ksinger|1412318258|3761174 said:I will post this and let the chips fall where they may. It addresses at least part of the reason why we can't disagree in a discussion on ANYTHING, let alone politics, anymore, without someone getting their panties in a wad at the first hint of disagreement.
The Death of Expertise
http://thefederalist.com/2014/01/17/the-death-of-expertise/
Gypsy|1412310775|3761117 said:It is so tiring to be accused of bullying just because you disagree with someone, or have facts that contradict someone else. Not to mention the net nanny's that want everyone to always be "nice". Especially when they admonish you to be "nice" because having a different opinion is somehow not "nice". It drives me nutty. I'd rather have genuine than nice. Polite is the standard we have to adhere to per the moderators. What the "nice" squad doesn't realize is that they aren't moderators.
What's ironic is that these people don't realize THEY are the ones bullying. They cry "you are bullying me" to force people who don't agree with them to shut up. Same thing with the "nice" squad. They want to bully everyone into behaving the way THEY think it appropriate.
It is the reason I can't post on any substantive posts outside of Rocky Talky. I'll talk about stuff like a loss in my life or my cats or job hunt, but things that really mean something? No. It's not worth dealing with the bullying of the "nice" squad.
JaneSmith|1412355519|3761426 said:I believe that any topic can be discussed in a civil fashion, that ideas can be presented with reason and feeling without the need to denigrate the person writing.
Knowledge of a topic is not always limited to experts only, but we must have some responsibility to educate ourselves on our own cognitive biases as well as some basic maths, science, and critical thinking to be able to weigh the evidence presented by others, so we may contribute something of value to the discussion. We must apply the same skill to know which experts are the ones following the data and the scientific method.
People are free to give their opinions on their favourite jewel vendors and express their personal experiences in their lives, which is different from making claims that vaccines are bad or climate change isn't affected by humans.
Derogatory comments about a person's ignorance does not enlighten the person nor contribute to debate.
Derogatory comments about education and the pursuit of knowledge is really quite unhelpful. One does not have to have attended university to be intelligent.
I've said elsewhere that I enjoy the variety of viewpoints available on PS. It is interesting to see what people have to say.
Gypsy|1412310775|3761117 said:... It is the reason I can't post on any substantive posts outside of Rocky Talky. I'll talk about stuff like a loss in my life or my cats or job hunt, but things that really mean something? No. It's not worth dealing with the bullying of the "nice" squad.
kenny|1412361054|3761495 said:Gypsy|1412310775|3761117 said:... It is the reason I can't post on any substantive posts outside of Rocky Talky. I'll talk about stuff like a loss in my life or my cats or job hunt, but things that really mean something? No. It's not worth dealing with the bullying of the "nice" squad.
You wrote, "It is the reason I can't post on any substantive posts outside of Rocky Talky."
You can.
I do.
When the stupid reaches a certain threshold I just stop talking to that person.
When what people post is no more than gobbledegook you don't even have to respond.
Just let them have their temper tantrum.
packrat|1412361976|3761513 said:A difference in opinion is one thing. That's not what I was referring to. JD and I have differences in opinions all the time. And while I might be calling him names in my head and wanting to strangle him, I don't call him names out loud, and I keep my hands to myself. There are *times*, what I'm trying to say, when things get a little...over the top. When I think oh wow, if JD talked to me like that I think I'd pop him in the face. Or if my friend talked to me like that, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It's not like I expect a unicorn jump over us and fart rainbows and glitter-lord knows my expectations are not such. But I expect people to be civil, and I don't think that's too much to ask. That's not screaming someone is being a bully. Trapper cries and screams to me that I'm a bully when I tell him he can't ride his bike when the street lights are on. I think it goes both ways, quit being a whine baby pee pants throwing yourself to the ground b/c someone said "well huh, I guess I don't agree w/that". But if you don't agree w/someone, does it have to be w/a great gnashing of teeth and such an air of superiority and greatness that one of such lofty standards and knowledge deigned to speak to the great foolish masses? Why can't we just keep things civil and shut the [censored] up?
smitcompton|1412354634|3761413 said:Hi,
Once, after such a pounding one poster said she "loathed" the other poster. In fact Gypsy, AJ Deco and others were the pounders. It wasn't a decent discussion, you were killers, and enjoyed it. Then when the poster leaves, you call her a whiner. There are times you should stop.
Autumnovember|1412369521|3761608 said:packrat|1412361976|3761513 said:A difference in opinion is one thing. That's not what I was referring to. JD and I have differences in opinions all the time. And while I might be calling him names in my head and wanting to strangle him, I don't call him names out loud, and I keep my hands to myself. There are *times*, what I'm trying to say, when things get a little...over the top. When I think oh wow, if JD talked to me like that I think I'd pop him in the face. Or if my friend talked to me like that, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It's not like I expect a unicorn jump over us and fart rainbows and glitter-lord knows my expectations are not such. But I expect people to be civil, and I don't think that's too much to ask. That's not screaming someone is being a bully. Trapper cries and screams to me that I'm a bully when I tell him he can't ride his bike when the street lights are on. I think it goes both ways, quit being a whine baby pee pants throwing yourself to the ground b/c someone said "well huh, I guess I don't agree w/that". But if you don't agree w/someone, does it have to be w/a great gnashing of teeth and such an air of superiority and greatness that one of such lofty standards and knowledge deigned to speak to the great foolish masses? Why can't we just keep things civil and shut the [censored] up?
This right here. I believe PS is a fantastic place to come to for advice but wow, I have seen those threads go way south. Unappealing. Like you said Packrat, disagreement on topics is fine but its the way that some people come at you that's completey unnecessary. There are a lot of people here with good intentions and I really hope lurkers who are thinking about becoming members can recognize that! Say hi!
JewelFreak|1412334107|3761248 said:Gypsy said:I'd rather have genuine than nice. Polite is the standard we have to adhere to per the moderators. What the "nice" squad doesn't realize is that they aren't moderators.
Gypsy -- can you explain a little more, please? I don't see what's wrong with being polite, but maybe I'm just not understanding what you mean by it.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines "polite" as: " behaving in a way that shows respect for other people’s feelings." That does not mean that disagreement in a discussion is bad, only expressing it so that someone is hurt. Example: "I disagree & here's why, these & these facts." Instead of, "How can a human being with a so-called brain say such a thing?"
Is this what you mean or is it something else?
--- Laurie
monarch64|1412371981|3761647 said:Autumnovember|1412369521|3761608 said:packrat|1412361976|3761513 said:A difference in opinion is one thing. That's not what I was referring to. JD and I have differences in opinions all the time. And while I might be calling him names in my head and wanting to strangle him, I don't call him names out loud, and I keep my hands to myself. There are *times*, what I'm trying to say, when things get a little...over the top. When I think oh wow, if JD talked to me like that I think I'd pop him in the face. Or if my friend talked to me like that, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It's not like I expect a unicorn jump over us and fart rainbows and glitter-lord knows my expectations are not such. But I expect people to be civil, and I don't think that's too much to ask. That's not screaming someone is being a bully. Trapper cries and screams to me that I'm a bully when I tell him he can't ride his bike when the street lights are on. I think it goes both ways, quit being a whine baby pee pants throwing yourself to the ground b/c someone said "well huh, I guess I don't agree w/that". But if you don't agree w/someone, does it have to be w/a great gnashing of teeth and such an air of superiority and greatness that one of such lofty standards and knowledge deigned to speak to the great foolish masses? Why can't we just keep things civil and shut the [censored] up?
This right here. I believe PS is a fantastic place to come to for advice but wow, I have seen those threads go way south. Unappealing. Like you said Packrat, disagreement on topics is fine but its the way that some people come at you that's completey unnecessary. There are a lot of people here with good intentions and I really hope lurkers who are thinking about becoming members can recognize that! Say hi!
Great to see you, AN! Hope all is well! I don't mean to single you out at all, but you touched on something that I have been thinking about while reading this thread. I think that when people post threads meant to ask for advice on what to do about something in their lives, they should EXPECT to hear some things they might not really want to hear. Many times, posters seeking advice will actually say "hey, I'm feeling vulnerable about this, please go easy on me." In those instances, I don't think there is any piling-on. Discussion is kept pretty civil. In other instances, oh, let's say someone posts a thread asserting their very convicted opinion about whatever, and obviously is looking for people to agree with them/back them up/support them, the second 1-2 posters disagree and point out that maybe they're looking at the situation with an unhealthy attitude, the poster throws down the "bully" card and that's when things go south. Instead of that OP just saying "whoa, alright, maybe I should step back and re-evaluate my position" things intensify and it does indeed become a pile-on thread. I'm not saying the OP has to AGREE with differing opinions, but maybe before throwing down the bully card, the OP could make mention that they're listening/HEARING what's being said to them. Instead of "LALALALALA YOU GUYS ARE *******S AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT!"
Ok, obviously I needed to get that out of my system. Thanks for letting me use your post as a jumping off point, AN. I do miss your posts here, and hope you are feeling better/job is going well/marriage, family, pets are good.
Autumnovember|1412374561|3761674 said:monarch64|1412371981|3761647 said:Autumnovember|1412369521|3761608 said:packrat|1412361976|3761513 said:A difference in opinion is one thing. That's not what I was referring to. JD and I have differences in opinions all the time. And while I might be calling him names in my head and wanting to strangle him, I don't call him names out loud, and I keep my hands to myself. There are *times*, what I'm trying to say, when things get a little...over the top. When I think oh wow, if JD talked to me like that I think I'd pop him in the face. Or if my friend talked to me like that, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It's not like I expect a unicorn jump over us and fart rainbows and glitter-lord knows my expectations are not such. But I expect people to be civil, and I don't think that's too much to ask. That's not screaming someone is being a bully. Trapper cries and screams to me that I'm a bully when I tell him he can't ride his bike when the street lights are on. I think it goes both ways, quit being a whine baby pee pants throwing yourself to the ground b/c someone said "well huh, I guess I don't agree w/that". But if you don't agree w/someone, does it have to be w/a great gnashing of teeth and such an air of superiority and greatness that one of such lofty standards and knowledge deigned to speak to the great foolish masses? Why can't we just keep things civil and shut the [censored] up?
This right here. I believe PS is a fantastic place to come to for advice but wow, I have seen those threads go way south. Unappealing. Like you said Packrat, disagreement on topics is fine but its the way that some people come at you that's completey unnecessary. There are a lot of people here with good intentions and I really hope lurkers who are thinking about becoming members can recognize that! Say hi!
Great to see you, AN! Hope all is well! I don't mean to single you out at all, but you touched on something that I have been thinking about while reading this thread. I think that when people post threads meant to ask for advice on what to do about something in their lives, they should EXPECT to hear some things they might not really want to hear. Many times, posters seeking advice will actually say "hey, I'm feeling vulnerable about this, please go easy on me." In those instances, I don't think there is any piling-on. Discussion is kept pretty civil. In other instances, oh, let's say someone posts a thread asserting their very convicted opinion about whatever, and obviously is looking for people to agree with them/back them up/support them, the second 1-2 posters disagree and point out that maybe they're looking at the situation with an unhealthy attitude, the poster throws down the "bully" card and that's when things go south. Instead of that OP just saying "whoa, alright, maybe I should step back and re-evaluate my position" things intensify and it does indeed become a pile-on thread. I'm not saying the OP has to AGREE with differing opinions, but maybe before throwing down the bully card, the OP could make mention that they're listening/HEARING what's being said to them. Instead of "LALALALALA YOU GUYS ARE *******S AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT!"
Ok, obviously I needed to get that out of my system. Thanks for letting me use your post as a jumping off point, AN. I do miss your posts here, and hope you are feeling better/job is going well/marriage, family, pets are good.
Completely agree on all counts. I would like to see those seeking advice here be more clear about feeling vulnerable, its necessary in my opinion, to help maintain a conducive thread.
Hope you are well too!!! I bet baby A is getting so big! I'm doing well. I have been dealing with multiple very serious health conditions, and several hospitalizations. Trying my best to get everything stabilized and normal again. Marriage is still good and we are waiting on a mortgage approval for a house back in PA. My husband understands I need to be closer to my family because of my health issues. I'm going on two years working as an oncology/hematology infusion nurse and I love, love, love it! Very grounding for me which is exactly what I need!
And just so you know, your posts have always resonated with me and I love seeing what your thoughts are! I think I mentioned that before but I'll say it again!
Gypsy|1412372350|3761654 said:JewelFreak|1412334107|3761248 said:Gypsy said:I'd rather have genuine than nice. Polite is the standard we have to adhere to per the moderators. What the "nice" squad doesn't realize is that they aren't moderators.
Gypsy -- can you explain a little more, please? I don't see what's wrong with being polite, but maybe I'm just not understanding what you mean by it.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines "polite" as: " behaving in a way that shows respect for other people’s feelings." That does not mean that disagreement in a discussion is bad, only expressing it so that someone is hurt. Example: "I disagree & here's why, these & these facts." Instead of, "How can a human being with a so-called brain say such a thing?"
Is this what you mean or is it something else?
--- Laurie
Last post in this thread. You misunderstood me. I did not say there was anything wrong with being polite. In fact I said that polite is the standard the moderators expect us to adhere to. And I support that.
What I said is the problem is the expectation of the net nannies on this board of people not only being polite, but being nice. Which is NOT the standard the moderators impose. And that these self appointed net nannies use their self imposed idea of what nice is... including not disagreeing with people and not posting contradictory evidence... to bully the rest of us who DO have opinions and facts.
And your interpretation of polite is incorrect. "Respect for other people's feelings" does NOT mean "expressing it so that [No one] is hurt."
That is a fallacy. You can respect someone's opinions and still hurt them. What it means is not INTENTIONALLY inflicting harm to someone's feelings. Completely different. People get their feelings hurt all the time for no reason. You can't be genuine if you are worried about other people all the time. Being aware of them and avoiding undue intentional harm is all you need to do to be polite. What you are describing is being "nice." And as I've said, that is DIFFERENT from being polite. And those who confuse the two are often the ones who cry "bully" and so forth, and are in fact the ones being the bully.
And I really am out. So won't be replying to any further posts or reading them. So please do not ask for further clarification.
Bunny007|1412385577|3761752 said:PS is dreadfully boring these days. The more interesting topics are censored and the rest involve:
What's your favorite pizza topping?
Where do you buy your toilet brush?
How many times a week do you floss your teeth?
And so on...
Bunny007|1412385577|3761752 said:PS is dreadfully boring these days. The more interesting topics are censored and the rest involve:
What's your favorite pizza topping?
Where do you buy your toilet brush?
How many times a week do you floss your teeth?
And so on...
kenny|1412387252|3761764 said:Bunny007|1412385577|3761752 said:PS is dreadfully boring these days. The more interesting topics are censored and the rest involve:
What's your favorite pizza topping?
Where do you buy your toilet brush?
How many times a week do you floss your teeth?
And so on...
Bunny in 4.5 years you've only started 5 threads.
So, think up and start some interesting threads.
Time for Bunny to get Hopping!
Gypsy|1412379195|3761713 said:I changed my mind. Not leaving this thread and giving in to the "nice squad".
"Were Killers" "Enjoyed it" "Pounders". All suppositions and/or personal, name-calling attacks. Cosign Gypsy. I'm never here anymore and this is why. Have fun w/the "boredom".Gypsy|1412371254|3761639 said:smitcompton|1412354634|3761413 said:Hi,
Once, after such a pounding one poster said she "loathed" the other poster. In fact Gypsy, AJ Deco and others were the pounders. It wasn't a decent discussion, you were killers, and enjoyed it. Then when the poster leaves, you call her a whiner. There are times you should stop.
And there you have it. Aldj and I and other posters were speaking in general statements. Keeping it civil and polite. But we get personally attacked and accused of bullying. When actually... this post is the bullying post.
Thank you smitcompton for proving my point perfectly. You claim we are the bullies. But your post is the most bullying post of this thread so far. And that means I am out of the discussion entirely. I have no reason to sit here and be personally attacked.
smitcompton|1412354634|3761413 said:Hi,
The disagreements, or opposing opinions in discussions, cause a problem because some people are relentless in continuing to state their opposition. It seems to me that there are people who won't withdraw. So, if we happen to have a pile-on, which frequently happens, it feels and looks like a pounding against a poster. Once, after such a pounding one poster said she "loathed" the other poster. In fact Gypsy, AJ Deco and others were the pounders. It wasn't a decent discussion, you were killers, and enjoyed it. Then when the poster leaves, you call her a whiner. There are times you should stop.
Some people do feel superior, and need to deride others who are more able than they are. They can continue to feel superior at someone elses expense. The internet is not the best place for learning or good discussion. Too many variables with people behind a screen. I read some posts from some people. I do read Packrat, as I feel she is genuine, as Ksinger is as well.
My suggestion is, by all means disagree, but don't continue en masse to pound another.
Karl_K|1412392998|3761801 said:Mara was averaging 20 posts a day a me around 10 per day and Alj was around 15 and that was around a quarter of all posts in a day.
monarch64|1412388845|3761776 said:kenny|1412387252|3761764 said:Bunny007|1412385577|3761752 said:PS is dreadfully boring these days. The more interesting topics are censored and the rest involve:
What's your favorite pizza topping?
Where do you buy your toilet brush?
How many times a week do you floss your teeth?
And so on...
Bunny in 4.5 years you've only started 5 threads.
So, think up and start some interesting threads.
Time for Bunny to get Hopping!
Kenny, she did post a really interesting/provocative thread once. It was quickly removed, and I cannot remember why, but it must have violated some rule. Anyway, I think she shied away from the forums due to that and who can blame her? She shared a bit of personal information and maybe felt freaked out that she opened herself up and then the thread was removed. I just remember being shocked that it was removed and shaking my head.
You and DF are among the few who really get away with provocative threads here. I don't have an opinion on that one way or another, but it seems to be a phenomenon. I know you guys have had your share of threads pulled, but when I think back, it seems like a lot of what you guys post is kept around, even though if it was posted by anyone else it would be yanked immediately. Hmm...