Most hated wedding related comment. What''s yours?!

mimzy · Aug 20, 2008

for a while the most annoying ones definitely came from FFIL, as his only mention of the wedding was only ever
"you two are making a mistake"
"you still have time to back out"
"don''t worry about me, i won''t be there"
and the ever favorite "you two aren''t really doing this".

FI eventually had to talk to him because i was about close to letting out my inner greek on him.

my sister also laid a pretty good one on me a couple weeks before she got engaged. we were talking about her future wedding and she was telling me some details and she said "all i know is that it is going to blow everyone else''s wedding out of the water.....wait, except for james'' and lisa''s" (my stepbrother who had an unbelievable wedding last summer). all i could do was laugh and roll my eyes.....

(like, are you for real? did you seriously just say that? five minutes we were talking about my wedding details? really?)

lately the worst is "well, i just want it to look nice" primarily coming from my dad and stepmom. I''m DIY''ing pretty much everything - all the stationary, flowers, centerpieces, etc and they take every opportunity to make sure i know that they are concerned about everything. like i DON''T want it to look nice? sorry it''s not professional, but if you want to uninvite 20 of your friends i could probably make room in the budget to spring for something a little nicer!

argh!

emilina22 · Aug 20, 2008

people would ask..."whens the wedding?...

i would respond..."next summer"

they would respond...."NEXT SUMMER!!! isnt that a little long to wait, everyones getting married now....

and i say..."well i still have 2 semesters till i graduate, and i really want to finish undergrad first, plus M''s in school too...we''re in no rush..."

many people then either give the eye roll....or ask what undergrad means....or just simply turn around and walk away....

i have also gotten many "so are you jealous, giggle giggle...beasue two of M''s brothers BEAT you guys to it"

and i respond..."no im happy for them....sure the two other engagments are fast but if their in love there is nothing for me to be jealous about...."

since when did getting married become such a race??

and of course the infamous..."you guys are young"

anchor31 · Aug 20, 2008

I''ve had quite a few annoying comments, but this one tops them all. "So and so had a backyard BYOB potluck and her mom made her dress, they didn''t have flowers, etc, etc." Good for her, but us paying a bit more than she did so we could have what we wanted doesn''t make us materialistic. I''ve had people tell me I could charge my guests to save money and stuff. EURGH. In the end, they were very happy to indulge in our open bar.

Others I''ve had:
- You''re too young. (I admit I don''t look my age, but it''s still rude)
- Don''t you want to travel/buy a house first? (what stops me from doing it after?)
- Don''t you think it''s just a waste of money? (if I did, I wouldn''t be getting married)
- When are you going to start tried for kids? Don''t wait too long now, the clock is ticking! (I''m 23, give me a break)

The list goes on and on... Some people are just rude and clueless.

tberube · Aug 20, 2008

"I just went to a wedding at your venue. The food tasted like a microwave dinner and I hated it." This was from a friend who was jealous that I was getting married before her. Since then I''ve heard nothing but raving good words from people about my venue.

"You really shouldn''t be wearing white, since you''ve been living with your boyfriend for years. White is supposed to be virginal." This from the aunt who is paying for my wedding gown - she''s like a mother to me. Thanks, auntie.

Sarah@GOG · Aug 23, 2008

Exactly!

diamondfan · Aug 23, 2008

I had black bm dresses, I did a black and white wedding. This was 18 years ago.

I also had people say, Why are you getting married there? It is so expensive". Well, from when I was little it was my dream place, and so that is what I did. It was in L.A., so all the local people could get there easily. I was thinking, Where SHOULD I get married? The main issue came from my in laws to be as the place could hold MAX 200 people and that was a tight fit, and my father in law to be thought HE could have hundreds. Seriously. His list, which he handed to my fiance had 300 plus names on it. He nearly bleed out of his eyes when we told him that INCLUDING him and my mother in law to be, they could have 100 people. And that included their daughter, and my fiance. After the wedding, though, since it was a lovely venue and elegant etc, they bragged about the venue to all of their friends. My wedding was more about their showing off and their thoughts on things than about us.

gwendolyn · Aug 23, 2008

Aye, the planning is done and they got married just a couple of weeks ago (I didn''t go since I''m here in England still). Apparently my aunt (the mother of the bride) hounded my mom a bit with questions about my wedding (um, I''m still not engaged!) because she was STILL worried that I might upstage her darling daughter. This was on her daughter''s wedding day! You''d think she''d have better things to be doing, wouldn''t you? The wedding was referred to as ''The Coronation of Princess Michelle'' by her father (and a few others); her dad kept moaning to my dad about how much everything cost. I could totally feel the love from the other side of the Atlantic.

Nocturnius · Aug 23, 2008

Oooooh, I had a few.

"Well it's YOUR wedding, so do what makes YOU happy."

NO. That isn't what I want to hear. I want you to think my choices are as pretty as I do. And I want you to tell me if they aren't. Don't powder my tushie and feed me some nonsense about how, "oh, it doesn't matter as long as it's what you want...." It DOES matter because part of a wedding is appeasing your guests and making sure THEY'RE happy, too.

And then one from my mom....

"Well THAT isn't traditional!"

She said this about everything: hors d'oeuvres reception? Lunacy! Tradition says sit-down dinner! Not having a religious ceremony? GASP! How untraditional! Writing your own vows?! You're supposed to use traditional vows! Having a CHOCOLATE wedding cake?!! Well, you might as well, nothing ELSE in this wedding is traditional!

In the end, everyone loved the hors d'oeuvres reception, they loved our reverend AND his beautiful non-religious ceremony, they LOVED our vows more than ANYTHING (even the reverend! He asked for a copy of them!) And we went with a three-tered wedding cake, with the bottom and top tiers chocolate cake and the middle tier white cake... and NO ONE ate the white cake. Everyone wanted the UNTRADITIONAL chocolate. So there.

"You can't have a NICE wedding for your budget."

Oh you don't think so? Try me. $4000, watch me go. What made me mad about this was not necessarily the comment, it was the assumptions behind it. People were assuming I wanted some 120-person wedding at a five-star resort with a full sit-down meal on a popular Saturday night and was trying to get it for $4000. Obviously that's moronic to even think of, because it won't happen. Instead, I found a nice, unique and intimate venue, had a "whopping" 20 people (not including the bridal party), hosted an hors d'oeuvres reception and had it on a Wednesday night. So the lesson here is, don't make assumptions!

doxielover · Aug 23, 2008

Backround: My DH and I have been together for 12 years. We got engaged in Dec 06. In March of this year we found out I was pregnant. Two weeks later we were married. About two weeks after that I had a miscarriage. Now the comment...

So I guess you got married for nothing.

WTF?

NoID · Aug 23, 2008

Wow - I didn''t read every page but a lot of you gals had a lot of weird comments made to you! The things people say...

For us, it was comments like "finally!" because we''ve been together for a while. A few other people mentioned weird things, like "oh, you should''ve had the ceremony on the beach" (we had it by the pool) or other things we should have done. I just thought it was weird to say it after the fact...sounded like criticizing (even though I''m sure they didn''t mean it that way). Or did they.

iluvcarats · Aug 23, 2008

OMG! WTF!
Some people.....

princesss · Aug 23, 2008

Punch them in the face.

Linda W · Aug 23, 2008

That is the most horrible comment I think I have ever heard. I do hope whoever said it, is not really a friend of yours!!!!

allycat0303 · Aug 23, 2008

Some of his hockey buddies look at him (in front of me) and say "You''re going to regret it when you''re paying alimony"

Hmm...ok. I admit, if we get divorced in the next 6 years then that would be an issue, since I will be a resident, but after that.....We''ve also been together for 14 years, so I feel like it''s solid.

mjso · Aug 23, 2008

The thing that annoys me the most is people commenting on how much we''re spending. Or the fact that we are inviting around 200 people.

I feel like people just assume we are wasting money and how could we possibly know that many people who we actually want there.

I have nothing against small intimate weddings if that is what you want, but I feel like because I want to have more people there people judge my wedding as somewhat less classy or special. It can''t be special because both of us have large families? (our parents average 4/5 sibilings each) or because we have a lot of friends from the 4 different states we have lived in?

Seems like no one is ever happy from this thread. Either you aren''t spending enough or you are spending too much. You''re inviting too many people so it isn''t special anymore or you aren''t inviting people who "should" be invited. Ugh!

honey22 · Aug 23, 2008

I have no words for this, I am at a loss, doxielover. I am so sorry you had to hear such disgusting hurtful comments. Some people really shouldn''t open their mouths fullstop.

SarahLovesJS · Aug 24, 2008

mjso I concur..from the older generations we''ve had a lot of.."That''s too expensive. Don''t pay that." About things..but um, that''s how much things cost now. Oh well. I just try not to discuss it with them.

doxielover: That is absolutely horrid that people say that to you!

I am so sorry. ((Hugs))

meresal · Sep 17, 2008

I have a new one... "Ohh no, you CAN''T do/use (THAT/THEM). You just HAVE to do/use (THIS/THEM)!"

Family friends of FI''s parents were over at his parents house the other night when we didn''t have electricity. The wife is known to be a "drinker" and can be very loud. She had been drinking quite a bit, and she asked about where the wedding is going to be, and I replied, "It will be in Fort Worth, where I am from." and she replied... "ohh no, you HAVE to have it in Dallas. It''s so much better". Then proceedes to ask FI where the RD is going to be, and he said he wanted to have it at a steak place and that we are looking at a very famous one in fort worth, and she says, "Ohh no, you CAN''T have a dinner like that in Fort Worth, there are MUCH better places in Dallas."

I mean really?!?! I have only met this woman twice and she is already planning my wedding?!?!

Ohh, she also "suggested" that I must get a wedding planner and be sure to make sure it''s a gay guy, because she just loves gay guys. WTF??? Some people should be videotaped when they are drinking and then shown the tape when they are sober.

I laughed it off because it is just "her" being, well, "her"... but it irks me when I think about it. She''s going to be bombed at my wedding and lord knows what she''s going to say or do

there.

galvana · Sep 17, 2008

Why are you going to spend all that money on the wedding when you can use it for your future, a house, savings, etc?
Its just a waste for ONE day.

ughhhhhhhhh

and then my fiance''s sister. when i asked her to be a bridesmaid

Oh well i guess i will, IF that is what you really want ..............its your wedding so if that is what you want then that is what i''ll do.

WTF - forget it then! LOL

SparkleSparkle · Sep 21, 2008

My best friend in high school ended up marrying one of my junior high boyfriends. The reason we broke up was because his mom convinced him I was bad for him (keep in mind this was 7th grade, good grief!).

So on to the wedding. I was the MOH, and 7 months pregnant. The best man and I had a job to do - keep the MOG (who was evil when they started dating but had become a total terror since they got engaged) away from the bride and her mother. She had been rude before the wedding, critizing everything and making snide comments about my friend in general.

Well, it definitely escalated at the wedding. She walked up to every table one by one and announced to anyone listening that either "this is a horrible day," "I can''t believe this is happening - he''s such a good boy," "she''s not good enough for him," etc. Then she comes to the table where my husband and my parents were sitting together. She walked up to my mother and told her that it should have been me up there with her son

, then glared at my husband like he ruined everything. She hadn''t seen my parents in 8-9 years and had never even met my husband!

The B&G had a video camera set up for people to leave them well wishes. The MOG sat in front of the camera, looked right into it, and told her DIL she should rot in hell

. They''ve been married 20 years now, and that woman is still a nightmare to this day.

sassylt · Sep 21, 2008

I got married about 3 years ago, but I still remember the random, silly comments people made. My fav was, "I can''t believe you would spend so much money for a dress you are only going to wear one day." For me, the fact that my wedding day was only "one day" was kind of the point....it was, up to that point, the MOST important "one day" of my life! I have never felt more gorgeous....I tried on more expensive, and less expensive dresses....NONE of them made me feel the way my dress did

Rhea · Sep 21, 2008

Wow! There are no words.

Diva0413 · Sep 21, 2008

Uh-oh... Sounds so familiar. I just started the planning process and dragged my mother (aka, "The Wallet"), with me. Now, some back story... I''m the only child AND grandchild, so my mother and grandparents are very adamant to spend whatever it takes to make it spectacular. Unfortunately, everyone else (like my step-father and even some of my FI''s family), are CONSTANTLY saying that I need to scale back. My step-father even had the nerve to tell me he can''t "condone" spending so much. What exactly does that mean if he''s not contributing anyway? And last I checked, I live in NYC... There''s no such thing as scaling back.

Diva0413 · Sep 21, 2008

Oh wait... I have a few more...

I''ve only been engaged for 3 weeks and have managed to be told twice that I''ve stolen other people''s thunder. One of them being my fiance''s sister because she got engaged to a NBA basketball player (which by the way, no one has ever met!!!) and she wanted to announced her engagement in January. WTH?!?!?! Who''s fault is that?

Then, on top of selfish rant, she told me that I HAVE to make her one of the bridesmaids. It''s tradition...

Babyblue033 · Sep 21, 2008

Reading this thread me glad we''re eloping without letting anyone know

I''m sure I''ll get an EARFUL afterwards though...

So I didn''t have to endure too many comments since most people don''t know that we''re getting married this December, but I do have a few favorites.

The day we got engaged we went out with a bunch of FI''s friends that night to celebrate. One of his friends just got married a few weeks back, groom''s a very good friend of FI but I''m not that close to his wife or anything. So I thought it was quite funny when she got all excited and offered to PLAN MY ENTIRE WEDDING!

She told me she''s learned so much from her own wedding and can help me with everything, mind you we JUST got engaged and at the time weren''t planning on getting married for about 2 years.

Only other thing I heard so far was from my boss who knows we''re eloping, "So what are you wearing for your wedding?"

Well I was thinking a bikini top and a pink hot pants!

Blair138 · Sep 21, 2008

OMG I love this thread-some of these are so ridiculous I WOULD be punching the originator in the face

Here are some of mine:

FI''s mom keeps asking if we are having family photos after the ceremony (yes, for the 11 MILLIONTH time, I want them and everyone will be included even though the rest of your family doesn''t do it this way, I want it this way) and then she will say "am I invited to be in them too?" It started as a joke and now it''s just making me upset...

People at work , ANYTIME I tell them about wedding stuff, ''oh well MY daughter is having/had this..." Thanks for the input, your daughter has different taste than me, she can do what she wanted and it''s my wedding I will do what I WANT!

one of my BM keeps telling me I can''t have these shoes because they are too high, I need to wait 3 years after I get married before we have kids, We shouldn''t move out of the townhouse right away because a house is too much work...WTF??? She''s my cousin and I love her, but I DO NOT HAVE TO PLAN MY LIFE THE WAY YOU DID!!

Sometimes I want to bang my head on the wall, I have vowed to stop sharing details but it is so hard when that''s all people want to know sometimes...

Harleigh · Sep 21, 2008

These are just too funny...thanks for the chuckles, ladies!

Before the wedding, mine were the usual "Are you getting excited???" No, I''m down in the dumps about spending the rest of my life with the man I plan to marry...what the heck do you think?

"Why would you want to get married in Maui?" Said by my mother who constantly complained about having a DW in Maui, ragged on my dad about it, who in turn felt the need to blast me about it. "Why would you want to get married in Maui? It''s SO inconvenient for everyone." and "Well, none of MY family will come unless you get married here in California, so you''re not making it possible for them to come for a visit." Could they not come to Maui for a visit??? Maui''s not that far off the beaten path from CA when all of the 4 people left on her side of the family would be coming from Wisconsin and Florida for goodness sakes! (Turns out none of them would have made it anyways...they were on a cruise to Greece and wherever else during both the wedding AND reception, so I guess it''s their loss, right?)

"I didn''t know you''d gotten married!" She was also so unhappy about it, I guess, she apparently did tell her friends I was engaged last year but never told them I got married in July. I am throwing a surprise 40th anniversary party for them in October, and all of her friends were stunned that they #1 didn''t know I''d gotten married, let alone in Maui, and #2 that they hadn''t been invited to the reception in August because my mom said they would all just see it as a plea for a gift or money...I mean, come on! I''ve known these ladies for almost 25 years...give me a cotton-pickin'' break! Many of them said they knew my cat had died, which was at the end of November, after the wedding invites had gone out, and that the last real get-together they had was in January...apparently my mom didn''t say a word...did she think we''d change our minds and do it her way, even though we were paying for the whole thing ourselves??? Yikes...

My mom also complained and complained about having to find something to wear, heaven forbid, to her only daughter''s wedding, then finally chose two outfits that I purchased for her, the first of which did not fit, so I passed it along to my MIL with my mom''s blessing (or so I thought!) My mother THEN decided that hers was too dressy and/or hot for a Maui wedding and that it wasn''t FAIR that the gents got to wear flip-flops with their outfits...which of course she complained to my father about, who in turn felt the need to make me feel horrible about it. I told her to find anything in celery green or pale pink...so, of course she chose beige if that tells you how well THAT all went over!

So, now that we''re married, I get the "How''s married life?" and "How are the newlyweds doing?" along with, "So, when are you going to start popping out babies???"

Um, well, he''s 42, I''m 36...I''ve had a lot of medical issues related to my baby-making organs and more than likely cannot even HAVE children, and if I tried to, I would more than likely be a high-risk pregnancy which could make life pretty miserable for my new hubby and myself, which to me does not bode well for the newly-married!

Everyone seems to think that you MUST have children, and since we are older, we''d best get right on it right away as time''s a-wastin''!

When they ask rude questions like that, I just tell them I''m happy with the 20 rugrats I have at school every day and my 1 big kid I come home to every night! That usually shuts them up...at least long enough for me to get away!

Harleigh · Sep 21, 2008

That has GOT to be one of the worst things I have ever heard...I am so sorry doxie! People can be so heartless sometimes...

meresal · Jan 2, 2009

I have a new one...FMIL strikes again, and not surprisingly, it happened on FI's "last" family trip.

"Well, you better not have a baby right away." Umm, ok stork police... my FI is usually extremely calm and even this one sent him off the radar.

She also brought up the , "Last trip with just the 5 of us. From now on there will be 6." I told my mom about this, and her whitty comment was, "Has she even thought about the vacations where there will only be 4???" I love my mom

There have got to be some new ones... this thread has been closed since September!! C'mon ladies

Mediterranean · Jan 2, 2009

YES! AS a matter of fact, I got my first zinger on New years Eve! From a friend who, upon hearing about my engagement, said "Oh, FIIIINAAAALLYYYYY, It''s about TIME you''re getting married!!! I was beginning to WONDER about you!"

Wonder, what, exactly, my dear? Whether there is an explosive device wired to my insides that goes off when I turn 35, if I''m still not married by then? Maybe you shouldn''t be standing so close, then...

Most hated wedding related comment. What''s yours?!

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