Octavia
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2007
- Messages
- 2,660
Dreamer_D said:Legally once married everything is common property. If you divorce it will all be split 50-50. Why maintain the fantasy that you are financiall independent when you are not? I have never understood this mentality. Not trying to judge, just warning you that my perspective is "All for one and one for all". Debts, assets, the whole enchilada. It helps that when we married we did not have indeividual debts or assets I suppose. If you did, then perhaps it is more complex.
This may be true where you live, but it is not true everywhere. Since Alli is an attorney and does matrimonial work, I'm sure she is more than aware of what is "his," "hers," and "theirs." For instance, where I live, any property my husband and I owned before we got married is separate property and would not be considered in the event our assets had to be divided. Also, there is a presumption here against 50-50 division of marital assets, since the judge must consider many, many factors in determining equitable (not equal) division.
I actually think that being a lawyer (or in my case, almost-lawyer) makes it harder to combine assets because you're acutely aware of the laws rather than the assumptions. I KNOW that legally, even though we are married, what my husband earns is his alone, and what is in his separate bank accounts is his alone, just like I know that my student loans (which I took out before we were married) belong only to me, and my car is mine alone. We can share, and we can commingle our assets if we want, but we don't actually have title to each other's stuff. It's very hard to know what the cold, hard laws are while still wanting to believe in the warm-fuzzy mindset of "what's mine is his, what's his is mine, it's all just ours." Not all states have the same laws, so it's not this way everywhere, but my state seems to be particularly individualistic. Most people don't know and don't care, but once you have it drilled into you, it's hard to forget.
Anyway, Alli, sorry for the threadjack...I don't know how it works in your state and if you have this same dilemma.