Ladies, how do you feel about aging?

[momhappy]

jaysonsmom - it doesn't look like there's much fat there. Kybella, while extremely impressive, is more for people with turkey neck/double chin. If the area bothers you, do some research on a good plastic surgeon's office in your area (someone who specializes in laser treatments, etc.) and go in for a consultation. If you'd rather just try some topical stuff, there are lots of good products on the market specifically for the neck area.

 

[missy]

Mom Happy, I could not agree with you more about the magnified mirror. The only problem is without it I would not be able to put on my make up. Well I guess I could but it would not end being where it should be. One of the many joys of being in your fifties.

I took my very first selfie yesterday. I haven't taken a picture of any kind in a few years and was going to send my picture to an online girlfriend. I always avoid cameras at all cost. Do selfies make your nose look bigger? My nose looks huge but they do say your nose and ears get bigger as you age. Another wonderful joy of aging....NOT! Needless to say I most certainly will never take another selfie. I didn't even get up the nerve to send the darn picture.

Junebug, One of my neighbors commented that I didn't look like the same person that is in my wedding pictures. I was devastated but then about two week later I was dropping off something for the same friend. They were having some painting done in their home at the time. The painting company owner had dropped by to check out the work. He walked in the room and said Callie How the heck are you?
I had not seen this guy for over 35 years. I figured I must not have changed that much if some person I knew in High School knew it was me right away. Just because one person made a comment like that doesn't mean others would not recognize you right away.

Haha yes yes they do. LOL.

I was re-reading this thread today and talking to a coworker about it.... I still stand by what I posted earlier about still feeling pretty good about my face and body....when said coworker reminded me that you can always tell a woman's age from her hands and neck. Well, gosh darn it! I thought I could get away with saying I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, but apparently my neck giving my age away! Anyone know a good remedy for sagging neck skin?

Do you moisturize your neck? That is supposed to help and of course wearing sunscreen. Have you read that book by Nora Ephron? Hysterical. "I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman"
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/27/books/27masl.html?_r=0

Just read the NYtimes review. Sounds like a hoot. Will have to get the book! Thanks!

I have been moisturizing my neck for about 6 months, only because I noticed the beginnings of a turkey neck....I'm almost 43, so literally a few months away from hiding my neck forever according to Ms. Ephron!

Yes I wish I was more diligent about moisturizing my neck as I too just started. And I'm 50. So far my neck is good but I realize these things can happen overnight. I'm ready though. Maybe young people on the train will offer me a seat when that happens haha. There is a disadvantage to looking younger than your age. No one offers you a seat after a long exhausting day LOL.

 

[momhappy]

Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.

I hope you won't feel that way momhappy as you age. That it is an uphill battle. That you are going to war. That's a challenging way to live.

Life can be such a struggle already and I see some women absolutely miserable when things beyond their control appearance wise changes how they feel about themselves. In fact I know 2 women (not well) who committed suicide as they aged because they were so very unhappy with the change in their appearance as they got older. Such a tragic thing and so terribly sad for their families who valued them for so much more than their appearance.

It doesn't seem healthy putting that much importance on one's physical appearance . I'm with Chrono. What is important is remaining healthy and strong in body and mind. Being able to enjoy what you love doing with whom you love doing it.

I am not saying don't take care of yourself but just don't place too much importance on your appearance because there is only so much you can control. Instead cherish the fact you are strong, healthy and able to enjoy time with your dh, kids and loved ones. Remember there is a middle ground. You can take care of yourself and maximize your appearance but don't place too much importance on it where it can make you feel badly about yourself.

FWIW my dermatologist told me that even when I am 80 I will still care about my appearance. It is just the way things are. So I do understand. But all I am saying is don't place too much meaning/importance on your appearance or you will end up unhappy eventually. Keep it in perspective.

Frankly, aging is miserable - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Having said that, I completely agree with the member who said that aging is better than the alternative I'm not going to kill myself over my looks, but I'm not going to be pleased as punch over losing them either. It's a balance. I'm sure that my "scale" is tipped a bit on the unhealthy side when it comes to how I view and/or maintain my physical appearance, but I have lots of other great things going on in my life, which doesn't allow me to be entirely obsessed with the process

 

[missy]

Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.

I hope you won't feel that way momhappy as you age. That it is an uphill battle. That you are going to war. That's a challenging way to live.

Life can be such a struggle already and I see some women absolutely miserable when things beyond their control appearance wise changes how they feel about themselves. In fact I know 2 women (not well) who committed suicide as they aged because they were so very unhappy with the change in their appearance as they got older. Such a tragic thing and so terribly sad for their families who valued them for so much more than their appearance.

It doesn't seem healthy putting that much importance on one's physical appearance . I'm with Chrono. What is important is remaining healthy and strong in body and mind. Being able to enjoy what you love doing with whom you love doing it.

I am not saying don't take care of yourself but just don't place too much importance on your appearance because there is only so much you can control. Instead cherish the fact you are strong, healthy and able to enjoy time with your dh, kids and loved ones. Remember there is a middle ground. You can take care of yourself and maximize your appearance but don't place too much importance on it where it can make you feel badly about yourself.

FWIW my dermatologist told me that even when I am 80 I will still care about my appearance. It is just the way things are. So I do understand. But all I am saying is don't place too much meaning/importance on your appearance or you will end up unhappy eventually. Keep it in perspective.

Frankly, aging is miserable - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Having said that, I completely agree with the member who said that aging is better than the alternative I'm not going to kill myself over my looks, but I'm not going to be pleased as punch over losing them either. It's a balance. I'm sure that my "scale" is tipped a bit on the unhealthy side when it comes to how I view and/or maintain my physical appearance, but I have lots of other great things going on in my life, which doesn't allow me to be entirely obsessed with the process

Yes a balance is good. But hopefully you will also change your mind regarding aging since if we are all lucky enough we will get to do it so might as well look at the positives. What I look forward to is growing old with my dh. Seeing my nieces grow up to be lovely young adults and good people.

IDK it seems as if the middle part and beyond of our life together will get even better because we will have more time and money to do the things we love doing when we want to do them. Growing older gives us more freedom. At least I sure hope it does and that is what I am looking forward to. It's not all bad if we are lucky enough to remain healthy and grow old with our loved ones.

 

[arkieb1]

 

[momhappy]

Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.

I hope you won't feel that way momhappy as you age. That it is an uphill battle. That you are going to war. That's a challenging way to live.

Life can be such a struggle already and I see some women absolutely miserable when things beyond their control appearance wise changes how they feel about themselves. In fact I know 2 women (not well) who committed suicide as they aged because they were so very unhappy with the change in their appearance as they got older. Such a tragic thing and so terribly sad for their families who valued them for so much more than their appearance.

It doesn't seem healthy putting that much importance on one's physical appearance . I'm with Chrono. What is important is remaining healthy and strong in body and mind. Being able to enjoy what you love doing with whom you love doing it.

I am not saying don't take care of yourself but just don't place too much importance on your appearance because there is only so much you can control. Instead cherish the fact you are strong, healthy and able to enjoy time with your dh, kids and loved ones. Remember there is a middle ground. You can take care of yourself and maximize your appearance but don't place too much importance on it where it can make you feel badly about yourself.

FWIW my dermatologist told me that even when I am 80 I will still care about my appearance. It is just the way things are. So I do understand. But all I am saying is don't place too much meaning/importance on your appearance or you will end up unhappy eventually. Keep it in perspective.

Frankly, aging is miserable - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Having said that, I completely agree with the member who said that aging is better than the alternative I'm not going to kill myself over my looks, but I'm not going to be pleased as punch over losing them either. It's a balance. I'm sure that my "scale" is tipped a bit on the unhealthy side when it comes to how I view and/or maintain my physical appearance, but I have lots of other great things going on in my life, which doesn't allow me to be entirely obsessed with the process

Yes a balance is good. But hopefully you will also change your mind regarding aging since if we are all lucky enough we will get to do it so might as well look at the positives. What I look forward to is growing old with my dh. Seeing my nieces grow up to be lovely young adults and good people.

IDK it seems as if the middle part and beyond of our life together will get even better because we will have more time and money to do the things we love doing when we want to do them. Growing older gives us more freedom. At least I sure hope it does and that is what I am looking forward to. It's not all bad if we are lucky enough to remain healthy and grow old with our loved ones.

Missy - I agree with you about all of these things. However, OP began this thread asking mostly about the physical aspects of aging (and subsequently, how that makes us feel mentally/emotionally). It goes without saying that one would be grateful to have their health, cherished time with loved ones, etc. If my posts seem like they are geared only towards my looks, it's because they are (because I was addressing OPs original questions). I just wanted to add that so that someone doesn't think that I am entirely superficial

 

[Sunstorm]

I feel awesome about myself. I never thought that youth was so hard until I grew older. I am not quite yet 40 though, in a few months.

I do feel way better than when I was 30 or 20, perhaps I am a late maturer or perhaps most women are. I do feel that I have just hit my peak, many women do around this age.

But as I said I am not really truly aging yet. I guess I am lucky as my parents looked their best in their 40s. I am not getting lines or grey hair but my mother does not have any grey hair either and neither did my grandmother when she died. I inherited that and my father´s skin.

Most often I love my body, I love to embrace, I love to bring out my best features which are legs and upper body. I have always hated my belly but being thinner does not really look good on me. I am not thin at around 130 but I do not feel fat either. Well, except some days I think I look like a whale. Then I have my dieting times. No matter what anyone says, I have family members with a completely different body type who comment on my body, I still feel great.

I love being a woman, I always have, every since I was 5 year old I wore dresses, painted my nails since 10 and used makeup since 13. I have used skincare since 12. I am definitely the type of woman who you will not catch dead in sneakers or pants.

If and as I get older and lose more and more of looks perhaps, that is fine, it is not about looks, it is about style, inner beauty that radiates and will still love being a woman only adapt as I have. When there is nothing else left, there will always be bling, bling that makes you happy and feel beautiful.

Health is a concern but as I have had problems since I was a child, I am used to them. They are likely to get worse with age and new ones may crop up but the only thing I am scared to death of is cancer. Otherwise let anything come my way, I will live with it.

Life is beautiful.

 

[missy]

Why are we fighting a losing battle? Why is it so difficult for most women to accept aging as a natural process and that by the time we at 80, there's really nothing to be done about it? This is puzzling for me as I've never bothered with such things. Even if one slows it down with surgery and what not, how long can time be staved off? Is it such a terrible thing to see your face as it really is in a magnified mirror?

I think I see 2 different sides to this. Those in the 30s and 40s are very concerned with their physical image but those in their 50s and 60s, having lived through that period before, are more concerned with mental and physical health as they understand there's only so much you can do to make yourself look younger and we know that it is impossible for a 60 year old to ever look like a 30 year old.

Because for me, fighting the battle (even if it is an uphill one) means that I'm trying/fighting. The alternative is not trying/not fighting, which is equivalent to giving up/quitting. I am not anywhere near ready to give up the fight. I still feel young, I still care what I look like, I still want to be pretty. Therefore, I will keep fighting I think that even when I'm in my 50s-60s, I'll still care & still keep up the fight.

I hope you won't feel that way momhappy as you age. That it is an uphill battle. That you are going to war. That's a challenging way to live.

Life can be such a struggle already and I see some women absolutely miserable when things beyond their control appearance wise changes how they feel about themselves. In fact I know 2 women (not well) who committed suicide as they aged because they were so very unhappy with the change in their appearance as they got older. Such a tragic thing and so terribly sad for their families who valued them for so much more than their appearance.

It doesn't seem healthy putting that much importance on one's physical appearance . I'm with Chrono. What is important is remaining healthy and strong in body and mind. Being able to enjoy what you love doing with whom you love doing it.

I am not saying don't take care of yourself but just don't place too much importance on your appearance because there is only so much you can control. Instead cherish the fact you are strong, healthy and able to enjoy time with your dh, kids and loved ones. Remember there is a middle ground. You can take care of yourself and maximize your appearance but don't place too much importance on it where it can make you feel badly about yourself.

FWIW my dermatologist told me that even when I am 80 I will still care about my appearance. It is just the way things are. So I do understand. But all I am saying is don't place too much meaning/importance on your appearance or you will end up unhappy eventually. Keep it in perspective.

Frankly, aging is miserable - physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. Having said that, I completely agree with the member who said that aging is better than the alternative I'm not going to kill myself over my looks, but I'm not going to be pleased as punch over losing them either. It's a balance. I'm sure that my "scale" is tipped a bit on the unhealthy side when it comes to how I view and/or maintain my physical appearance, but I have lots of other great things going on in my life, which doesn't allow me to be entirely obsessed with the process

Yes a balance is good. But hopefully you will also change your mind regarding aging since if we are all lucky enough we will get to do it so might as well look at the positives. What I look forward to is growing old with my dh. Seeing my nieces grow up to be lovely young adults and good people.

IDK it seems as if the middle part and beyond of our life together will get even better because we will have more time and money to do the things we love doing when we want to do them. Growing older gives us more freedom. At least I sure hope it does and that is what I am looking forward to. It's not all bad if we are lucky enough to remain healthy and grow old with our loved ones.

Missy - I agree with you about all of these things. However, OP began this thread asking mostly about the physical aspects of aging (and subsequently, how that makes us feel mentally/emotionally). It goes without saying that one would be grateful to have their health, cherished time with loved ones, etc. If my posts seem like they are geared only towards my looks, it's because they are (because I was addressing OPs original questions). I just wanted to add that so that someone doesn't think that I am entirely superficial

Haha no I understand. Aging can be challenging and the more one's head is on straight so to speak the easier and better it is. I think that is why with age usually comes wisdom. Cause we sure need it a whole lot more by then LOL.

 

[chrono]

Aging can be challenging and the more one's head is on straight so to speak the easier and better it is. I think that is why with age usually comes wisdom. Cause we sure need it a whole lot more by then LOL.

Missy's written explanation and opinion puts it into words more diplomatically than I can. I agree that aging isn't always easy but the less we focus on the aging part, the less stressful and depressing it will be.

 

[ennui]

It doesn't matter if your head is on straight when you are fighting with those silly fishhook clasps on pearls. Or trying to read the instructions on a package. It's the manual dexterity and failing eyesight that are challenges!