HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged!!!

[december-fire]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Congratulations on your engagement!

Do you plan on wearing a wedding band with your engagement ring? If so, you might want to try on various wedding bands with the engagement ring; it can affect the overall appearance.

Good luck with determining what's right for you and your FI!

 

[motownmama]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

My 2 cents:

1 cent = my ER actually started to look larger (crazy, I know) when I realized the quality. I also try to keep it scrupulously clean!

1 Cent = I inherited my mom's 2.25 set in 6-prong plat solitaire. I would only wear it occasionally b/c it wasn't practical for ME for every day wear with 4 kids, assorted pets etc. SO, for my lifestyle it was "too big" (horrors!) I did get it reset in a "low as you can go" bezel 3-stone RHR - I know it still looks very big, but to me it's much more wearable. I continue to wear my 1.02 ctw ER.

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

P.S. Your ring is the featured "diamond eye candy" right now on this website!

Thanks for letting me know!!! This is so awesome

 

[pfunk]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I'm a male so I'm seeing things from the other side of the fence.

The ring you have is far from small, but more to the point, it is exactly what you had wanted. Your FI has done everything you asked and in such a short period of time you are wanting more. If I was in his position I would be feeling somewhat offended. At this point its not about size, its not about money.. but the principal. The ring is just the token, the real meaning is in the proposal, and the love is in the relationship itself. Think about whats really important here..

Again, just my opinion, and hope I haven't offended you.

Another guy here who will echo what Kobi has stated. As it sounds like you are very well set financially, maybe your guy didn't spend hours upon hours trying to educate himself on how to pick out the very best diamond because he had the money to simply buy a great one straight away. But, perhaps he is like myself who has spent MANY, MANY hours trying to educate myself to make sure I got the very best I could for the budget I have. We (guys) want to do everything we can to make sure we get you a ring that will be a fair representation of the amount of undying love we have for you. Believe me, it is stressful trying to make sure we have thought EVERYTHING through to make sure we got it perfect.

If my fiance after 3 months asked me if she could get a bigger one because she was having DSS, I certainly wouldn't get upset towards her and act like that bothered me. But honestly, it would definitely hurt my feelings, though I likely wouldn't admit that to her because I wouldn't want her to feel guilty or something.

I guess I feel like if it were me that was given a beautiful ring worth thousands of dollars (that is meant to be a symbol of the promise of an unending love), I would look at it every day and think of what that ring means as opposed to how much you like the size or look of it. Because trust me, someone who loves you so very much put a lot of thought into trying to get you the ring that would make your heart sing. It mean's a lot to us guys too. Even though it isn't ours to wear, it is still a symbol of something that we hold very dear.

I'd say you are free to ask for any other piece of jewelry you might be interested in, but to ask so soon to upgrade an engagement ring seems to sure be asking a lot. Just my point of view, which obviously doesn't have any bearing on your choice whatsoever. Just thought I'd add another male perspective.

 

[heididdl]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I go back and forth about your situation. You have the money but you have many years together. I disliked my first 1 pear and 20 years later I lost my mother and inheriited her 3.66 EC. I don't have DSS now. However. your current ring is drop dead gorgous and 2 carats is nothing to sneeze about. Then the other side is if he agrees and money is not an issue do it. lol

 

[swingirl]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I don't think you'll be able to use the same setting. What will you do with the current stone and setting?

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I don't think you'll be able to use the same setting. What will you do with the current stone and setting?

Yes, I would have to get a whole new ring made if I want the same setting with a 3ct. IF this is something I go through with we would trade in the 2ct and put it towards the 3ct. My FI knows a lot about diamonds and has connections in NY so "IF" I decide to do this we would make a trip to NY and get a setting made or look for a whole new setting once I found the stone.

Some OP's said to look for other shapes that face up larger. I am open. Right now I like the look of the radiants because it's unique and not too many people have them. RB are always classic but I just wanted to be different We'll see what happens. Nothing is set in stone. I want to try some of the advice I was given here from PS and then see if I still want to get that 3 ct. Will keep everyone posted!

 

[Zizzy]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

First of all congratulations on your engagement!
Your current ring is stunning and very large on your finger. If you went for a 3 carat would you still halo it? If so I think it might be too chunky on your slender hand to look elegant and will start looking more ghetto/fake. Without a halo it would look lovely still.
However I think the advice you've had of buying a CZ (from Wink?) in the size and style you think you want, is brilliant.
Looking at your ring in the mirror or in photos is also key. My 2.02 carat RB sometimes looks small to me (I could so rock a 3 carat!) but looking in the mirror puts me right.
Given the price increase from 2 carats to 3 is exponential, and given the sentimental aspect, I wouldn't rush into changing it. It is gorgeous and very large but still elegant in its current glory.
Maybe a 3+ carat as a right hand ring soon if you're financially in such a good place? If you want to wear your e-ring every day for the rest of your life, you might regret going larger if you have babies etc.
Your fiance is a brick! Wishing you every happiness!

 

[msop04]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I don't think you'll be able to use the same setting. What will you do with the current stone and setting?

Yes, I would have to get a whole new ring made if I want the same setting with a 3ct. IF this is something I go through with we would trade in the 2ct and put it towards the 3ct. My FI knows a lot about diamonds and has connections in NY so "IF" I decide to do this we would make a trip to NY and get a setting made or look for a whole new setting once I found the stone.

Some OP's said to look for other shapes that face up larger. I am open. Right now I like the look of the radiants because it's unique and not too many people have them. RB are always classic but I just wanted to be different We'll see what happens. Nothing is set in stone. I want to try some of the advice I was given here from PS and then see if I still want to get that 3 ct. Will keep everyone posted!

MrsWhite, are you aware that a 3 ct radiant can face up like a 2.2 ct round? I think you need to see what dimensions you think will cure your DSS, then go from there... I agree with Niel on maybe rethinking shapes. Marquise face up HUGE, and they are certainly not as common as rounds or "square shapes", so that could be an option for you...

Here is a marquise that made me think of you -- good MQ's are difficult to find, and this one is lovely -- and huge.

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/marquise-cut/2.75-carat-e-color-vs2-clarity-sku-126493

 

[msop04]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

First of all congratulations on your engagement!
Your current ring is stunning and very large on your finger. If you went for a 3 carat would you still halo it? If so I think it might be too chunky on your slender hand to look elegant and will start looking more ghetto/fake. Without a halo it would look lovely still.
However I think the advice you've had of buying a CZ (from Wink?) in the size and style you think you want, is brilliant.
Looking at your ring in the mirror or in photos is also key. My 2.02 carat RB sometimes looks small to me (I could so rock a 3 carat!) but looking in the mirror puts me right.

This is so true, Zizzy... Why do our rings always look larger in a mirror??? (sorry for the threadjack, but I have noticed this as well)

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Zizzy,
You are right about the mirror aspect. When I catch my ring in the mirror it's a different look then when I look down at my finger....weird how that works. I am not 100% set on changing anything. PS just has a way of making a girl want bigger and better I wanted to reach out to other ladies dealing with DSS or wanting a bigger diamond just to get input and different perspectives. Like I said in my previous posts, money is not an issued factor. The FI and I are on the same page. We are humble and blessed for our situation. "You only live once, get what you want" is kind of our motto. We both work hard for the things that we have/want. With that being said, I'm going to let it sink in and see how I feel. There is no rush, no pressure. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for your insight!

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

msop04,
Thanks for sending that my way! I appreciate it! I will definitely look into different shapes. I know everyone says you get more bang for your buck if you go round because rounds face up way bigger in comparison. Maybe do a RB in a custom made setting so it's unique and different?? I didn't realize "finger coverage" was a thing until I saw the phrase on PS lol but I think a RB 2ct with a halo would give me the coverage I want.

 

[Rena7]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

You have a gorgeous ring so you can spend sometime looking around and thinking about what you would ultimately want. Since money isn't a problem I would go ahead and get a bigger stone after you spend some more time shopping and trying on different sizes. Have fun with it and congratulations on your engagement.

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

You have a gorgeous ring so you can spend sometime looking around and thinking about what you would ultimately want. Since money isn't a problem I would go ahead and get a bigger stone after you spend some more time shopping and trying on different sizes. Have fun with it and congratulations on your engagement.

Thank you so much!!!

 

[msop04]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Zizzy,
You are right about the mirror aspect. When I catch my ring in the mirror it's a different look then when I look down at my finger....weird how that works. I am not 100% set on changing anything. PS just has a way of making a girl want bigger and better I wanted to reach out to other ladies dealing with DSS or wanting a bigger diamond just to get input and different perspectives. Like I said in my previous posts, money is not an issued factor. The FI and I are on the same page. We are humble and blessed for our situation. "You only live once, get what you want" is kind of our motto. We both work hard for the things that we have/want. With that being said, I'm going to let it sink in and see how I feel. There is no rush, no pressure. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for your insight!

Isn't it funny how PS can do this... yet we can't look away? LOL I understand completely. I had a 2 ct MRB picked out originally, then had the opportunity to "upgrade" to a 2.43 prior to the proposal -- and you better believe I took it! It's true that rounds face up larger than some other cuts, and they also have the best light performance IMO, so I do believe that may be a good choice for you...

For reference, I have a size 5.25 finger... 2.43 (8.7 mm) in a halo. Good luck with your search!

The beloved "mirror shot" (soooo not what I see, but hey... mirrors don't lie, right?? HA!)

 

[packrat]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

HNL, I love your ring---but I can see where my priorities are right now b/c I'm wishing your arm was more in the picture so I could see your tattoo!

OP, I like the suggestion of looking at a different shape.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I'm torn. If you KNOW your ultimate final size, and if you have the money, go for it.

If you may like something different, or can see yourself still going up after getting to 3 carats, then just wait until you KNOW know.

Upgrading and DSS can strike quickly. We seen it on PS, and I've only been here less than 3 years. I would not be one to judge.

From my experience as one who recently discovered a love for jewelry in general and diamonds in specific, wait to see where your true desires and love lies. I got an MRB. If I could do it over, I would probably aim for a humongo asscher with side traps, a la Puppy4248. But I will not undo what I already did. My next ring would be an upgrade of my current ring (unlikely b/c I love the setting) or adding a cushion shape in a halo of some sort.

But it can take some people a long time to figure it out. It did for me, and it sure took more than 3 months. I think it is wise for you to give yourself time with your ring, to figure out what you don't like as much as figuring out what you like.

 

[walkersareit]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I can't speak on diamonds. In fact, if you want some humor, read up my new ring.

However, I think I have a little experience in the marriage department. We will be celebrating 25 years of marriage on the 27th. When you speak of your fiancee, your terms of endearment are how I feel about my sweet hubby. He can walk into a room and my heart still goes pitter patter. Sure, we have had our moments just like any two married persons, but his overwhelming desire to please me has made me look internally at myself. It's probably what draws me even more to him even though we both are aging and not looking the same as we did 25 years ago.

Even though most men may not openly admit it, a man's feelings are very tender and need to be nurtured. They may say it doesn't bother them, but it really does down deep.

Unfortunately, early on in our marriage I received a gift that I didn't think was worthy of the moment. It didn't meet my expectations. I learned later he had spent a great deal of time picking out the gift. I saw it had crushed his spirit when he realized I wasn't content with the gift I had received. I was young and insensitive, but through the course of the years, his giving heart has turned this young, insensitive person to look at the intentions of the heart and not the physical gift.

This gift he gave you was from the heart and you will never be able to put a price on the emotions that went into buying it just for you. I think the gentlemen on this thread are admirable for giving their thoughts on this. I truly believe they hit the nail on the head.

Congratulations on your engagement and cherish the wonderful man who will one day be your husband. What a wonderful treasure!

 

[RandG]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I don't think you'll be able to use the same setting. What will you do with the current stone and setting?

Yes, I would have to get a whole new ring made if I want the same setting with a 3ct. IF this is something I go through with we would trade in the 2ct and put it towards the 3ct. My FI knows a lot about diamonds and has connections in NY so "IF" I decide to do this we would make a trip to NY and get a setting made or look for a whole new setting once I found the stone.

Some OP's said to look for other shapes that face up larger. I am open. Right now I like the look of the radiants because it's unique and not too many people have them. RB are always classic but I just wanted to be different We'll see what happens. Nothing is set in stone. I want to try some of the advice I was given here from PS and then see if I still want to get that 3 ct. Will keep everyone posted!

MrsWhite, are you aware that a 3 ct radiant can face up like a 2.2 ct round? I think you need to see what dimensions you think will cure your DSS, then go from there... I agree with Niel on maybe rethinking shapes. Marquise face up HUGE, and they are certainly not as common as rounds or "square shapes", so that could be an option for you...

Here is a marquise that made me think of you -- good MQ's are difficult to find, and this one is lovely -- and huge.

http://www.jamesallen.com/loose-diamonds/marquise-cut/2.75-carat-e-color-vs2-clarity-sku-126493

Absolutely stunning marquise!

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Zizzy,
You are right about the mirror aspect. When I catch my ring in the mirror it's a different look then when I look down at my finger....weird how that works. I am not 100% set on changing anything. PS just has a way of making a girl want bigger and better I wanted to reach out to other ladies dealing with DSS or wanting a bigger diamond just to get input and different perspectives. Like I said in my previous posts, money is not an issued factor. The FI and I are on the same page. We are humble and blessed for our situation. "You only live once, get what you want" is kind of our motto. We both work hard for the things that we have/want. With that being said, I'm going to let it sink in and see how I feel. There is no rush, no pressure. I will keep everyone posted. Thanks for your insight!

Isn't it funny how PS can do this... yet we can't look away? LOL I understand completely. I had a 2 ct MRB picked out originally, then had the opportunity to "upgrade" to a 2.43 prior to the proposal -- and you better believe I took it! It's true that rounds face up larger than some other cuts, and they also have the best light performance IMO, so I do believe that may be a good choice for you...

For reference, I have a size 5.25 finger... 2.43 (8.7 mm) in a halo. Good luck with your search!

The beloved "mirror shot" (soooo not what I see, but hey... mirrors don't lie, right?? HA!)

GORGEOUS!!!!!!

 

[Diamoneecee]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I want to first congratulate you on your engagement!!!
It is a fine line to walk between what our wishes are, absent from anyone else and what the wants of the other person we love most in world is. Seeing the one we love totally happy brings us the greatest joy at times even to the putting aside of what we feel. It is a balance you will learn to walk and a growing of love through the years when you see it. As you know your fiancé better than anyone you must trust your feelings on this and do what it best for both of you. If you both are on the same page with this I say go for it. I will be celebrating 25 years myself March, and can tell you the ring no matter how big and bright will fade to the look of love and togetherness you will feel as a couple, so if doing this will be another source of joy anf memories for you, by all means do it because life is short.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I can't speak on diamonds. In fact, if you want some humor, read up my new ring.

However, I think I have a little experience in the marriage department. We will be celebrating 25 years of marriage on the 27th. When you speak of your fiancee, your terms of endearment are how I feel about my sweet hubby. He can walk into a room and my heart still goes pitter patter. Sure, we have had our moments just like any two married persons, but his overwhelming desire to please me has made me look internally at myself. It's probably what draws me even more to him even though we both are aging and not looking the same as we did 25 years ago.

Even though most men may not openly admit it, a man's feelings are very tender and need to be nurtured. They may say it doesn't bother them, but it really does down deep.

Unfortunately, early on in our marriage I received a gift that I didn't think was worthy of the moment. It didn't meet my expectations. I learned later he had spent a great deal of time picking out the gift. I saw it had crushed his spirit when he realized I wasn't content with the gift I had received. I was young and insensitive, but through the course of the years, his giving heart has turned this young, insensitive person to look at the intentions of the heart and not the physical gift.

This gift he gave you was from the heart and you will never be able to put a price on the emotions that went into buying it just for you. I think the gentlemen on this thread are admirable for giving their thoughts on this. I truly believe they hit the nail on the head.

Congratulations on your engagement and cherish the wonderful man who will one day be your husband. What a wonderful treasure!

Walkersareit, while I can understand and appreciate your sentiments, I would venture to say that each person's husband is unique and different. The OP's husband may not assign the same sentiments your husband did, or the same sentiments that any of the men that posted did. And maybe he did. I'm saying only the OP would know. So they should do what works for them. Although we each share our personal experiences, IMHO it would be a mistake to assume that her husband/their relationship would be adversely affected. They would be the best ones to determine that, and make their decision accordingly.

 

[IAmMrsWhite]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I can't speak on diamonds. In fact, if you want some humor, read up my new ring.

However, I think I have a little experience in the marriage department. We will be celebrating 25 years of marriage on the 27th. When you speak of your fiancee, your terms of endearment are how I feel about my sweet hubby. He can walk into a room and my heart still goes pitter patter. Sure, we have had our moments just like any two married persons, but his overwhelming desire to please me has made me look internally at myself. It's probably what draws me even more to him even though we both are aging and not looking the same as we did 25 years ago.

Even though most men may not openly admit it, a man's feelings are very tender and need to be nurtured. They may say it doesn't bother them, but it really does down deep.

Unfortunately, early on in our marriage I received a gift that I didn't think was worthy of the moment. It didn't meet my expectations. I learned later he had spent a great deal of time picking out the gift. I saw it had crushed his spirit when he realized I wasn't content with the gift I had received. I was young and insensitive, but through the course of the years, his giving heart has turned this young, insensitive person to look at the intentions of the heart and not the physical gift.

This gift he gave you was from the heart and you will never be able to put a price on the emotions that went into buying it just for you. I think the gentlemen on this thread are admirable for giving their thoughts on this. I truly believe they hit the nail on the head.

Congratulations on your engagement and cherish the wonderful man who will one day be your husband. What a wonderful treasure!

Walkersareit, while I can understand and appreciate your sentiments, I would venture to say that each person's husband is unique and different. The OP's husband may not assign the same sentiments your husband did, or the same sentiments that any of the men that posted did. And maybe he did. I'm saying only the OP would know. So they should do what works for them. Although we each share our personal experiences, IMHO it would be a mistake to assume that her husband/their relationship would be adversely affected. They would be the best ones to determine that, and make their decision accordingly.

I appreciate everyone's comment. BUT Well said! LLJsmom
My FI and I communicate great. It took me 5 years to FINALLY realize that this man says what he means and that's it! No its, buts, or ands. I would always "assume" how he feels or would feel about something rather then just asking him. I was wrong every time. He is true to his word. Simple Man. And I love him to pieces. I met him when I was 19. I am about to turn 26 in a week. Our 6 yr anniversary is tomorrow, Jan 23rd. He is truly the most amazing man I know. Treats me like a Queen! I know my wants and needs are different from everyone else. I am truly blessed to have someone who loves me unconditionally and who loves seeing me happy. A ring is a ring. Everyone has different tastes.

I actually let my FI read some of the comments and he was surprised at how some of you could assume how he felt when you don't even know him. You couldn't be more wrong about my hubs to be.

I made this post to get some insight about how some of you deal with this diamond frenzy of DSS....not to get bashed about it.

Thank you to those who get what this topic was about. I appreciate it!

Here are some proposal pics

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I buy diamonds for my wife if she doesn't love them she can always return the stones back to me...

 

[Mayk]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I wrote a post earlier that got eaten! I love your ring, I love that you picked an oblong radiant. I think your setting is fabulous... As for size... I get it and like most people here I have upgraded my center too and my setting. I am at a 2 ct and for me, for now it works... But if the people in my social and professional circle had larger diamonds... I'd go bigger For now I'm happy, but when I see a big beautiful Diamond the wheels start turning! This is why this is a dangerous place!

I love your pictures! Thank you for sharing!

 

[ElleElle]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

You and your fiancé are adorable! Congrats!
I have been married for 5 years, together 9 total. Was proposed to with a 1.81 round and upgraded last year to a 2.55 round. When I told my husband I wanted to upgrade he was not upset at all despite him researching for months with the first diamond. We had the money to upgrade and he knows I'm a jewelry and diamond fanatic so he figured if it made me happy it was worth it. If it's not going to break the bank or your relationship, I saw go for it!!!!!

 

[KobiD]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I don't think that anyone has assumed how your husband to be feels, or jumped on a bashing bandwagon. You are correct, that no one here can know your partner, or know how this makes him feel/not feel. We're all individuals, and you may be entirely right when you say that he's down with this and simply wants to meet your every desire. You've also been given insights from people who have been married for longer than you've been alive; while their relationships aren't explicitly the same as yours, they have clearly been doing something right and it seems (at least from my perspective) that no harm can come from listening and at least giving some worth to what they have said.

Also, just because your partner has no issues with the here and now while everything is peachy, it doesn't mean that 20 years later when rolling a rough patch that he won't remember this.. particularly if your troubles happen to be about something equally as trivial (in the grand scheme of things). Again, just an opinion from another simple man! But I'm not your partner and have no shares/interests in your relationship.

Once again, congratulations!

 

[VRBeauty]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

I think your ring looks lovely on your hand and I'm much too practical to address your question, so I won't, but do want to say congratulations and thank you for posting your engagement pictures - they're so sweet, and you guys make a cute couple!

 

[CRYSTAL24K]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Congratulations! Beautiful ring! Beautiful couple!

RE: DSS- If I were you, I would not upgrade at this point, but... I am not you. Only you can understand your partner, your situation and your desire to change or stay with your current ring.

Looking forward to seeing either your matching wedding band for your current stone/setting or a brand new e-ring from you! Whatever you decide, please post pics!

 

[Zizzy]

Re: HELP! DSS has set in less than 3 months of being engaged

Wow! Gorgeous photographs. You are incredibly beautiful and you and your fiancé make a lovely couple.