3shebabes
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2007
- Messages
- 170
Hello out there! I''''ve been lurking for months now -- endlessly reading all of your advice about diamonds and settings, oohing and ahhhing over the many pictures of your GORGEOUS "baubles" -- and reading up on the diamond "upgrade" posts. THAT is where my interests are at the moment. Married now for 9 years - but already daydreaming and wishing for a flashier stone and new setting for my 10th anniversary, which is a year away! I have dropped a few hints to which my hubby (the sweetest, most wonderful husband & father ever -- but not a natural-born jewelry-giver-type-guy) has either ignored completely, acted bored with the subject and immediately changed it, or made a comment like, "You want a new diamond ring? I''''d NEVER give up the wedding ring you gave me..." (Insert awkward silence followed by pangs of guilt here).
Here is the background info: Since we married 9 years ago, my hubby''''s business has done amazingly well. We feel very blessed! I would estimate his income is about 7 or 8 times what it was back then - when we became engaged. He gave me a beautiful solitaire back then - a 1.00 carat E VS2 pear set in a platinum tiffany style mounting, very simple, and I loved it. Since then, we have had 3 wonderful daughters! I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with them right now - but I will probably head back to work in a year or two. I still love my ring, but the materialistic (or should I say "diamond-loving" ) part of me yearns for a larger stone which I feel (know) we can technically swing -- it''''s all a matter of what makes sense I guess. I know my hubby is more practical than I am and his first thought will be that we should first have college completely in the bank for all 3 daughters (we''''re still quite a ways away -like 10 years- from the oldest going to college) before we put money toward something so frivolous. I don''''t even know if it''''s possible to save enough for college these days -- and we have saved some - but certainly not enough. We are fortunate to have a great house and even more fortunate that the payments are not a struggle, I tote my children around in a used Dodge Caravan (as opposed to a new luxury SUV or something like that), and I am FAR from being a major clothes shopper! I''''m more the type who buys a few new things each season - but that''''s it. So I may want something totally frivolous and unnecessary like a larger diamond -- but in other areas of life, I feel like I haven''''t been a big-spender. Cars depreciate, clothes go out of style, but something like this I feel I would enjoy for the rest of my life. So - my question is...am I awful to want this? Am I being selfish to ask him for this? ( I actually haven''''t asked, just hinted, but it hasn''''t gotten me very far...) How did some of you who have asked for upgrades (and gotten them) approach the subject with your significant others? How did they take it? Did you feel guilty or greedy? Did you ask for/discuss a "budget" for it?
I should say, for what it''''s worth, that I have looked around and tried on a number of diamond shapes and sizes and my ideal dream rock would be an oval in the 2 to 2.5 carat range. I found one on Whiteflash, with all the specs I dream of - but can''''t seem to find a way to discuss it with my hubby without feeling like a complete gold-digger! What makes it harder is that he himself is quite the down-to-earth guy -- nothing flashy about him. He never spends money on himself for frivolous items. He just isn''''t interested. He always says he isn''''t interested in things money can buy (except, apparently, college tuition!
) I think it''''s great to be that way -- and I feel that I am normally that kind of person...except where it comes to diamonds. They truly are my weakness! BUT - you wouldn''''t know it to look at me. Other than my engagement ring, I don''''t own any other "real" jewelry! My husband laughed at me when I nearly fainted once when a local jeweler offered to let me try on a 5 carat diamond engagement ring just for fun. I was just in there getting a watch fixed or something -- and I didn''''t ask to -- he just knew I loved diamonds and brought it out of the vault. My husband and I just cackled over the insane price tag, but my face got all hot and red when I tried it on and I felt like I''''d hyper-ventilate. My husband could not believe it, did NOT "get it" at all and kept saying, "Sweetie, they''''re just rocks?!!"
Anyway-- any advice from anyone out there who has been through this? So many of the posts I read about upgrade requests seemed like it was so simple -- like the husbands practically came up with the idea themselves?! I''''d like to know where you find THAT kind of husband! (Only kidding....love mine immensely, despite the fact that he doesn''''t "get" the diamond thing at all!)
SORRY for the novel I just wrote. Felt like expressing myself, I guess... Any/all advice or thoughts will be welcomed!
Here is the background info: Since we married 9 years ago, my hubby''''s business has done amazingly well. We feel very blessed! I would estimate his income is about 7 or 8 times what it was back then - when we became engaged. He gave me a beautiful solitaire back then - a 1.00 carat E VS2 pear set in a platinum tiffany style mounting, very simple, and I loved it. Since then, we have had 3 wonderful daughters! I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with them right now - but I will probably head back to work in a year or two. I still love my ring, but the materialistic (or should I say "diamond-loving" ) part of me yearns for a larger stone which I feel (know) we can technically swing -- it''''s all a matter of what makes sense I guess. I know my hubby is more practical than I am and his first thought will be that we should first have college completely in the bank for all 3 daughters (we''''re still quite a ways away -like 10 years- from the oldest going to college) before we put money toward something so frivolous. I don''''t even know if it''''s possible to save enough for college these days -- and we have saved some - but certainly not enough. We are fortunate to have a great house and even more fortunate that the payments are not a struggle, I tote my children around in a used Dodge Caravan (as opposed to a new luxury SUV or something like that), and I am FAR from being a major clothes shopper! I''''m more the type who buys a few new things each season - but that''''s it. So I may want something totally frivolous and unnecessary like a larger diamond -- but in other areas of life, I feel like I haven''''t been a big-spender. Cars depreciate, clothes go out of style, but something like this I feel I would enjoy for the rest of my life. So - my question is...am I awful to want this? Am I being selfish to ask him for this? ( I actually haven''''t asked, just hinted, but it hasn''''t gotten me very far...) How did some of you who have asked for upgrades (and gotten them) approach the subject with your significant others? How did they take it? Did you feel guilty or greedy? Did you ask for/discuss a "budget" for it?
I should say, for what it''''s worth, that I have looked around and tried on a number of diamond shapes and sizes and my ideal dream rock would be an oval in the 2 to 2.5 carat range. I found one on Whiteflash, with all the specs I dream of - but can''''t seem to find a way to discuss it with my hubby without feeling like a complete gold-digger! What makes it harder is that he himself is quite the down-to-earth guy -- nothing flashy about him. He never spends money on himself for frivolous items. He just isn''''t interested. He always says he isn''''t interested in things money can buy (except, apparently, college tuition!
Anyway-- any advice from anyone out there who has been through this? So many of the posts I read about upgrade requests seemed like it was so simple -- like the husbands practically came up with the idea themselves?! I''''d like to know where you find THAT kind of husband! (Only kidding....love mine immensely, despite the fact that he doesn''''t "get" the diamond thing at all!)
SORRY for the novel I just wrote. Felt like expressing myself, I guess... Any/all advice or thoughts will be welcomed!