Jeweler set the wrong stone—wants me to return ring.

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/26/2006 2:37:48 PM
Author: Galateia
The jewellery business spends a lot of marketing money promoting the idea that a diamond ring is not JUST a ring, and that sentimental value is priceless. I find it ironic that the sentimental value of this ring to his fiancee is being devalued.

HA! EXACTLY!

New slogan "A Diamond is Forever ... unless the jeweler makes a mistake in your favor ... then it''s quite temporary & what''s forever is your newly wrenched apart setting/fiance''s heart."

Not. As. Catchy.

As to the "does size matter" issue ... purely philosophically, it shouldn''t matter how big the error is. Practically, as in "how much of a jerk is the jeweler being", how reasonable is the request versus just eating the cost ... THEN the specifics matter.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

ok so here is my 2 cents- (and 2 different sides)

Side one-
Lets say someone inherited a stone, they sent that to your jeweler who was setting it for them. That stone has sentimental value to the person that inherited it. When you found out that stone in your ring was not the stone that you ordered and not the stone that was inherited wouldn't you want that stone back regueardless of what it was??

Side 2-
Being female, I can say that if my bf gave me my engagement ring and then less than a week later told me they made a mix up by giving me the wrong stone I would be utterly devistated. I would not want to give that ring back. That ring symbolizes something that cannot be replaced. A memory of a proposal, a moment where you were asked to spend the rest of your life with the person that you love the most. You would you want to rip apart the one SOLID thing that made that moment special. Would you want to sit there for the rest of your life and look at your ring and know that it was not the 'THE RING' but the 'setting'? Would you want to know all the problems that it caused by one person's mistake????

I dunno. I would go and see the jeweler and see what they say. If that stone was a stock stone and not a special order than I might tell them to eat the cost of the stone if they were that similar. If it was a special order than I would return it to make it right again. If you were the person who placed the order than I would want my sentimental stone back and I would hope that someone would do the right thing. I dunno my over all opinion on this, it depends on the circumstances of the stone itself.

Keep us posted, and oh, WHERE are OUR pictures??!!???? HAND PICS PLEASE!

Oh yeah and haven't people ever heard of diamonds "breathing". They are real and they are alive. To me they are anyways.

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 9/26/2006 2:13:07 PM
Author: gutman925

As for knowing my Fiance, I don''t know. I know she loves the ring. I really couldnt tell you what her reaction might be if I told her we need to have it replaced. It''s only been 24 hours since I was informed of the situation, and have not discussed it with her yet. It is of my opinion that this is her ring now, and I will do what needs to be done to not replace it. If it means paying a diffewrence, then so be it. to me, there is no reason she needs to be involved, if I can avoid it—I will tell her all about it once the situation has been rectafied, or It becomes necessary to have the ring evaluated or replaced.

I think that NOT being told would upset me MORE than anything. I would begin to wonder what else you''ve been keeping from me. A mistake has been made, and I think you should tell you fiance about it.

 

[gutman925]

I''ll be happy t tell her all about it—After the issue has been resolved.

I don''t feel like I''mbeing unfaithful, dishonest, or untruthful to her by working to solve the problem first. It''s not as if I''m telling hr about a sick relative after they''ve had surgury. Right now, as far as she''s concerned, her ring is perfect. My intent is to keep it that way.

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 9/26/2006 12:34:25 AM
Author: decodelighted
Really wonder if they''d even call to tattle on themselves or wait & hope the error wasn''t ever caught.

I imagine that there are a few who would do this, but I think you malign the vast majority of jewelers on the planet with such a statement. I know for sure that the vendors here on pricescope would be on the phone in an instant if such a mistake was ever made.

Mistakes happen and should be rectified. I certainly believe that as a jeweler I would be bending over backward to make it right, but I would not expect someone to tell me to stuff it just because they thought they could.

Wink

 

[sistagrl2004]

I don''t think she needs to be told until you have worked out a resolution. Why have her getting unnecessarily upset!?

 

[kenny]

I think it would be wonderful if you could work it out without her knowing (until it is a done deal), with her keeping the stone you gave her and never taking off the ring.
I respect you for stating you would pay more if it is a more valuable stone and not trying to take advantage of the jeweler.

Of course I would do this only if the diamond on her finger is the same or better in every parameter as the one I bought.

If it is a lower-value diamond then what?
I'd feel bad if I got a partial refund and she had a lesser diamond.
I'm not sure what I'd do then.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

I would not tell her there is something wrong unless you have too. This is a time when she should be excited and thrilled that she got her ring. She should not be worrying about whether or not her ring is going to be torn apart.

 

[gutman925]

For those have expressed an interest, this is the look of the ring (the photo was picked-up from the designer''s website). The only difference is that the channel diamonds on the rinf I purchased are princess cut, not round like the image, however the center diamond is a round brilliant—and as yet.. of unknown carat, cut, clarity etc...

 

[esp102]

Hey gutman925

If the hospital gave you the wrong child and called you a few days later and said we have your kid (sorry for the mix-up) but the kid you had was cuter and came from a gene pool much brighter than you did - would you return the kid?

If you can look at the diamond and not think that it was a mistake you own it - then you should be fine.

I like looking at my fiance''s ring knowing that I spent days, weeks and months hunting down that diamond.

But that''s just me.

 

[Kaleigh]

That''s a lovely setting, and hope all is resoved soon. Good luck!!!

 

[decodelighted]

decodelighted
"Really wonder if they'd even call to tattle on themselves or wait & hope the error wasn't ever caught."


Wink
"I think you malign the vast majority of jewelers on the planet with such a statement"


decodelighted
"By "they" I was referring to the single jeweler in this scenario ... who was cagy with the details & expecting the customer to assume all the emotional & possible setting structural damage resulting from the JEWELER's mistake.

I can't imagine any Pricescope vendor behaving in that matter ... and never meant to imply otherwise. I'm shocked you interpreted my comment in that fashion"


Wink
I would not expect someone to tell me to stuff it just because they thought they could.

decodelighted
"WHO is saying that? I haven't seen one post saying "Tell the jeweler to stuff it". I've seen a lot saying "Assume all the damage, break your fiance's heart, and because that is the right thing to do good stuff will come to you later". And I've seen a lot saying "Work toward a fair, equitable resolution - hopefully without disturbing the fresh e-ring/fiance love affair going on".

The OP has said over & over he has NO intention of "trying to get ill-gotten gain". He simply wants his fiance to be able to keep the ring HE PROPOSED WITH!!!!! Geez."

 

[Beacon]

Love the vatche royal crown setting! Very nice. No wonder she loves the ring.

If it were me, the jeweler would have to have a very compelling case before I would give it back.

Now there is a designer setting involved, which would need to be ripped up and reset. Don''t know about that. You would rather leave that alone!

I would give back if it were obvious that I was taking big advantage of a big error. On the other hand, I believe I would want a brand new Vatche setting, not the one they set, pull out, reset, etc.

If the stone you have on hand is a lesser one than you purchased, well, that is up to you what to do. But you''ll never find out, unless you investigate it more.

 

[pyramid]

I am reading that unless the stone is larger then it doesn't matter the specifications of the stone and it should be left as is in the ring. Remember the 4 c's there is more in the price of a diamond than the size, what if the OP bought an SI2 Clarity and the one in the ring is a VS1 in a 1 carat diamond that is quite a bit of money, what if the OP bought a Colour I and the one in the ring is an F that is a lot of money in a 1 carat also. The differences in Cut can also cost large amounts of money.

 

[Beacon]

Which is why it would be better if the jeweler just came out and told him what they gave him by accident.

I am guessing the difference couldn''t be all that relevent or they would be trying quite hard to get hom to give it back.

 

[pyramid]

Date: 9/26/2006 2:47:33 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~
ok so here is my 2 cents- (and 2 different sides)

Side one-
Lets say someone inherited a stone, they sent that to your jeweler who was setting it for them. That stone has sentimental value to the person that inherited it. When you found out that stone in your ring was not the stone that you ordered and not the stone that was inherited wouldn''t you want that stone back regueardless of what it was??

Side 2-
Being female, I can say that if my bf gave me my engagement ring and then less than a week later told me they made a mix up by giving me the wrong stone I would be utterly devistated. I would not want to give that ring back. That ring symbolizes something that cannot be replaced. A memory of a proposal, a moment where you were asked to spend the rest of your life with the person that you love the most. You would you want to rip apart the one SOLID thing that made that moment special. Would you want to sit there for the rest of your life and look at your ring and know that it was not the ''THE RING'' but the ''setting''? Would you want to know all the problems that it caused by one person''s mistake????

I dunno. I would go and see the jeweler and see what they say. If that stone was a stock stone and not a special order than I might tell them to eat the cost of the stone if they were that similar. If it was a special order than I would return it to make it right again. If you were the person who placed the order than I would want my sentimental stone back and I would hope that someone would do the right thing. I dunno my over all opinion on this, it depends on the circumstances of the stone itself.

Keep us posted, and oh, WHERE are OUR pictures??!!???? HAND PICS PLEASE!

Oh yeah and haven''t people ever heard of diamonds ''breathing''. They are real and they are alive. To me they are anyways.

It shows how the jewellery marketing has got to us, remember this is upgrade heaven the forum you are writing on

I know though some will keep their original ring and are more sentimental than others are.

 

[gutman925]

An Update:

I''m humbled and impressed with the involvment of this forum and the responses, insights, and opinions that have been expressed.

I called the jewler and left a message with the manager, simply stating that i wanted to discuss something with him regarding a ring I had purchsed. He promplty called me back, and i informed him simply of the facts that I recieved a call from one of the salespeople telling me that the wong stone was placed into the ring. I told him that if possible, I''d prefer not to exchange the ring, but also wanted to recrtif the situation with a mutually agreeable solution.

This was the first he had heard of this, wanted to speak witht he salesperson to get more information, and would call me back. He was apologetic, sincere, and wanted to make things right. So far a very good step in the right direction.


The fact that the store manager was not aware of this issue, makes me wonder many things. I know that when i find a mistake in my work, and things are likely to spin out of control, the first person i tell is someone higher on the totem pole.

I''ll keep you all posted.

 

[~*Alexis*~]

It sounds to me Gutman that they were trying to cover their own tracks by not telling them what was going on. Now THATS fishy.

 

[firebirdgold]

Oooh, she screwed up! Remember that comment about "it's my job, I'd better know"? I think that may have been litteral.

Unless the diamond belongs to another customer or is a cz, I'm pretty sure the manager will be quite happy to work something out with you so your fi can keep the ring.


ETA: Gorgeous setting! I love the look of channel set diamonds, and that's just such a gracelful ring!

 

[kenny]

Glad to hear it Gutman.

 

[Kiwiblossom]

Definitely fishy......

I''m sorry to hear about the whole situation. I hope everything gets resolved soon.

=(

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 9/26/2006 2:02:47 PM
Author: decodelighted

You BUY a puppy. You don''t BUY people. Babies aren''t PROPERTY. That''s what''s silly. I''d be interested to know the SEXES of the people on each side of this issue. Perhaps women feel more strongly attached to this *particular* inanimate object than the average GOLF CLUB.

OK.

From the female side, I''d feel more sentimental about the stone that my fiance intended for me to have....the one *he* picked out and said "yep, that''s the one".......the one that was picked out lovingly for me---than I would about a stone that was given to me only through the mistake of a jeweler.

He didn''t propose with a stone; he proposed with a ring. For me, it stands to reason that she''d still have the "ring" he proposed with if she keeps the setting.

Honestly, it''s hard to argue how sentimental e-rings are supposed to be when so many seem to upgrade without experience sentimental trauma.

 

[zhuzhu]

Regarding if and when you involve your finace in this situation here is my 2cents - if my bf gave me my engagement ring and then less than a week later told me they made a mix up by giving me the wrong stone, I would be devistated but NOT because I had to give the ring back for re-set, but because the diamond I received was NOT THE ONE HE PICKED OUT FOR ME. I would not only agree to get the diamond he picked out with his heart back ASAP, I would also be thankful for not having to live with the stone meant for SOMEONE ELSE for the rest of my life. Basicly by holding on to the mistaken stone (for whatever reason) I think I will be putting materialistic significance above that of the sentimental one. Think about it, the minute my bf ordered the stone for ering it already had my name on it, with or without it actually being set. Maybe it''s because I am a sentimental person but perhaps it''s another perspective to think about.

 

[Kaleigh]

Thanks for the update Gutman!! Very interesting indeed!!

 

[aljdewey]

I''ve had connectivity problems all day, so I''ve not be able to reply earlier. But, if I had, this is what I wanted to say:

All Gutman knew (at that point, and perhaps still at this point) is that an error of some kind has been discovered that impacts his fiance''s ring. Everyone''s starting to postulate on whether the error is in his economic favor or not, how much he should or shouldn''t pay for the difference if it''s more expense, etc and assuming this is strictly a monetary issue. I think that''s a bit premature.

Before he can make any kind of meaningful decisions, he really needs to find out if the stone in the ring right now was owned/is owned by another client. If it is, the jeweler doesn''t have the option to let him keep the ring as is because the jeweler doesn''t own the stone. The stone should be returned, and Gutman/jeweler can work to determine what stone will now be set into his fiance''s ring. Perhaps the jeweler will be willing to extend a little bit to get a slightly better stone gratis for the inconvenience.

If the stone isn''t already owned by a client, then there are really two options: keep the stone in the ring and negotiate a favorable price for it, or have the stone removed and replaced with the one he was supposed to get.

Everyone''s making assumptions about the jeweler (trying to prevent $$ loss, trying to hide mistake, etc, etc.) with pretty much NO information. Gutman really needs to find out the scope of the problem and the possible solutions before making any decisions on how to handle it.

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 9/26/2006 3:22:46 PM
Author: decodelighted
decodelighted
''Really wonder if they''d even call to tattle on themselves or wait & hope the error wasn''t ever caught.''


Wink
''I think you malign the vast majority of jewelers on the planet with such a statement''


decodelighted
''By ''they'' I was referring to the single jeweler in this scenario ... who was cagy with the details & expecting the customer to assume all the emotional & possible setting structural damage resulting from the JEWELER''s mistake.

I can''t imagine any Pricescope vendor behaving in that matter ... and never meant to imply otherwise. I''m shocked you interpreted my comment in that fashion''


Wink
I would not expect someone to tell me to stuff it just because they thought they could.

decodelighted
''WHO is saying that? I haven''t seen one post saying ''Tell the jeweler to stuff it''. I''ve seen a lot saying ''Assume all the damage, break your fiance''s heart, and because that is the right thing to do good stuff will come to you later''. And I''ve seen a lot saying ''Work toward a fair, equitable resolution - hopefully without disturbing the fresh e-ring/fiance love affair going on''.

The OP has said over & over he has NO intention of ''trying to get ill-gotten gain''. He simply wants his fiance to be able to keep the ring HE PROPOSED WITH!!!!! Geez.''

I was replying on my lunch hour and probably should not have. I did not mean to imply that Gutman was trying to do so, but was dismayed that some felt it his right to do so if he wished to.

What I am really curious to hear, and that can not happen until our supplicant has his meeting with the manager/owner of the store, is the facts of what happened, why, and what the store intends to do to make it right. This is definitely extremely touchy for both our supplicant and for the store, and I hope they are ready to march the extra mile to make things right, as well as to profoundly apologise for the mistake(s).

I do feel strongly that there is no "right" to profit from the mistake, although I know that I would be doing something to make it right if it was my store. (And yes, I do feel that in twenty-five years it will be part of the family folklore that is fondly shared with the children as they begin their searches for their own stones.)

Wink

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 9/26/2006 5:14:48 PM
Author: aljdewey
Honestly, it''s hard to argue how sentimental e-rings are supposed to be when so many seem to upgrade without experience sentimental trauma.

How many upgrade or downgrade two weeks after the engagement? I''d wager there''s plenty of LOVE LOVE LOVE of that little bauble going on right now.

And who are these *so many* women upgrading? Pricescopers are hardly representitive of the women I know IRL in that regard. How can you assume THIS particular woman wouldn''t be *sentimental* about her BRAND NEW E-RING.

HE didn''t see the difference or realize the difference between this stone and the one he picked out, so PERSONALLY I wouldn''t yearn for the magical, special one he pointed to out of a line up of several (as described earlier) unless he''d told me about this magical aha moment or something. If HE couldn''t see the difference, why should she be pining for "that other one" any more than the one she laid her eyes on when he opened that box during her wonderful proposal moment. The one she''s been oogling ever since, I''d guess.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 9/26/2006 5:41:40 PM
Author: decodelighted


How many upgrade or downgrade two weeks after the engagement? I''d wager there''s plenty of LOVE LOVE LOVE of that little bauble going on right now.

Well, if we''re gonna argue that, I guess we''ll have to argue how many women in that exact position would want to keep a stone that their BFs didn''t pick for them, right?

Date: 9/26/2006 5:41:40 PM
Author: decodelighted

And who are these *so many* women upgrading? Pricescopers are hardly representitive of the women I know IRL in that regard. How can you assume THIS particular woman wouldn''t be *sentimental* about her BRAND NEW E-RING.

I *don''t*, Deco. I haven''t assumed one thing about this particular woman. You, on the other hand, have. You''re all ready to go off to the races, full of indignation for this woman and her trauma when you don''t know any more about her than the rest of us. You''re all set to assume that she''s sentimental about the ring as is....and we don''t really know that.

It''s reasonable to think she''s over the moon about the ering that she *thinks* her BF picked out. We don''t know that she''d feel sentimental about the ring if she knew it wasn''t the stone he really selected for her, and we certainly don''t know if she''d feel more sentimental about the stone she was supposed to get instead of the one she was given mistakenly. It really could go either way. Before unleashing the hounds, I personally think it would be a good idea to find out.

Date: 9/26/2006 5:41:40 PM
Author: decodelighted

HE didn''t see the difference or realize the difference between this stone and the one he picked out, so PERSONALLY I wouldn''t yearn for the magical, special one he pointed to out of a line up of several (as described earlier) unless he''d told me about this magical aha moment or something. If HE couldn''t see the difference, why should she be pining for ''that other one'' any more than the one she laid her eyes on when he opened that box during her wonderful proposal moment. The one she''s been oogling ever since, I''d guess.

No, he didn''t see the difference, but then again, he wasn''t *looking* for a difference, was he? He reasonably expected that the ring contained his stone. Hey, and even if he HAD looked for a difference, lemme ask ya....how exactly is his untrained eye supposed to see the difference....especially if the colors/clarities are fairly close? Most of us all note that it''s hard to even tell the difference when we have two stones right next to each other, right?

He picked the stone that he did....and that''s the stone he expected to get. While you wouldn''t yearn for that, I would. So, neither of us can say what SHE would value.

Point is, we just don''t know. Assuming what she would choose/think/feel and using those assumptions as a basis to make decisions about the ring isn''t a great solution, in my very humble opinion.

I''m a sentimentalist (at this point in my life); I haven''t upgraded my ring, and I don''t foresee ever wanting to part with the diamond my husband proposed to me with. Having said that, if I had learned two weeks after our engagement that my vendor had sent the wrong stone, I''d want to be part of the decision on whehter or not to reach a reasonable price to keep this stone or whether to retrieve the stone I was supposed to have. I honestly wouldn''t want a litany of people who don''t know me deciding what I''d find important.

 

[gutman925]

An Update. An answer to some questions. And some vital statistics.

First off, it was the ring that I selected based upon what I liked. the diamond itself was based upon budget (however, I did let the store "talk me into" spending slightly above my budget). So from my POV, the process of choosing that specific diamond doesnt hold any sentimental value to me. Knowing my fiance, she's not the type to get sentimental over that kind of thing. That said, to tell her I need to replace it would be an emotional Pimp-slap to the back of the head.

Next up, I spoke again with the jewler. He called me back, and confirmed an error had been made; the diamond that has been set in the ring valued at approximatly $2,500 more than the one i selected. He said that he spoke with the store owner and that he had been autherized to provide me with a $200 discount for the “discomfort” of having to bring in the ring replace it with a lesser stone.

Perhaps I'm getting petty, but I spent thousands of dollars with them. $200 is chump change, and I'm not looking to return the ring. I politly informed him that, to me, there is a lot of sentimental value to this ring. It's only 2 weeks old and it represents a moment in time, and that replacing it would dull the act of engagement. He said he would get back to me.

About an hour later he called back to offered to split the difference and I would pay $1,300 in order to keep the ring intact. I told him that i needed to give this some thought, and i would get back to him.

For those interested, here are the vital statistics.

the stone i selected: 1.03 carat, H color, Si2 clarity
the stone I recieved: 1.03 carat, F Color, Vs2 clarity
(an as far as I know, the stone that is presently in the ring does not belong to anyone other than the jewelery store)

As all have said, this is an emotional, financial and moral deciscion. On the one hand, I'm not trying to screw anyone. However, I outright refuse to downgrade her ring. I may pay the difference, but I feel as though I've been backed into a corner, being forced to pony up cash. While I believe thier mistake was an honest one, I also feel that I've been Bait-and-switched. even if it is not intentional.

I need to think about it.

 

[zhuzhu]

Decodelighted, While I really appreciate your looking out to protect his fiance''s feeling, I am not sure why you are getting so defensive for her "right" to keep the stone that was mistakenly set. The truth is that it is SHE who knows best which diamod represents more of a sentimental value. Hence my suggestion to gutman925 on discussing the issue with her. After all, marriage is about honesty and sharing of journey. Her input may help greatly in guiding the direction of the resolution.