from CA, but might be worth checking on if you were seriously looking into going to DC for it!

 

[teebee]

YAY!! That''s so terrific blueroses!!! Wow... I''m jsut really impressed! Isn''t it fun to see something that you''re proud of for yourself & someone else get some recognition and acolades?!?!?! Very cool.

GG ~ One of my good friends lives in SLC & I went to visit her the year before the Olympics and stocked up on a bunch of Olympics gear so people are always seeing a refrigerator magnet or coffee mug and commenting on how fun that must have been...

And I''m like, I have no idea, I wasn''t there, I didn''t do that, but I do have the t-shirt. And my friend that lives there ended up taking a long vacation and renting out their house for a couple of weeks just to avoid all of the craziness.

JenWill ~ Oh, a king bed is a big deal. I''m so jealous, we can barely fit our queen size beds into the 2 bedrooms. My FI just booked a room in Vegas for us in May and he booked double queen beds instead of a king & I''m still trying to figure out what the he11 he was thinking... I was like, are you wanting us to sleep separately?

Kat ~ I looooooooooooooove your Maui film festival idea!!! That is so fun & the fact that you could personalize it like that, centering it around something that you both love, while also giving your guests something fun to do is such a great idea!!!

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Date: 1/22/2005 4

1:57 PM
Author: blueroses
PBB and BlingQ, thank you

BlingQueen, you got it!! Laura was my graduate thesis role and I have a very tender spot in my heart for her.

Wow bluerose, I did my 5,000 word(yes 5,000) thesis on Tennessee Williams! He is my favorite playwright of all time. Laura has always been my most beloved character. There is so much depth and meaning in her that TW took from his personal life. In fact, ''Laura'' is in alot of his characters. The ''blue roses'' nickname has always struck me as truly sweet.I lived and breathed Tennessee Williams for a whole semester and got to know him inside/out. I learned how disturbed he was and how he got that way. I was the only one in English Lit that didn''t complain about the assignment! I loved it.

 

[blueroses]

BQ, I am right there with you. So much of GM is autobiographical (as you know!!) and Rose Williams''s story is just heartbreaking. I actually also played Amanda in a production my senior year of high school--obviously a totally different level, but it was very fun to revisit the show and to have played both women in it. Would love to tackle Amanda again in 20 years, but I think I''m done with Laura--it was such an amazing and rewarding process and incredible cast and crew that I would never want to replace it! I can never remember-how long is 5,000 words? Long, I know! My thesis ended up being 44 pages, I think? MFA theses for actors are usually "project reports" based on the research/prep/performance of a role, so it kind of is what it is--there''s not a set length. A whole semester on Tennessee.....I''m jealous!!!

 

[Erin]

Good News - I was almost proposed to yesterday!
Bad News - I have a tough decision to make.

I went to visit the reception site on Saturday (loved it) and took many pics on my digital camera. My bf came home from chicago for the weekend - he was supposed to have stayed there thru Tuesday - but he came home fri night just cause he missed me. So, I was showing him the pics and we got into a discussion.

He really wants to buy a house. We used to be homeowners in Naperville but when we moved downstate we used the profit to pay off debt. Now we rent and bf is disappointed that we didn''t reinvest in a house. However, we moved down here without a plan - couldn''t really say, Hey I''m new in town I just started a job last week and just bought a car - wanna give me a home loan? So now we rent and the bf feels like we went backwards. Needless to say, the house is #1 priority for him because that will affect our future more than ''a piece of paper''. He doesn''t want the price tag of a wedding to set us back on buying a house.

He suggested that we get married like next Wednesday at the court house. Our parents could be there. He promised that he wouldn''t back out on the original idea of the ceremony at the location I found. He just wants our goals to be on the same page.

I said I don''t know I''ll have to think about it. He got out of his chair and walked to the other end of the apartment (did I tell you I know the ring is hidden in the ''spare'' microwave?) I heard the door of it open and shut. He sat back in his seat. We proceeded to talk some more but it was really late at night. I never gave him an answer and he never got the ring out and we went to bed. He left about 3am this morning to go back to Chicago and will return tomorrow night. I''m just super confused this morning. Any ideas?

 

[wcitygirl]

Wow! Erin! That''s sort of exciting! Maybe the one thing I would say to him is to reassure him that you have the same goals as he does and you understand his frustration. Also, that you have no problem actually marrying him (unless you do have a problem marrying HIM), but that you really always wanted a WEDDING wedding. Maybe you could reassure him that you are committed to the same goals, but this is a once in a lifetime sort of thing.

I guess I''m confused why he would be interested in the "Wed. Wedding" AND the ceremony wedding. Would that be later, after you bought a house and he felt you were more financially stable?

 

[appletini]

Erin. Congrats on the almost propsal! I feel for you! Its always hard to make the choice between wants and needs. Ask yourself whats more important: the house or the dream wedding? Y''all could elope in vegas and have your guests meet you there and it will be a vacation for everyone. I''ve told my BF before that I don''t care how we get married, we can go to the courthouse if we have to (although I would prefer this not be the case).

If I had to choose, I would choose the house, but thats just me, and everyone is different. Actually I would get the house, and then invite our closest friends and family over to the new hosue for a house warming/wedding reception party.

At the end of the day all that matters is that you are together and happy! And your friends and family will be excited for you no matter how the wedding happens.

p.s.
I can''t believe he "hides" the ring in the spare microwave!

 

[MelissaSue]

oooh erin.. Thats a big decision and not that much time to make it. Yikes!

Now when he said he wouldn''t back out on the location you''d found.. does that mean you''d have a big wedding at a later date?
If so.. how much later?

I think if hes still willing to have a big wedding later on, I''d do it! But obvioulsy thats a decision YOU have to make for you.

lol. on the ring being hidden in the microwave!

Good luck on deciding!

 

[icekid]

oh erin! what a tough spot... i know how long you''ve been waiting for that ring. and then he almost says well i''ll give you the ring if you give up the wedding. crap! but i can definitely see where he is coming from too- owning a house is definitely great!

i think i saw somewhere (probably some illicit wedding ****) where some people are getting married "secretly" and then having the big wedding later. some for financial reasons, some just to take the pressure off... things like that. it''s definitely something i would consider, so i could be on my bf''s health insurance when i''m too old to stay on my parents''. and i kind of like the idea of it being "secret"... but that probably doesn''t really apply to your situation so much.

i have no idea what i would do personally... but good luck!

 

[blue_chica]

GG - Yeah, I would not have liked to be living in SLC while the olympic prep was going on. I mean, the DNC was enough for me here in Boston!

Erin - Ack! That''s a tough situation, especially if you feel like the engagement is dependent on your answer. Personally I''d get married now, take the house, and have a wedding/reception in a few years after saving up for it, but I''m rather unromantic financially. You have to feel good about it though, so take all the time you need to decide what means the most to you. *Hugs*

 

[Erin]

Thanks for all the great comments ladies!

I guess on the one hand, we get married quickly and there''s no stress of trying to finance a wedding right away. We know we''d have to save up for the party later, but at least we know what our shared goal is. Don''t get me wrong, I absolutely hate renting and cannot wait til we move into a house again - I''m with him on that. I''ve just always thought if I had to do it over again I wouldn''t have moved in so soon. So many years have gone by where he looks at a wedding like ''a piece of paper'' because we''re already committed - nothing will change except my last name and driver''s license number - oh, and my health insurance would take better care of him than his does

My goal has always been the house, too. I guess now I just feel like - you want to buy a house together? Show me why I should feel secure in this plan with you - even though I have no doubts about him or us - maybe I''d feel better about going down this road with the committment.

I don''t necessarily think he wants to buy the house before the wedding - he just wants to be stable in the amount of money we''ve set aside for the house and still have enough on the side for the wedding. God - that''d be forever - certainly not by my chosen date this year.

In my perfect world we would still have the ceremony and repception on the date I chose (Sept 24) at the location I picked but we''d scale it down to make it more affordable. That would be easy - just tell my parents they can''t invite the world like they want to. Just wait to do it ''the right way'' once. Sigh, I''m just a girl who wants it all.

 

[blue_chica]

Show me why I should feel secure in this plan with you - even though I have no doubts about him or us - maybe I''d feel better about going down this road with the committment.

Oh, I hear you - I won''t buy a house with J until we''re married either (though I''ve waffled and occasionally said engagement would be good enough). But, his way you WOULD be married, the commitment would be there, you''d just be saving the huge party for later, right? I understand about changing the parameters, though. If you''ve been thinking about doing it one way it''s hard to go another direction without feeling as though you''ve lost something. Either way you''ve got my sympathy because it''s a tough choice. Why can''t we all be filthy rich?

 

[kanne]

Erin

This is very exciting!!!!!!!!
Your future husband sounds wonderful..trying to make you happy and be practical at the same time... awwwwwww

good catch!

How many people are on your guest list? How about cutting the list down to family and a few friends for an intimate and casual wedding...then when you get the house, have your big combination housewarming/wedding party... You could do something cute like have a little ceremony at the new house, say a few words to each other (I promise to always take out the garbage, in sickness and in health) then he could carry you over the threshold

.

Is there a minimum at the reception site? You could have a wonderful cocktail-style reception instead of a sit down dinner..

What is that ring still doing in the microwave?

I can''t wait to see it on your finger!!!!

 

[blueroses]

Erin, this is HUGE!!!! (And deserving of its own thread, I think!!)

Well. I don''t blame you--I''d be stumped too. It''s like, you have waited all this time to be engaged, and now you could go directly from LIW to married with no actual enagement in between! Which is what you want on some levels, but.....not so on others.

I love that he went to the other room and got the ring out of the micro--thinking he was all stealth, having no idea you knew!! Wow. This is huge progress and communication, no matter WHICH way you go. Very tough call.

You said: "Just wait to do it ''the right way'' once. Sigh, I''m just a girl who wants it all." and that makes me wonder if that''s your answer right there--that you really want to do it ONCE. Maybe a pared down, smaller thing on Sep. 24th, as the ONLY wedding, would be OK--provided you GET ENGAGED like, girl soon! How funny that he has waited so long and now--might do it so quickly. The house thing and a wedding don''t have to be mutually exclusive. This is a toughy!

What is the latest? Crossing my fingers for you, girl!!!!!

 

[wcitygirl]

Erin,

This is really tough. (But, how thrilling that you were [THIS] close!! EEk!) What about putting less down on the house? There are so many mortgage companies who are DYING for some business right now . (Although, sometimes if you don''t put the 20% down, you may have a punitive interest rate....) I had one mortgage guy offer to "hold" $5K in an acct in my name for a few mos. so that I could be approved for a mortgage sooner and with a reasonable interest rate. That''s how much they want to "help" you. What about researching some different financing options for buying a house? Is that a possibility for you? (Although, be really careful, there are a lot of people out there who are up to no good too.) Maybe you two could get into a house sooner and so you would at least not be paying rent all the time.

Just a thought...?

 

[Blue824]

WOW, that''s a lot ot have sprung on you in such short notice!!! I cannot imagine what is going through your mind.

I don''t think your selfish to ''want it all'' for wanting the wedding you''ve been dreaming about & planning. That''s natural, its something you''ve looked forward to for so long! I mean, ultimately, if I had to choose I''d get the house and the quickie marriage, but for me, this is something I''ve looked forward to for SO long that I''d miss not having more. And while right now ''more'' could be just having my closest friends and families for something more intimate and way toned down. There are so many options. Obviously that was just sprung on you so I can''t imagine what is going through your mind!!! But I wouldn''t rush into a decision. Share all the different thoughts and options with him, talk about timelines, budgets for the different things...you never know what might be possible.

Good luck, Erin!

 

[blueroses]

Erin, thinking of you with this momentous possible decision....keep us posted! Just had to post again b/c I saw a thread over in Rockytalky that made me think of you.....about princess cuts set the way yours is:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/princess-setting-turned-45-degrees.6766/

Can''t wait until yours is on your finger!!

 

[Erin]

Wow Blueroses - Thanks!

Finding pics of princesses ''starset'' has been next to impossible. I really appreciate you thinking of me.

Since the bf is gone and I charged the cam last Sat for the reception site - I''m now tempted to post a pic of mine. Would that be bad karma?

 

[blueroses]

Hmmmmmm, oh, the temptation!!!! I''m not one to ask b/c I''m a big old peeker. Maybe some of the other in-the-house girls would have better advice!

I mean, I don''t *think* it''s bad karma b/c you KNOW that you''re going to get it--it''s not an IF, it''s a WHEN.

Ok, now I''m being the devil on your shoulder: maybe if you go and peek and get that baby on your finger again, that will actually help with this new decision, and you''ll just want to wear it sooner rather than later so you''ll go ahead and do the city hall wedding and then the bigger one in Sep? Just being VERY BAD devil''s advocate

But you''re right, I''d never seen that star-set look before, I''d only pictured it--you are more than welcome

.
It is going to be SO PRETTY!!!!!

 

[jenwill]

Ok, BlueRoses, gotta say that I laugh every time I see your avater. Just as Blue824''s name made me think of football (blue 824, blue824, hut, hut, hike!) your avatar makes me think of patrick swayze and a blue poodle howling at the moon and singing...Am I bluuuuuuuueeeee, am I bluuuueeeeeee.... (full lyrics here)

 

[blueroses]

Teehee. Ok, now I''m laughing too b/c it really does look like Swayze is howling at the moon!!! Am I bluuuuuuueeeeee?

Thanks to Lovey--this is such a great avatar!!! LOL