- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
ennui|1440460847|3918734 said:Chrono|1440422090|3918431 said:My question isn't posed to Az specifically but to all the posters who feel invisible. Why does turning people's heads matter? Why does commanding a room matter? Shouldn't that be done by confidence, not physical appearance or wealth? If nobody helps me in a store, I will go flag down a store assistant myself. I am sorry but I don't see why these are concerns.
So, when the clerk looks right at you, and doesn't see you, and turns to help a younger customer, do you grab the clerk by the arm? Yell, "HEY!" How do you flag down someone who's ignoring you?
The thing is, even if you DID do that...(because yes, if I'm a store and I need help and nobody's helping or they're ignoring me I will either leave if they're being rude to me or I will find someone to help me). This has not happened to me yet by the way - or not that I've noticed. Then again I don't shop much.
Point is the message you start to hear is: you don't matter.
That's why it takes a load of self confidence to know that you DO matter no matter what people do or say.
But I imagine as we get older some of those "messages" get tougher to ignore.
ETA: BTW one of the saddest parts for me in the documentary Queen of Versailles is when at one point she goes up to her husband for a kiss and he says "I don't want to kiss an old hag." Obviously he's an idiot, but I felt really sad for her in that moment - whether he meant it or not (and I have a feeling he meant every word of it.)