Boudior photos for BF?

[MsP]

**A bit of a preface: I am not really a LIW. I''m in a long-term serious relationship. We talk about marriage, future together, etc but that''s not in the cards at this point for many reasons.**

What do you think about doing boudior photos for a BF? I am thinking of getting them for an anniversary gift but my friends seem to have a big issue with this because he''s not my husband or future husband. I guess I just don''t see it... they''re saying that I shouldn''t do it because we''re not committed enough. I guess I don''t see it like this. We''re in a committed, intimate, serious relationship. Then I go over worst case scenario: we break up and he has these photos of me. Who cares?!?! They''d only be given if they were tasteful and something I''d be proud of. Isn''t this concern exactly the same for someone who''s married? What happens if they get divorced?!? I mean, I wouldn''t want them to get out to my boss, students, or coworkers but if it happened--is it the end of the world? They''re tasteful enough--not pornographic. And to be completely honest... I kind of want them for myself! I mean, who wouldn''t want some hot pictures of themselves to make them feel better about themselves?

What are your thoughts? Is this something that should be saved for the married or to-be-married couples? Would you do them for a BF who is not your fiance or husband?

Has anyone done them?

Want to share your experience?

 

[Bia]

Tell your friends to shut their face.

BUT, since I''m sure (well I hope) your friends are just ''looking out,'' I would really tell them that you understand where they are coming from but don''t agree because you want to do these photos for him. Just because. And because you love him, and want him to see you all dolled up and sex-sex-sexyyyy. That''s all they need to know. Also, you can say you''re doing these pics for yourself too. That''s a great reason to have b-pics taken. To document your bod when it was still hot!

Your bf is your bf. Don''t let other people take away from the seriousness of your relationship just because you don''t have a ring.

And, one more thing...B-PICS should be done tastefully, even if you''re completely naked. Therefore, even if you did break up and he was such a loser that he posted them on the internet, all people would say is, "Wow, she looks so beautiful. AND HOT!"

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 5/15/2009 11:49:33 AM
Author: Bia
Your bf is your bf. Don''t let other people take away from the seriousness of your relationship just because you don''t have a ring.

I agree.

 

[emeraldlover1]

I''m all for it and you might enjoy this thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/another-thread-about-b-pics-do-men-appreciate-them.115330/

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 5/15/2009 11:49:33 AM
Author: Bia



And, one more thing...B-PICS should be done tastefully, even if you''re completely naked. Therefore, even if you did break up and he was such a loser that he posted them on the internet, all people would say is, ''Wow, she looks so beautiful. AND HOT!''

ditto.

 

[snogirl17]

Glad you posted this.....
we have our 6 year anniversary coming up and i was thinking about doing this too! We arent married or engaged either. I think if your relationship is strong and stable, go for it! I don''t need a ring on my finger to prove our love. I think it is stronger than some of my friends who are engaged. Our time will come and when we are old and gray he can say that i was good looking once apon a time

GO FOR IT!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I want to do them. I've seen some very well-done ones and would love to be able to look back on them someday and reminisce.

However, I would not do them for a boyfriend. I am saving it for once we get engaged and will give the photos to him as a wedding gift. It's one of those things, for me, that I am only going to do for 'the one' - and while I know SO is 'the one', I still want to save the actual giving of the photos til our wedding day. Maybe not the most original gift ever (I know it's not uncommon for girls to do this), but I think he'll really love it.


It's your call, though. I had an ex or two that I thought might've been 'it' and I am very glad I didn't do anything like that for them. However, I really, truly KNOW with SO now - so only you know how sure you are of your relationship with your SO.

 

[princesss]

I''d do them. What the hell, you know? It''s just a body, everybody has one. And since he''s probably seen you less clothed than you would be in the pictures, I don''t see the big deal.

 

[MsP]

Date: 5/15/2009 12:09:13 PM
Author: absolut_blonde
It''s one of those things, for me, that I am only going to do for ''the one'' - and while I know SO is ''the one'', I still want to save the actual giving of the photos til our wedding day. Maybe not the most original gift ever (I know it''s not uncommon for girls to do this), but I think he''ll really love it.

I think you have nailed my friends concerns and to some extent--my--feelings exactly. I love him, we have similar life goals, we complement eachother perfectly. However, we are both strong willed with high career aspirations and that poses a problem. I''m not sure how much we''re each willing to sacrifice to promote the others career. At some time for it to work, one of us will have to step down and take a lesser professional role. I see this causing much strain but we haven''t come to that point yet.

But I don''t see how taking some great photos of myself for a gift is a big problem. As others stated, it''s just a body. I''m no supermodel but I''m pretty open with my body. I just want to make sure my photos are very conservative... I want to make sure that they''re something I would show my mother and be proud.

Another idea I''ve had is to have some couples photos taken... certainly not nude or anything even remotely similar to boudior, but just couples photos. Casual, outside, with things we enjoy doing together... We have very few great photos of us together. What do you think about this? Lame?

 

[suchende]

I would get (and am considering) boudoir photos. Couples photos I think is a little odd. To be perfectly honest, if you worked with me and I saw a professional photo of you two on your desk that wasn''t a family/wedding/engagement photo, I would think it was a little... vain, I guess.

 

[ladypirate]

I actually did this for an ex boyfriend. Luckily, we parted on relatively good terms and he gave me the photos back, so I have them now.

I don''t regret it at all--I think it''s kind of neat! Although the photos weren''t super boudoir-y. They were actually taken outdoors (in a state park...that was an interesting day...) and are more artsy than sexy.

 

[tlh]

I wouldn''t do it for a BF even a long term one... but I''m of the school of thought that undies are like swim suits, so if I want so remember what I looked like back when, I''ve got tons of swimsuit shots... I just don''t need nudie pics of me laying around to warp the fragile little minds of children if I have them... but that said, UNDIES ARE LIKE SWIM SUITS... if you''re not nekid or don''t care if a bunch of naked photos show up on the internet, which could cost you your job- no matter how good you look (wasn''t a teacher fired for this reason?) I say you''re taking that risk on, no matter who you step in front of a camera with...

so it is all a matter of, if other people see these photos, or they wind up on the net, would you care - if the answer is no.. then why does it matter what I think? go for it!

 

[stacy]

Ya know, I say do them for yourself. I think it would be super fun...

Also, I can relate to the relationship you have with your SO. I''ve been with mine for a little more than 8 years, and I just tell everyone he''s my fiance so they''ll leave me alone. We do plan to marry one day -- probably soon. He''s in grad school now, and I gave up a job I loved and moved away from my hometown for him. I don''t regret it, but I miss my job, and having a job... I had an interview today, so maybe I''ll get to have both again soon!

Anyway, sorry to threadjack. I think you should do the pics for yourself if you want. Then if you want to give some to your bf, go for it. You all have been together a long time, and that represents a definite commitment.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/15/2009 4:50:33 PM
Author: tlh
I wouldn''t do it for a BF even a long term one... but I''m of the school of thought that undies are like swim suits, so if I want so remember what I looked like back when, I''ve got tons of swimsuit shots... I just don''t need nudie pics of me laying around to warp the fragile little minds of children if I have them... but that said, UNDIES ARE LIKE SWIM SUITS... if you''re not nekid or don''t care if a bunch of naked photos show up on the internet, which could cost you your job- no matter how good you look (wasn''t a teacher fired for this reason?) I say you''re taking that risk on, no matter who you step in front of a camera with...

so it is all a matter of, if other people see these photos, or they wind up on the net, would you care - if the answer is no.. then why does it matter what I think? go for it!

Ditto tlh. I''m all for sexy and being ms. empowered, but IMHO many of the responses on this thread are short sighted. Yes, even marriages or engagements can turn out nasty, but it is STILL a step or ten away from a bf. If a bf was every bit as good, why are so many LIWs so eager to move on to engagement/marriage? It is because it does indeed signal a more serious relationship to many, many people.

Good relationships can turn very very bad. Angry people are capable of doing things you could not even have dreamed. If you don''t care that something could happen to those photos to haunt you, then go for it.

 

[Bia]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:41:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/15/2009 4:50:33 PM

Author: tlh

I wouldn''t do it for a BF even a long term one... but I''m of the school of thought that undies are like swim suits, so if I want so remember what I looked like back when, I''ve got tons of swimsuit shots... I just don''t need nudie pics of me laying around to warp the fragile little minds of children if I have them... but that said, UNDIES ARE LIKE SWIM SUITS... if you''re not nekid or don''t care if a bunch of naked photos show up on the internet, which could cost you your job- no matter how good you look (wasn''t a teacher fired for this reason?) I say you''re taking that risk on, no matter who you step in front of a camera with...


so it is all a matter of, if other people see these photos, or they wind up on the net, would you care - if the answer is no.. then why does it matter what I think? go for it!

Ditto tlh. I''m all for sexy and being ms. empowered, but IMHO many of the responses on this thread are short sighted. Yes, even marriages or engagements can turn out nasty, but it is STILL a step or ten away from a bf. If a bf was every bit as good, why are so many LIWs so eager to move on to engagement/marriage? It is because it does indeed signal a more serious relationship to many, many people.


Good relationships can turn very very bad. Angry people are capable of doing things you could not even have dreamed. If you don''t care that something could happen to those photos to haunt you, then go for it.

I don''t know TGal. Every couple is unique. Some people never dream of getting married, and that''s okay. Would you tell a woman in that type of relationship not to go for it if she thought she might want to? I''m not exactly sure what the OP''s plans are regarding an engagement/marriage, but if she was uncomfortable doing it on a personal level (not solely what people would think about her not being married, or breaking up and having pictures in the hands of an ex), I wouldn''t encourage her to do it. It''s something you do because you want to. Personally, I never did because, quite honestly, it never occurred to me. But had I wanted to, I don''t think the fact that we weren''t engaged would have been a reason not to. That''s me, and I understand 100% why others may not feel comfortable doing so. IMO, it sounded like she really did want to do this, but because marriage wasn''t in her immediate future, she was a bit uncertain as to whether it was appropriate.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/15/2009 11:33:18 PM
Author: Bia

Date: 5/15/2009 10:41:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 5/15/2009 4:50:33 PM

Author: tlh

I wouldn''t do it for a BF even a long term one... but I''m of the school of thought that undies are like swim suits, so if I want so remember what I looked like back when, I''ve got tons of swimsuit shots... I just don''t need nudie pics of me laying around to warp the fragile little minds of children if I have them... but that said, UNDIES ARE LIKE SWIM SUITS... if you''re not nekid or don''t care if a bunch of naked photos show up on the internet, which could cost you your job- no matter how good you look (wasn''t a teacher fired for this reason?) I say you''re taking that risk on, no matter who you step in front of a camera with...


so it is all a matter of, if other people see these photos, or they wind up on the net, would you care - if the answer is no.. then why does it matter what I think? go for it!

Ditto tlh. I''m all for sexy and being ms. empowered, but IMHO many of the responses on this thread are short sighted. Yes, even marriages or engagements can turn out nasty, but it is STILL a step or ten away from a bf. If a bf was every bit as good, why are so many LIWs so eager to move on to engagement/marriage? It is because it does indeed signal a more serious relationship to many, many people.


Good relationships can turn very very bad. Angry people are capable of doing things you could not even have dreamed. If you don''t care that something could happen to those photos to haunt you, then go for it.

I don''t know TGal. Every couple is unique. Some people never dream of getting married, and that''s okay. Would you tell a woman in that type of relationship not to go for it if she thought she might want to? I''m not exactly sure what the OP''s plans are regarding an engagement/marriage, but if she was uncomfortable doing it on a personal level (not solely what people would think about her not being married, or breaking up and having pictures in the hands of an ex), I wouldn''t encourage her to do it. It''s something you do because you want to. Personally, I never did because, quite honestly, it never occurred to me. But had I wanted to, I don''t think the fact that we weren''t engaged would have been a reason not to. That''s me, and I understand 100% why others may not feel comfortable doing so. IMO, it sounded like she really did want to do this, but because marriage wasn''t in her immediate future, she was a bit uncertain as to whether it was appropriate.

I think it''s great that some women never dream of getting married (I was one of them). And if they were in a long term serious relationship, living together and pretty well tied together except for that piece of paper, I''d say fine, go for it. This is for someone who flat out is NOT going to get married.

To someone who is, I do say yes, wait. You want engagement, you want marriage. You''re not the same the woman who does not want to get married, period. YOU have to still get that formal commitment from your spouse, and we all know that sometimes these guys are less willing to commit than the woman thinks. And until that happens, "forever" is not agreed upon.

You can have forever with or without that piece of paper. For those that do, the dynamics of the relationship is different because there are a few extra formal steps to go through. And things can just get messy on the road there.

 

[jaylex]

First of all, I understand where you are coming from. BF and I have been together for 4 years and although we know that we are very close to getting engaged, some people don''t understand how committed we are to each other. He and I have a closer relationship than my mom and step dad who have been married for 11 years. I don''t necessarily think a ring makes much of a difference sometimes, but sometimes it does. I feel it is unique to every relationship. You know your relationship better than your friends. If you want the pics taken and are comfortable giving them to him, get them taken and have fun!

Second, I am probably the odd one out in that my bf would probably be upset if I had boudoir photos taken. He has actually told me that it would upset him. We are very private when it comes to that "aspect" of our life. He doesn''t want anyone else looking at me (partially) naked and i''m actually pretty happy about that. I wouldn''t want anyone else seeing him that way either. Now, If I took them myself or had my closest friend take them he would feel differently but having a stranger see me naked, or in seductive "positions" (for lack of a better word) would make him (and myself) pretty uncomfortable.

But we have talked about having casual couples photos taken of us, but we''ll probably just wait until we are engaged which is pretty soon anyway.

 

[Octavia]

My take on it is, if you want to do them for yourself, do it. Your BF can share

but you can retain ownership rather than gifting them to him. Granted, there''s always the worry that he''d take them anyway, but if they''re not a gift, you''d probably be in a much better position. I don''t think I''d ever recommend that a woman do b-pics just for her SO -- I''m planning to do them just before the wedding, but they''re still going to be for me more than for my FI (by the time he sees them, DH).

 

[phoenixgirl]

You mentioned having students . . . what do you teach? If it''s not college, then I think you have to be careful simply because the pictures could mess up your job for you. If the photos somehow ever got out, it would be newsworthy just because you''re a school teacher.

There was a teacher around here who went out drinking last Friday wearing her school shirt. At 2 a.m. her fiance put her in a cab home. The cab driver discovered she didn''t have any cash and dropped her off at a gas station. She began stumbling around and making a fool of herself. Someone filmed her on his camera phone. The police were called and she was arrested. She is SUSPENDED from her job right now. The news was all, "Local schoolteacher arrested for public drunkenness." No one would have cared if she were wearing her McDonald''s uniform instead of her school teeshirt.

She was just unlucky. Her fiance should have gone home with her, or made sure she had cash. The cab driver shouldn''t have dumped her out on a sketchy street at 2 a.m. The losers who hang out at gas stations in the middle of the night shouldn''t have filmed her and put it on the internet. Yes, she chose to have too much to drink and to wear her school shirt, but a lot of people have had too much to drink without it blowing up in their faces like this.

What if, somehow, the pictures got out? Are you sure they are tasteful enough that you wouldn''t get any flak for it? Are you sure your job would be willing to take the negative publicity? Because boudoir connotes eroticism to me.

 

[HollyS]

Hmmmm. . .

I would be cautious about how much these photos reveal. He is not your husband, or your FI, and there is that possibility, no matter how faint, that these photos could wind up in the wrong hands. Like on Facebook. Or less savory sites.

Not saying your BF would do such a thing. Just thinking you should proceed with care.

 

[MsP]

Date: 5/16/2009 5:41:04 PM
Author: HollyS
Hmmmm. . .

I would be cautious about how much these photos reveal. He is not your husband, or your FI, and there is that possibility, no matter how faint, that these photos could wind up in the wrong hands. Like on Facebook. Or less savory sites.

Not saying your BF would do such a thing. Just thinking you should proceed with care.

Would you ever get these done?... or does your vote for "not" mainly have to do with not being married? If the main reservation is because of them possibly "getting out" I don''t see how being married would solve this. With approximately 45-50%(roughly... I don''t recall exactly) of marriages ending in divorce, and many divorces ending on unfriendly and sometimes hostile terms... I don''t get how these marriage vows protect you.

I completely understand where you''re coming from and I understand your point. I think that exactly how much they reveal and the tone of the photos is very, very important. I don''t want to look like a **** star in 5" heels. Even if you can''t see anything private, I just don''t want that feel. I am thinking of more of a pin-up classic style.

Thank you for your post. I really appreciate the input.

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 5/15/2009 10:41:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Ditto tlh. I''m all for sexy and being ms. empowered, but IMHO many of the responses on this thread are short sighted. Yes, even marriages or engagements can turn out nasty, but it is STILL a step or ten away from a bf. If a bf was every bit as good, why are so many LIWs so eager to move on to engagement/marriage? It is because it does indeed signal a more serious relationship to many, many people.
Good relationships can turn very very bad. Angry people are capable of doing things you could not even have dreamed. If you don''t care that something could happen to those photos to haunt you, then go for it.

Sure, but in my opinion that is true for a marriage/engagement as well as any other serious, committed, mature, loving relationship. How many bad, bad, bad divorces are there where people turn on the people they were closest to not long before? If a person''s got it in him or her to turn nasty on his/her SO during a break-up, that''s going to come out no matter the type of commitment.

 

[MsP]

Date: 5/16/2009 12:17:50 PM
Author: Octavia
Your BF can share

but you can retain ownership rather than gifting them to him.

I think this is a good suggestion. Show them, perhaps keep them around, but not outright give them to him. I''m not sure how this would work though... tactfully. It''s like, "Here''s something I did for you--but you can''t actually have them--because I don''t trust you thaaaat much."

Good point, though. I need to mull it over.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 5/16/2009 8:40:14 PM
Author: MissPrudential

Date: 5/16/2009 5:41:04 PM
Author: HollyS
Hmmmm. . .

I would be cautious about how much these photos reveal. He is not your husband, or your FI, and there is that possibility, no matter how faint, that these photos could wind up in the wrong hands. Like on Facebook. Or less savory sites.

Not saying your BF would do such a thing. Just thinking you should proceed with care.

Would you ever get these done?... or does your vote for ''not'' mainly have to do with not being married? If the main reservation is because of them possibly ''getting out'' I don''t see how being married would solve this. With approximately 45-50%(roughly... I don''t recall exactly) of marriages ending in divorce, and many divorces ending on unfriendly and sometimes hostile terms... I don''t get how these marriage vows protect you.

I completely understand where you''re coming from and I understand your point. I think that exactly how much they reveal and the tone of the photos is very, very important. I don''t want to look like a **** star in 5'' heels. Even if you can''t see anything private, I just don''t want that feel. I am thinking of more of a pin-up classic style.

Thank you for your post. I really appreciate the input.

I am married, and I probably still wouldn''t do them. I don''t have any objection to them, per se.

If I changed my mind and had them done, I too would have them be more classicly sensual, rather than blatantly sexy. Just ''cause.