giving up my asscher

[gwendolyn]

That''s great news--I''m glad you talked it through with your boyfriend and he understands. Can''t wait to see your pics!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 12/11/2007 1:25:42 PM
Author: sparkleandshine
Thank you all so much for your advice. You all said the things that I really felt, I was just trying to make everyone happy. Family dynamics are so complicated sometimes! Bottom line though, I would rather have my own 1 carat than a diamond that will always remind me of other people. Besides, what if I had traded up in the future, would I have had to give the pear back?? My FF and I had a long talk about it last night and I showed him all your posts to prove that I am not the only person out there who is super sentimental about diamonds. He understands where I am coming from and we will either find a very nice, appreciative way to give the diamond back, or have it set as a RHR. (It''s funny, when I think of the pear set as a RHR I am super excited, which tells me that it''s not about the pear, it''s wanting an engagement ring to be just about us)I will definitely be posting pictures of the asscher as soon as I get my hot little hands on it.

I''m SO glad you had a talk, and that your guy understands.

I can''t WAIT to covet, I mean, see your ring!! I have a small thing for Asschers.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 12/10/2007 8:36:56 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 12/10/2007 8:25:11 PM
Author: sparkleandshine
Ellen,

I''m so glad someone else understands. Every single family member and friend I have asked has told me that a diamond is a diamond and I''m silly to pay when I could get this one for free. I just feel like this is a representation of our relationship and as much as I love diamonds I don''t want to be selfish. He has told me that this is my decision, and he will support me either way. If it were a yucky diamond I would have said no way. But it actually is a really pretty stone.

Ok, first of all, STOP asking.

Listen, this is going to be your engagement ring. It''s special. And it should be exactly what you want. There is no other opinion (outside of boyfriends), that matters. This is not some RHR we''re talking about, where, yeah, we''ll have one of these, and one of those later.

No, this is THE ring. Get what you want. What you wanted to begin with.

I really have to agree with this........

This is your engagement diamond, not just ''some piece of jewelry''. While your BF doesn''t ''get'' why it''s different, he obviously accepts that to *you*, it IS different, and he IS willing to get what you''d like. He is the only one that matters other than you.

There are at least 5,000 other areas in your life you can sacrifice in toward saving for a house. Don''t do it on your engagement ring.

It doesn''t matter if all your other family/friends get it or not. To them, a diamond is a diamond......but it''s more than that to you. You shouldn''t have to conform to what everyone else thinks. As long as you two can afford the stone, it''s up to YOU to decide what value you place on things and whether or not that justifies the purchase.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 12/11/2007 1:25:42 PM
Author: sparkleandshine
Thank you all so much for your advice. You all said the things that I really felt, I was just trying to make everyone happy. Family dynamics are so complicated sometimes! Bottom line though, I would rather have my own 1 carat than a diamond that will always remind me of other people. Besides, what if I had traded up in the future, would I have had to give the pear back?? My FF and I had a long talk about it last night and I showed him all your posts to prove that I am not the only person out there who is super sentimental about diamonds. He understands where I am coming from and we will either find a very nice, appreciative way to give the diamond back, or have it set as a RHR. (It''s funny, when I think of the pear set as a RHR I am super excited, which tells me that it''s not about the pear, it''s wanting an engagement ring to be just about us)I will definitely be posting pictures of the asscher as soon as I get my hot little hands on it.

Sparkle and Shine - This is great news! Thanks for the update!

I''m really happy for you and think that it is great that you showed your boyfriend everyone''s responses ... very cute! I bet he had no idea what he would be in for ..

Congratulations - you future asscher owner ... find a nice home for that baby and report back to us with pics!

 

[mrssalvo]

well, i''m so happy to read you decide to move ahead with your dream asscher. that is truly wonderful. Have you given any thought to how you want to set it?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I''m late to this, but I''m so glad you had your chat, and the Asscher is going to be a reality.

I can''t wait to see how you set it!

 

[sparkleandshine]

Date: 12/11/2007 2:18:43 PM
Author: mrssalvo
well, i''m so happy to read you decide to move ahead with your dream asscher. that is truly wonderful. Have you given any thought to how you want to set it?

I''m thinking with traps on either side, but I''ve seen a leon mege setting with a one-sided pave band that I love. I''m just not sure how it will work with an asscher. Ironically it is set with a pear shape in the image.....

http://www.artofplatinum.com/4images/data/media/14/r901_007Ww.jpg


I like a little more of a sleek look. Halos and vintagey settings aren''t really my thing. Does anyone know of any pictures of an asscher set with trap side stone that I could peek at?

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Date: 12/10/2007 8:32:53 PM
Author: sparkleandshine

Date: 12/10/2007 8:28:41 PM
Author: NewEnglandLady
Is it possible to stick with the original stone (the asscher sounds amazing) and have the pear set into a beautiful pendant to wear on your wedding day? I think it''s very generous of your FFIL''s girlfriend to offer her stone, but I don''t think that it should necessarily replace the stone you had your heart on.

I am so relieved to hear all of you say that maybe I shouldn''t take the pear. None of my friends feel the way that I do about diamonds, so they just don''t get it. The asscher is perfect. It''s still on hold, I haven''t been able to bring myself to give it up completely yet.

Who''s gonna be wearing this ring.... you.

Get what you want, gracefully decline the offer.

 

[sparkleandshine]

Date: 12/11/2007 2:48:50 PM
Author: LaurenThePartier
I''m late to this, but I''m so glad you had your chat, and the Asscher is going to be a reality.


I can''t wait to see how you set it!

Lauren,

your asscher has always been one of my favorites. It''s amazing!

 

[Kaleigh]

That''s great news!!! Can''t wait to see it!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I think it''s great that you found a solution that you''re BOTH happy with.

Here''s a link to an asscher with traps. It''s from a Boston-based B&M (that I don''t like, but I get their catalogs and saw this).

http://www.barmakian.com/catalog/view.x?s:er_07_10/c:engagement_rings/p:1#

 

[HollyS]

You made the right decision.

I personally would not want to start my ''forever'' with someone''s cast-off from their broken marriage/engagement. And I would not accept it as a gift to be used in the future. If it were that wonderful, she would have dismantled the ring herself and had the stone set in some other piece of jewelry. She did not, and that should say everything you need to know.

Looking forward to seeing your asscher!

 

[mirre]

I'm not sure what I would do. If she is giving you the pear because it was from her ex-husband chances are she's not just giving it to you because she thinks you and BF need the diamond... she may genuinely not want it around anymore (bad memories for her or something) and figured that instead of selling it you might like to have it. If this is the case perhaps you and BF could speak with her about it that you very much appreciate the gesture but you have decided on an asscher and then find out if she would mind you keeping the diamond anyway, maybe using it like the others posted as a pendant in a necklace or even in a RHR. If she really didn't want the diamond back you could even approach her (carefully) about how she would feel if you were to trade it on the asscher. Chances are since she's willing to just give it to you she may not mind it going toward the cost of something that you've already picked out.
It sounds like it would be a tough choice only if you liked each stone equally... if you like the asscher best, pick that one.

ETA: I just read the rest of the thread after writing my post. I see that you have made your decision. Good luck with your asscher. After reading the posts I think this is exactly what I would do in the situation. I'm not sure how it would look (looks ok in my mind lol...) but if you are able to set the pear as a RHR what about setting two smaller pears on either side of the pear she is giving you but reversed in direction. If the point of the middle stone is one direction having another pear on each side with the points in the opposite direction of the middle stone.

 

[bee*]

yay-glad that you''re getting the ring that you want!
I agree with Deco-I wouldn''t take the pear off your FFIL''s gf.

 

[musey]

Hooray!!!

Good choice. An heirloom ring is one thing, but this was sort of a hand-me-down castoff. I''m so glad you''ll have a ring that''s special to YOU.

I can''t wait to see how you set your asscher!!