Ladies, how do you feel about aging?

[CJ2008]

My question isn't posed to Az specifically but to all the posters who feel invisible. Why does turning people's heads matter? Why does commanding a room matter? Shouldn't that be done by confidence, not physical appearance or wealth? If nobody helps me in a store, I will go flag down a store assistant myself. I am sorry but I don't see why these are concerns.

So, when the clerk looks right at you, and doesn't see you, and turns to help a younger customer, do you grab the clerk by the arm? Yell, "HEY!" How do you flag down someone who's ignoring you?

The thing is, even if you DID do that...(because yes, if I'm a store and I need help and nobody's helping or they're ignoring me I will either leave if they're being rude to me or I will find someone to help me). This has not happened to me yet by the way - or not that I've noticed. Then again I don't shop much.

Point is the message you start to hear is: you don't matter.

That's why it takes a load of self confidence to know that you DO matter no matter what people do or say.

But I imagine as we get older some of those "messages" get tougher to ignore.

ETA: BTW one of the saddest parts for me in the documentary Queen of Versailles is when at one point she goes up to her husband for a kiss and he says "I don't want to kiss an old hag." Obviously he's an idiot, but I felt really sad for her in that moment - whether he meant it or not (and I have a feeling he meant every word of it.)

 

[CJ2008]

CJ2008, there's nothing wrong with staying home. I like to stay home, too. Sometimes I get home after work, and there's this huge sense of relief.

Oh yes, believe me, I know this!

It's just that...lately you kind of have to pry me out of the house like...always. Not much sounds better than pizza and a movie at home to me ever.

 

[chrono]

My question isn't posed to Az specifically but to all the posters who feel invisible. Why does turning people's heads matter? Why does commanding a room matter? Shouldn't that be done by confidence, not physical appearance or wealth? If nobody helps me in a store, I will go flag down a store assistant myself. I am sorry but I don't see why these are concerns.

So, when the clerk looks right at you, and doesn't see you, and turns to help a younger customer, do you grab the clerk by the arm? Yell, "HEY!" How do you flag down someone who's ignoring you?

Of course! If the SA is rude to me, I will treat the SA the same way. Wouldn't any man do the same? If a guy won't put up with this, why should a woman? I won't grab the SA's arm but I WILL state loudly and plainly that I was there first and therefore should be assisted first. There is no reason for anyone to step all over me and I will not let anyone get away with it.

 

[ennui]

I just shop elsewhere.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Ok ladies, if you don't want to be invisible, wear yoga pants in public.


There, that's the secret!

Pics please!...

 

[missy]

I don't let others control how I feel about myself. I am a realist and understand how others view people but I go by a different value system and accept that physical appearance is superficial and does not make a person beautiful where it counts.

Just because I am young and pretty (talking in the general sense here not about me specifically) doesn't mean I am more valuable than someone who is less young and less pretty. Just because I am older and not as youthful and pretty doesn't make me any less important than someone who is younger and more beautiful. I am much more than my superficial appearance.

I don't (and won't) tie my self worth to my physical appearance. However I credit my parents for that because when I was growing up they always taught me what is important and valuable and it had nothing to do with looks. So I internalized my self worth separate from how I looked and developed a strong sense of self that is in no way tied to physical features.

Having said that I want to be the best me possible re appearance but I also accept that is different than how I looked 20 years ago. And it is OK. Because there is no other alternative. I am content and happy and if one connects one's happiness based on their appearance one is bound to be disappointed eventually should one live long enough that is.


CJ, I am a homebody too and that is OK! I love being home and with my kitties and my dh. It is so cozy and it is a happy loving place to be. All good!

 

[LLJsmom]

Guilty. I will lululemon compression tights out to a movie or run errands on the weekend. They are very warm and very supportive, and they just feel great. Even worse, the legs are tight all the way down. However, I promise no panty lines. I've seen worse so I don't care. I don't think I look offensive but I certainly am not super skinny or tall. I guess I care more for my own comfort than other people's sensibilities. I can live with it.

I wasn't suggesting yoga pants for the panty lines. I was simply saying that they get you noticed.

And maybe they don't hide all flaws, but I think that it is only US who notice that. Men just see "butt in yoga pants." HA!

We are far too hard on ourselves. Admittedly, I'm very guilty of this.

I am super intrigued by compression pants. You say they are warm. Are they difficult to work out in? They sound like they are best for winter?

http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/pants-yoga/Ebb-To-Street-Pant?cc=17376

House cat, these are super comfy and warm pants that I wear out casually. I have one in this blue color and charcoal gray. They are quite thick and most people would not wear them in summer. I live in northern CA so it can get cold year round and my am particularly cold after my long runs. These aren't true compression pants that I wear when I am actually running (2xu is the brand I use). But they are more gentle. However you will still feel the support due to the seaming and knit of the pant. And there is no tight top but a wide band that hugs and covers my whole belly. I feel like I am being wrapped in a blanket all day when I wear these.

 

[House Cat]

Guilty. I will lululemon compression tights out to a movie or run errands on the weekend. They are very warm and very supportive, and they just feel great. Even worse, the legs are tight all the way down. However, I promise no panty lines. I've seen worse so I don't care. I don't think I look offensive but I certainly am not super skinny or tall. I guess I care more for my own comfort than other people's sensibilities. I can live with it.

I wasn't suggesting yoga pants for the panty lines. I was simply saying that they get you noticed.

And maybe they don't hide all flaws, but I think that it is only US who notice that. Men just see "butt in yoga pants." HA!

We are far too hard on ourselves. Admittedly, I'm very guilty of this.

I am super intrigued by compression pants. You say they are warm. Are they difficult to work out in? They sound like they are best for winter?

http://shop.lululemon.com/products/clothes-accessories/pants-yoga/Ebb-To-Street-Pant?cc=17376

House cat, these are super comfy and warm pants that I wear out casually. I have one in this blue color and charcoal gray. They are quite thick and most people would not wear them in summer. I live in northern CA so it can get cold year round and my am particularly cold after my long runs. These aren't true compression pants that I wear when I am actually running (2xu is the brand I use). But they are more gentle. However you will still feel the support due to the seaming and knit of the pant. And there is no tight top but a wide band that hugs and covers my whole belly. I feel like I am being wrapped in a blanket all day when I wear these.

Hey! I am in northern CA too!

The idea of feeling wrapped in a blanket all day...heaven! I am definitely going to check these out!

 

[House Cat]

I have to be 100% honest...

I think that as we age, we become even more beautiful. I realize the aging process is difficult, but I think mentally and emotionally we should lean into it, rather than rail against it.


Women become the epitome of femininity as they age. They become wisdom, softness, and love as they get older. They are the family's source of real caring and unconditional love. They are comfort. The lines on their face point to a rich life lived. I think that the look of age builds trust for the young ones...

I think priorities shift from being noticed to noticing the good things in life.

I dunno...I am sort of at a loss for words, but do you understand what I am getting at?


I understand that the process of aging is difficult, but I don't want it to be. I want to embrace what is coming. I don't want to care if men notice my butt in yoga pants. I want to care about the beauty of the world, my kids, my grandkids, the richness that I can give to them...living the fullest life possible...

I still might get botox once in a while, but I don't want it to be a priority...

 

[missy]

I have to be 100% honest...

I think that as we age, we become even more beautiful. I realize the aging process is difficult, but I think mentally and emotionally we should lean into it, rather than rail against it.


Women become the epitome of femininity as they age. They become wisdom, softness, and love as they get older. They are the family's source of real caring and unconditional love. They are comfort. The lines on their face point to a rich life lived. I think that the look of age builds trust for the young ones...

I think priorities shift from being noticed to noticing the good things in life.

I dunno...I am sort of at a loss for words, but do you understand what I am getting at?


I understand that the process of aging is difficult, but I don't want it to be. I want to embrace what is coming. I don't want to care if men notice my butt in yoga pants. I want to care about the beauty of the world, my kids, my grandkids, the richness that I can give to them...living the fullest life possible...

I still might get botox once in a while, but I don't want it to be a priority...

Beautifully said Housecat.

 

[CJ2008]

I don't let others control how I feel about myself. I am a realist and understand how others view people but I go by a different value system and accept that physical appearance is superficial and does not make a person beautiful where it counts.

Just because I am young and pretty (talking in the general sense here not about me specifically) doesn't mean I am more valuable than someone who is less young and less pretty. Just because I am older and not as youthful and pretty doesn't make me any less important than someone who is younger and more beautiful. I am much more than my superficial appearance.

I don't (and won't) tie my self worth to my physical appearance. However I credit my parents for that because when I was growing up they always taught me what is important and valuable and it had nothing to do with looks. So I internalized my self worth separate from how I looked and developed a strong sense of self that is in no way tied to physical features.

Having said that I want to be the best me possible re appearance but I also accept that is different than how I looked 20 years ago. And it is OK. Because there is no other alternative. I am content and happy and if one connects one's happiness based on their appearance one is bound to be disappointed eventually should one live long enough that is.

CJ, I am a homebody too and that is OK! I love being home and with my kitties and my dh. It is so cozy and it is a happy loving place to be. All good!

Missy, everything you describe is the essence of true self confidence.

I am so happy for you that this is how you feel. It truly is nice to see (especially in someone as caring as you). Your parents did an excellent job on this, I hope they know.

I wish we could all feel this way. I try - and at times I succeed - but it's usually short lived. My inward / introvert nature does not help this I'm sure.

And yes - home is just so...awesome.

 

[CJ2008]

I have to be 100% honest...

I think that as we age, we become even more beautiful. I realize the aging process is difficult, but I think mentally and emotionally we should lean into it, rather than rail against it.


Women become the epitome of femininity as they age. They become wisdom, softness, and love as they get older. They are the family's source of real caring and unconditional love. They are comfort. The lines on their face point to a rich life lived. I think that the look of age builds trust for the young ones...

I think priorities shift from being noticed to noticing the good things in life.

I dunno...I am sort of at a loss for words, but do you understand what I am getting at?


I understand that the process of aging is difficult, but I don't want it to be. I want to embrace what is coming. I don't want to care if men notice my butt in yoga pants. I want to care about the beauty of the world, my kids, my grandkids, the richness that I can give to them...living the fullest life possible...

I still might get botox once in a while, but I don't want it to be a priority...

HC wish more people had this view of older women - the world would probably be a very different place. It's nice to hear that some people really do see things this way. I'll try to remember this.

I've said a few different times that attitude is everything...if you are truly at peace with yourself - young, old, too fat or too thin, pretty, short or tall, - you will radiate it. And that in itself is beautiful.

I just think for many of us - this is difficult to achieve. Unfortunately.

 

[junebug17]

Hmm, how do I feel about aging…not great but I guess I've made my peace with it. There's nothing I can do about it anyway. I'm trying my best to maintain a positive attitude because I think that enhances a person's appearance. My problem is a lot of my self-esteem came from how I looked, and when that's gone there's not much else left. I had to kind of start over as I got older, and it's not always easy.

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

But what can I do, I look the way I look. I've been trying to look my best and that's all I can do. And it's true that it doesn't really matter what's on the outside, it's what's on the inside that counts. My husband still seems to think I look ok and I guess he's the only one who really matters. I try to focus on the good things in my life, and I am SO grateful and happy to be in good health. That's a biggie for me these days.

I think the main thing that bothers me is that 85 is a lot closer now than it was when I was 25! And the years fly by so fast…but I still have a lot of life to live, and things to enjoy and look forward to, so I try not to dwell on it. A friend of mine reminded me that when I'm 85 I'll be wishing I looked the way I do now! I've made up my mind I don't want to waste these precious years worrying about something I can't do much about anyway.

LLJsmom, your list is excellent and I agree with every word, both the pros and cons!

 

[CJ2008]

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

Sorry junebug

We all have scars like this that no matter how much time goes by are always there.

I remember some moments from high school and my younger days in my 20s that feel like they happened yesterday. And they are always about comparisons - good and bad (meaning one memory is someone saying something negative about me compared with the girls I was with - another is someone saying something positive to me and negative to the girl I was with) or about specific body parts said to me at one point or another (these seem to be all negative).

 

[lyra]

I was jokingly saying I was invisible. I may not be. I choose to be. My self confidence comes from life experiences, not looks. I realize what odds we face as women, and at this age I'm ready to say to hell with it! I will wear my hair long and dye it purple if I want. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks of the way I dress either, although I'm definitely not turning heads in my t-shirts and jeans/jeggings/sweat pants and strictly sensible shoes.

I don't tolerate rude people well. I ask them straight up what their problem is, if they dare to say or do something offensive to me. I'll even swear at people if I feel the need (or desire). There's a good side to aging too. You can be as free as you want to be, if you're willing to. Or just do whatever you want. I think this is the sweet spot, at 50+. Sooner or later it will go downhill physically. Might as well have a decade of liberty.

 

[LLJsmom]

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

Sorry junebug

We all have scars like this that no matter how much time goes by are always there.

I remember some moments from high school and my younger days in my 20s that feel like they happened yesterday. And they are always about comparisons - good and bad (meaning one memory is someone saying something negative about me compared with the girls I was with - another is someone saying something positive to me and negative to the girl I was with) or about specific body parts said to me at one point or another (these seem to be all negative).

Junebug, did she mean it in a negative way? Maybe you looked so good, that looked even better than before. Or maybe she has a very bad memory. Maybe she doesn't even really remember who you are. I hope you don't take it too hard. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. I forget people all the time. And 8 years is a long time.

 

[LLJsmom]

I don't let others control how I feel about myself. I am a realist and understand how others view people but I go by a different value system and accept that physical appearance is superficial and does not make a person beautiful where it counts.

Just because I am young and pretty (talking in the general sense here not about me specifically) doesn't mean I am more valuable than someone who is less young and less pretty. Just because I am older and not as youthful and pretty doesn't make me any less important than someone who is younger and more beautiful. I am much more than my superficial appearance.

I don't (and won't) tie my self worth to my physical appearance. However I credit my parents for that because when I was growing up they always taught me what is important and valuable and it had nothing to do with looks. So I internalized my self worth separate from how I looked and developed a strong sense of self that is in no way tied to physical features.

Having said that I want to be the best me possible re appearance but I also accept that is different than how I looked 20 years ago. And it is OK. Because there is no other alternative. I am content and happy and if one connects one's happiness based on their appearance one is bound to be disappointed eventually should one live long enough that is.

CJ, I am a homebody too and that is OK! I love being home and with my kitties and my dh. It is so cozy and it is a happy loving place to be. All good!

Missy, everything you describe is the essence of true self confidence.

I am so happy for you that this is how you feel. It truly is nice to see (especially in someone as caring as you). Your parents did an excellent job on this, I hope they know.

I wish we could all feel this way. I try - and at times I succeed - but it's usually short lived. My inward / introvert nature does not help this I'm sure.

And yes - home is just so...awesome.

Yes so true Missy and CJ. I aspire to that too. I want to be at peace with my looks and with what my body can and cannot do. But I don't want that to limit my life, what I am willing to try and accomplish. I guess I am still a work in progress...

 

[Calliecake]

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

Sorry junebug

We all have scars like this that no matter how much time goes by are always there.

I remember some moments from high school and my younger days in my 20s that feel like they happened yesterday. And they are always about comparisons - good and bad (meaning one memory is someone saying something negative about me compared with the girls I was with - another is someone saying something positive to me and negative to the girl I was with) or about specific body parts said to me at one point or another (these seem to be all negative).

Junebug, did she mean it in a negative way? Maybe you looked so good, that looked even better than before. Or maybe she has a very bad memory. Maybe she doesn't even really remember who you are. I hope you don't take it too hard. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. I forget people all the time. And 8 years is a long time.

Junebug, I had the same the thoughts as LLJsmom. It probably is because you look so good! Also 8 years is a long time.

 

[Calliecake]

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

Sorry junebug

We all have scars like this that no matter how much time goes by are always there.

I remember some moments from high school and my younger days in my 20s that feel like they happened yesterday. And they are always about comparisons - good and bad (meaning one memory is someone saying something negative about me compared with the girls I was with - another is someone saying something positive to me and negative to the girl I was with) or about specific body parts said to me at one point or another (these seem to be all negative).

Junebug, did she mean it in a negative way? Maybe you looked so good, that looked even better than before. Or maybe she has a very bad memory. Maybe she doesn't even really remember who you are. I hope you don't take it too hard. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. I forget people all the time. And 8 years is a long time.

Junebug, I had the same the thoughts as LLJsmom. It probably is because you look so good! Also 8 years is a long time.

 

[telephone89]

I hate aging. I don't want to be old. I don't want to look old. Most of all, I wish I appreciated how GREAT I used to look! When I was younger, I was very self concious. I did not think I was hot, or sexy. But DAMN I was. I wasted so much time feeling insecure and I really hate myself for it. Now I have all the confidence in the world, but am lacking a bit in the looks department Funny how that works.

 

[Laila619]

I don't let others control how I feel about myself. I am a realist and understand how others view people but I go by a different value system and accept that physical appearance is superficial and does not make a person beautiful where it counts.

Just because I am young and pretty (talking in the general sense here not about me specifically) doesn't mean I am more valuable than someone who is less young and less pretty. Just because I am older and not as youthful and pretty doesn't make me any less important than someone who is younger and more beautiful. I am much more than my superficial appearance.

I don't (and won't) tie my self worth to my physical appearance. However I credit my parents for that because when I was growing up they always taught me what is important and valuable and it had nothing to do with looks. So I internalized my self worth separate from how I looked and developed a strong sense of self that is in no way tied to physical features.

Having said that I want to be the best me possible re appearance but I also accept that is different than how I looked 20 years ago. And it is OK. Because there is no other alternative. I am content and happy and if one connects one's happiness based on their appearance one is bound to be disappointed eventually should one live long enough that is.


CJ, I am a homebody too and that is OK! I love being home and with my kitties and my dh. It is so cozy and it is a happy loving place to be. All good!

Missy, this is fantastic! Wish my parents had done this for me.

My parents were always making judgmental comments about my looks growing up. As a result, I feel like a lot of my identity and self-worth is tied up in my appearance. Now that I am 34, a mom of four, I have hypothyroidism, and my stomach is no longer flat, I feel like how could my husband possibly still find me hot. The young ladies walking around the mall are so much more fit and, well, young!

 

[momhappy]

I wouldn't say that I tie my entire self-worth to my physical appearance, but I value it greatly. It keeps me motivated to stay in shape, put effort into my appearance, etc. Aging makes me feel anxious. I can't stand the thought of looking old. I sometimes wonder if I will hit some magic age where I stop caring - stop wearing makeup, cut my hair off, go gray, stop caring about what I wear…. I don't want to be that person. Maybe I won't care. Or maybe I'll be the most stylish lady in the nursing home

 

[junebug17]

About 8 years ago I went to see my nephew's band at a bar and ran into an ex-relative of my sister's who I hadn't seen in years. She sat down next to me and started talking to my mother, and I finally said something and she told me she was sorry she didn't say hello, she didn't know it was me. Apparently she didn't recognize me. She tried to explain it away by telling me she was having problems with her eyes. It was, and is, very upsetting and a bad memory for me. I really wish she had just pretended she knew who I was.

Sorry junebug

We all have scars like this that no matter how much time goes by are always there.

I remember some moments from high school and my younger days in my 20s that feel like they happened yesterday. And they are always about comparisons - good and bad (meaning one memory is someone saying something negative about me compared with the girls I was with - another is someone saying something positive to me and negative to the girl I was with) or about specific body parts said to me at one point or another (these seem to be all negative).

Junebug, did she mean it in a negative way? Maybe you looked so good, that looked even better than before. Or maybe she has a very bad memory. Maybe she doesn't even really remember who you are. I hope you don't take it too hard. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. I forget people all the time. And 8 years is a long time.

Junebug, I had the same the thoughts as LLJsmom. It probably is because you look so good! Also 8 years is a long time.

Thanks ladies - This was my sister's ex-SIL. She is an extremely nice person, and I had seen her often during my 20's while my sister was married to her brother. (I don't know, that might make her my SIL, I always get confused by that). She was at my wedding. I guess I hadn't seen her in about 15 years. I just took it to mean that I had aged so much she didn't recognize me. She had no problem remembering my mother! She seemed to feel embarrassed about not acknowledging me initially. At least she recognized me at our nephew's wedding a few years later. Eh, I'm over it for the most part, I was having a pity party when I posted, but it does bother me a little sometimes.

 

[ennui]

I hate aging. I don't want to be old. I don't want to look old. Most of all, I wish I appreciated how GREAT I used to look! When I was younger, I was very self conscious. I did not think I was hot, or sexy. But DAMN I was. I wasted so much time feeling insecure and I really hate myself for it. Now I have all the confidence in the world, but am lacking a bit in the looks department Funny how that works.

You're not alone. I remember an interview with Delta Burke, and she was talking about exactly the same thing, being insecure, etc. Now, she says she looks back and thinks she was a goddess, and she missed it by worrying about stupid stuff.

We all miss out on that, I think. All young women are beautiful, because they are young. An older woman has so many better qualities.

Eh, whatever. “The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is why he made so many of them.” ― Abraham Lincoln

 

[Polished]

Junebug - I think it's actually ok and natural to grieve a bit for the looks of one's youth. You seem completely aware of the things that are more important so admitting to this fact of life is probably quite a healthy thing. I know I can sometimes look at a recent photo of myself and think omg what's that chin about? I'm not keen on photos these days unless they're of my daughters. I was at a make-up/skin care counter recently complaining to the assistant that my mirror accentuated the bags under my eyes and what should I do about it. Her advice was to get a different mirror. Wise woman, a little humour goes along way with this issue. The mirror thing - does anyone know why some mirrors can be quite flattering to your looks, while others can turn you into a gothic horror?

 

[momhappy]

I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

 

[Maria D]

I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

When my husband started using a magnifying mirror for shaving I stayed away from it for these very reasons! But now, years later and with older eyes, I need it to put eyeliner on properly

I'm in my mid fifties and find that instead of feeling down about not *looking* as youthful (as I sometimes did in my 40s) I really miss *feeling* youthful. I HAVE to wear my glasses for reading now. Where the hell are they? And why do simple things, like sleeping in the same position for too long, make me ache! Seriously, my main motivator for getting up in the morning is LYING DOWN for too long makes me achy.

The other day I went for a walk with my mid-eighties mother. The woman still has tons of energy. At first I was fixated on her varicose veins thinking what should I be doing now to prevent that??? But then I realized, sh*t, this woman is keeping up with me and she's in her 80s. If I can make it to her age and have her health I will be nothing but grateful. (But yeah I will still be looking up varicose vein prevention).

The title of this thread cracks me up. I'm waiting for someone to come on and say , woo hoo I LOVE it!! Age me faster!!

 

[momhappy]

^Yes, I think feeling grateful for health pretty much goes without saying. I would be pleased as punch to be an energetic 80-something. Unfortunately, that doesn't make looking and feeling older any easier.

 

[CJ2008]

I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

I actually bought this for myself (the Simple Human one that's lighted) and I love it for putting on makeup. But, I make sure not to focus on my imperfections, just on the makeup

I don't know what I did without it all these years - I think young or old, every woman needs this mirror! There are times when I think I blended my makeup properly and when I look in that mirror plus I have some areas of my face that are extra dry and even though in a regular mirror I don't really see the makeup grabbing on I do when I look in that mirror, so I can add a little more moisturizer etc. until it looks smooth. So now I use it all the time.

 

[CJ2008]

I received a magnifying mirror as a Christmas gift one year. At first, I thought it would be great for putting on makeup, etc., but I quickly realized how awful it was. It highlighted every teeny-tiny imperfection and it made me obsessed with my skin, aging, etc. It lasted about a week and I got rid of it. No one needs that kind of pressure It's sort of like owning a scale (which I don't) because I don't need the added pressure of weighing myself every day.

When my husband started using a magnifying mirror for shaving I stayed away from it for these very reasons! But now, years later and with older eyes, I need it to put eyeliner on properly

I'm in my mid fifties and find that instead of feeling down about not *looking* as youthful (as I sometimes did in my 40s) I really miss *feeling* youthful. I HAVE to wear my glasses for reading now. Where the hell are they? And why do simple things, like sleeping in the same position for too long, make me ache! Seriously, my main motivator for getting up in the morning is LYING DOWN for too long makes me achy.

The other day I went for a walk with my mid-eighties mother. The woman still has tons of energy. At first I was fixated on her varicose veins thinking what should I be doing now to prevent that??? But then I realized, sh*t, this woman is keeping up with me and she's in her 80s. If I can make it to her age and have her health I will be nothing but grateful. (But yeah I will still be looking up varicose vein prevention).

The title of this thread cracks me up. I'm waiting for someone to come on and say , woo hoo I LOVE it!! Age me faster!!

ETA "woo hoo I LOVE it!! Age me faster!!"

Maria, I think that is the perfect "blend" for me - I want to feel grateful for being here and for any good things (energy, wisdom, etc.) but at the same time I still want to care about what I look like. I still want to dress stylish - I still want to be polite and not grouchy - I still want to get frequent haircuts and get my hair styled so I look put together.

I love when I see people in their 70s and 80s with clean, pressed, stylish clothing who look well kept. That's what I want to look like. And hopefully I will also feel grateful for my life and the good things I have, even if I longer have my looks.