Most hated wedding related comment. What''s yours?!

[doodle]

Date: 8/16/2008 11:34:06 PM
Author: cellososweet
we were renewing our vows and had been married for a year, so it''s a little different, but still:


Guest: ''Oh my gosh! You look so beautiful! When are you guys going to have kids?''

Me (cocktail in hand. take a gulp. hold it up) ''not tonight!''



Geez, give me a freakin'' minute. I just had my ''wedding'' 30 minutes ago.


Worst part? I had over 10 out 100 people ask me this!

hahaha, good answer! my general response to stupid questions like that is "tomorrow at 4:30." with a totally serious facial expression...+ 50 if i have a drink in my hand.

 

[lucy love]

Date: 8/16/2008 5:19:37 PM
Author: Sarah@GOG
i love reading this thread.


The case with me is that we got engaged Feb 18th 2008 and got married June 21 2008. Why? because when you meet the one you just know it and there is no point waisting time considering how short this life really is.


Anyway. All i heard within that 4 month period was ''Too soon for me!'' ''Don''t you think that''s too soon?'' ''Oh, you should wait longer'' ''wowwww you''re so young!'' ''wowwww that''s fast!''


HELLO isn''t the purpose of getting engaged to eventually get married?!?!!?


NOW the annoying thing that me and my husband can not STAND is when people say


''So hows married life?''

We say: ''loving it/ its amazing/ the best thing that could ever happen to me'' and yes we both mean it because we are just that type of couple who are more like best friends.


The usual response ''yea talk to me in 10 years/yea thats what they all say in the beginning/oh just wait it will fade away''

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and yes i would agree that that is the case with the majority of married couples. But there are many reasons why that is so not us. but besides that.. it''s like you see that we are so happy, why do you have to say something like that?

I totally agree with everything you said! I got married 3 months ago at 22 years old... definitely had my share of "you''re so young!" comments... as well as the "So how''s married life?".... HATED hearing that 10 times a day. I almost wanted to reply with, "The sex is great! Thanks for asking." at some point to throw them off. LOL

But seriously, isn''t there any other question to ask a newly married couple? Like...

"How''s the organization in the house coming along?"
"Are you getting a chance to use all your gifts?"
"Did you get your name changes done yet?"

 

[meresal]

I'm sorry ladies, but these are classic... Even FI has laughed/rolled eye/dropped his jaw at a few of them!!

And lucy love, I'll apologize for all of those that have siad "So, how's married life." I have said this before, and once it was it only because I was trapped in an elevator with a co-worker that I knew just got married. Didn't know what else to say. LOL, my bad. Thank you for the other options, I will use those!!

 

[jacklyn0418]

Oh man, I am going though all this same stuff, and I have not even been engaged a month.

My mom started saying weird things about the wedding, for example, when I said I may not be able to invite her 8 friends that I never even met, she got upset and asked if she would even be invited! I was really hurt that she would think I wouldn''t invite her to my wedding.

Weddings cost like $80-100 a guest, and I just graduated college, my fiance and I have student loans and we haven''t asked for any money for the wedding, so I was really hurt when my mom acted like she was being left out because her friends might not get an invite. She isn''t getting that this is about our two families joining together and celebrating us as a couple. Also, after all that she was like, well you guys have a big fancy wedding if you want, I dont care.

I am only 23 and I am not one of those girls who has been planning her wedding since birth so my dream wedding, is marrying the guy of my dreams (which I am) and all my family there to support me, and of course looking great in my dress. Beyond that I have no expectations, so my main goal is trying feed and entertain all these people without breaking the bank. We think that alot of the family will not come, because of travel, but we still have to make sure we can afford it, if they do come.


We have close to a 100 people we have to invite, ALL FAMILY and maybe 15 of our close friends! I can''t afford $800 for people I have never met to come to my wedding! Plus, its my wedding day I want my mom''s attention on me and my fiance and not her friends who won''t know anyone at the wedding! Why can''t she be happy getting together with family? She is acting like its her wedding and no one will be sitting on her side of the church because only her brother is coming from her family, but its my wedding and I have 20 pleople from the dads side, my mom and her brother and his wife, and those 15 close friends are friends of me and my fiance! Plus I know every single one of the family members being invited from my fiance''s side and my mother knows most of them too, and they get along fine.

I just don''t understand how people can be so rude as to think they know what you should do for your wedding. Unless they are like loaded and paying for it all (now I would love that!, then I could focus on the fun things like, hair and dress, and my fiance!) Even then though, would you really wan''t to spend tons of money for one day!!!

I feel all of ya''lls pain, and am so glad I am not the only one.

 

[jacklyn0418]

I couldn''t agree more, except maybe you should let your fiance in on it a lil too

 

[trillionaire]

oops... I always ask people how''s married life. Will try to remember not to ask!

The funny thing is, I like to hear what people say for the very reasons that other people have expressed before. Married people always try to "convert" non-marrieds to "marrieds". They tell you how WONDERFUL it is to be married, and that you should hurry up and marry too! Then were you get married, they sit around and gripe about married life. It''s like a big secret or something! Like, the joke is on all of us who are dying to get married, and all of the married people are in on it.

So I ask people how married life is, and they tell me something pleasant. And I turn to SO and say, "lies, all lies. They are just going for the conversion!"

Do you think the marrieds get points for conversions?

 

[meresal]

I''ve got a new one, and I can already tell I''m going to be getting ALOT of it from the H-twon area... We were at a birthday party last night, and some people asked if we had decided where and when, and surprisingly the ones of C''s friends I thought would put up a fight, were excited.

It was the not-so-friend-friend that will be invited becuase he hangs out with everyone else, that said...

"Why the Hell would you have it THERE? What about gas prices?"

Umm, beacuse it''s my home town, and the church I grew up in?!?! Not ok with you??? I don''t care,

Don''t come. It''s only a trip from Houston to Fort Worth. Then this is where it went from there...

H: "It''s going to be hard missing work. Everyone is getting married."
Me: "Everyone? Like who?"
H: "Well Ashby is."
Me: "That''s in 2 months. Which is 2008."
H: "Ya, but I already had all my vacation planned out."
Me: "??? Our wedding is in 2009???"
H: "Well ya."

I mean. Why are some people just so negative?!?!

We may have to set up charter buses, and have everyone pay their own seat just to drive a measly 4 hours.

 

[meresal]

Date: 8/17/2008 9:13:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
oops... I always ask people how's married life. Will try to remember not to ask!

The funny thing is, I like to hear what people say for the very reasons that other people have expressed before. Married people always try to 'convert' non-marrieds to 'marrieds'. They tell you how WONDERFUL it is to be married, and that you should hurry up and marry too! Then were you get married, they sit around and gripe about married life. It's like a big secret or something! Like, the joke is on all of us who are dying to get married, and all of the married people are in on it.

So I ask people how married life is, and they tell me something pleasant. And I turn to SO and say, 'lies, all lies. They are just going for the conversion!'

Do you think the marrieds get points for conversions?

One of my old roomates (very intoxicated) told another of our roomates and her fiance, at their engagement party, that getting married is the worst decision she ever made!!

And they shouldn't do it, because it would ruin their relationship!!

This happened last Nov. The girls are mending their friendship as of recent, but the DH that used to be the FI, will not talk to her to this day.

 

[luvbug]

This is a fun thread...although I can''t believe some of the things that come out of people''s mouths.

I got engaged last month and went to Italy two weeks later on vacation and to visit FI''s family. It thought it would be really romantic and everyone would be excited for us + we were hoping to have the wedding there so we were looking at venues etc. Well turns out most of his family isn''t exactly happily married so there were a lot of "What are you crazy?!?" and "all respect goes out the window when you marry" we even got one “this is a disaster.” We were on the coast away from the city so there was almost no one who spoke English, but I understood some of these with my baby Italian level of understanding.
Then a few days before we left one aunt said to FI “I think it’s better when you come alone, maybe next year you come by yourself” Whaaaaaat!? We were thinking of getting married there next year! Luckily FMIL got in on this one and gave that aunt a piece of her mind. Obviously, we’re looking to get married in the states now.

 

[CrownJewel]

1. "well, according to the rules of etiquette you must..." (totally agree with you ladies on this one)
2. from random acquaintances "oh my gosh when''s the wedding? i can''t wait to go! am i invited?" (so hard to answer this one!)
3. when FI''s parents went to visit the venue for the first time, FFIL said "well, this is not a top tier place, but it''ll do." (he usually only makes a comment if he''s impressed with other people''s jobs/degrees/homes being top notch. FI agrees his dad needs a verbal filter sometimes).


and my own parents have said their share of horrible comments but that''s more of a personal vent.

 

[parrot tulips]

I''m still currently a LIW, but a friend of mine (who''s getting married in 2 weeks) keeps asking me, "well, hypothetically, when you get engaged..." So I mentioned in passing that while I''m not set on it, since the boyfriend is sober, I might consider having a daytime/brunch reception, and keeping it dry. I''m not a big drinker myself, and neither is most of my family. Well, she was LIVID. She actually started raising her voice at me, face getting all red, asking me how dare I do such a horrible, inconsiderate thing to my guests. Now this was just a fleeting thought/idea, nothing I''m set on (since the boyfriend could care less), but I was pretty shocked that she had such a strong reaction.

 

[ladyciel]

Many of these sound all too familiar, but the one that''s driving me NUTS lately is "Wow, the wedding is really soon, huh? Like 4 weeks? You must have pretty much everything done, right?"

Just what I need - more reminders of how much is left to do!

 

[julesbeth]

Rockzilla!! I TOTALLY agree with you! It''s just not easy to have a wedding anywhere, and people who haven''t planned them just don''t understand.

My dear friend and bridesmaid just said to me ''When I get married, I''m not going to be typical, I just don''t see myself having a wedding at like, a hotel, or anything like that. It''s just not me''

We''ll my dear friend - I AM having my wedding at a hotel - it wasn''t exactly what I had in mind - but its working and its going to be beautiful. I was somewhat blown away by the insensitivity of the comment... Just wait and see, seriously!

 

[julabean]

I have two.

The first was from DH''s step-mother when we brought up Las Vegas: "Are you sure you just don''t want to do it in the backyard?"

The second was from DH''s grandmother after the wedding (she didn''t attend): "So you really think this is going to work out, do you?"

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 8/16/2008 11:43:55 PM
Author: doodle

Date: 8/16/2008 11:34:06 PM

Author: cellososweet

we were renewing our vows and had been married for a year, so it''s a little different, but still:



Guest: ''Oh my gosh! You look so beautiful! When are you guys going to have kids?''


Me (cocktail in hand. take a gulp. hold it up) ''not tonight!''




Geez, give me a freakin'' minute. I just had my ''wedding'' 30 minutes ago.



Worst part? I had over 10 out 100 people ask me this!

hahaha, good answer! my general response to stupid questions like that is ''tomorrow at 4:30.'' with a totally serious facial expression...+ 50 if i have a drink in my hand.

You should have said "9 months from tonight!" Then gave them a BIG WINK and a couple of elbows

 

[louisvgirl]

I got one that left me really disappointed and sad.

My cousin got married 2 years ago and had a baby with the guy. So at the wedding the groom and his groomsmen were in the restroom when the one of the groomsmen told him, "when you get home you give her one big good one (making a fist) and give it to her. This way she knows who''s boss.) My fiance was using the restroom when he said that, and they had no idea he was there! My cousin''s groom/husband was mortified his friend had said that to him, because they were all laughing. My fiance told me of course, and I was dumbfounded. What jerks!! They came over to our house 6 months later and her husband brought that up and how his friend was joking. Whatever. He has stupid friends. Needless to say, he is a jerk and treats my cousin like dirt. I feel so sorry for her, because I know that she feels she''s stuck for her baby''s sake.

I have one more.
I''m having a destination wedding and my mom said to me while wedding dress shopping for the first time, "why spend all that money, when you''re going to wear the dress for 5 minutes!" NICE!!

 

[musey]

Date: 8/16/2008 6:47:26 PM
Author: WishfulThinking

Date: 8/16/2008 6:11:16 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
'You're so young...' I personally consider it pretty rude.

I agree, Sarah. It makes me feel like people think we're stupid and impulsive when we're not.

Yes, this one is massively annoying. I've gotten it from pretty much every wedding vendor, but it's almost always phrased as "But you look WAY too young to be getting married"

My mother told me that it's a compliment. Uhhh...??

Funny, apparently none of our friends or family seem to think we're too young, since the only people who've made those comments have been wedding vendors. Seriously.

I also truly hate the "When are you guys having kids?" question, and I find it ironic that this is the other most common comment/question we get, since I apparently seem "way too young to get married" according to strangers, but ready to procreate according to friends and family?

At first I'd say "Oh, I don't know..." but now I always say "When I'm 30, we can talk."

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 8/18/2008 11:35:57 PM
Author: musey

Date: 8/16/2008 6:47:26 PM

Author: WishfulThinking

Date: 8/16/2008 6:11:16 PM

Author: SarahLovesJS

''You''re so young...'' I personally consider it pretty rude.

I agree, Sarah. It makes me feel like people think we''re stupid and impulsive when we''re not.

Yes, this one is massively annoying. I''ve gotten it from pretty much every wedding vendor, but it''s almost always phrased as ''But you look WAY too young to be getting married''

My mother told me that it''s a compliment. Uhhh...??


Funny, apparently none of our friends or family seem to think we''re too young, since the only people who''ve made those comments have been wedding vendors. Seriously.


I also truly hate the ''When are you guys having kids?'' question, and I find it ironic that this is the other most common comment/question we get, since I apparently seem ''way too young to get married'' according to strangers, but ready to procreate according to friends and family?


At first I''d say ''Oh, I don''t know...'' but now I always say ''When I''m 30, we can talk.''

I haven''t really gotten it too too much from vendors (been lucky in that regard I guess)..but haha to be honest with you I''ve gotten it the most on PS!

I don''t like when people try to stereotype me or put me down for not being 35 when I am getting married. Not that I''ve had many people personally point out me, it''s more people who stereotype all "young" people, etc. It can get pretty rude. But anyway, I try not to pass judgment on others (I''m not perfect, but I try), so it''s always nice when people do the same for me. *sigh*

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I got this one last week...

"You know how much crap C coulda bought for that [diamond]?"

Oh and "when are you having babies?"

and

"How many days now? "(Coworker asks EVERYDAY). PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR if you are that concerned about it....

 

[meresal]

Ohh man, did I get some good ones on the phone with my dad last night...

This all pertains to why my mom isn't talking to me, after only 3 weeks of being engaged:

"She was expecting this time around to be a vacation." (I'm the youngest of 4 sisters, all married... I'm sorry, I was under the impression that this was MY wedding and I get afforded the same options as they did.)

"She's worried about the stress of dealing with your grandmother's staying here. She just needs time to prepare." (WTH?!?!? The wedding won't be for 12 months!!!)

"Just don't push the issue and wait for her to be ok with it." (WHEN did my wedding become an ISSUE?!?!)

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 8/19/2008 9:42:31 AM
Author: iwannaprettyone
I got this one last week...

''You know how much crap C coulda bought for that [diamond]?''

Oh and ''when are you having babies?''

and

''How many days now? ''(Coworker asks EVERYDAY). PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR if you are that concerned about it....

The “when are you having babies?” is part of a woman’s life.
When are you getting a boyfriend?
When are you getting engaged?
When’s the wedding?
When are you having babies?
When are you having baby #2?

 

[ladyciel]

Date: 8/19/2008 10:31:02 AM
Author: fieryred33143

Date: 8/19/2008 9:42:31 AM

Author: iwannaprettyone

I got this one last week...


'You know how much crap C coulda bought for that [diamond]?'


Oh and 'when are you having babies?'


and


'How many days now? '(Coworker asks EVERYDAY). PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR if you are that concerned about it....

The “when are you having babies?” is part of a woman’s life.

When are you getting a boyfriend?

When are you getting engaged?

When’s the wedding?

When are you having babies?

When are you having baby #2?

Don't forget "So what will you do with yourself when the nest is empty?" and "When are you going to have grandchildren?"

 

[aprilcait]

Most hated comment was: "Oh" accompanied by this face:

As in...

Mom: "So have you registered for crystal yet?"
Me: "We''re not registering for crystal. I''m a bit clumsy to have that around. Haha!"
Mom: "Oh."

Or

Sister/BM: "So what are you and FI hoping for for the bachelor/bachelorette party?"
Me: "Something kind of simple... maybe do a little bar hop or something. Nothing big."
Sister/BM: "Oh."

 

[sklingem]

"Mom: "So have you registered for crystal yet?"
Me: "We''re not registering for crystal. I''m a bit clumsy to have that around. Haha!"
Mom: "Oh."

LOL - you should have said: "But mom, don''t you know that crystal meth is REALLY bad for your health?? Not for me. "

 

[fieryred33143]

My favorite conversation so far happened with my best friend.

Setting: Having lunch day after I got engaged with my BF and a coworker (also a friend) beginning of this month.

Coworker: So!!! When do you start wedding planning??

Me: Well haven''t really thoug--
BF: WHAT?!?! YOU CANNOT PLAN ANYTHING YET!!!

Me: Why?

BF: Because my wedding isn''t over yet and you need to help me.
Me: Well your wedding is in November.
BF: I don''t know if it''ll be in November yet. I haven''t decided. It may be in March next year.
Me: So I would have to wait until after your wedding?
BF: Yes or maybe even later. I don''t see the big deal anyway. Had he not proposed you would help me plan so pretend he didn''t.

Yeah...ok

 

[doodle]

Date: 8/19/2008 10:57:22 AM
Author: fieryred33143
My favorite conversation so far happened with my best friend.


Setting: Having lunch day after I got engaged with my BF and a coworker (also a friend) beginning of this month.


Coworker: So!!! When do you start wedding planning??

Me: Well haven''t really thoug--

BF: WHAT?!?! YOU CANNOT PLAN ANYTHING YET!!!

Me: Why?

BF: Because my wedding isn''t over yet and you need to help me.

Me: Well your wedding is in November.

BF: I don''t know if it''ll be in November yet. I haven''t decided. It may be in March next year.

Me: So I would have to wait until after your wedding?

BF: Yes or maybe even later. I don''t see the big deal anyway. Had he not proposed you would help me plan so pretend he didn''t.

Yeah...ok

WOW. I would''ve hit her in the head with a copy of Brides magazine, but I''m feisty like that!

 

[ChinaCat]

This is too funny. Do people even think before they speak????

I was lucky in that I didn''t get too many comments when I was planning my wedding, but I was still amazed at how opinionated and personal people take things. My favorite was probably, "This is YOUR day, you should do whatever you want, it''s totally about YOU and your future husband" and then proceed to tell me exactly why what I wanted to do was a bad thing. ???? Why do people care? I wanted black bridesmaid dresses- and was told that I couldn''t. My response, why not? I had black dresses. Oh, and I wanted my bridesmaids to not have to stand the entire time, one because it was hot and I always hate having to stand the whole time and I can never see the bridge and groom, and two, because having a bunch of people standing up there is distracting (to me!). This really upset my sister- who btw, was my maid of honor, and would be standing up there with me- just her and the best man. She was like, that is so stupid, then what''s the point of even having bridesmaids if they aren''t going to stand? That''s the whole point. Umm, no, not for me. Anyways, they sat, facing us, it looked beautiful and they were much happier.

My other fave was "are you so excited?" Umm no, but now I am stressed that I am not excited. I am too busy to be excited yet. Day of, I was excited.

My attitude is who cares??? I did, however, respect my parents opinions when it came to things costing a certain amount. They were paying, and therefore they had control of the budget.

Oh, and another thing- sometimes people (usually my mom) had a very good reason for saying that something wasn''t a great idea. This is why I always asked why they thought I shouldn''t do something. A lot of times, I just hadn''t thought through the reality, or how things might affect other people. If there was a good reason behind it, then I took her advice. So it''s always good to consider why people are saying what they are saying.

Good or bad, you just have to understand that weddings bring out a lot of emotions in people, especially family. Just ignore them, and at least you have funny stories to share on PS!!!!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 8/19/2008 11:35:27 AM
Author: ChinaCat
This is too funny. Do people even think before they speak????

I was lucky in that I didn''t get too many comments when I was planning my wedding, but I was still amazed at how opinionated and personal people take things. My favorite was probably, ''This is YOUR day, you should do whatever you want, it''s totally about YOU and your future husband'' and then proceed to tell me exactly why what I wanted to do was a bad thing. ???? Why do people care? I wanted black bridesmaid dresses- and was told that I couldn''t. My response, why not? I had black dresses. Oh, and I wanted my bridesmaids to not have to stand the entire time, one because it was hot and I always hate having to stand the whole time and I can never see the bridge and groom, and two, because having a bunch of people standing up there is distracting (to me!). This really upset my sister- who btw, was my maid of honor, and would be standing up there with me- just her and the best man. She was like, that is so stupid, then what''s the point of even having bridesmaids if they aren''t going to stand? That''s the whole point. Umm, no, not for me. Anyways, they sat, facing us, it looked beautiful and they were much happier.

My other fave was ''are you so excited?'' Umm no, but now I am stressed that I am not excited. I am too busy to be excited yet. Day of, I was excited.

My attitude is who cares??? I did, however, respect my parents opinions when it came to things costing a certain amount. They were paying, and therefore they had control of the budget.

Oh, and another thing- sometimes people (usually my mom) had a very good reason for saying that something wasn''t a great idea. This is why I always asked why they thought I shouldn''t do something. A lot of times, I just hadn''t thought through the reality, or how things might affect other people. If there was a good reason behind it, then I took her advice. So it''s always good to consider why people are saying what they are saying.

Good or bad, you just have to understand that weddings bring out a lot of emotions in people, especially family. Just ignore them, and at least you have funny stories to share on PS!!!!

For the most part NO.

 

[amy_dub]

I''m tired of hearing these:

"Are you getting excited?"
Yes, I am excited but I would be more excited if this entire process wasn''t stressful


"You''re so young to get married"
I''m 22. We''ve dated 7 years. I''ve graduated high school and college. I''m not that young.

"Are you sure this is really what you want to do?"
No, but since i''m too short to join the WWE, i figured i''d just get married instead.

 

[supergirl10]

I have a few

1) (now that we are engaged) "how long have you been together" by people i don''t know well, what the damm hell does it matter how long we have been together. We have made a commitment to get marriend. When i say 4.5 years they say "oh oh well thats ok then" like im some scatty girl who just woke up and decided to get engaged!

2) This is from my mother (before we were engaged) "oh since you guys live together its really not necessary to have an engagement ring, i know a lot of couples who just have a really thick nice wedding band with diamonds" um what the hell. I have been dreaming of my engagement ring forever. Why would i not have an engagement ring? She thinks that because we live together that its not "traditional" and its not like a "normal proposal" grrrr

that use to make me soooo angry

Something along the lines of "why are you fussing on getting an engagement ring custom made, spending like 3k is like sooo much for an engagement ring," What the hell, if she knew what some people on PS paid for a ring she would die.
"You sisters engagement ring has one with a tiny diamond and she''s really happy your so materialistic". YYeh my sister FI just went out and bought her a ring which was totally not what she wanted, she bitched to me about it and that she wasn''t 100% happy with him just going and picking ring and IM THE MATERIALISTIC ONE.